Sunshine Again
by Princessinblues
Summary: Bella moves to Jacksonville after Edward leaves in New Moon. When she comes back to Washington for college, her life is altered by Jacob Black. Not a typical imprint story. Strong Bella.
1. Prologue

**So this came to me on a whim. I decided to take a chance and write a Bella/Jacob story. However, while this is an imprint story, it's a slow burn. Bella is a little different, she is much more of a strong character.**

 **Bella's growth is a highlight in this chapter, and Jacob comes later. The dates should line up, but just in case, let me know if I made an error. Enjoy and let me know what you all think.**

* * *

 ** _She's sick of this town, she's sick of that boy_**  
 ** _Yeah she's sick of dreams that never take flight_**  
 ** _There's gotta be more than the same old story_**  
 ** _So she's gonna turn the page tonight_**  
 ** _And turn the radio up (turn the radio up)_**  
 ** _Roll the windows down_**  
 ** _She got a full tank of gas (she got a full tank of gas)_**  
 ** _Ain't no stopping her now_**

 ** _She's got the pedal to the floor in a hand-me-down Ford,_**  
 ** _Yeah, the only thing that's left to do_**  
 ** _Is catch a couple green lights and those baby blue eyes_**  
 ** _Are leaving nothing in that rearview_**  
 ** _But dust, nothing but dust_**

 ** _~Dust-Eli Young Band_**

* * *

I tapped my fingers anxiously as my fingers clasped the photo album. Inside lay a few photographs of me without him. My mouth grew dry as a drop of reality hit me, he wasn't coming back.

I could write as many emails as I wanted to Alice's deactivated emails but that wouldn't change anything. The curtain fell, and I was without a knight in shining armor.

This wasn't the fairy tales that Renee red to me when I was a little girl. Edward wasn't going to come to save me from the tower.

Damsels in distress had to take matters in their own hands when princes didn't come save the day. Damsels in distress had to realize Prince Charming wasn't coming back.

All the urgent emails I sent in the dead of night couldn't bring him back. He made his choice, on that chilly autumn day in the forest.

The look of his eyes showed the sign of defeat, and realizing he couldn't pretend anymore. I spent numerous nights in the comfort of my bed crying myself to sleep.

I dreamed of him sitting in the rocking chair, watching me sleep. Sometimes the dream felt all too real, and I could imagine my window open again.

With a huff, I stalked over to my window and shut it. I looked out to the outside world into the dreary cloudy weather.

Forks always looked like it was about to rain, and these past few months have felt like waiting. Waiting for the earth shattering realization that he wasn't coming back.

The waiting had left me crippled, pained, and awaiting the rain to come and wash the fragments away. Instead, the sky remained stagnant and full of full clouds.

My finger traced over the photo album and I shoved the nearly empty photo album into a dusty desk drawer. I heard the front door open and loud steps accompanying it.

"Bella!" Charlie called. At the call of my name, I went down the stairs and into the kitchen. I found the dinner I assembled there, and sighed before answering.

"Hey Dad," I said, mustering a half-smile.

"How was school today?" Charlie asked, looking at me for any signs of distress. After he left, Charlie looked at me more closely than before.

Every interaction with him had an undertone of fear. He was scared of upsetting me, or saying the wrong thing.

"It was okay," I said, actually meaning it. Okay had become the most frequently used word in my dictionary. The pain constricted in my chest tightened as I grabbed the salad bowl from the counter.

"I made dinner, so if you're ready we can sit down," I offered gesturing to the already set table.

"Oh, thank you, Bells." Charlie said, clearly shocked. It had been weeks since I had actually made dinner; Charlie compensated by calling for pizza.

"This looks great," he said, accessing the chicken on the table. The dust on the table had been cleaned off finally. For a long time, Charlie resorted to eating dinner on the couch while watching ESPN.

"Thanks Dad," I said, with a small smile. He sat down at the table while I gave him a glass of water. He picked a large piece of chicken and began eating.

"Dad," I said. He looked up from his plate and met my gaze.

"I wanted to talk to you about something," I murmured, anxiousness coating my tone. I looked at him and he remained waiting for my news.

"I'm thinking about moving back to Florida with Mom," I said, my voice breaking. I looked in his eyes for any sign of pain.

"It's not because of anything you've done. You've been amazing to me and have put up with so much from me. I just...I can't," I struggled. This all went so much easier in my head.

"This place...just has too many memories and I'm so sorry I've been such a burden on you the past few weeks because you don't deserve it. Any of it," I said, my throat growing dry.

"I thought I could do it, and I can't. I thought I could get by and keep seeing everything that reminds me of..of..him," I said, my voice breaking.

"I think I need some sunshine, and I know running away from it doesn't solve anything but I want to heal. I want to breathe and live again and right now I feel like a robot," I said, tears pooling in my eyes. Charlie's shocked expression turned into understanding.

"And I want you to know I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for being so reckless, and for continually bringing stress to you," I said, my eyes brimming with tears.

With shaky legs I got up from the dinner table and walked to the bathroom. I thought I could hold it together, but I didn't. After a while, I heard a hesitant knock at the door.

I heard Charlie clear his throat and let out a deep breath.

"Bells," he said, coming out more like a question.

I wiped the stray tears from my eyes and hesitantly opened the bathroom door. Charlie's eyes showed pain as he looked at me.

I remained in my position on the ground as he handed me a glass of water. His kindness cracked my heart as I hesitantly took the glass from his hands.

He left a moment later, realizing I needed my space. Time seemed to creep by as I sat on the floor, finally allowing myself to cry.

Charlie came sometime later with a blanket. He squatted down next to me and wrapped me in a blanket. I looked up at him as he cautiously pat my shoulder.

For the first time in my life, I opened my arms and wrapped them around him. Charlie was at first shocked, but then responded by placing one hand behind my head as I cried on his shoulder.

We stayed there for a while as I returned to crying. Charlie didn't say a word, and the only sounds in the house were my broken sobs.

Moments passed, and I must have fallen asleep. When I came to, I realized Charlie was carrying me up the stairs. He was shaky as his grip on me sometimes faltered.

He laid me on my bed and tucked me underneath the blanket. He placed a water glass on my bedside table before he leaned down and kissed my forehead.

As I snuggled into the blankets, I felt a crack in my heart begin to close.

* * *

The next morning I called Renee.

"Mom," I said as she picked up the phone.

"Bella! Honey, it's been forever since I've heard from you," Renee said, her voice filled with relief. Pain flared in my stomach as I realized how long it had been since I spoke to her.

"I'm sorry about that, Mom," I apologized wincing at my slacking on being a daughter.

"It's okay, honey. How are you? Oh that's a bad question, but it's so good to hear your voice," Renee said, her words rushed. I almost chuckled at her jumbled words, but I kept quiet.

"It's good to hear your voice, too. I'm okay," I said, using that word again. The word that held my seams together.

"Bella, baby, I miss you. Why don't you come visit me? I'm sure you'd love it here, it's sunny almost every day," Renee said, her voice growing cheerful.

I felt my throat begin to close at her request.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," I murmured.

"Oh it's so beautiful here, there's beaches and it's so warm. The water is so clear and warm most days! You could maybe get a little tan," Renee giggled.

"Mom, I was thinking of moving back with you," I said, finally ripping off the band-aid. Renee had a sharp intake of breath as she processed my request.

"I think that's a great idea. I've tried to talk to your father about it, but he's stubborn. I think he'd be convinced if you suggested it," Renee said calculatingly.

"I've talked to him about it," I admitted.

"He's on board if you are," I added, twirling a pencil around my finger.

"Of course! I'd love another girl around this house! I mean, I love Phil but I miss my girl," Renee admitted, excitement bubbling in her voice.

"I miss you too," I murmured.

"I think a change of scenery would really help you, honey. It's so dark and gloomy in Forks," Renee chimed in. I didn't admit that I was running away from the memories and pain that dragged behind me in Forks.

"It is, and I'm ready for a change," I said, the words falling off my lips hesitantly. Those words began to set me free and realize it was through change that I could breathe again.

* * *

Boxes covered my floor as the moving process lingered on. I drummed my fingers anxiously against my desk as my computer loaded.

I was positive I was crazy, but I reassured myself that it was worth it. I opened my email and then started a new email. The receiver's ID was clearly deactivated, however I addressed the email the same.

 _Dear Alice,_

 _I know you're probably not reading these ever or will open them. However, writing them has been cathartic to me. So I'm going to pretend for a few minutes that I'm talking to you._

 _By now it's been eight months. Eight months since you and your family vanished without a trace from Forks. I want you to know I don't blame you and I'm not angry anymore._

 _Instead, I've accepted that you're not coming back. You had your reasons I'm sure, and I wish we could have had a proper goodbye._

 _I realize that goodbyes take time and energy, which is why I've chosen to write this. Writing these emails in my darkest hours of the night has been helpful with grieving._

 _You were an amazing friend to me, and I'm grateful for the time we spent together. I miss you, but I know wherever you are, you are happy._

 _If you talk to him, I hope he knows I forgive him. I'm not mad at him anymore for leaving, or for breaking up with me. I can't force someone to stay._

 _It is because I love him that I have to let him go. Loving him was crazy and addictive, a never ending roller coaster. And I'm realizing now that maybe it's because I was more in love with the adventure than I was with him._

 _Maybe I was in love with him saving me constantly._

 _And he deserves someone who is deeply in love with all of him-not just the mystery or the thrill. There isn't a doubt in my mind that a place in my heart will always be his._

 _He will linger in my heart as a could have been; whenever I choose to date again he will be the man I compare every other man to._

 _It's clear to me now that I was never meant for your world-I could not fit in. And I'm okay with that._

 _The truth is, this is my last email ever. I've decided to start living instead of just existing. I've decided to heal, and to move on like he wanted._

 _But this time it's not because of what he wanted, because I'm doing this for me._

 _I'm moving to Florida for a while with Renee. I'll spend my senior year in Jacksonville with her and Phil. I never thought I'd want to move back in with her, but she sounds like she's by herself most of the day with Phil gone a lot._

 _Maybe starting somewhere fresh will allow me to heal, or maybe I just miss the sunshine. Either way, I'm ready for change the very thing I feared for so long._

 _I miss you like crazy, Alice._

 _-Bella_

With a deep sigh I pressed the send button. I shut down the computer and started to place it in a box like the rest of my belongings.

I sealed the box shut with tape before leaning against it. I looked once more outside to the rainy and dismal weather and couldn't wait for sunshine.

* * *

I waved at Charlie as I walked into the entrance of the terminal. I hoisted my day bag closer to me as I shot Charlie one last smile.

Charlie waved back as he shuffled back and forth. Once I got on the plane I chose a window seat. The plane ride passed by seamlessly, without turbulence.

As the plane drew closer to Florida, sunshine crept through the window. I laid my head against the window as my eyes drifted closed.

When I woke up, everyone was getting off the plane. I shuffled into the aisle and grabbed my day bag before walking down the aisle and onto the steps.

I felt sunshine against my cheeks for the first time in months, and like a flower I felt myself reach for it.


	2. Peter Pan

**Hi y'all! Thank you so much for the reviews and keep them coming! To answer a few questions:**

 **Jake is 18 in this story and therefore has already phased. He hasn't seen Bella since the brief prom encounter (referenced in _Twilight_ ). No, Edward will not be evil or creepy. **

**My interpretation is intended to show Bella as a stronger character, and her transformation from girl to woman. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

 _ **Deep down, I knew that you were too good to be true**_  
 _ **But every piece and part of me wanted to believe in you**_  
 _ **But now it's happily ever never**_  
 _ **I guess now I know better**_  
 _ **You're just a lost boy, with your head up in the clouds**_  
 _ **You're just a lost boy, never keep your feet on the ground**_

 _ **You're always gonna fly away, just because you know you can**_  
 _ **You're never gonna learn there's no such place as Neverland**_  
 _ **You don't understand**_  
 _ **You'll never grow up**_  
 _ **You're never gonna be a man,**_  
 _ **Peter Pan**_

 _ **You're just a lost boy, yeah, I know who you are**_  
 _ **You don't know what you lost, boy,**_  
 _ **You're too busy chasing stars**_

 _ **And you're always gonna fly away, just because you know you can**_  
 _ **You're never gonna learn there's no such place as Neverland**_  
 _ **You don't understand**_  
 _ **You'll never grow up**_  
 _ **You're never gonna be a man**_

 _ **You're never grow up**_  
 _ **Yeah you're never gonna be a man,**_  
 _ **Peter Pan**_

 _ **~Peter Pan-Kelsea Ballerini**_

* * *

During the time I had spent in Jacksonville, I grew a deep appreciation for the beach. As the waves lapped against the shore, I stuck my feet deeper into the fine grained sand.

The mornings were my favorite time to spend at the beach, mostly because of the quiet. Before the tourists rushed on the beach, the only noise were the seagulls.

Most week end mornings I drove to the beach to spend time watching the waves. I sat with my knees to my chest as I watched numerous waves hit the damp sand with abandon.

As much as I wanted my heart ache to be left in Forks, heart ache followed me to Jacksonville. The pain in my chest remained a dull ache, and I spent every day continuing to go through the motions.

Renee tried to get me to talk about everything, but I wasn't ready. I didn't want the narrative that had been given to me. The naive teenager who fell in love with a guy who couldn't stay.

Along with the heartbreak came the reality of changing schools, which was a challenge. I encountered all the anxiousness I felt the day I stepped into Forks High School.

Lena was the first person who approached me on my first day.

 _I looked around through the maze of hallways, trying to find my first class. A girl with light auburn hair and wide green eyes quickly approached me._

 _"Are you lost?" She asked, her green eyes sparkling with curiosity._

 _"Yeah, it's my first day," I said, blush creeping on my cheeks._

 _"Oh! Well, welcome! My name is Lena, which room do you need help finding?" Lena asked, her voice bubbling with excitement. I reached in my pocket for the crumpled sheet of paper the secretary gave me this morning._

 _I fished it out and frantically tried to smooth the creases out before handing it to her._

 _She peered at my schedule for a moment, and a smile bloomed on her face._

 _"We actually have two classes together including your first class!" She said, handing the schedule back to me._

 _"I can walk you there," she said, her eyes twinkling. Lena seemed bright and full of energy, she reminded me of Alice. My smiled turned downward at the realization._

I realized it wasn't fair to compare Lena to Alice. Lena was full of energy, however she was passionate about every moment of life. She insisted on finding the bright side to every situation.

She moved around a majority of her life because of her father's military service. Lena was a master at adapting to whatever life threw her way. Lena did not force me to tell her everything, instead she was patient.

 _I looked around for Lena, and found her at the table against the wall. I sat down beside her. Melinda and Aria sat across from us. Melinda and Aria were both Lena's friends._

 _However, both of them quickly accepted me into their friend group._

 _"What are you doing tonight?" Lena asked Melinda and Aria. Aria stared at her phone for a moment before answering._

 _"My parents are taking my sister and me to my Abuela's house," Aria answered with a chuckle._

 _"Oh cool," I said, nodding my head._

 _"I haven't seen my Grandma in a while. She's crazy, she drinks all the time and insists on playing poker. If she doesn't win, she goes bat crap crazy," Aria said, shaking her head._

 _"She sounds like my Grandma," Melinda said, with a laugh._

 _"What about you, Melinda?" Lena asked._

 _"Oh, I'm going to my Dad's this weekend," Melinda shrugged._

 _"Dang it, I was hoping we could hang out at my house tonight," Lena said, clearly disappointed._

 _"I'm super bummed I'm away this weekend, but my parents want me to see my abuela," Aria said._

 _"No worries, we can do it some other time," Lena said, her tone optimistic._

 _"What are you doing tonight?" Melinda asked me._

 _"Oh umm...I don't think anything," I admitted._

 _"Why don't you come over to my house?" Lena suggested._

 _"Yeah, that sounds good," I agreed. Lena grinned brightly towards me. The rest of the school day passed by seamlessly, and Lena texted me her address later that afternoon._

 _I drove home in my 2003 Camry, which was an adjustment from my old truck in Forks. Phil wanted to buy a new car. He was more than willing to pass the car along to me._

 _I learned how to drive something other than a stick shift, but the adjustment wasn't as hard as I feared. Often, I rolled the windows down which wasn't as laborous as rolling the windows down in my truck._

 _I pulled into our subdivision, which was the typical white picket houses. However, Renee insisted on a brightly colored house so we had a bright yellow house. The house was one story with a garage._

 _I pulled into the driveway before putting my car into park._

 _I twisted the key into the knob before the I turned the knob._

 _"Mom?" I called as I opened the door. The entry way was decorated with light grey walls and paintings of the ocean._

 _"In here!" Renee replied, and I followed the sound to the kitchen. Well, this was odd. Renee never cooked, I was usually responsible for the meal preparation. Either I made dinner, or Renee brought home some salads from her favorite organic salad place._

 _"Mom, what are you doing?" I asked as I observed her stuffing fruit into the fridge._

 _"I just went for a grocery run, and I bought all these organic fruits like cantaloupe and watermelon. I really want Phil to start eating healthier," Renee answered._

 _"Fat chance of that happening," I commented. Phil was famous for coming home with wings and pizza._

 _"Oh he will, if I have something to say about it," Renee said with confidence. I chuckled as she closed the fridge and walked to the living room._

 _"How was your day at school?" Renee asked, as she grabbed her mug of hot tea before sitting on the couch._

 _"It was good actually," I said, and Renee seemed pleased with my response. She was worried about me starting in a new high school again._

 _"I'm glad, are you making friends?" Renee asked. I shook my head and let out a chuckle._

 _"Yes, Mom. I'm actually going to Lena's house tonight," I said and Renee immediately grinned brightly._

 _"I'm so glad, honey. What is Lena like? What do you think you'll do?" Renee asked, her voice bubbling with excitement._

 _"Umm, well I think I'll sleep over at her house. She's really sweet, she was the first person who talked to me the first day of school. I have a couple of classes with her," I replied._

 _"I'm so glad, baby. I'm so proud of you," Renee said, reaching her hand out to hold mine. Only my mother would be proud of me for being a typical teenager. The first few weeks of my stay she would have to pry me out of my room._

 _Our roles were reversed, with me being more like a mother. I do give credit to Renee, she never badgered me with questions about him. I'm sure it took every ounce of her self control._

 _"Thanks, Mom," I murmured as I began to dart up the steps. I went up to my bedroom, which was bigger than my bedroom in Forks. Renee painted the walls a sea blue, and plastered the walls with pictures of me from when I was younger._

 _Above my bed there was a picture of her and me on the beach when I was three. She was smiling brightly while I held my shovel with a sand castle in front of us._

 _I walked to my closet, which was barely filled with my clothes much to Renee's chagrin. I grabbed a pair of pajama pants along with a tank before I grabbed a quilt along with a small pillow._

 _I darted into the bathroom attached to my room and snagged my toiletries before throwing them into a canvas bag. My phone buzzed and Lena's name lighted up with my screen._

 ** _"come at like 6ish if that works." I quickly texted back, "okay, see you then."_**

 _ **"** Mom!" I called down the stairs._

 _"Yes!" Renee shouted back._

 _"Are you okay making dinner tonight?" I asked, realizing I wasn't going to be able to make dinner that night._

 _"I'll just pick up something!" Renee said, shouting back to me. I peered over at the clock and realized I needed to get going. I managed to grab my canvas bag along with my car keys._

 _I sprinted down the steps before walking into the family room. Renee was sprawled out on the couch with her newest self help book._

 _"I'll be back tomorrow morning," I said as she looked up from her book to me._

 _"Have fun, sweetie!" Renee said with a grin. I waved once more before closing the front door behind me. I found Lena's house with ease. Her house was brick and had flowers lining the porch._

 _Before I went to her door, I grabbed my things. Cautiously, I knocked gently on the front door. Almost instantaneously, Lena opened the door._

 _"Come on in," she said, opening the door wide. Her entry way were filled with children's paintings along with beach themed paintings._

 _"Thanks," I murmured._

 _"My Dad's out for the weekend, but I made us dinner," Lena informed as she led me into her small kitchen. The walls were painted green and a chesnut table was placed in the center with matching chairs._

 _She brought me to the table and gestured for me to sit down._

 _"Do you need any help?" I asked as she began to bring plates over to the table._

 _"Nope, I got it," Lena said as she brought a plate with chicken and mac and cheese._

 _"Mac and cheese is my favorite so I couldn't help myself," Lena commented._

 _"Oh, it's okay I love it," I assured her._

 _"Do you want anything to drink?" Lena asked as she went over to the cabinets._

 _"Water is fine, thank you," I replied. She handed me a glass of water before she sat across from me._

 _"So where are you from?" She asked._

 _"I was born in Forks, Washington. I moved to Phoenix with my Mom before I moved back to Forks," I answered as I took a forkful of pasta._

 _"Does your Dad live there?" She asked before she took a sip of water._

 _"Yeah, my parents divorced when I was really little," I replied._

 _"So why did you move back to Forks?"_

 _"My Mom got remarried, and I wanted her to have some time with her new husband. My Mom's...different. She had me pretty young and it's a different dynamic between her and me." I replied as I shook my head._

 _"I hadn't seen my Dad in a few years, so I figured it was good to finish my high school days there," I added._

 _"What's Forks like?"_

 _"It's very rainy and kinda gloomy. My Dad's the chief of police and it's a small town," I said with a small smile. So far there wasn't any pain in my chest; that alone was progress._

 _"It must be very different from here," Lena said with a chuckle._

 _"You could say that. I liked it, but I missed the sunshine," I commented. I finished my plate of food and Lena finished hers. She stacked my plate on top of hers before I could protest._

 _She placed them in the dishwasher before she turned to me._

 _"Do you want to go to the beach? I like to see the sunset out there," Lena asked. I nodded my head, smiling at her softly. She grabbed her keys from the counter before gesturing for me to follow her. She and I piled into her older sedan. At first, conversation lulled between the crazy assignments of junior year to the beast known as prom._

 _Once we reached the beach, she pulled in the parking lot. There wasn't a massive number of people on the beach, and she grabbed a towel from her trunk before walking onto the sands._

 _I followed her and she fanned the towel out on the sand. She sat down balancing her elbows on top of her knees._

 _"I'm sorry I'm asking you so many questions, I'm honestly curious. I wanna know more about you," Lena admitted. I shot her a hesitant smile before answering._

 _"It's okay," I assured her._

 _"I tend to ask people way too many questions so just let me know if I ask something too personal," Lena said with caution._

 _"I will."_

 _"Why'd you move back here?" Her question caused me to nearly drop my fork. I pursed my lips together as I tried to find the right words. I bit my lip before I found an acceptable answer._

 _"I wanted a change," I shrugged._

 _"That's understandable." I decided to turn the tables and direct the attention away from me._

 _"So are you from here?" I asked._

 _"I was born in Virginia, but I've moved around a lot," she admitted._

 _"How many times have you moved?" I asked. She thought for a moment before she answered._

 _"Four," she answered._

 _"My Dad's a marine fighter pilot, so when he was deployed I moved in with my Grandma," she added._

 _"When did you move here?" I asked._

 _"Last year, so I knew exactly how you felt your first day. And I totally understand, I like change. I've always been good at moving around," Lena said, biting her lip._

 _"Your Dad's home now, right?" I asked._

 _"Yeah, he's home now. He's just doing training this weekend."_

 _"So you're here alone all weekend?" I asked, curiosity painting my tone._

 _"Yeah, it's just me. I know you're going to ask, so I'll just tell you. My Mom left us when I was seven, and it's just been the two of us since then," Lena confessed._

 _"I'm so sorry," I said. I felt awful that she had to go through that._

 _"It's okay, sometimes it works out for the best. My Mom couldn't handle my Dad being gone all the time and she never really wanted to be a mother. She got what she wanted," Lena shrugged._

 _"She missed out big time," I said. The corners of Lena's mouth turned upwards._

 _"Thank you. That's really sweet of you to say. I've forgiven her now," Lena said._

 _"How'd you do it?" I asked._

 _"What?"_

 _"Forgive," I said, my mouth growing dry._

 _"It's a process. I mean, the pain is still there. When I was little and we had to make crafts for mother's day each time I had to explain I didn't have a mother. When I saw girls shop with their moms, the pain came back again," Lena answered._

 _"Once you face the pain, and allow yourself to grieve you're able to start over again. When you start over, you allow yourself to break free from the pain and bitterness. You allow yourself to undergo the final action of love: forgiving them. Not because what they did was okay, but because you deserve peace," Lena explained._

 _Maybe that's what I needed to do, allow myself to have peace again._

 _"You make it sound so easy," I murmured._

 _"It's not, it takes so many days and nights of tears and sleepless nights. But slowly, you allow the pain to no longer dictate who you are anymore." Lena added._

 _"Bella, whatever happened to you or whatever caused you to leave Forks you have to let go. I know you've probably heard that a hundred times, but you whatever somebody did to you does not define you. You deserve so much more than to allow yourself to shut down," Lena said, reaching her hand over to meet mine._

 _"I know I'm being weird, but I'm good at seeing people. And I know you carry around pain that holds you back," Lena continued. The snowball in my throat began to grow larger. My eyes widened as I began to wrap my arms around my center in order to hold the pieces together._

 _"Bella, you deserve to be happy, and I'm telling you this because you're not," Lena said her voice gaining intensity. I looked out onto the sunset as I processed her words._

 _"You don't have to tell me what happened, but I want you to know I'm here for you. And whatever happened you still deserve happiness," Lena said with compassion. I swallowed as I contemplated her words._

 _That was the first time I heard those words in a long time. Edw-He said them on multiple occasions but they didn't hold the sincerity or the compassion hers did._

 _"Thank you," I murmured, the snowball beginning to melt in my throat._

 _"I didn't mean to push you, but I've wanted to talk to you about it for a long time. I can't sympathize completely with whatever you're going through but I'm willing to listen. I won't even talk, which as you know is a challenge for me," Lena said her voice growing softer._

 _I couldn't remember a time when I had talked to someone about it. For ages I believed I was acting like a child, or that I was overreacting. I believed that healing could only occur if I pushed it back far enough in my brain._

 _Healing was getting out of bed every morning and going through the motions of every day life while pretending the ache in my chest didn't exist. The Edwar-his size hole in my heart gaped wide and remained bleeding._

 _Instead of the snowball growing in intensity and size in my throat as it did whenever I allowed myself to remember the heartache, words floated up. I licked my lips as breath whooshed out of my lungs._

 _"During my first week in Forks I met this guy. He was mysterious and I never even batted an eye at boys before, but he was different. He didn't act like the rest of the high school boys I grew so accustomed to encountering," I said, not completely believing I was talking._

 _"He immediately captured my attention. His family-his brothers and sisters, were different like him. We eventually started dating, and I never had gone out with a guy before him. He treated me like I was a prized jewel in his eyes."_

 _"We started dating, after a long period of wanting to. We spent almost every minute together, we were practically joined at the hip. Then, I got into an accident," I murmured, wincing at the word 'accident.' I traced the faint scar on my hand from James' attack._

 _"I ended up in the hospital, and he took care of me. I became best friends with his sister, Alice, and I went to prom with him. He was the perfect gentleman, and looked at me like I was a glass of water and he was a man who spent months in the desert. He looked at me like I was his whole world," I continued, biting my lip._

 _"We spent the summer together and we were inseparable. On my birthday, I spent time with him and his family. It didn't go well, and he blamed himself for it," I said, flashes of my birthday party at the Cullen's echoing through my head._

 _"He was different after that, much more reserved and removed from me. After my birthday, he no longer looked at me that way anymore. Then one day, he led me out into the forest and admitted he wasn't in love with me anymore. He didn't want me anymore," I admitted tears beginning to cloud my vision._

 _"He left, and that included his whole family. I don't know how long I wandered around in those woods in total shock. Hours later, or maybe minutes, a family friend of mine found me. He brought me back to my father, and my Dad didn't know what to do. I barely spoke to him unless he asked me a question and barely functioned." I said, closing my eyes tight for a moment._

 _"A few weeks later, I started to go through the motions again. However, I kept thinking about him. Everything I did reminded me of him. So one day I started to realize that maybe if I went somewhere new I could heal."_

 _"I told my Dad that I wanted to move back with my Mom and he accepted it. A few weeks later, I took a plane trip and ended up here." I said, breathing a sigh of relief. I managed to get through it without breaking down._

 _Lena looked at me, sorrow and sympathy shining in her eyes. She opened her mouth for a moment before closing it. She pursed her lips for a moment before she wrapped her arms around me._

 _I tensed in her embrace for a moment before I gradually let my body relax. Without realizing it, a sob floated up. Tears bloomed in my eyes as they began to stream down my cheeks._

 _However, this time the tears allowed me to breathe again. She didn't stop holding me and didn't say a word. All I could hear was the rhythmic sound of waves lapping against the shore._

With my fingers sliding against the canvas beside me I looked once more onto the sunrise. I grabbed my brush along with the paint set and slowly stroked my brush against the canvas.

I took a deep breath before I slid my brush along the canvas. Painting became my way of escaping, along with a mechanism to help me heal. Lena that night suggested to me that I should find a way to help me cope.

She believed healing takes place when you allow your pain to transform into something beautiful. For Lena, she began to play the violin. I came to every single one of her recitals senior year.

On a whim one evening, I went to Michael's and bought a canvas along with a paint set. The next morning, I drove out to the beach and just started painting. Many Saturdays I found myself at the beach painting the waves.

One night, Lena found my paintings in my room. She was so overjoyed that I found a way to funnel my pain into a new creation. My senior year I took an art class, and my teacher took an interest in me.

Mrs. Newport urged me to continue to paint, even after the class ended.

Now, I laid with my canvas in the sand. My initial idea was to give the painting as a graduation gift to Lena. Lena would be attending Georgia Tech in hopes of attaining a computer science degree.

Lena claimed that music was similar to computer codes.

I remember the day I decided where I would go for college.

 _"Bella!" Phil called. I raced down the stairs and met Phil in the living room._

 _"A couple more colleges sent stuff for you," he said, handing me a stack of envelopes._

 _"Thanks!" I said as I went back up the stairs. Once I walked into my room I carefully opened one envelope from Princeton. I scanned the letter and I gasped when I read the word 'accepted'. I was floored, to say the least. I threw that one on my bed before opening the next one._

 _The next one was from Northwestern, and I gasped again when I read the word accepted._

 _The next one was from Washington. I applied on a whim, and my eyes widened as I read 'accepted. I couldn't believe I had even applied there, after I did I questioned why I did._

 _Returning to Washington wasn't on my radar for the past two years I had been living in Jacksonville. When I first started living in Jacksonville, I was set on expanding my horizons and that meant away from rainy Washington._

 _However, I rarely saw Charlie. In fact, I only called him about once a month. As much as I hated to admit it, I missed Washington. I missed Forks. I realized that he wasn't coming back, and therefore he couldn't keep me away from there anymore._

 _I quickly dialed Lena's number._

 _"Hey," she answered._

 _"Hey are you free right now?" I asked, rushing my words out._

 _"Yeah, absolutely. Do you want me to meet you somewhere?" Lena asked, quickly hearing the tone in my voice._

 _"Beach?" I offered._

 _"Yep, see you in fifteen," Lena said. I bounded down the stairs and grabbed my keys from the kitchen counter. I got into my car before driving to the beach. As soon as I reached the beach, I walked onto the sand._

 _Lena drove up a minute later and quickly parked. She half ran to me, her expression curious._

 _"What's going on?" She asked._

 _"I heard back from colleges," I admitted._

 _"That's awesome, how'd it go?" She asked._

 _"I was accepted into Princeton, Northwestern, and Washington," I answered._

 _"I didn't know you applied to Washington," she said, her eyebrows knitting together._

 _"Yeah, I kind of forgot I did," I said with a chuckle._

 _"So which one are you leaning to?" She asked._

 _"I'm excited I was accepted into Northwestern, it's been my dream school." I said, tracing my hand in the sand._

 _"Well then you have an easy decision," she said._

 _"But I don't know...I'm also leaning to Washington," I said, biting my lip._

 _"Bella, you have always said you never want to go back," Lena reminded._

 _"I know, but I think that was because I was afraid of seeing him...of being reminded of him," I said._

 _"And?"_

 _"He's not there anymore. He's not coming back, and I miss Washington," I admitted. A smile slowly began to creep across her lips._

 _"Why else do you wanna go there?" She asked._

 _"I want to make new memories and the English department is good," I said, my fingers sifting through the sand._

 _"Then do it, take a risk, Bella," Lena suggested. I took a deep breath and looked onto the familiar waves breaking in the distance. By taking chances I could reclaim my life._

I graduated high school the first week of June. Renee screamed loudly when my name was called. Renee was at first confused why I chose to go to Washington.

 _"Bella, can I come in?" Renee asked as she knocked on the door softly to my room._

 _"Yeah," I answered. She came in and sat beside me on my bed._

 _"So Washington, huh?" She asked._

 _"Yep," I said, smiling at her._

 _"I thought you didn't want to go back there," Renee said, curiosity coloring her tone._

 _"I did, but I changed my mind," I said, shrugging._

 _"What made you change it?"_

 _"I grew up, Mom. I realized that he wasn't coming back, and I can't allow him to still hold weight in my life," I answered. I could have never told Renee that a year ago, however words came easier now. The snowball had begun to melt._

 _"Washington has a good English program, and I want to make good memories there; memories that don't involve him," I added._

 _"Are you sure this is a good idea? When you came here, baby, you were practically a zombie. I'm just worried about you going back there and falling back into that again," Renee admitted._

 _"Mom, that was a long time ago. I'm so sorry for how I acted back then, it wasn't fair to you. I'll always love him, but it doesn't mean that love can control me," I said, and she hugged me._

 _"I'm so proud of you, baby. If you're sure this is the right thing to do, I'm all for it. I just worry," Renee admitted, pressing her lips together._

 _"Don't worry, I'm okay," I said, allowing a small smile to stretch across my lips. For the first time, I meant it. The cracks in my heart were there, but they were held together by the time that passed._

I finally finished the painting after a few hours. When I arrived back to the house, I placed it in my room to dry. I found wrapping paper from a few Christmases ago and once the painting dried, I wrapped it.

My wrapping job was surprisingly up to par. I drove over to Lena's house, at this point in our friendship I didn't even have to call her anymore. I rolled into her driveway and found her sitting on her front steps. She waved at me as I parked.

I walked towards her, armed with her gift.

"Hey," she greeted, giving me a quick hug.

"Hey, so I have your graduation gift," I said, presenting her with the gift.

"Oh, Bella, that's so sweet," she said as I handed it over to her.

"Open it," I said with encouragement. She gently ripped the wrapping paper off the canvas. She covered her mouth with her hand. She looked at me with happiness shining brightly in her green eyes.

She looked at the beach themed painting. The sunrise peeped over the waves as two girls sat on the sand gazing at it.

"Oh Bella, this is beautiful. Thank you so much," she said her eyes shining with tears.

"Thank you for being there for me, and for teaching me how to heal." I said, giving her a hug.

"You taught me so much, thank you," she murmured. I'm not sure how long we sat on her porch just laughing about our days in High School, and our countless inside jokes.

Summer passed by quickly and before I knew it, I was packing up my room. The boxes somehow fit in my small Camry as Renee and Phil looked on from the steps.

"Be safe, okay? Call me when you get to Chattanooga," Renee instructed. I nodded as I embraced her. I planned out the driving aspect of the trip to a t. Phil gave me a big hug before I walked over to my overly packed Camry.

I drove to Chattanooga before stopping for the night. The next morning I drove to Kansas City before taking a breather. My next pit stop for the night was Chadron, Nebraska. After that long leg, I drove to Twin Falls, Idaho. My last leg was painful, which was from Twin Falls to Seattle.

When I read the 'Welcome to Seattle' sign I nearly cried with joy. I stayed in Seattle for the night before driving to Forks. As soon as I laid down in the hotel bed, I dialed the phone number rarely dialed.

At first, I heard two dial tones.

Then, I heard the familiar gruff voice answer.

"Hey Dad, it's me, Bella." I murmured.

* * *

 **I know, no sign of Jake. Don't worry, that'll be next chapter :) Let me know what y'all think by leaving me a review! All the best and see ya next week!**

 **-Princessinblues**


	3. Compass

**Hi y'all! Thank you to those who reviewed :) I would love to hear more of y'all's opinion on it. I enabled anonymous reviews, so you don't have to have an account to review. Now, Bella gets to meet Jake and we learn a little more about Bella's time in Jacksonville.**

* * *

 _ **Yeah it's been a bumpy road**_  
 _ **Roller coasters high and low**_  
 _ **Fill the tank and drive the car**_  
 _ **Pedal fast, pedal hard**_  
 _ **You won't have to go that far**_

 _ **You want to give up cause it's dark**_  
 _ **We're really not that far apart**_

 _ **So let your heart sweetheart be your compass when you're lost**_  
 _ **And you should follow it wherever it may go**_  
 _ **When it's all said and done you can walk instead of run**_  
 _ **'Cause no matter what you'll never be alone**_  
 _ **Never be alone**_  
 _ **Never be alone**_

 _ **Forgot directions on your way**_  
 _ **Don't close your eyes don't be afraid**_  
 _ **We might be crazy late at night**_  
 _ **I can't wait til you arrive**_  
 _ **Follow stars you'll be alright**_

 _ **~Compass-Lady Antebellum**_

* * *

"Hey Bells! Your mom called to let me know you'd be in town. Have you moved in yet?" He asked.

"I'm actually in a hotel, outside Seattle for the night. I'm moving in tomorrow though," I assured him.

"Great, do you need any help? I'm on duty for the whole day, but I can talk to Billy and see if he can get some boys to help you out," Charlie suggested, and I remembered the last time I saw Jacob.

Jacob and I were friends in our sandbox days, making mudpies in Billy's driveway. When Edward and I went to prom, he barged in.

"I mean, if they don't mind. But if it's too much of a hassle, don't worry about it," I said casually.

"He offered, and it's been a while since you've seen Jake. He's really sprouted up," he remarked.

"I bet, he looked like he was about to grow like a beanpole the last time I saw him," I said with a chuckle.

"He has, you won't recognize him! I'm sure he'll bring a couple of his buddies along," Charlie commented.

"Okay, great. I'll drive and see you this weekend," I said.

"Okay, I'll see you soon. Love you, Bells," Charlie said, subtle excitement coloring his tone.

"Yep, see you soon. Love you too, Dad," I said before I hung up. When I woke up the next morning I sprinted to my car after checking out. I drove to campus and went through the annoying check-in procedures and got my parking pass.

As soon as I parked in the parking lot of my dorm, I fiddled around in my pocket for my room key. Once I found it, I opened the trunk of my car where a ton of boxes awaited me.

"Bella?" A deep voice behind me called. I turned around, almost hitting myself on a box.

"Hi!" I said, looking over the man in front of me. He was huge, easily six-four and had deep russet colored skin. His ebony eyes met mine as he stuck out his hand to me.

"I'm Jacob, I'm not sure if you remember me," he said, staring into my eyes. His eyes changed as he looked me over.

"Charlie was right, I didn't recognize you. He wasn't kidding when he said you grew up!" I said with surprise. He didn't look like the same clumsy teenager who danced with me at prom.

"Yeah, I guess," he chuckled.

"You cut your hair," I observed.

"Yeah, I did, it was too long," he explained.

"You look different too," he said as he appraised me.

"Jake! Quit hitting on her, we have a job to do!" A stocky taller guy said as he approached us. I blushed at his comment before looking down.

"You must be Bella, I'm Seth," Seth said, flashing a toothy smile.

"Are you Sue's kid?" I asked.

"Yep!" He answered.

"It's nice to meet you too, Seth. Thank you for helping me out today," I said, shaking his hand.

"Jeez, Bella, how did you fit all of this in your car?" Jacob asked.

"It was a challenge, Phil and I had to basically jam it all in there," I answered, shaking my head. Seth grabbed two boxes and Jacob followed suit.

"What floor is your room on?" Seth asked.

"Fourth," I said, wincing.

"It's okay, we're strong. We can do it, lead the way," Jacob assured me. I grabbed a smaller box as I led them to the dorm. We walked up the older steps and once I reached my dorm room, I found my key.

My roommate hadn't moved in yet, so I chose the right side of the room. I placed the boxes at the end of my bed.

"You look tanner, Bella. Did you get some sun down there?" Jacob asked as we walked down flights of stairs.

"Yeah, I guess. I didn't think it was possible, but I spent a lot of time on the beach," I answered, wondering if I actually got any darker from my pasty complexion.

"I think so, I haven't seen you since Sam brought you out of the woods that day," Seth chimed in. Instead of pain flaring in my chest, I didn't feel anything at his comment.

"Yeah, it's hard to believe that was almost two years ago," I murmured, shaking my head.

"I'm so glad we haven't seen the bloodsuckers since!" Seth exclaimed. Jacob shot him a warning glare.

"Seriously, Seth?" Jacob said, glaring at him.

"It's okay, Jacob, it was a long time ago," I assured him, wanting him to back off.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't realize..." Seth said, apologetically.

"It's okay, Seth. You don't have to apologize," I interrupted. Once we arrived back in the parking lot, Jacob and Seth grabbed another round of boxes. I grabbed a larger box this time.

"Bella, are you okay with that?" Jake asked.

"Yep, I got it," I said with confidence. My arms were killing me by the time we reached the second floor. As soon as we reached my dorm room I nearly cried with relief. Seth left to grab another round of boxes. I dropped the box prematurely on my foot. I let out a brief string of curses.

"Bella, are you okay?" Jacob asked worriedly as I hopped around like an idiot.

"Yep!" I said, as I grabbed my foot.

"Are you sure? Can I look at it?" Jacob asked, anxiousness coloring his tone.

"I really don't think I broke it or anything," I said.

"Bella, if it's sprained or anything we should probably take you to an ER," Jake suggested, worry further coloring his tone. I nearly laughed, I haven't even spent two hours on campus yet and I already possibly had to go to the ER.

"Jacob, it's not a big deal. I'm sure if anything I just bruised it," I said as my foot continued to throb with pain.

"Bella," Jacob said, anxiousness growing heavier in his tone.

"Okay fine, you win," I groaned. I was a sucker. I peeled off my sneaker along with my sock. As soon as I peeled my sock off, his warm hand was on my foot. I felt something foreign as he gently held my foot in his palm. Was that a spark?

At first he jumped for a second like he'd been electrocuted, but then his hand encompassed the sides of my foot. There was already a yellow tinge coloring my foot. I wished I had a pedicure or something because my foot looked gross.

"You're already starting to bruise," he murmured.

"Did Charlie warn you I was really clumsy?" I asked, attempting humor.

"Yes, he did. And he's so gonna kill me," he said shaking his head.

"Can you move your toes?" He questioned. I tried to wiggle my toes, but pain greeted me. He saw me wince and immediately sprang into action. He found a couple of my pillows.

"Why don't you lay down and I'll try to find you an ice pack," Jake suggested.

"Umm, I'm fine," I said.

"Bella, I think you should take it easy for a little bit. I can go find some ice and you can elevate your foot to prevent more swelling," Jacob suggested.

"Umm, okay, there should be a communal kitchen with a fridge and freezer," I said, pointing to the right side of the hallway. He nodded and dashed out. He came back almost seconds later, with a bag of ice. He wrapped the bag with a rag from his pocket.

He put a few pillows on the bed.

"Put your foot on top of those and put this ice pack on your foot," he instructed gently.

"Don't worry about the rest of the boxes, Seth and I will take care of them," Jacob said, reassuring me.

"I'm so sorry, I can't believe my clumsiness decided to make a grand entrance," I said in embarrassment, blush heating my cheeks. Jacob smiled cheekily before shaking his head.

"Don't apologize, Bella, it's okay. Just wait here, okay?" Jacob said with caution. Jacob's change since the last time I saw him was drastic. He looked twenty-five, not eighteen.

He was more muscled, and no longer a compilation of long gangly limbs. He had shorter hair that was maybe three inches from his scalp. I could hear Seth and Jacob's voice in the hallway.

"Jeez, Bella, you're not even two hours in and you're already hurt," Seth said teasingly.

"I'm sorry, I can't believe it," I said with embarrassment.

"Don't apologize, I think Jake likes taking care of you," Seth said with a wink. Jacob immediately elbowed him in the stomach. Blush heated my cheeks at his comment.

"We finished all the boxes," Jacob said, eager to change the topic.

"Thank you guys so much. I definitely owe you one. I'm coming out to Forks this weekend, so I can bring you by dinner as a payment for your kindness," I suggested.

"Food sounds great," Seth nodded enthusiastically.

"Stop by La Push if you have a chance," Jacob suggested.

"Absolutely," I nodded.

"So are you gonna try to unpack all this tonight?" Seth asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to try," I answered.

"You should rest that foot though," Jake suggested.

"Oh I'm fine, I'll just limp around. Thank you so much for helping me and taking care of me," I said, smiling at him.

"Be safe, okay? You don't wanna break that foot," Jake said, his eyes meeting mine with intensity.

"I will," I said with assurance. Seth left after a moment, and Jacob and I were left in the room.

"It's really good to see you, when Charlie told me you were coming back I didn't know what to expect," Jacob admitted.

"I'm okay now, I really need to thank Sam for finding me. Thank you for interrupting prom that night, it wasn't what I wanted to hear then, but thank you," I said, and Jacob smiled.

"You're welcome, that was all Billy. I'm glad you're back, I wanna get to know you," Jake said, his eyes shining. A little butterfly flew in my stomach at his words.

"Same here, Jacob," I said, smiling widely at him.

"Oh ummm...Is it okay if I give you my number? So I know you didn't inflict any more damage on your foot?" Jacob asked. I laughed a little at his awkwardness, and nodded.

He put his number in my phone.

"Be safe, okay? Keep that ice pack on twenty minutes on and twenty minutes off." He instructed.

"Got it, Doctor Black," I said, saluting him. He laughed before he shook his head.

"What about your towel?" I asked, remembering it was looped around the ice pack.

"Don't worry about it," he said, waving his hand.

"Thank you, Jacob, for everything today," I said, and he smiled with one dimple showing.

"You're welcome, Bella," Jacob said, I scooted towards the edge of my bed. I opened my arms and he took my hint. I gave him a short hug before I pulled away. His embrace felt different, he was much warmer and I fought the urge to stay there.

He smiled down at me before he started to walk away. Before he reached the door, he turned back around.

"And Bella?" He called.

"Call me Jake," he said, throwing me one more smile before closing the door behind him. Jake wasn't the awkward teenager I remembered that night during prom. Instead, he looked older. He lost his rounded face, and grew into his large frame.

He had quiet confidence in himself.

I shifted around in my bed so I could grab the box filled with my comforter and sheets. I threw my sheets on my bed before rummaging around another box. I found a few of my paintings and put them on the walls.

I picked up my sketchbook from my backpack and resumed my position on the bed again. A few minutes later, the door opened. A girl struggling with a box appeared in the doorway.

She had her brown curly hair pulled back into a low bun and brown eyes peered through large framed glasses. I hopped out of bed, ignoring my foot and raced to help her.

"Thank you," she murmured softly.

"You're welcome," I said as I helped steady the box down on the ground.

"My name is Bella," I said, sticking my hand out for a handshake.

"I'm Luna," she said, adjusting her glasses before shaking my hand. She studied my side of the room for a moment.

"You're an artist," she said, observing my paintings.

"Oh no, I just do it for fun," I said, shaking my head.

"You're really good," she said, giving me a closed lipped smile.

"Oh, thank you," I said, blush coating my cheeks. I helped her with the rest of the boxes before I began to sort through my backpack. Once I went back in my bed, I realized I hadn't texted Jake.

 _ **To: Jacob Black**_

 _ **From: Bella Swan**_

 **Hi, it's Bella. Just wanted to make sure you made it home okay.**

Once I sent it, I sorted through my plethora of boxes and found a can of soup. I hopped into the kitchen and heated up a can of soup. When I hopped back into my room my phone dinged and lit up with a notification.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Jacob Black**_

 **Hi Bella! Seth and I both got back okay. How's your foot?**

 _ **To: Jacob Black**_

 _ **From: Bella Swan**_

 **I'm getting better at hopping around on it. I'm sure it'll be good as new tomorrow**.

Before I could start eating my dinner, my phone dinged again.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Jacob Black**_

 **Have you been off of it? Hopping around like a rabbit, huh?**

 _ **To: Jacob Black**_

 _ **From: Bella Swan**_

 **Kind of. I'm icing it now, Dr. Black. I think I'm really giving Bugs Bunny a run for his money. I finished my soup sometime later, and heard my phone ding once more.**

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Jacob Black**_

 **You're funny, Bella. Good luck tomorrow on your first day, you'll do great.**

 _ **To: Jacob Black**_

 _ **From: Bella Swan**_

 **Thank you! I hope I don't have any more accidents. Thank you for everything today, Jake.**

Once I sent the text message, I hooked my phone up to the charger before getting ready for bed. I hopped back into bed, and set my alarms for tomorrow morning.

I heard one last ding before I fell into unconsciousness.

* * *

When I awoke the next morning to the blaring sound of my alarm I threw my arm over my eyes. After a few minutes of curses and wondering why I signed up for an eight am, I stumbled over to my dresser and grabbed a flannel shirt and jeans.

Luckily, Seattle wasn't warm so I could get away with jeans in the summer. I yanked my phone out of the charger before walking over to sink. I washed my face before I considered make up.

Renee for years had tried to get me to wear make up, but every time I tried it ended up disastrous. I decided to give it a go and settled on a touch of mascara along with eye liner.

I found some cereal, and threw together a bowl. I settled on dry cereal because the fridge hadn't been set up. I found my schedule and closed the door behind me. My first class was a lecture, I was able to get out of most of my Gen Eds because of my classes in High School.

I sprinted to the English building and managed to find a seat in the lecture hall. Before class started, I peered down at my phone. Jake sent me a text late last night.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Jacob Black**_

 **You're welcome, Bella. If you get a chance, come by to La Push.**

 _ **To: Jacob Black**_

 _ **From: Bella Swan**_

 **I will! See you this weekend. Hope you're having a good Monday.**

I turned my phone on silent before class began. The rest of my day passed by seamlessly. When I turned my phone on again after all my classes, I found a flood of texts. A few were from Renee, one was from Lena, and the last one was from Jacob.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Renee Dwyer**_

 **Hope you're having a great day, baby! So proud of you! Call me tonight and tell me all the deets!**

I giggled, mentally noting to call her tonight.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Lena**_

 **Hey girl, hope you're having a great first day. I miss you tons.**

I texted her back quickly before opening up Jacob's.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Jacob Black**_

 **Awesome! Hope you're having a great first day of classes.**

A smile tugged on my lips as I walked into the dining hall after a taxing day. The food was sub-par, but the bright side was I sat with one of the girls from my English class. Her name was Heather, and we talked about the crazy amount of assignments we already had.

After dinner, I went back to my dorm to call Renee.

"Bella!" She shouted as soon as she picked up. I tugged at my ear because the volume was almost painful.

"Hi, Mom," I said, softer than her.

"How's your first day? Did move in go okay? Did you do it all by yourself?" She asked, flooding me with questions.

"I found all my classes, which was a plus. They already assigned us homework, which is fine. Move in was fine, Dad actually sent a couple of guys from La Push to help out," I said, playing with my fingers.

"I bet that was a sight. Were they cute?" Renee asked, excitement boiling in her voice.

"Mom!" I seethed.

"Well, were they?" She asked. Blush heated my cheeks as I bit my lip.

"Jacob and Seth came to help," I said, flopping down on my bed.

"Was Jacob Black the one you made mudpies with?" Renee asked, and I nodded.

"Yep," I said curtly.

"I guess he grew up then. I bet he's cute. But enough about them, how about your classes? Any cute boys in your classes?" Renee asked.

"I wasn't really paying attention to that," I admitted. I was more paying attention to the professor at the front of the room.

"Have you seen your father yet?" Renee questioned.

"I'm going to Forks this weekend to visit him," I responded.

"Oh good, he'll love that. Listen Bella, Phil just came in. I'll talk to you later, okay? I love you, sweetie!" Renee said.

"Love you too, tell Phil I said hi," I said before she hung up. Talking to Renee became easier after living with her for two years. Although when I was younger I always knew I imitated the mother role more than she did.

When I moved to Jacksonville I came to terms with our unconventional relationship. I realized that our relationship resembled a sister relationship than a mother-daughter relationship.

She wasn't into disciplining even though I didn't act like a normal teenager when I moved down there. Instead, she encouraged me to make friends and go out and do things.

One of the first nights I moved down there she advised me that the best way to move on from something was to distract yourself. Someday, she promised, the pain would cease and the memories would be simply memories and no longer excruciating.

Two years later, she was correct. The memories of he and I served as part of a mosaic of my life with him, and nothing more. Renee also encouraged me to go on dates, which was became easier overtime.

The first date I went on after him was excruciating. I went out with a guy named Ken after nearly a year after I settled in Jacksonville. He was nice enough, but I couldn't stop thinking about Edward.

 _"Bella, would you stop fidgeting?" Renee asked as she wrapped another section of hair around the curling wand._

 _"I can't believe I'm doing this," I muttered under my breath as I crossed my arms around my chest._

 _"It's good, baby. You deserve to go out on dates with cute guys," Renee said as she released the section hair from the curling wand. I wasn't sure if she was going to address the elephant in the room._

 _I tried not to let my mind wander to him, and that fateful night at the Italian restaurant in Seattle. I tried to instead focus on Ken instead. Ken was a sweet guy, he was my lab partner in my chemistry class._

 _He came over sometimes to study for tests, but I never put the pieces together that he was into me. One day after chemistry class, he stopped me._

 _"Hey Bella, I was wondering if you'd like to get dinner with me sometime," he said, balancing his binder in one hand. I tucked my binder in closer to my chest._

 _"I can make you dinner after we study for Thursday's test," I said, clearly not catching on. He stifled a laugh before shaking his head._

 _"I meant I could take you out on a date," Ken said, his deep blue eyes meeting mine. Almost immediately, blush heated my cheeks. I looked down at my feet for a moment._

 _Before I could even allow myself to process his question, my lips made the decision for me._

 _"Sure," I blurted out. His answering smile was wide._

 _"Great, how does Saturday sound?" Ken asked._

 _"Great," I answered, nodding my head._

 _When I came home, Renee immediately sensed something was up. After a painful twenty minute session of twenty questions she cracked the case. She assured me that saying yes was the best decision._

 _However, the few days before I had been seriously questioning my sanity._

 _"Bella," Renee called, drawing me out of my thoughts._

 _"Oh sorry, what did you ask?" I said, quickly recovering._

 _"I was about to remind you to breathe and I was asking you what you were planning on wearing," Renee said as she dropped the last section of hair from the curling wand._

 _"Oh umm, I was thinking about a dress and flip-flops," I said, gesturing to my nearly empty closet._

 _"Which one?" Renee asked._

 _"The black one," I said. Renee shook her head before she grabbed my hand._

 _"Where are you going? Church? Do you remember the one I bought you for your birthday?" Renee asked, as she opened my closet door and began thumbing through the rack of clothes._

 _"No," I admitted. She thumbed through a few before yanking a short blue dress from the rack._

 _"I think this would look beautiful on you," she said, handing me the dress. I felt the familiar snowball begin to grow in my throat. Blue, he always liked me in blue._

 _"Blue really isn't my color," I said, my voice breaking._

 _"What are you talking about? Blue is beautiful on you, it's your color," Renee said, raising an eyebrow._

 _"Mom, I just don't like blue," I said, growing irritated._

 _"Try it on," Renee suggested, pushing the dress into my hands. I groaned before running into the bathroom and putting the dress on. It was a simple dress that fell a few inches from my knee. The sleeves covered the tops of my shoulders with lace. The belt came with the dress and fell at my waist._

 _I appraised myself in the mirror and felt a tinge of sadness. Renee knocked at the door a moment later._

 _"Bella, you look beautiful," Renee said, gripping my shoulders._

 _"I don't feel beautiful," I murmured under my breath._

 _"Oh baby, you're so beautiful. Don't let him take that away from you," Renee said, guiding me towards the tub._

 _"I know how much you loved him, sweetie. You have the incredible ability to love people with everything in you and that's a gift. Please don't let one stupid boy make you believe it's a curse," Renee said as she wrapped her arms around me._

 _I felt my lip tremble as tears floated into my eyes. However, none of them fell. Instead, I held on tighter to her for a moment._

 _"I just never know if I'm going to feel that way with anyone ever again," I admitted, peering down at my hands._

 _"You can either live your life in boundaries, or you can spend your life crossing them," Renee said as she kissed my hair._

 _"Maybe it's good you won't feel that way again. Some loves only need to be experienced once, and baby that was yours. You deserve a man who loves you and will stand by you, not a boy who ran away. And you're never going to find that guy if you live your life in a bubble where you can't get hurt," Renee said, as she smoothed hair out of my face._

 _"So go and take a chance, if you fall, big deal," Renee said as she swatted my butt. I got up, at first wobbly. I grabbed my shoes as I heard a knock on the door. I opened the door, and Ken stood in front of me._

 _He grinned as he took me in._

 _"You look beautiful," he said, drawing me in for a brief hug. I looked back at Renee for a moment before I walked down the driveway into his car. We talked in the car about the weather and how hard that chemistry test was._

 _Not once during that ride did he pop in my head. Instead, laughter came easily. He came around to my side of the car when we parked and opened the door for me. I almost forgot what that was like._

 _Once we reached our table in the restaurant, he pulled the chair out for me._

 _"Bella, I don't think you even realized how into you I was," Ken said as he sipped his glass of water._

 _"I didn't even realize it," I admitted, shaking my head._

 _"I just don't understand how a girl like you could be single," he said, shaking his head. I blushed at his comment._

 _"Easily," I chuckled._

 _"When you first came every guy had a thing for you," he said._

 _"Oh that's a lie!" I said._

 _"Oh, it's true, believe me," Ken said._

 _"So where are you from?" Ken asked, before I could reply._

 _"Originally I'm from Forks, but I moved to Phoenix when I was little. Then I moved back to Forks," I answered, playing with my fingers in my lap._

 _"And now you're here. Why did you move here?" He asked. I felt my mouth go dry before I answered._

 _"I spent a year with my Dad, and I got bored. Forks is a really small town and such an adjustment from Phoenix," I said, telling a half-lie. I felt awful for hiding the full truth, but I didn't want him to know about Edward._

 _"That's true, and it must be cold up there. I can't stand the cold and all the rain," he said._

 _"I couldn't take all the rain," I agreed._

 _"So tell me about your family," he said._

 _"Well my Dad lives in Forks. He's the sheriff up there. My Mom now lives here with my step-Dad. My step-Dad coaches baseball now, he used to be in minor leagues," I answered._

 _From there he told me about his family, and we chatted as we waited for our food. After we finished eating, we continued to talk._

 _"Bella, I know you've been holding something back from me, and it's okay," he said as he drove me home._

 _"I know whoever hurt you did a number on you," he said as he turned into my driveway. He helped me out of the car, and I gave him a brief hug before I turned to go up the steps of the house._

 _"Bella!" He called. I turned around and held onto the railing with one hand._

 _"If you ever want to take a chance again, let me know." He said, shooting me a soft smile. I smiled softly at him and nodded my head._

 _"I will," I promised._

I never did. Ken was a great guy, but I didn't feel like dating anyone seriously. He understood, and started dating Lena. They worked so well together and continued to date over the summer of senior year and to my knowledge into their first semester of college.

Ken must have known that it was my first date after a season of healing from a break-up. The excruciating part was learning that it wasn't fair of me to compare every guy to Edward.

I was more in love with the enigma Edward was than who he was actually. He fit perfectly my need for a superman when I was sixteen and seventeen. However, now I knew I needed something more.

I didn't need superman anymore; I wanted a man who was confident in who he was enough so he didn't need to save me. Instead, I wanted a man, not a boy, who wanted to tackle the every day situations.

* * *

Friday came before I knew it. I managed to make a few friends from my classes who offered to hang out with me next week. I pulled out a small duffle bag from my closet and started throwing clothes in there.

Once I finished, I haphazardly threw any textbooks I needed for homework into my backpack. My roommate was already out for the night, which left me alone in the dorm.

I grabbed my car keys before shutting the door behind me. The building was dead quiet, mostly because it was a Friday night. I reached the parking lot and found my car with ease.

I threw my phone in the console, knowing already I didn't need Google maps. I still remembered how to get to Forks. I felt my stomach begin to dance with butterflies as I grew closer to Forks.

Initially I was worried about driving back to Forks, mostly because I was afraid the memories would be too much. I drove past a few meadows, and let a half smile spread across my lips.

I remembered days of laying down in his arms in the meadow. Strangely instead of the memories inciting a familiar ache or tightness in my chest, I breathed with ease. I forgot how green everything was, and rain began to hit my windshield.

I expected to dread or despair to greet me as I grew closer to Charlie's house, in truth I felt peace. My truck was still parked in the driveway along with Charlie's cruiser. The house looked exactly the same as I remembered it. I shut my car door behind me as I walked up the gravel driveway.

I reached the steps and cautiously stepped onto the porch. I poised my hand on the door before knocking loudly on the door.

* * *

 **I have a habit of ending with cliff hangers. Charlie will be a more developed character along with Renee. As always, let me know what y'all think. See you next week!**

 **-Princessinblues**


	4. Little Miss

**Thank you so much for the reviews! In this chapter, we start off with the cliff hanger last chapter! More Jake in this chapter and a little bit of Charlie. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

 _ **Little miss, do your best**_  
 _ **Little miss, never rest**_  
 _ **Little miss, be my guest, I'll make more anytime that it runs out**_  
 _ **Little miss, you'll go far**_  
 _ **Little miss, hide your scars**_  
 _ **Little miss, who you are is so much more than you like to talk about**_

 _ **It's alright, it's alright, it's alright**_  
 _ **Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win**_  
 _ **It's alright, it's alright, it's alright**_  
 _ **It'll be alright again**_  
 _ **It'll be alright again, I'm okay**_  
 _ **It'll be alright again, I'm okay (I'm okay)**_  
 _ **It'll be alright again, I'm okay**_

 _ **Hold on**_  
 _ **Hold on, you are loved**_  
 _ **Are loved...**_

 _ **Little miss, brand new start**_  
 _ **Little miss, do your part**_  
 _ **Little miss, big old heart beats wide open and she's ready now for love**_

 _ **~Little Miss-Sugarland**_

* * *

I could feel my stomach rise to my throat as the door knob rotated. Charlie opened the door seconds later. At first he appraised me before he enveloped me in his arms.

I smelled the familiar smell of Charlie: cheap cologne and musky. I laid my head against his shoulder for a moment, allowing myself to breathe. Seconds later, he released me. He left his hands on my shoulders to look at me for a moment before he cracked a smile.

"Bells, it's so good to see you," he said before he opened the door wider to let me in. The house looked the same, the entry way floor had scattered pairs of boots lining the corners of the wall.

Charlie's hair was grayer than I imagined, and his face was hardened by more wrinkles. The house looked like it hadn't been cleaned other than a single sweep of a broom.

"How have you been?" I asked as I stuck my hands in my jean pockets.

"Good, I've missed you," Charlie admitted gruffly.

"My cooking you mean," I said, correcting him. He let out a deep chuckle.

"I've missed your cooking, but I've missed you too," he said, leading me into the kitchen. As I expected, the kitchen table was covered in dust which meant he resorted to eating on the couch.

On the fridge was a single ripped of notebook sheet of paper with the number of the closest pizza place. The couch and his recliner looked worn with a clear outline of where he sat.

"You look different, Bells," Charlie said.

"Really?" I asked.

"You look like you got some color down there," he said. Jacob had said the same thing when he helped me move everything into my dorm.

"I guess, I did spend a lot of time on the beach." I said, nodding my head.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make it down for your graduation, but I umm...got you a gift," he said, dropping his head. He grabbed a messily wrapped box from the counter.

"Oh Dad, you didn't have to," I said as I played with the box in my hand.

"I had it made for you," he said. I was touched by his kindness as I gently ripped off the wrapping paper. Nestled inside the box was a bracelet with an emerald jewel.

"It's beautiful," I said, admiring it for a moment.

"Can you help me put it on?" I asked, as I reached my wrist out. He nodded as he latched the slim silver band onto my wrist.

"Thank you," I murmured as I drew him in for a hug. He was initially surprised, but hugged me back. Charlie wasn't particularly affectionate, and I adapted that mentality when I stayed with him.

Renee rubbed off on me, and I became more open to acts of affection.

"I asked Jake to make it for you," Charlie admitted as he stuck his hands into his well worn jean pockets.

"I will have to thank him when I see him," I said, smiling at him. Then, I had an idea. I fished around for a moment before I figured I should run to the grocery store for him.

"How about I make you dinner tonight?" I suggested as I looked into his nearly vacant fridge.

"That sounds great, I'm sorry there's not that much food here," he apologized.

"Dad, don't worry about it. It'll be my treat. I'll run down to the grocery store quickly," I said, grabbing my keys off of the counter.

"Okay," Charlie said. I left the house a few minutes later and began the treck to the grocery store. I forgot how everything in Forks was close together, which made the drive less than ten minutes long.

I saw Newton Outfitters as I whizzed by to the grocery store. As I reached the store, I realized how I could still navigate around here with ease. Everything was as I remembered it, down to the fading signs.

I shut my car door before I walked up to to the entrance. I searched around for the meat section and grabbed chicken. I tried to figure out how to grab the spices which were conviently on the top shelf.

Before I could reach up to attempt to grasp one, a hand managed to get there before me. I turned around and was face-to-face with Mike Newton.

"Mike," I said. He grinned impishly at me. He looked older than the last time I saw him and was definetely more filled out.

"Bella! What are you doing here?" He asked with enthuasiasm.

"I'm visiting my Dad," I answered. He handed me the container of spice I was reaching for.

"I thought you moved down to Jacksonville," he said, cocking his head in confusion.

"I did, but I'm now going to Wash U," I said, and he smiled hugely.

"That's awesome, how have you been?" He asked.

"Really good, I missed this place. How have you been?" I asked.

"Good, I'm now the head of Newton's Outfitters," he said.

"Congrats, that's great!" I said.

"Yeah, it's great to see you, Bella. You look great," he said.

"Thanks, Mike. I'll see you around," I said, toying with the spice container in my hand.

"Yeah, let me know if you wanna hang out or something. My number is still the same from High School," Mike said, subtly winking at me. I smiled back at him.

"I will," I said with ease. I knew I was going to run into someone I knew because this was a small town. Forks was small enough that it was more than likely I would see someone I knew at the grocery store.

I walked with purpose to the check out line, making a mental note that they didn't have self check out lines. With my groceries in hand I walked back to my car. The drive back was even shorter than the ride there.

The front door of the house was open.

"Dad, I'm back!" I called as I closed the door behind me. I found him in his usual spot, parked in front of the television watching baseball. I sorted my ingredients before throwing together a simple chicken dish and throwing it into the oven.

I set the timer before sauntering over to the living room. I took a seat on the couch.

"Who's playing?" I asked as I crossed my legs.

"Mariners and Rangers," he replied, fully focused on the television. I knew how intense Charlie got about his sports games so I kept quiet. When I lived with Charlie, I barely even paid attention to the games on television.

After spending time with Phil, my baseball knowledge grew and I even began to like baseball. Charlie seemed to take notice of me actually paying attention to the game. I heard the timer go off sometime later and brought the chicken out of the oven.

"Hey, Dad, dinner's ready," I said, speaking quietly. He nodded and muted the television before walking over to table. I handed him a plate full of his favorite chicken; he looked down and recognition crossed his face.

"You remembered," he said, looking with wonder at me.

"Of course," I said, smiling brightly at him. He sat across from me at the table.

"I didn't know you watched baseball," he commented.

"I ended up going to a lot of minor league games with Phil, so I have an appreciation for baseball now," I said as I cut my chicken.

"That's great, you're not a Marlins fan are you?" Charlie asked.

"Of course not, I'd never betray the Mariners," I laughed.

"Good girl," Charlie said.

"How was your first week of classes?" Charlie asked before he took another bite of food.

"I really liked it, my classes are already hard, but I like them." I answered.

"How's your roommate?" He asked.

"She's nice, we're not in any of the same classes so I don't really see her much," I said before taking a sip of water.

Charlie nodded before taking a sip of beer. After a few minutes of silence, Charlie spoke.

"So Jake and his friends were nice to you?" Charlie asked.

"They were great, I actually managed to hurt myself and Jake basically went into doctor mode," I said, recalling that day.

"What did you do?" Charlie asked.

"I dropped a box on my foot in typical Bella style," I said, shaking my head.

"I'm glad Jake was helpful. He's sure grown a lot since the last time you saw him, he's become a really good guy," Charlie said, taking another sip of beer.

"He's definetely changed, he's filled out. I'll have to thank him again next time I see him," I said.

"Are you planning on going to La Push?" Charlie asked.

"Maybe tomorrow night," I answered.

"That's great, Bells. I'm on duty all day tomorrow," Charlie informed me.

"Okay," I said, making note. We finished dinner sometime later, and I cleaned the dishes and the kitchen. Charlie resumed his position on his chair. I sat down on the couch watching the game with him.

We didn't have to talk, but I could tell Charlie was glad to have me there. This was the first time I actually watched a game with him instead of scurrying upstairs to my room.

A while later the game ended and Charlie informed me that my room was exactly as I left it. I walked up the stairs as memories passed through me. I immediantly caught sight of the rocking chair collecting dust in my room.

Instead of breaking down because of the memories of Edward watching me sleep from that chair, I felt oddly at peace. I sat down on my bed and grabbed an old picture frame from my nightstand.

The picture was of Charlie holding onto my bike as I grinned a toothy smile holding the handle bars. I smiled at the picture before setting it down where I left it. The room looked bare as I laid down.

Charlie knocked on the door moments later.

"Goodnight, Bells. Thanks for coming to see me," he said, clutching the door.

"Of course, Dad. Thanks for having me," I smiled. He let out a smile before closing the door and shutting the light off behind him. As soon as I laid my head down on my pillow, I was out.

* * *

When I awoke the next morning, my eyes didn't have to adjust. I forgot that Forks was mostly overcast if it wasn't raining. While sunshine streaming through my windows was something I grew accustom to in Jacksonville, dull light filtered through the blinds in Forks.

I opened the blinds as I sat up on my bed and saw gray clouds hanging in the sky. My eyes traced to the clock, and I realized it was only seven-thirty. The house was silent, which meant Charlie already left for work.

I walked down the stairs and stumbled into the kitchen. I found a note on the coffee maker.

 _Bells-_

 _I'm on duty right now, but I should be home late tonight. Don't wait up for me. Go out and have some fun._

 _Love you._

 _-Dad_

I chuckled as I read the Charlie's chicken scratch handwriting. I placed the note gently back down before brewing myself coffee. I found an old to-go mug and poured my coffee into there.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I realized I packed a canvas along with my paint set. After throwing together scrambled eggs for breakfast, I retreated back into my room. I threw on a simple loose shirt along with crop jeans and converse. I grabbed my car keys along with an old Mariners ball cap before I left the house.

I drove to La Push beach and parked along the line of grass. As soon as I reached the beach, I found my canvas and paint set in the trunk.

I took off my shoes as soon as I touched the sand and allowed my toes to sink into the sand. I walked up so I was about ten feet from where the waves hit the shore before sitting down.

The beach looked vastly different from Jacksonville beaches, but I appreciated the change. The air felt chilly as the wind cut across my cheeks. The cliffs loomed in the distance as I began to paint the outline of them.

My hair flapped against my shoulders and back as the wind blew. I breathed in the familiar scent of salty sea air before returning my focus towards the canvas. Painting felt different without the sun beating down on me.

In Florida, I would have slapped on a ton of sunscreen, but here sunshine was far and in between.

Sometime later when I began to paint the waves on the canvas, I realized I was no longer alone on the beach. In the distance, I could see a russet colored body. I squinted my eyes in order to try to get a clearer picture of who it was.

"Bella?" A voice called in the distance. I immediantly tensed up, as the figure grew closer. My body relaxed as I realized it was Jacob.

"You scared the crap out of me!" I said, catching my breath. Jacob grew closer to me before he was standing in front of me. I realized seconds later he was shirtless, and tore my eyes from his perfectly toned six pack and turned my focus on his face.

"Do you realize how cold it is?" I asked accusingly. He laughed in response.

"It's not that cold," he said, shrugging.

"You're in cut offs and shirtless! Are you crazy?" I asked, seriously questioning his sanity.

"Nope. Why are you out here so early?" He questioned, his eyebrows knitting in curiousity.

"I like the beach," I answered simply. He shook his head before sitting down next to me.

"When did you get into Forks?" He asked as he put his elbows on his knees.

"Last night, I had dinner with Charlie," I said as I put my brush down.

"Am I bothering you? I didn't realize you were painting," Jacob said, his dark eyes meeting mine.

"Oh no, you're not bothering me at all," I assured him.

"When did you start painting?" Jake asked curiously.

"I started when I moved to Jacksonville," I answered.

"Charlie has never said anything about you being artistic, he says you're a book-worm," Jake said. I laughed before shaking my head. I was an avid reader as a child, I didn't realize he picked up on that.

"I wasn't really artistic, I just decided one day to buy a canvas and start painting," I admitted.

"You're really good," Jake said, smiling crookedly.

"Thank you. So now you know why I'm here, why are you here this early?" I asked.

"That's a fair question, I like to run on the beach," Jake replied.

"Ugh, running," I said, groaning at the idea of physical pain.

"It's not bad actually, I guess you don't run," he said, with a chuckle.

"You saw my lack of balance the other day. Can you imagine me running?" I asked, and he let out a belly laugh.

"You should run with me sometime. I'll whip you right into shape," he suggested.

"That wouldn't be fair to you, it'd be like running with a tortoise," I said jokingly.

"I wouldn't mind, and over time you'd get better." Jake said, as he ran his fingers through the sand.

"Maybe I'll take you up on your offer sometime," I said, leaning back onto the sand.

"Hey, anytime, just shoot me a text. So how was your first week?" He asked.

"Pretty good actually, classes are already difficult," I answered as I put my canvas down in my lap.

"I bet. What classes are you taking?" Jake asked as he kept his gaze on me.

"Intro to Anthropology, English 202, Intro to Linguistics, and Stats," I answered, picturing my schedule in my head.

"Jeez, Bella," Jake said, sounding surprised.

"It sounds worse than it is. It's a mouthful, though," I said. His shoulders shook with laughter.

"What are you up to today?" He asked.

"Charlie is on duty right now, so nothing much," I said, shrugging.

"Do you want to spend the day with me?" Jake asked, and I nodded.

"Yeah, sure," I agreed. Jake let a big grin ease across his lips.

"Awesome, if you want you can follow me back to my house and I can show you some stuff I've been working on," Jake suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," I smiled. I grabbed my canvas and laid it carefully in the second seat of my car before following Jake's Rabbit back to the house. I remembered Billy's house from my childhood.

I stepped out of my car and Jake was already waiting for me.

"Can I get you something to drink?" Jake asked as he walked next to me up the steps.

"A glass of water would be great," I replied as he opened the front door for me. Billy wheeled into the entry way moments later.

"Hey Bella! Your Dad told me you're back in town. How are you?" Billy asked, wheeling himself over to me.

"I'm good, Billy. I'm back for the weekend. How have you been?" I asked.

"I'm making it. So this guy helped you move in, huh?" Billy asked when Jacob reemerged from the kitchen.

"Yep, he and Seth really saved me from breaking my back with all those boxes," I answered with a chuckle. Then I realized the last time Billy saw me was when Sam Uley brought me out of the woods.

I felt my whole body shudder as the memory replayed in the back of my mind.

 _Charlie's expression of fear as he saw Sam Uley emerge from the forest with my shell of a body in his arms. The exchange of glances as Sam Uley handed me over to my father with Billy looking on._

 _I caught for a moment the look on Billy's face, a look of understanding and an undertone of 'I knew this was going to happen.'_

He must have thought I was stupid. To this day my mind went back to prom night when Jake gave me a cryptic warning. _Did Billy know?_

Impossible. He just was very perceptive.

"Bella?" Jake called, hesitantly.

"Oh gosh, I'm sorry, Jake," I apologized, realizing I was in my own world.

"It's okay," he said cautiously. He looked at me like I was a glass doll about to tip over and fall on the ground. He handed me a glass of water before briefly touching my elbow to grab my attention.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked carefully.

"Do you want to check out the garage?" Jake asked.

"Yeah," I said, eager to break the awkwardness. He led me into the garage where two tarp covered cars laid along with two motor cycles.

"Are you a mechanic?" I asked.

"Yeah, I'm going to school right now to get my certification," Jacob answered as he paced around the garage.

"That's awesome, Jake. Do you work on cars in here?" I asked.

"Yeah, do you want to see some?" He asked, excitement clear in his voice. I nodded. He took the tarp off of one of the cars. I immediately recognized it as a Ford Mustang.

Charlie always dreamed about having one of them.

"Is that a '68 Shelby?" I asked as I studied the nearly pristine condition of the mustang. Jake looked at me in awe for a moment.

"Yeah, it is. How did you know?" Jake asked, clearly still in awe that I was able to idenify it.

"Charlie loves mustangs," I replied with a smile as I studied the red paint on the car.

"He taught you well," he said, chuckling.

"It looks great!" I said, complimenting him.

"Aw Bella, you were doing so well. It's a she," he said, correcting me.

"Oh, right," I said, shaking my head. He disappeared underneath the car for a moment.

"Can I get you anything?" I questioned.

"A wrench would be great," he answered, his voice muffled. I looked around for a moment before I located a wrench on the counter of his work station. I placed the wrench gently in his outstretched hand.

As my hand briefly met his I felt immediate electricity. _Must be a fluke._

"When did you start working on cars?" I asked as I leaned against the counter.

"My Dad used to be really into fixing up old cars, but after his accident he couldn't do it much anymore. So I picked it up, my first big success was actually with your truck," Jake replied.

"Oh," I said, hiding my blush. Of course the first car he fixed up was the one I stopped driving.

"Thank you, I really loved it," I murmured. I was fully expecting frustration to bubble over and for him to ask me why I didn't drive it anymore. However, Jacob surprised me.

"I'm glad you liked it," he said. He didn't criticize me or get mad at me for the fact that the truck sat in the driveway almost untouched after my stay in Forks. He didn't press me for why I didn't use it, like I expected him to do.

"So you're a senior, right?" I asked.

"Yep, I take a couple classes at a technical college on the side for my certificate though," he answered.

"That's awesome, so after High School you're going to be a mechanic," I said as I fixed my hair underneath my baseball cap.

"Yeah, I'm excited. I love cars and fixing them," Jake replied. We kept up the small talk for a few hours before Jake decided to take a lunch break.

"If you want I can put some sandwiches together," Jake said as he opened the refridgerator door.

"Or I can take you somewhere to get lunch." Jake offered.

"Sandwiches sound good," I said as I pressed my back against the wall behind me.

"You really had a growth spurt, I can't believe it," I said, marveling at him. He threw a cheeky smile back at me before he resumed making sandwiches.

"That's what everyone tells me," he said shaking his head.

"I bet Harry thinks Seth grew a foot," I said with a chuckle. I hadn't seen Harry since I was a little girl. Jacob grimaced and an awkward moment of silence was observed.

"Charlie didn't tell you?" Jake asked, letting out a gust of air.

"No..." I said hesitantly.

"Bella, Harry died a couple months after you left. Heart attack," Jake explained. I covered my hand with my mouth in mortification.

"Oh my gosh," I murmured.

"I'm so sorry," I said, and he smiled faintly.

"You didn't know, Bella. It's okay. It was a huge loss for all of us," Jake said solemnly.

"I can't imagine...Billy and he were very close," I said, shaking my head.

"They were. It was a huge loss to the whole community," Jake said as he stacked the meat on the sandwich bread.

"How's Sue?" I asked.

"She's getting through it. She's had to raise Seth and Leah pretty much by herself now." Jake answered.

"I'm so sorry, that must be really hard. I'm sorry for your loss, Jake," I said apologetically.

"He was like a second father to me," Jake murmured. I felt a pang in my chest as I watched Jake's eyes fall to the floor.

"I'm so sorry," I said, feeling like the apology wasn't enough.

"It's okay, we're getting through," Jake said as he handed me a plate with a sandwich on it. He led me to the table with two chairs.

"So Charlie tells me that your sister Rachel moved back?" I said, phrasing it more like a question.

"Yep, she moved back this summer after finishing her nursing degree," Jake replied.

"Does she live in La Push?" I asked.

"Yeah, she just moved in with her boyfriend, Paul." Jake answered.

"Oh, wow. Isn't Paul one of your friends?" I asked. Charlie had mentioned Jake started to hang out with Sam and his posse.

"Yeah, he is. He's gotten a lot easier to be around since he impri...I mean started dating Rach," he said, correcting himself without missing a beat.

"How long have they been dating?" I asked.

"Since two weeks after she came back," Jake replied.

"Oh wow. Talk about love at first sight," I murmured shaking my head. Jake immediately stiffened before he looked at me for a moment. His eyes reflected a foreign expression.

I couldn't idenify the deep expression his eyes held as they met mine.

However, I shrugged it off, figuring it was just me being silly.

"Yeah, I guess," he said after a long moment. The subject switched to Jake catching me up on everything I'd missed since I moved to Jacksonville. He talked about Billy and how his mobility had continued to decrease.

It was obvious to see Jake's love and admiration for his father. His dedication to helping his father along with taking care of his sister had me completely enamored.

"I can clean up," I offered as I carefully placed his plate on top of mine.

"You're the guest," he reminded.

"I know, but I really don't mind. Renee teases me because I love doing dishes," I said, a smile crossing my lips as I remembered Renee constantly bragging about her easy life of parenting because I took over chores.

He grinned as he shook his head.

"If you really want to, you're welcome to. I just feel like an ass," Jake admitted.

"Don't, I like it. Besides, you made lunch, consider it even," I said as I edged my way to the sink.

"There's a bonfire tonight, I don't know if you wanna stay for it or not. I mean sometimes it's kinda lame, they talk about legends and stuff, but it'd be really great if you would come," Jake said, fidgeting slightly.

I started to lay the sponge against the plastic plate as I thought for a moment.

"I like listening to legends. I'd love to learn more, I really don't know much about this area or your traditions," I said. La Push was very different from Forks, and my knowledge was lacking because I hadn't spent that much time in La Push.

"Okay, awesome. They're making hot dogs and burgers if you're okay with that," Jake said as I handed him the plate to put away.

"Absolutely," I assured him. He smiled widely at my answer. As soon as I finished cleaning the dishes, Jake asked me what I wanted to do next. I peeked over at the clock, which read it was a little after one.

"Do you wanna walk along the beach again?" I asked warily.

"Yeah, I'd like that," Jake said.

We drove in his Rabbit over to the beach. He waited as I got out of the car before we started walking along the beach.

"Do you know what's funny?" Jake asked.

"What?" I asked as I kicked up a little sand under my feet.

"You've kept talking about how much I've changed since you saw me, but you've changed too," Jake said as he stuck his hands in his worn jean pockets.

"I guess I have," I mused.

"I grew up a lot," I said, realizing the magnitude of how much I'd grown. I wasn't the damsel in distress waiting in her tower for the call of Prince Charming to come save her.

Instead, I got down from the tower and saved myself by allowing others to love me again.

"You're a different girl from that night at prom, or when I saw Sam bring you out of the forest." Jake looked over at me for a brief moment before continuing.

"You're don't hide behind your own shadow anymore. I don't think I've ever seen you actually smile until now," Jake admitted.

"I've smiled," I retorted.

"It's never reached your eyes. When Charlie talked about you, he made you sound like a glass doll. But you're not." Jake stopped for a minute to look out into the waves.

"I know I don't know you well enough yet, Bella, but I want to. And I want you to know, I'm never going to push you to talk about what happened but I want you to know I'm here.

"It's corny as hell, but it's true." Jake looked at me longingly for a moment. My eye brows furrowed together for a moment.

"And you don't have to be anything but yourself around me. I've seen those gears shifting in your head all day, and I want you to know that I want to be a part of your world.

"And that part is completely up to you," Jake said almost passionately. I took a moment as I cleared my throat. I waited for the snowball to come up, or a tightness in my throat.

I didn't feel either. Instead, I opened my lips to prepare for the words to come spilling out.

"Friends?" I asked, a cautious smile brooding across my lips.

* * *

 **I know, another cliffie! But I hope you enjoyed more Jake this chapter! Tell me what you think!**

 **-Princessinblues**


	5. The Day You Stop Looking Back

**Thank you for all the reviews! I was disappointed in the lack of reviews for last chapter. I'd like to address a few. Jake hasn't told Bella the full truth yet for good reason. I promise it's not an oversight, and there is a reason why he isn't telling Bella everything.**

 **For one, they just reconnected. He doesn't want to totally freak her out. Don't worry, that's not the main reason; that reason will be revealed in due time.**

 **This chapter has more Jacob, a dash of Charlie, and Bella finally meeting the pack!**

 **As always, let me know what you think by leaving me a review!**

* * *

 _ **Stop starin' at the rear view**_  
 _ **You ain't checkin' your hair**_  
 _ **That wheel has spun and them lights are out**_  
 _ **There ain't nothin' for you back there**_  
 _ **Stop holdin' on so dang tight, 'bout time you let go**_  
 _ **Well he's a heart breakin', let you down son of a gun**_  
 _ **But I ain't sayin' nothin' you don't know**_  
 _ **Well**_

 _ **The day that you stop lookin' back**_  
 _ **You're gonna find that the future**_  
 _ **Sure beats the hell outta the past**_  
 _ **Now he ain't no good**_  
 _ **I guess he's good as gone**_  
 _ **The day you stop lookin' back, girl yeah**_  
 _ **Is the day you start movin' on, yeah, yeah, yeah**_

 _ **That sun's gonna come up**_  
 _ **It's gonna feel good**_  
 _ **And after all the rain and pain you've seen**_  
 _ **I hope you soak it up like you should**_  
 _ **Now and then it's gonna stir up**_  
 _ **But when you hear that old song**_  
 _ **But don't let it get to ya baby**_  
 _ **It's only three and a half minutes long**_

 ** _~The Day You Stop Looking Back-Thomas Rhett_**

* * *

Jake's lips turned upwards to form a smile as he nodded.

"Absolutely," he agreed. The same expression on his face earlier when I commented on love at first sight reflected in his eyes. I walked over to him before I wrapped my arms around him as he pressed his face into my hair.

He held on for a moment longer than I anticipated. When he pulled away, he paused for a moment to look at me before we resumed our small talk.

* * *

Once we finished our walk on the beach, we rode back to his house. Billy was out fishing for the rest of the day until the bonfire.

"Rach just called me and asked if we could come over to help her," Jake said, looking from his cell phone to meet my gaze.

"Absolutely, what does she need help with?" I asked as he grabbed the keys from the counter.

"She freaks out over everything, so I imagine just set up for tonight," Jake said with a shrug.

"Having a lot of people over is stressful, so it's understandable," I said as we piled into his Rabbit.

"We're gonna have to run to the grocery store if that's okay," Jake said as his hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, the only sound was the faint rumble of an ACDC song on the radio.

"Why did you choose English?" Jake asked, and my eyebrows furrowed together as I thought for a moment.

"Renee used to always say I had my nose in a book when I was a little girl. Books gave me an escape, and I love analyzing characters and stuff. I'm a huge dork," I admitted, my cheeks turning the color of strawberries.

"I remember you always red _Little Women_ or some big book while I was still reading the _BOB_ books." Jake said with a chuckle.

"You remember that?" I whispered in amazement.

"Yeah, I remember you always had a book in your hands," Jake said, smiling and shaking his head seemingly lost in a memory.

"I moved around a lot between Charlie and Renee so books were always constant," I admitted, shrugging. Jake stared at me for a moment, blinking a few times trying to process my statement.

Blush heated my cheeks as I realized I said that out loud instead of it remaining part of my internal diologue. I peered down at my fingers in my lap in embarassment.

"I'm really sorry, Bella," Jake said finally with tenderness.

"It's okay, I'm sorry I blurted it out," I murmured.

"No, I'm glad you did. That must have been really hard," Jake said, diverting his attention from the road for a moment to look at me.

"It's the way it is, sometimes two people just aren't meant to be together," I said with a shrug. I realized the gravity of that seemingly simple fact. Renee and Charlie were night and day; Renee loves to travel and gets stir crazy while Charlie prefers solitude.

"What's your mom like?" Jake asked.

"She's unique," I said, choosing my words carefully. He shot me a look that signaled for me to continue.

"She and Charlie are night and day. She loves to travel and gets restless if she stays somewhere too long. She's a social butterfly and loves adventures and is a dare-devil. One time she went sky-diving for her birthday," I admitted.

"She lives down in Jacksonville?"

"Yeah, she lives there with her husband, Phil." I replied.

"It sounds like you and her are polar opposite," Jake commented.

"Yeah, sometimes I think I'm the parent," I laughed.

"She was always encouraging me to act like a normal teenager when I was down there," I added.

"What did you do in Florida?"

"For the first few months I barely left my room for anything other than school. Then I made a few friends at school, and eventually started to return to this planet. I started painting when I was down there and tutored a lot," I answered before biting my lip.

Jake's eyes softened along with the corners of his mouth curving downwards into a frown. While my mind went back to those dark months, I refused to let myself feel the snowball against my throat.

Instead I took a deep breath before I spoke again.

"Then, I found a few incredible friends who helped me get back on my feet again. I started painting in school and spending more time with my Mom. I went to my friends' recietals and actually started living again," I said with a smile brimming on my lips.

Allowing myself to move on was the best decision I ever made. With the help of Lena and our group of friends, I gradually began to learn how to live without Edward. I learned how to break an addiction, a near obsession with him.

By surrounding myself with people who encouraged me and loved me I learned that love takes many forms. The love I had for Edward was unhealthy, all consuming and caused me to abandon my loved ones in order for an invitation into his world.

An invitation that never came, and he couldn't join mine.

"That was a long time ago though," I added, breaking the uncomfortable silence. Jake opened his mouth and then promptly closed it. His eyes shined with an expression of sympathy.

"I'm so sorry, Bella," Jake said, emphasizing each word. I peered down at my clasped hands in my lap.

"It's okay, I'm actually really glad it happened."

As he processed my statement, his eyes furrowed in confusion.

"Without that happening, I would have left everything and everyone to be with him. I would be utterly consumed by him in every way, and the center of my world would be him." I said.

I couldn't believe I was saying all this, but with Jake it was easy. Lena had lectured me about letting people in before I left for college, which I badly needed. Letting people in was always a struggle for me because I never let my walls down.

The only exception was Edward, and when he left those walls grew higher than they were before. However, letting Lena in was the first step in allowing others in. After a while, it became easier to talk about difficult topics.

Jake looked at me in awe for a moment before he replied.

"Bella, you're amazing," Jake said as we pulled into Rachel's driveway. The house was a small one story white house situated on about three acres of land. There was a old pick up truck along with an older sedan also in the driveway.

Jake cut off the engine before he came around and opened the door for me.

"Thanks," I murmured. His gesture was foreign to me, it had been a long time since a man opened the door for me. Jake walked beside me as we walked up the short two steps onto the porch.

He knocked on the door loudly before the boom of men's voices filtered through the door. A woman in her twenties with hair that reached to her mid back answered the door.

Jake immediately embraced her before he pulled away.

"Bella, this is Rachel. Rachel, this is Charlie Swan's daughter, Bella," Jake said, as Rachel's eyes met mine.

"Hi, Bella, it's good to see you again. I haven't seen you since we were kids," Rachel said, reaching her hand out for a hand shake.

"Hi, Rachel," I said, returning her hand shake. Rachel looked over me like she was analyzing every inch of me. Self consciously I pulled on the hem of my shirt. I decided to break the awkward silence.

"What can I help you with?" I asked smiling hopefully at her. Her expression immediantly changed to contentment.

"Are you a good cook?" Rachel asked calculatively.

"Yeah," I said. I was responsible for every meal at Charlie and Renee's houses when we didn't get carry-out.

"Great, you can help me with the salad and barbeque," she said, guiding me through a hallway into the kitchen.

"Jake, the guys are out back!" Rachel shouted over her shoulder. Jake disappeared from the house, and two other girls were with me in the kitchen.

"Bella, it's so good to finally meet you, I'm Emily," a young woman in her early twenties said. I looked away from the side of her face etched in a frown by scars and focused on the warmth in her voice.

"Hi, Emily," I greeted. She embraced me for a moment to my surprise.

"I'm Sam's wife," she added. I bit my lip in embarassment; her husband was the one who found me in the forrest that day. The other girl about my age stepped forward from her place leaning against the counter.

She had long raven colored hair and was easily five or six inches taller than me. She was beautiful in a non traditional way.

"I'm Kim, Jared's girlfriend," she said, hesitantly reaching her hand forward for a hand shake. I returned her handshake.

"It's so nice to meet you, I'm Bella," I said, smiling at her.

"So you're Charlie's girl?" Emily asked.

"Yep, I'm visiting him this weekend," I said, sticking my hands in my pockets.

"Jake tells me you're going to school in Seattle, how are you liking it?" Rachel asked as she took chicken out of the small fridge.

"I just finished my first week of classes and so far I'm liking it," I answered. She pursed her lips after she placed the chicken on the counter while studying me.

"You spent some time in Florida?" Rachel asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I lived in Jacksonville for a few years with my Mom," I answered.

"You're with your Dad for the weekend?" Rachel asked.

"I haven't seen him in a while, so I figured it was time. It's not a terribly long drive out here," I said. I was trying to decipher her interrogation.

"Rach, let the poor girl breathe," Emily said, cutting in. Emily threw me a smile before she turned to Rachel.

"You can interrogate her more after we're done cooking," Emily said, correcting her. Rachel nodded before she turned to me.

"I'm sorry about that. Do you mind checking on the barbeque in the oven and marinating the chicken?" Rachel asked.

"Absolutely," I smiled at her.

"I'll help her," Emily volunteered. Rachel took Kim out of the kitchen in order to set and prepare the table.

"So Jake tells me that you're going to Washington," Emily said as she began to prepare the rub for the kitchen.

"Yeah, I'm a first year. I just started this week actually," I replied while peeking into the oven to eye the pork.

"How are you liking it?" Emily questioned.

"I really like it so far," I answered.

"Any idea of what you want to study?" Emily asked as she gestured for me to start to put the rub on the kitchen.

"Hopefully English, I may also do the Education program so that I can teach," I answered.

"Oh really? That's great, what age do you want to teach?"

"I like high-schoolers the best."

"You're a brave girl, teenagers are my least favorite," Emily said with a chuckle.

"They're endearing in their own way. They're hilarious, too," I replied. When I was in Florida I spent some time tutoring kids in middle and high school. I never considered teaching prior to that experience mostly because I didn't like kids.

"It takes a special person to teach that age group," Emily mused.

"Congrats on your wedding, by the way," I said, changing the topic. She looked absentmindedly down at the diamond on her left hand and smiled.

"Thanks, it feels so weird," Emily admitted.

"Being married?"

"Yes, we had such a long engagement period and now it finally happened," Emily said.

"I'm so happy for you," I smiled brightly at her.

"Thank you, Bella. I think this is the first time we've officially met, but I've heard a lot about you."

"From Billy?" I said, guessing.

"Some from him, but from Jake too," Emily said.

"Hopefully good things?" I said somewhat teasingly.

"Yes, of course!" Emily assured me. I remembered I had to thank Sam for saving me that day at the forest. I anxiously awaited the snowball to arise in my throat or my throat tightening.

"I have to thank your husband, Sam, for finding me in the forest that day," I said with uneasiness. The words slipped off of my tongue easily enough. She looked out the window for a moment while she collected her thoughts.

Recognition flashed across her face.

"Oh, Bella, you don't have to. He'd do it again in a heartbeat. His job is to protect people," Emily said, grabbing my hand gently.

"Still, I know I didn't thank him properly and I was in a rough place," I said, making sure I said my words carefully.

"We all have bad days and rough patches," Emily reminded.

"Cut yourself a break sometimes, okay? I can see that you're wound up," Emily said softly, but her words held power.

"I'm just a little nervous," I admitted.

"Why are you nervous?" Her eyes grew soft as she asked. _Remember it's okay to let people in. It's okay to let people know how you're feeling._ Lena's words echoed in my head like boomerangs.

"I'm trying to make a good impression and considering the way I acted back then," I said, closing my eyes for a moment. Emily pursed her lips for a moment before I felt her arms around me.

"Oh Bella, no one blames you for that. Heartbreak is a pain like no other," Emily assured me.

"I'm sorry for word vomiting there," I said. She shook her head before she squeezed me gently.

"Don't apologize, I like listening. I know you don't know me that well, but if you ever need to get away for a weekend let me know." She said soothingly. I was at a loss for words at her kindness.

"Thank you," I murmured.

"I know Rachel was hard on you tonight, but she's just protective of her little brother. She pratically raised Jake after their mother died," Emily remarked as we put the chicken in the oven.

"Oh my gosh, I didn't realize that. Poor girl...She's done a great job raising him. He's such a sweet guy," I said in surprise.

"Rach is just a handful sometimes. She means well, and I'm sure she'll warm up to you in time," she assured me.

"She's looking out for her brother, I understand."

"You're also the first girl Jake has ever brought home," Emily mused. Wait, did I hear her right? Did Rachel think Jake and I were dating?

"We're friends," I said. Jake and I agreed on friendship. She looked uneasy as she took in my statement. I felt my eye brows furrow together in utter confusion. Did she think...?

"Absolutely, she's just being a sister," Emily said, clarifying her earlier statement. It slipped my mind that Rachel's duty was to protect her little brother, and I could understand. While I didn't have any siblings, I could sympathize with feeling protective of someone.

"Of course," I agreed. Before Emily could speak again, Rachel and Kim burst into the room.

"How's the barbecue?" Rachel asked, not missing a beat.

"Ready, just waiting on the chicken," I answered as she let a satisfactory smile sweep across her face.

"Great, just bring it outside when you're ready." Rachel said, eyeing me carefully. Emily followed behind me as I brought the chicken out of the oven. I grabbed a plate before bringing the chicken outside.

All the boys were outside talking and cracking open beers. I could see Jake sitting next to Sam on the porch. Rachel took the chicken out of my hands and laid it on the table designated for food.

Emily trailed behind me with the pork. I zoomed in on Jake and Sam who seemed to be having a serious conversation. Next, I looked farther on the small lawn where a little girl played with a burly man, not much younger than Jake.

Kim stayed glued to another man's sad as he held onto her hand.

"Dinner!" Rachel shouted. Immediately, the boys gravitated toward the food. They all took their places at the picnic tables. Jake found my side as I walked over to the table where Emily was sitting.

Beside her was the little girl who had been playing in the yard. She adorned two black thick pigtails and a pink dress. The same older man sat beside her. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, but I figured there was an explanation.

Sam's eyes met mine for a minute as recognition flashed across his face.

"Bella," he greeted.

"Hi, Sam," I said, trying my best to muster a smile.

"So you just moved from Jacksonville?" Sam asked as he took a bite of his barbeque.

"Yeah, just this past week. Sam and Seth were a huge help with moving in," I said. Jake grinned beside me.

"I'm glad, I hear you're going to Washington," Sam said curtly.

"I'm a freshman," I added.

"And you're out here visiting Charlie," Sam assumed.

"Yep, I came and visited him for the weekend. He's out fishing today, so I decided to hang out with Jake," I remarked.

"Did Jake show you his car collection?" Emily asked, cutting in.

"He did, it's really impressive," I grinned.

"She even guessed the model and the year of the car!" Jake said excitedly. Emily gave me a thumbs up while Sam laughed.

"She is Charlie's daughter," Sam reminded Jake.

"I know, but it doesn't make it any less awesome," Jake said.

"Is this your first time back?" Emily asked curiously.

"It is, I haven't been to Forks or La Push since I moved," I replied. I picked at the chicken on my plate while Jake forked his down like he was a vaccum cleaner.

"I'm gonna go get seconds, Bella, do you want anything?" Jake asked, turning to me before he got up.

"I'm okay, thanks though. You plowed right through that!" I said, marvelling at his appetite.

"These boys eat like there's no tomorrow. It's almost impossible to keep up with their appetites," Emily said, shaking her head.

"I can imagine, they have incredible appetites," I agreed, looking at Sam's empty plate.

"Welcome to Rach, Kim, and my daily struggle," Emily laughed.

"Hey! You love us," Sam reminded, elbowing her gently. She rolled her eyes as Jake came over with another plate full of food and assumed his spot beside me. Rachel strolled over to our table, her eyes watching me like a hawk. I shifted nervously in my seat at her gaze.

"Bella and Emily, thank you for helping out with the food," Rachel said.

"It was mostly Bella, I just helped," Emily said, smiling at me. I blushed as I shook my head.

"Charlie always boasts how good of a cook Bella is," Jake said, cutting in. Rachel pursed her lips before nodding.

"The chicken is good," Rachel agreed apprehensively.

The little girl's gaze met mine, she and the older man had been in their own little world while the rest of us were talking.

"My name is Claire, what's yours?" She asked.

"It's nice to meet you, Claire, my name is Bella," I smiled at her.

"Do you wanna come play with me?" She asked, her eyes holding excitement.

"Sure!" I agreed. She pratically lept from her place at the table and grabbed my pinky eagerly as she walked me out into the lawn.

"I brought my doll, Jenny," she said as she picked up her doll that looked exactly like her.

"Oh, she's very pretty and looks just like you," I said as I squatted down to her level.

"I sleep with her every night. I'm her mommy," she remarked as she ran a hand through her doll's hair.

"I bet you're a great mommy to her," I said, smiling at her.

"Are you a mommy?" She asked. I laughed before I shook my head.

"No, I'm not. I hope to someday be," I said. When I was with Edward, I had no desire to be a mother. If I spent forever with him, a child wasn't part of the equation. If I was with him, any shot of a human life or human experiences were lost.

When I was in Jacksonville, I tutored kids of all ages. I grew an appreciation for kids, something I never imagined. I saw the beauty of them, how their minds worked, how innocent they were...

And I saw how loveable they were, and suddenly being a mother didn't seem so abhorrent anymore.

"You'll be a good mommy," she smiled at me. At her words, my heart stitched together further.

"Thank you, miss Claire. I hope to be as good of a mother as you are to Jenny," I smiled. From there on, we played hide and go seek.

"I came over here to tell you that we're going to be around the fire in a few minutes," Rachel said, gesturing to us the growing bonfire behind us. Rachel strolled over to me and Claire. Claire greeted her enthuastically.

"Thank you for helping out tonight," Rachel said, her smile seemed forced.

"Absolutely, anytime," I assured her. Claire was tugging on my hand impatiently.

"Up," she said. I looked down at her for a moment before she opened her arms. I managed to hold her on my side, pleased that she wasn't too heavy.

"Okay great, I'll be over there in a few minutes," I said, as I walked with Claire in my arms over to the growing bonfire. Claire sat next to me and Emily, with the older man on the other side of her.

Jake came over a few minutes later and sat beside me.

"So we usually tell legends, from old Quil, who is Quil's grandfather," Jake said softly.

"Where's Quil?" I asked.

"Quil is sitting next to Claire. I'll introduce you two," Jake said. Jake grabbed Quil's attention.

"Hey Bella, I've heard a lot about you, I'm Quil," Quil said, sticking out his hand for a shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Quil." I smiled back at him. Old Quil came over to the large adorondak chair. Old Quil cleared his throat and the whole crowd grew silent.

"It happened long ago that Q'waeti' journeyed all over the land setting the people aright and instructing the people that would come in the future how they should act. Q'waeti' instructed the people how to build houses," Old Quil said, his voice deep and powerful.

"One day Q'waeti' came upon Beaver. Beaver was sharpening his stone knife, and Beaver was very stingy. Q'waeti' asked what was Beaver doing. Whereupon Beaver said: 'I am sharpening my knife in order to kill Q'waeti',said Beaver. Then Q'waeti' took what Beaver was sharpening and stuck it on Beaver's tail. Then he said: 'You shall always have this stuck to your tail, and live in the water. You will just slap the water with your tail and dive when the people come.'" Old Quil said, intertwining his hands in his lap.

"Then one day he came upon Deer. Deer was sharpening his shell knife. Thereupon Q'waeti' asked Deer what was he sharpening it for. Whereupon Deer said: 'I am going to kill Q'waeti',' said Deer. Then Q'waeti' seized the shell that Deer was sharpening. Then he stuck it on Deer's ears. He said "When you see people you shall run frightened and stop, and look back.' Then Q'waeti' went on his way."

He cleared his throat before he continued. There was a brief pause, and then Old Quil continued.

"Not long afterward he reached Q'wayi't'soxk'a River. But he did not find any people. Then Q'waeti' spit on his hands and rubbed them. Doing this he rubbed off the human dead skin into the water. Thereupon many people appeared. Then Q'waeti' said to the people whom he had made: 'you shall dwell here,' said Q'waeti'. 'Your name shall be Q'wayi't'sox.'"

"Then Q'waeti' reached the Hoh people. He saw that these people walked on their hands carrying their smelt nets between their legs. At that time all the Hoh people walked on their hands. They were called the Up-side-down people. Since that time the Up-side-down people were known as the first people who had existed. Then Q'waeti' turned right side up the ones who walked on their hands. 'You shall use your feet to walk," said Q'waeti' to the former Up-side-down people. 'Go and fish smelt. You shall catch much fish when you fish smelt.' Ever since then there is much smelt at Hoh."

Beside me, Claire began to close her eyes. She leaned up against Quil as she began to doze off. Jake moved his attention from Old Quil as he looked at me for a moment.

"Then Q'waeti' went on and reached the Quileute land. He saw two wolves. There were no people here. Then Q'waeti' transformed the wolved into people. Then he instructed the people saying: 'The common man will have only one wife. Only a chief may have four or eight wives. For this reason you Quileute shall be brave, because you come from wolves,' said Q'waeti'. 'In every manner you shall be strong.'"

I felt Jake's gaze flicker from Old Quil to me, probably making sure I was still awake. Old Quil's voice reminded me of a deep baritone as it echoed through the crackling of the wood.

"Then Q'waeti' reached the Ozette people (Makah.) There he saw two dogs. Then he transformed the dogs into people. Then Q'waeti' gave instructions to the people how to search around the rocks for devil-fish, and to get all kinds of sea food. Then Q'waeti' went he came to the Neah people. He saw many people. The people did not know how to fish. So, the Neah people were hungry, about to perish"

"Then Q'waeti' instructed one person how they should fish. Q'waeti' instructed them how to troll when trying to fish. Ever since then there is much fish in Neah Bay. When Q'waeti' finished he said that there would be much fish at Neah Bay."

"Then Q'waeti' went on setting aright and creating people, going around the land, and instructing them in what they should do in order to subsist." Old Quil spoke with vigor and enthusiasm as he finished the legend.

He told a few more legends before Jake and Rachel walked to the house. After a while, I went back to the house and went to the restroom. I could here Jacob's voice along with Rachel's bickering.

"You don't even know her," Jake said, anger evident in her tone.

"From what I've noticed she is, Jake. But what happens when that leech comes back?" Rachel retorted.

"She's different now, she's happier. She's driven and she's chasing after her dreams. She's amazing, Rach, and I wish you would get past your bias to actually get to know her," Jacob said. My eyes grew wide as I realized they were talking about me.

"You're forgetting that this is her choice. It takes two to both complete it," Rachel said, her voice full of warning.

"I'm making sure she makes her choice, when she wants to." Jake said.

"She's damaged goods, Jake. A part of her heart will always belong to someone else. Billy told me she was pratically a walking zombie, almost catonic," Rachel said. I could feel my heart tug in my chest at her words.

However, tears didn't blur my vision. Instead, I was frustrated.

"She's so smart, Rach. She's not a little girl anymore, she's a woman. A woman who deserves a chance, and you're not giving her one."

"She's not a 'zombie' anymore, she's bubbling with life, and besides we all have wounds and scars. None of us are perfect, Rach. And you've been a bitch to her tonight when she's been nothing but nice to you." Jake said, with frustration in his voice.

"So get off your damn high-horse. Let's not forget your Paul isn't exactly a cookie cutter perfect man." Jake said, in a accusatory tone. I felt so guilty for listening in on their conversation.

"I know you're doing the honorable thing of waiting for her, but I'm just trying to give you a reality check." Rachel said.

"I appreciate your kindness, but I'm fine. I can't believe how awful you've been to her tonight, you pratically treated her like she was crap. And she's not, she's incredible. So let me know when you're off your holier than thou stage and want to join planet Earth again," Jake said, walking out.

I retreated out as Rachel called after him. I was expecting to turn into a puddle of tears, or break down.

The girl I was two years ago would have broken down with Rachel's words.

Yet, I walked back to the circle with determination. I wasn't the girl Rachel described, she was long gone. Instead, I was a woman, who would use the weapon of kindness.

Kindness because I had been broken, and I wouldn't allow myself to break someone else in the way I had been. Heartbreak was a cruel teacher, but ultimately formed me into the woman I always dreamed of being.

The woman I dreamed of being wasn't the girl who would allow someone's words to break them again, and wouldn't stoop down to her level. Rachel was looking out for her brother, and I understand.

I was damaged goods, but now I was the woman that overcame. The woman who picks her own flowers instead of waiting for someone else to bring me a bouquet, the woman who brings sunshine without waiting for the sun to be out.

Jake had stood up for me, and that alone meant so much to me. I could feel my heart beat faster in my chest as Jake walked back to me. His anger was gone, and Rachel joined a moment later looking defeated.

I smiled softly at her from across the fire. She didn't reciprocate, but I was fine with that. I knew that if she knew me better, whenever she decided she wants to, her preconceptions of me would change.

I was fine with waiting, and would continue to give her chances.

People deserve second chances, and I knew this more than anything.

* * *

 **So the Quileute legend I had in there is legit. However, it's from Manuel Andrade's 1930 collection _Quileute Texts._ When I was researching legends, it turns out Stephenie Meyer completely made up the whole 'Cold Ones.' However, the wolves' origin legends are completely legit. **

**So what did y'all think of Rachel? I can relate to her, being an older sister myself. I'm tough on who my brothers date, haha. What do you think of Jake and th _is_ stronger Bella?**

 **Let me know by leaving me a review :)**

 **Until next time!**

 **-Princessinblues**


	6. Fly

**Wow, thank you all for the reviews! I made sure to reply to as many of them as I can. I loved hearing your input on Rachel's behavior to Bella, and what that could mean for further down the line.**

 **Let me know again what y'all think by leaving me a review!**

* * *

 _ **Searching for a sign in the night even like a lonely string of light**_  
 _ **That'll burn just long enough for you to see it**_  
 _ **The road's been long and lonely and you feel like giving up**_  
 _ **There's more to this than just the breath you're breathing**_

 _ **So keep on climbing, though the ground might shake**_  
 _ **Just keep on reaching though the limb might break**_  
 _ **We've come this far, don't you be scared now**_  
 _ **'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down**_

 _ **On the way down**_

 _ **You won't forget the heavy steps it took to let it go**_  
 _ **Close your eyes, count to ten, hold your breath and fly**_

 _ **Keep on climbing, though the ground might shake**_  
 _ **Just keep on reaching though the limb might break**_  
 _ **We've come this far, don't you be scared now**_

 _ **'Cause you can learn to fly on the way down**_

 _ **~Fly-Maddie and Tae**_

* * *

After a few more legends around the campfire, the night began to wind down. Jake shook me gently from my stupor as he held out his hand in case I needed help getting up.

"Thanks, Jake," I said as I took his hand and rose up from my spot on the ground. Quil held a sleeping Claire in his arms. I gave her a quick kiss on her forehead, and Quil shot an appreciative smile at me.

Emily wrapped an arm around her husband as she approached me.

"Bella, it was so nice to meet you. I'd love to get your number if that's okay, you can always come and crash under my roof if you need to get away from campus," Emily said, her voice full of enthusiasm.

I could see how sincere Emily was, and that was refreshing. Emily gave kindness without any expectation of repayment. She seemed like the mothering type.

I hoped my eyes shined as much appreciation as my heart did for her kindness.

"Emily it was great to meet you. Absolutely, you're so kind to offer," I said as I reached in my jean pocket for my phone. We exchanged numbers with Sam and Jake looking on.

Sam cleared his throat before he spoke to me.

"Bella, it was good to see you again. I hope we see you more in the future," Sam said, half smiling at me. I could decipher he was stoic most of the time, and wasn't a man of many words.

"Thank you, Sam. I plan on it," I said, assuring him. Emily gave me a brief hug before she and Sam began to walk to their car. Jake led me inside where Rachel was busy cleaning up.

"Rachel, do you need any help?" I asked as we walked into the kitchen. She turned around from her place at the sink, and wrapped up cleaning the dish.

"I think I'm okay, thanks though," she said quickly.

"Thank you so much for having me tonight, I had a great time. It was wonderful to meet you," I said, and I saw her freeze as she went back to cleaning dishes.

"You're welcome, Bella. I'm glad you had a good time," Rachel said, remaining with her back towards me. I could see her look behind me in order to see her brother. She gnawed on her lip nervously.

"I hope to see you soon," I said. She smiled hesitantly at me before she gave Jake a scowl.

"Me too." She said with enunciation. I gave her one last wave before Jake and I walked out the front door. I saw Sam on the porch, and without thought called his name.

He turned to me with surprise evident in his expression.

"Thank you for bringing me out of the woods two years ago," I said, finally allowing myself peace. Sam's face warped into a close lipped smile.

"Of course, Bella," he said, nodding his head. Jake and I resumed our walk to his Rabbit. As soon as I was in the car and the door was closed, he began to apologize.

"I'm sorry about how Rachel treated you tonight," Jake said, his intense gaze meeting mine.

"Don't apologize, it's okay," I said. Rachel was being an older sister and looking out for her little brother. Although her words were hurtful, I knew there wasn't truth to them.

I wasn't damaged goods, or on the clearance aisle because of what happened two years ago. I handled the situation poorly, by strictly operating of emotional autopilot when I should have told someone.

However, that was all past.

"It's not okay, she was awful to you. How can you be okay with how she treated you?" Jake asked, disbelief coloring his tone.

"She's being an older sister who loves you very much. I'm not going to say I'm okay with the way she treated me, but I understand." I said before I took a deep breath.

"She's treating me based on who she thinks I am, and I plan on being me, and hopefully she'll change her tune," I added. Jake looked stunned for a moment before he pursed his lips.

"I don't understand," he said, clearly still in shock.

"Jake, I believe in second chances. And third chances. And crossing oceans for people, even when they won't cross a puddle for you," I said, trying to explain. He put the car in reverse for a moment before turning around and driving on the road.

As Jake continued to process my admission, I continued.

"I have a big heart, Jake. Sometimes that means I get hurt by loving people, but I'd rather my legacy be loving people completely than loving half-heartedly."

"But you have to hold your ground and not be a doormat," Jake retorted.

"I'm getting better at that, but that's still something I'm learning," I said, agreeing with his point. For a long time in my life, I favored holding my tongue instead of having the last word.

I allowed people to use me as a doormat, but slowly I began to speak up. Jake pointed out an area I was still growing.

"Maybe you can teach me how to have more patience with people and y'know giving chances," Jake said, glancing at me for a moment before shifting his eyes back to the road.

"Absolutely, and maybe you can teach me how to hold my ground," I said. Jake grinned before he shook my head.

"I will," he promised.

"Good, I'm betting on it," I said, peering at him.

* * *

The rest of the way home Jake told me more about his friends. He told me Seth and Leah weren't there because they were helping their mom out. Sue had for the past two years working overtime in the hospital in order to have food on the table.

Paul was sidetracked with the guys' shenanigans; Jake promised me I'd meet him soon enough. When Jake and I arrived back at his house, Bill was waiting for us.

"Hey!" He said as soon as Jake opened the door.

"How was it?" He asked, excitement coloring his tone.

"Great, I loved meeting everyone," I said, beaming at him. Jake looked at me like I had three heads for a moment.

"We'll talk later about it, Dad," Jake said, his voice gruff and stern. Billy raised his eyebrows before he turned to me.

"Well, I'm glad you had a good time, Bella," Billy said, smiling warmly at me.

"I should probably head back and make something for Charlie. He'll be hungry when he gets home," I said, deciding it was my time to duck out.

"Okay, honey. Be safe out there. You know Charlie invited us over for dinner tomorrow," Billy said. I realized I would have to make dinner for four people instead of two. Oh well, I can make a run to the grocery store later.

"Thanks, Billy. I can't wait to see you both tomorrow," I said, making an effort to smile instead of thinking about the daunting task of cooking.

"It was great to see you today, I'm amazed how much you've grown," Billy said, and I knew he didn't mean physical growth.

"Thanks, Billy. Thank you for opening up your home for me today," I said. Billy shook his head and let out a laugh.

"Bella, you're family," Billy grinned. I felt my heart grow in my chest at his words.

"I'll walk her out," Jake offered. Billy nodded and waved at me before Jake and I walked to the porch.

"I'm sorry about everything today, especially how Rachel..." Jake said, looking me in the eyes.

"Jake, shut up. Don't apologize, I loved hanging out with you today," I said, interrupting him. Jake's lips knitted into an impish grin.

"Thanks for letting me talk your ear off about cars and going with me to the barbecue,."

"I love listening and learning. Thank you for letting me crash the party," I said, teasingly towards the end.

"Drive safe, Bella. I'll see you tomorrow," he said before embracing me. His arms wound around my waist with ease. His warmth was welcome against my skin. I was convinced Jake was freakishly warm all the time.

"Jeez, you're warm," I said with a chuckle. Warm was an understatement; Jake was almost radioactive hot temperature wise.

"Yep, it's an umm...gene thing," he replied. I pulled away and began to walk to my Camry. I waved back at him as I revved my engine up before backing up.

* * *

As I drove back to Forks I let my mind wander to the bonfire earlier. At first, Rachel's emphasis on the word 'imprint' went straight over my head. I tried to decipher what she was talking about as I drove.

Did imprint mean Jake liked me? Or maybe I completely misheard her, which was more plausible. I really shouldn't have listened in on their conversation because it was rude of me.

However, they were talking very loud, so loud I could hear almost every word in the bathroom. _It still was rude, Bella, stop trying to justify it._

I peered in the driveway as I entered it. Strangely enough, Charlie's police cruiser was still missing. I guess his shifts were longer than I remembered. I cut off the engine after I parked before twisting the house key in the knob.

The house was just as I left it. I flicked the light switch before directing my attention to the kitchen. I figured Charlie would be starving when he got home so I fixed him a plate of pasta and chicken.

Before I left the kitchen, I grabbed my phone from the counter. As I entered my bedroom, I checked my messages.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Hey Bella, let me know when you get home. Thanks again for hanging out with me all day, and I'm sorry again about Rachel tonight.**

Jake needed to stop apologizing. I shook my head before I texted back.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **Jake, stop apologizing. I had fun :) Thank you for hanging out with me today. I'm home now and I'll see you tomorrow.**

After I received a notification that it was sent successful I turned my attention to the mountainous pile of homework I brought with me. I heard from a lot of people that the first week was syllabus week and therefore deemed, chill-a-bus week.

Since I was taking upper level classes instead of intro-level classes, I guess that rule didn't hold true anymore. Instead, I had pages of reading awaiting me. My phone went off in the middle of the chapter I was reading.

I ignored the notification and continued reading. After a solid hour of reading, my eyes flickered to my phone. I grabbed it, and a message greeted me.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Dad and I are really excited about dinner tomorrow (and of course I'm excited about seeing you). Do you need any help getting groceries or anything?**

I was touched with his thoughtfulness. Already I planned on making a run to the grocery store in the morning, but before then I had to figure out what the menu was. Immediately, I thought of checking some recipes out online.

Instead, I opted for the easier choice; I would make them an old Grandma Swan casserole recipe. Jake and Billy seemed like they would like casseroles, and it was clear they were a fan of a home cooked meal.

Maybe I could bring Jake along, it would be good to have some company. Usually, grocery runs were strictly a solitary activity, since Renee never liked grocery shopping. I was a fan of lists while she was more into surfing the shelves.

During my time in Jacksonville, I learned to loosen up a bit. _Take a risk, Bella._

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **I would love some company if you're up for a fairly early run to the grocery store.**

My phone lingered in my hand as my finger hovered over the send button. With a sigh, I allowed my finger to slip onto the send button. Ugh, clearly I was having a minor freak out about nothing.

Jake would say yes, he did spend the whole day with me after all. I couldn't let the insecurities get to me, especially after I made so much progress. Instead of pacing around the room, like a part of me wanted to do I went back to the reading that was awaiting me.

I heard my phone buzz sometime later, but instead of grabbing it and checking it, I let it remain on the side of my bed. After about a half and hour passed, I heard the front door swing open.

Seconds after that I heard a large thump on the ground, which I assumed to be Charlie's bag. I decided to go see Charlie downstairs, instead of hiding in my room like I used to.

"Hey, Dad!" I called as I walked down the stairs.

"Hey, Bells!" Charlie said, exhaustion clear in his voice. As I reached the bottom of the stairs I saw Charlie seated at the kitchen table. He found the plate I set aside for him, and stuck a fork in his food.

For a brief moment I wondered if while I was in Jacksonville, he resorted to eating on the couch. He sat quietly, without speaking to me for a moment. It was then, I realized when I was in Forks, the dinners were the same.

Charlie was used to silent dinners, not because I left for Jacksonville, but because his dinners with me were also silent. The damage I inflicted to him while I was grieving and zombie-like was enough.

I felt tears begin to prick my eyes as I came to terms with the pain I'd given my father. When I was in Forks, I always believed he was just a quiet man. To some extent, he was; however it was by my neglecting him by spending all of my time with Edward that the damage was done.

Part of me tried to justify it by blaming it on me being a teenager, however that didn't even begin to cover it. I made a choice, every day to isolate myself further and further from him by spending every waking moment with Edward.

I wasn't going to allow myself to do that again.

"Bells, are you okay?" Charlie asked, mid bite. I blinked the tears back and nodded.

"Yeah, I just was thinking," I said, deciding to tell the truth.

"Oh..well..ahh, did you want to talk about it?" Charlie asked, clearly wrestling with his discomfort.

"I'm really sorry for how I treated you in the past, Dad. It wasn't fair to you," I said, finally letting the words pass through. Charlie looked surprised for a moment before he shook his head.

"It's okay, Bella. It's all forgiven. Having you here is more than enough," Charlie said, assuring me. I decided to sit down across from him in the rickety old chair. He clearly took notice.

"How was your day today, Bells?" Charlie asked before he stuck another forkful of food in his mouth.

I felt a smile tug on my lips as I leaned one elbow on the table.

"Really good, I went to the beach this morning, which was really relaxing. Then Jake and I hung out for the rest of the day," I replied. Charlie's smile was almost blinding. It was clear he was pleased I was beginning a friendship with Jake.

"That's great, Bella. What did you do?" Charlie asked.

"He showed me all of his cars in his garage, all that car talk you gave me when I was younger really paid off. We had lunch, and then we went to a bonfire at Rachel and Paul's." I answered.

"How was the bonfire?" Charlie questioned as he took a swig of his water.

"Great, I met Emily and Sam. I even met Claire and Quil, too. Emily, Kim, and I helped out Rachel with the food," I said, bypassing all the drama about Rachel.

"I've only seen Rachel once since she moved back here. I know she's living with Paul. Was she okay with you?" Charlie asked. Was I that obvious?

"She was really stressed with making sure there was enough food," I said, careful with my wording. I avoided eye-contact for a moment. Charlie picked up on my silence.

"Billy says she can be wound up tight sometimes," Charlie commented.

"I'm sure I just caught her on a bad night," I said with a soft smile. Charlie finished his dinner moments later before finding his place on his recliner. He turned on a baseball game, and I sat on the couch watching it alongside him.

I could see out of the corner of my eye Charlie peer over at me every once and a while with a smile. Sometime later, I must have dozed off. I awoke to be lightly shaken.

"Bells, the game is over." Charlie whispered. I wretched my eyes open and stretched before walking upstairs. Before I walked upstairs, I gave Charlie a hug. Of course he was surprised, since affection wasn't either of ours specialty.

Charlie's arms wrapped around me seconds later. I trudged up the stairs, keeping one hand on the banister the whole time. Once I reached my bed, I pushed my textbooks to the foot of my bed.

I reached for my phone and read the message Jake sent me.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **I'd like that. What time were you thinking?**

I texted him back.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **Around ten? I'll provide you with lunch for your efforts.**

I set my phone on the bedside table to charge. Seconds later, my phone buzzed.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Sounds great. Should I meet you at the grocery store.**

I just decided it was better for me to drive.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **I can pick you up. See you at ten. Goodnight, Jake.**

I hoped my message didn't sound clipped as I sent it. I turned off my light before rolling over in my bed and drifting off.

* * *

The next morning I woke up as soon as rays of sunshine poured through my blinds. I scrunched my eyes closed for a moment, wondering if I was still dreaming. Sunshine was uncommon in Washington, especially in Forks.

Sure enough as I opened my curtains, sunshine greeted me. I grabbed my canvas from the foot of my bed along with my paint set on the bed table. I sauntered into the bathroom before I started a quick shower.

Somehow, I threw on a pair of cropped jeans, converse, and a loose fitting shirt afterwards.

I put on a little bit of mascara and eyeliner as almost an after-thought. The house was quiet except for Charlie's snores softly echoing through the house. I made him a pot of coffee before I wrote him a note.

I grabbed my canvas and paints before dashing out the door. Once I was in my car I organized everything before turning on the engine. The drive to La Push was easy, since there weren't any cars on the road.

Once I reached the beach, I eagerly sprinted to a place on the sand. My legs landed on the sand and I began to paint the sun rays hitting the dark water. When I looked at the beach before, it was almost menacing with the ebony colored water.

The water seemed calmer today instead of the choppy waves battering against the rocks, the waves lapped gently against the rocks. I let my brush glide across the paper, and felt my body begin to relax.

I looked absentmindedly down at my phone to check the time. I still had a good thirty minutes to kill before I picked up Jake. I folded my legs underneath me as I began to paint the dark indigo waters.

The beach in Jacksonville was almost polar opposite to La Push's.

For one, Jacksonville's beaches were more crowded which was why I had to come at sunrise. The beach goers were on the beach starting at noon, which left for less than ideal painting scenery.

La Push's beach was practically vacant. There were cliffs littering the sides of the beaches while Jacksonville was flat. Even the water was different, Jacksonville's was almost a turquoise while La Push's was a menacing indigo.

I let the paint dry as I checked my phone once more for the time. I grabbed my painting, placing it with care in the back of my car. I managed to find Jake's house without Google Maps, which was a huge accomplishment.

I rolled in the driveway before I walked up the two steps onto the porch. I knocked on the door, with one hand while the other I stuck in my back pocket. Jake opened the door and gave me an impish grin.

"Good morning, Bella, I didn't know you were a morning person," he said with a chuckle.

"It's a new development," I replied.

"Huh. Did you go to beach this morning?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"You smell like it," Jake replied, pushing a rogue hair behind my ear.

"Your sense of smell is insane," I said, teasingly.

"Also a new development," he said. I shook my head before elbowing him in the side.

"This is a nice Camry," Jake commented as he got into the passenger seat. I held back a laugh as I saw his head almost hit the ceiling.

"What's so funny?" Jake asked, a smile easing on his lips.

"Your head is almost hitting the ceiling," I replied before I erupted into a fit of laughs.

"Your car is just small, but that's okay because you're small," Jake replied. I turned onto the main road.

"I'm five-three thank you very much," I said.

"You're tiny." Jake retorted.

"You're just a giant." I said teasingly.

"I prefer the term 'tall, dark, and handsome'." Jake said with a wink.

"Oh, is that what all the girls call you?" I asked as I turned into a grocery store parking lot.

"Yep," he said, popping the 'p'. He waited for me as I struggled with my seat belt. As soon as I slid out of my seat, Jake was there.

"Jeez, you're fast," I said, shaking my head in wonder.

"Naw, that seat-belt was just giving you a hard time," he replied. The automatic door opened for us before I grabbed a rickety cart.

"So what do you need for tonight?" Jake asked as I began to access the aisles for food. I looked down at my list in my hand before responding.

"Pasta, cheese, chicken, and spices," I replied.

"What are you making tonight?" Jake asked curiously.

"One of Grandma Swan's old casserole recipes," I said.

"I'm so excited, I don't get to have a home-cooked meal that often," Jake said as I turned to go down the pasta aisle.

"You had one last night, silly," I reminded. He laughed before he stuck his hands in his pockets.

"You just called me out on my bull shit," he marvelled.

"Yep," I smiled.

"You're right, I do get them sometimes. All the pac-I mean guys go over to Emily's a ton. She always has food at her house," Jake said as I stopped the cart to grab a container of pasta.

Of course the pasta I wanted was on the top shelf. I bit my lip and with determination I jumped to try to grab it. I jumped again after my first failed attempt. Before I could jump again, Jake grabbed it easily.

"What was that for?" I asked as he handed me the box.

"Well, short stuff, I had to watch for a minute before I grabbed it myself," he replied, a dimple showing on his cheek.

"That was mean," I said as I threw the box into the cart.

"I'm sorry, that was dick-ish of me. You just had the cutes-funniest expression on your face," Jake explained.

"Right," I murmured, holding back a smile as I walked into the next aisle. I found the dairy section with relative ease.

"What do you need from here?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Cheese," I replied.

"Well, that's obvious, Bella. I mean what type," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Cheddar and Parmesan," I replied. He went straight for the white cheddar.

"Hey Jake," I said.

"This is the one, right?" Jake asked. I put one of my hands on the cheese he was holding.

"Close, we need the yellow one," I said gently. He grabbed the other one and placed it in the cart. I found the Parmesan with ease, and began to place it in the cart.

"You were painting, weren't you?" Jake asked. I furrowed an eye brow as I placed it in the cart. He gently took both my hands in his dark hand before flipping my hands so the palms were up.

His hands felt so warm as he traced the paint marks on my hands. Despite the callous on his hands, his touch was gentle.

"It was beautiful this morning," I said as I nodded.

"Yeah, I bet it was," Jake smiled knowingly. It was clear I was missing something. He dropped my hands from his seconds later. I turned the cart towards the direction of the meat section.

"Do you want drumsticks or chicken breasts?" Jake asked, clearly more in his element.

"Can you grab the boneless and skinless chicken breasts?" I asked as I checked it off my list.

"Yep!" He said eagerly. He handed me the package of frozen chicken breasts.

"C'mon, we're going to the spice section," I said, gesturing for Jake to follow me. He walked alongside me. I found paprika and rosemary with ease.

"That's really small," Jake commented as I picked up a small jar of rosemary.

"You don't need a lot of rosemary, just enough so that it gives the chicken a little flavoring," I explained.

"I've never used spices before," Jake said, and I chuckled.

"I'm guessing you've befriended Easy-Mac," I said as I put the spices into the cart.

"Well, Easy-Mac is incredible," Jake said defensively.

"We're going back to the pasta section," I said as I turned the cart around.

"I thought we already got pasta?" Jake said, clearly confused.

"I'm going to make you home-made macaroni and cheese, in hopes to change your mind," I said with a grin.

"I'm sure I'll love your mac and cheese, Bella, but Easy-Mac is..." Jake said as I rushed into the pasta section, grabbing the macaroni shells from the shelf.

"You can tell me all about your undying love for Easy-Mac after you've had mine, okay?" I said, teasingly. I did the math in my head before I rushed to the dairy section again.

"Bella, seriously? You could at least tell me where we're going," Jake said, clearly annoyed.

"Sorry, I forget that I don't always say things aloud," I said as I rushed to the dairy section and found an assortment of cheeses.

"I hope you're not lactose intolerant," I said as I grabbed more cheddar cheese along with white cheddar and mozzarella.

"That would be a downer, but I'm not," he assured me.

"Good, because this is a lot of cheese," I said, warning him.

"That's great, the more the merrier," he said. Once I was finished with finding all the ingredients I needed I went to the check-out line. Jake helped me carry the grocery bags like a true gentleman.

However, instead of insisting on carrying them he asked. He wasn't insistent or controlling, instead he was courteous. He didn't do gentlemanly acts in order to boost his own ego, or to protect his masculinity.

He did gentlemanly acts because he cared, and always made sure I was on board with it. I never encountered that with a man before. With Edward, he was insistent on performing these gentlemanly acts to seem chivalrous. He fit my need for a Prince Charming, and now I realized he performed all of those acts in order to have control.

While my thoughts lingered on Jake's actions of kindness, I shoved my groceries in the trunk. As I slid into my seat, Jake sat in the passenger seat beside me.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jake asked, compassionately. Oh goodness, he must have thought I was a freak.

"Sorry I tend to have my head in the clouds sometimes," I said, red blooming in my cheeks.

"I noticed, but you don't have to apologize for it. Anytime you wanna share wherever you go in there, feel free," Jake said with a careful smile. I felt my heart warm with his kindness.

"Thanks Jake," I said, warmly shooting him a smile before I put my keys in the ignition.

"Do you want me to drop you off?" I asked as I pulled out of the parking lot.

"Yeah, I have to help out my Dad before we come over," Jake said, a frown mangling his lips.

"Oh, okay. Do you have an time estimate for when we should expect both of you?" I asked as I made the turn onto Jake's street.

"Probably around six. I'm excited to taste this mac and cheese you've been talking about," Jake said, going back to his usual teasing.

"Charlie will be ecstatic, he loves that stuff. Thanks for coming with me this morning," I said as I pulled into his driveway.

"That was the first time I've actually had fun at a grocery store. I'm hoping for more grocery runs with you in the future," Jake said, smiling impishly at me.

"Count on it," I assured him. As soon as I parked he opened his door.

"I'll see you later, Bella. Be safe driving home," Jake said as he put his hand on the hood.

"I will. See you later," I said. I begin to back my car up before driving onto the main road. Before I leave the driveway, I see Jake standing in the driveway in my rear view mirror.

I feel a tug in my heart, different from anything I've experienced before. I push that aside, deciding it must be indigestion or a fluke. As I drive back to Forks, my mind was in a haze.

I was at a loss for the reason I felt that being with Jake was easy as breathing. The friendship was easily progressing, almost like it was meant to be. I tried to go back in my mind to when Jake and I were little.

 _I remembered Jake, about the same size as me with raven hair pulled back into a ponytail. He pushed the mud together into a ball as I played with the clumps of mud in the driveway._

 _Jake piled it together and began patting it down. His creation began to look more and more like a cake as he pushed it down so it looked like a sheet cake. His dark brown, nearly black eyes met mine as an enthusiastic smile crept across his lips._

 _He told me this was his gift, a cake just for me. I turned back behind me to Charlie and Billy grinning like fools watching us. I saw Charlie's mouth move as I tried to decipher what he was saying._

I couldn't believe after all this time that memory just bloomed in my mind. When I first came to Forks, at the ripe age of sixteen, I kept those memories filed away in my mind; I spent hardly any time reflecting on them.

As I spent more and more time with Jacob, those memories came back like a tidal wave. When I reached my house, I let myself take a breath before walking inside. Why, after all this time were these memories now resurfacing?

* * *

 **Wow, this was packed with stuff. What did you think about Jake and Bella's time hanging out? And Bella and Charlie finally talking about what happened? Let me know what you all think!**

 **See you next week!**

 **-Princessinblues**


	7. Nothing Like Starting Over

**Thank you for the reviews last chapter, keep them coming! In this chapter we see more Bella and Jake along with Charlie and Billy.**

* * *

 _ **Love's got a way of letting you know**_  
 _ **when the time to hold on or time to let go, tells you so**_  
 _ **It's the cold in the kiss, of looking away,**_  
 _ **the say what you mean, well do you mean what you say?**_  
 _ **I don't really know**_  
 _ **It's time to reset, rethink, re position,**_  
 _ **there's nothing wrong with me, it's just a condition**_  
 _ **It's the science of love, fly when we fall, through it all,**_  
 _ **we turn with the tide, cause we're free on the other side**_

 _ **There's nothing like starting over,**_  
 _ **there's nothing like shedding a heartache,**_  
 _ **writing a new page to say what you wanna say**_  
 _ **There's nothing like a heart wide open,**_  
 _ **that bittersweet comfort of knowing you**_  
 _ **can let go and take the weight off your shoulders**_  
 _ **There's nothing like starting over,**_  
 _ **there's nothing like starting over, starting over**_

 _ **One is a lonely number,**_  
 _ **it kind of makes you wonder**_  
 _ **how starting back at zero can feel so nice,**_  
 _ **but it feels just right**_

 _ **Cause there just ain't nothing like,**_  
 _ **there's nothing like starting over,**_  
 _ **there's nothing like shedding a heartache,**_  
 _ **writing a new page to say what you wanna say**_  
 _ **There's nothing like a heart wide open,**_  
 _ **that bittersweet comfort of knowing you**_  
 _ **can let go and take the weight off your shoulders**_

 _ **~Nothing Like Starting Over-Hunter Hayes**_

* * *

Once I came to my senses, I grabbed my groceries from the trunk before trudging inside.

"Dad?" I called as I opened the door while balancing groceries in my other hand.

"I'm in here, Bella!" Charlie said, bellowing. I found him in his make shift study, which was in reality a cramped closet. His glasses tipped over the bridge of his nose as he studied intently the papers in front of him.

"Dad, are you working?" I asked as I dropped the groceries on the kitchen table before walking in again.

"Yeah, sorry, force of habit," Charlie said, closing the file to meet my eyes. I realized that he must have spent his weekends while I was away nose deep in paper work. Guilt flooded me at the realization.

"You came home from being on duty last night," I said, reminding him. He put his hands behind his head and chuckled before he answered.

"Cops are never truly off duty," Charlie said with a huff. I considered his point for a moment before nodding.

"I'm guessing you went to the grocery store?" Charlie said, trying to change the subject.

"I went to the beach and then went grocery shopping," I answered.

"You're a beach fan, huh?" Charlie said, curiosity clear in his tone.

"Jacksonville definitely turned me into one," I admitted.

"Renee told me you paint now," Charlie commented. Blush covered my cheeks at his observation. Renee must have found the canvases littered across my room.

"I do," I said, my cheeks still flushed.

"I think it's great, Bells. It's about time a Swan had some artistic talent," he said teasingly.

"I guess so," I laughed.

"Are you sure you wanna cook dinner tonight? I feel bad," Charlie said as he opened his file again.

"I'm sure, I promised Jake my famous mac and cheese," I said with a laugh. Charlie's eyes grew wide as he realized I was making the acclaimed mac and cheese.

"I can't wait, Bells. It's great," Charlie said, clearly excited.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll let you get back to your work. I can get you lunch if you want," I offered.

"I had a sandwich earlier," Charlie said.

"It wasn't a meatball sub, was it?" I asked. I knew Charlie had a knack for choosing unhealthy foods. For as long as I could remember he was the king of junk food. I was surprised his arteries weren't clogged yet.

"Guilty as charged," Charlie confessed.

"Dad, I am so going grocery shopping for you. Have you gotten your cholesterol checked?" I asked, frustration evident in my tone.

"Yeah, the doc said it was a little high," Charlie answered.

"Dad! No more fast food for you," I said.

"Bells, stop worrying about your old man."

"I'd love to see you eat more cheeseburgers in your lifetime, Dad, but I don't think that will happen if you keep eating junk," I said, my frustration only growing.

"Fine, Bells. I'll eat healthier," Charlie said with a sigh.

"I'll go out later and make sure your fridge doesn't have anything potentially greasy in sight," I promised as I closed the study door before retreating to the kitchen. As I stared at the bags of groceries in front of me, I knew I had my work cut out for me.

Somehow I dished out Grandma Swan's old casserole recipe, the edges of the paper were tired and crinkled. As I assembled the ingredients, I heard my phone vibrate in my back pocket.

I slid my phone out with the hand I wasn't using.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Sorry I had to duck out on you early. I can't wait to see you tonight.**

I smiled at Jake's thoughtfulness before I quickly replied.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **No worries. I hope you come with an empty stomach, because there's a lot of food.**

I slid my phone back into my back jean pocket before turning my attention towards cooking again. The casserole only took me minutes to prepare before I threw it in the oven to bake.

The mac and cheese was more laborious, partly because of the amount of cheese that needed to be grated. Once I grated the cheese, I cooked the pasta before throwing it all together in the oven.

Charlie resurfaced from the study sometime later. He sniffed the air before he grinned at me.

"Smells great, Bells." Charlie commented.

"Thanks, Dad," I smiled as I checked the casserole in the oven.

"It's good you made a lot of food, Billy always tells me how Jake's appetite has grown," Charlie said with a chuckle.

"It makes sense, I mean, have you seen him? He's huge!" I said before I shut the oven.

"He had a growth spurt, that's for sure. He really grew not too long after you left, he cut his hair and everything."

"I remember at prom he had really long hair," I said, flashing back to prom night. I remember Jake arriving in blue jeans and a tee shirt with his hair pulled back into a ponytail.

Now, his hair was short like most of his friends. Sam, Quil, and Seth all had their hair cut short almost to a buzz cut just like Jake.

"He's got a tattoo now," Charlie said.

"Really?" I asked. That was definitely a new development. Of course it made sense, since Jake was eighteen now. I scanned my memory and realized Sam, Quil, and Seth had matching tattoos on their bicep.

"Are Sam, Quil, and Seth related?" I questioned, before Charlie could reply to my other question.

"I'm not sure about their family tree. Maybe distantly, but their all friends. They're known as the bad guys on the reservation," Charlie said. Sometimes I thought Charlie resembled an old woman with the way he gossiped.

"Because they have tattoos and motor cycles?" I asked, holding back a laugh.

"That's part of it, but also because they all work at a mechanic's place at the edge of reservation land and Forks. They finished up GEDs or got their High School diploma, but nobody really goes to college there," Charlie said, shrugging.

"Every one is different," I shrugged. In Jacksonville, almost everyone I went to High School with was off to college. The High School I attended was well off. In La Push, from what Charlie told me, most people don't pursue a college degree.

"I didn't ask you in depth, but how's Jake? I heard from Billy you two really hit it off," Charlie asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"You and Billy gossip like two old women," I said, trying to conceal the blush heating my cheeks.

"I'm glad you're spending time with Jake. He's a good guy," Charlie commented. I agreed with Charlie's assessment; from what I observed Jake was a good man. Yes, he was eighteen, but he was already a man.

It was like he skipped the typical annoying High School hormonal boy and transformed into a man.

"He is, he's a good friend," I said, emphasizing the last word. Charlie seemed to catch my drift. I started chopping lettuce for the salads which earned a glare from Charlie.

As I began to put the lettuce in bowls, Jake and Billy opened the door.

"Hey!" Charlie greeted. Billy wheeled himself in while Jake walked behind him. Billy came in brandishing a case of beer which earned a grin from Charlie. During this whole exchange, Jake's eyes remained on me.

"Long time no see," I said with a chuckle. Jake smiled crookedly at me before he embraced me quickly. It still fascinated me how warm he was temperature wise compared to me.

"Yeah, I was starting to have separation anxiety," Jake teased.

"So Jake tells me you made your famous mac and cheese," Billy said, interjecting.

"I don't know about the famous part, but yes," I responded.

"It's famous around this house." Charlie said, defensively.

"She bought a lot of cheese this morning," Jake said, meeting my gaze for a moment.

"Well if it isn't full of cholesterol then it's not worth it," Billy said jokingly.

"What kind of beer is this?" Charlie asked Billy.

"I just got some local brewery's dark beer," Billy said, shrugging. Billy and Charlie walked off with the case in hand. I rolled my eyes, beer was Charlie's favorite. Billy and Charlie sat in the living room, beginning their own conversation.

Jake turned to me as I walked back behind the counter in the kitchen.

"It smells amazing in here," Jake said appreciatively.

"I'm glad to hear that," I smiled as I pushed back a few hairs from my face.

"Are you excited to start your second week of college?" Jake asked as he leaned up against the counter.

"I am, I know the workload is only going to get worse from here," I said, dreading the piles of paper and exams in my future.

"Yeah, but you can do it. You're a smart girl," Jake reminded.

"Thank you," I murmured, blush flooding my cheeks. When he saw the blood rush to my cheeks he grinned with a dimple exposed.

"So what's it like being back in Forks again?" Jake asked. I let my mind wander for a moment before answering. When I left Jacksonville and began the long drive to Forks I expected a breakdown.

I was fully prepared for a breakdown when I saw the 'Welcome to Forks' sign. However, when I passed the sign I didn't feel a tug or a rip in my heart open again. Instead, I felt like it was a fresh start.

A fresh start meant that I got to write the story this time, by me taking the reigns back.

"It's good," I said, simply.

"Is it weird at all?" Jake asked.

"I was expecting it to be harder than it actually was. He's not here anymore, and I get a brand new start," I explained. Forks was never the problem, it was simply a scape goat for the real problem.

Heartbreak was a cruel teacher. Heartbreak and my fear of hurting again made me keep my distance from Forks. I believed for a long time it was easier to stay away from Forks because I was able to avoid the pain.

Heartbreak followed me to Jacksonville, and distance wasn't the cure. Instead, time and love from my family and friends helped heal the wounds that marred my heart.

"People's memories don't fade so of course people around here still remember who I was two years ago. I know that girl isn't me, and I'm not here to prove that. I'm here to take back my happiness, and live again." I added.

When I was with Edward, my fear was aging. With every year, I would grow older than Edward.

Once he left, time became my ally. With time came healing and finding the true definition of love.

"It's a small town, so people gossip a lot. But it's great that you have that perspective now," Jake commented.

"Gossip doesn't bother me, they're just words," I shrugged.

"Moving from Jacksonville to Forks is still a big adjustment," Jake said as he traced the counter with his finger.

"Change is a good thing, sure I miss the sun. But I missed how green it is here, there aren't that many trees in Jacksonville. The rain isn't so bad either," I said. I used to view the rain as dismal and depressing.

With time, I grew an appreciation for the rain and cloudy weather.

"Really? The rain doesn't bother you?" Jake asked, with shock.

"Not really, it never rained in Jacksonville," I answered.

"That makes sense, it's a lot warmer down there."

"It's buggy, all the time," I complained, turning my lips downward to a frown.

"It's colder here," Jake agreed.

"But you wear cut offs and a tee shirt all the time," I observed.

"I don't get cold," Jake said, shrugging.

"You're freakishly warm, Jake. It's bizarre," I said.

"It's genetic," Jake said, the words sliding off his tongue easily. My mind wandered back to the oven as I thought how much longer the casserole and the mac and cheese needed.

"Crap!" I said, exclaiming as I struggled to find pan holders.

"Bella?" Jake called. I managed to put on oven mitts as I quickly grabbed the casserole out of the oven. Like the klutz I was, I managed to slide the side of my arm against the oven rack.

I bit back a hiss as I placed the casserole onto the stove before returning to the oven to grab the mac and cheese.

"Do you need any help?" Jake asked, still confused.

"No," I replied, somehow managing to reply in my haze. The sting from the burn began to increase as I returned to my senses.

"Bella?" Charlie called, hearing the commotion in the kitchen.

"I'm fine!" I said, finally snapping out of it. The side of my arm throbbed, but I ignored it as I searched for utensils. With relative ease I found spoons and a spatula for the casserole and the mac and cheese.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, a tinge of worry in his tone.

"Yeah, sorry I just realized I almost burnt dinner," I admitted sheepishly.

"You didn't, but I think you got yourself pretty good," Jake noted, gesturing to the growing redness on my arm.

"Oh," I said, finally accessing the damage. I ran my arm underneath water from the faucet for a moment.

"How bad is it?" Jake questioned, anxiousness in his tone.

"Not too bad, it'll be fine," I assured him.

"You really hit it in there," Jake observed, worry in his tone.

"I'm fine, Jake I promise. Can you get the plates from the counter?" I asked. With slight hesitation, Jake grabbed the plates for me.

"How bad does it hurt?" Jake questioned. I let out a frustrated sigh, I was completely fine. It was a little burn from the oven and he was acting like I needed to be ushered off to the burn unit.

"Jake, I promise I'm fine," I chided.

"Dinner's ready!" I called. He looked me over for a minute before sighing; he clearly realized I was stubborn. I gave him an apologetic look as Charlie and Billy barreled into the kitchen.

Jake still looked tense as Billy and Charlie both grabbed plates.

"Is everything alright in here?" Charlie asked with hesitance.

"Yep!" I replied, mustering a smile.

"Bella got herself pretty good when she brought everything out of the oven," Jake said, and I threw him a glare.

"Are you okay?" Billy asked.

"I'm fine, Jake was a second away from bringing me to the burn unit," I said with a sigh. Charlie's eyes focused on my arm for a moment before he took a sharp intake of breath.

"Bells, that looks like a bad one," Charlie said, worry tinging his voice.

"I'm fine, let's have dinner," I suggested. Jake and Charlie looked at me as if I had grown three heads.

"Bella..." Jake started.

"Stop being a worry-wart, this mac and cheese and the casserole isn't going to eat itself," I said, interrupting him. Jake's shoulders dropped before he let out a defeated sigh.

"It looks great, Bella." Billy said, complimenting me. Charlie and Billy each began to fill their plates. Neither of them touched the salad, which I expected. Jake picked out a huge portion of food on his plate before taking a look at me before inserting a small amount of salad on his plate.

My lips turned upward into a smile as I realized he was trying to please me. I settled on a large salad and a small amount of casserole. As they all found seats at the kitchen table I fished in the fridge for a bottle of water.

As soon as I was seated they started to chow down. After the first mouthful, Jake looked over at me.

"Bella, this is amazing, best mac and cheese I've ever tasted," Jake said before he took another forkful.

"What did I tell you, Jake? Her cooking is awesome. I've missed it," Charlie said. I smiled before I took a forkful of salad into my mouth.

"She's a great cook. Bella, the casserole is delicious. Is it a recipe?" Billy asked curiously.

"Yeah, it's one of Grandma Swan's old ones," I answered before I took a swig of water.

"I would ask for the recipe but I'd probably burn it," Jake said with a laugh.

I chuckled before shaking my head, "well you can be my sous chef and I can show you the ropes."

"I'll do it if you let me teach you how to run," Jake said, compromising.

"I think I understand the basics, I think it's learning how to actually like it or not sound like a leaf blower while doing it," I said.

"Controlling your breathing comes with time, Bella. But if you run with someone, it sucks a little less," Jake explained. Considering the fact that my balance was already questionable, running was out of my skill-set.

Maybe Jake was right there was a possibility that with time I could actually grow to like running; running with someone could also ease my fear. The only part that concerned me was that it was embarrassing to run with someone, especially Jake.

Flashbacks of high school gym class when I ran the mile popped into my head.

"It would be very embarrassing," I laughed.

"Bells isn't exactly the most coordinated either, she's a bit of a ummm..." Charlie said, clearly scared to finish his thought.

"Klutz is the word he's looking for," I interjected.

"I'm a pretty good trainer and she can do it," Jake grinned. Jake's confidence in me resulted in my cheeks flushing scarlet for a moment.

"Jake has to stay in top physical shape," Billy agreed.

"Really? Are you on a sports team or something?" I asked curiously.

"My friends and I am protectors on the reservation," Jake explained.

"Like the police?" I said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, sort of," Jake shrugged.

"Aren't you a little young?" I asked, pushing my eyebrows together. Jake was eighteen, he couldn't have had any formal training.

"We get started young," Jake replied. There was something strange about having a bunch of teenage boys serve as law enforcement. If Jake was protection as he called it, that meant that Sam, Paul, Seth, Quil, and Jared were all protection as well.

"I'll say," I said before I took another forkful.

"Bella, what are you planning on studying?" Billy asked, changing the subject.

"I'm thinking about English; I want to be a middle or high school teacher," I said, which earned a grin from Charlie.

"I don't remember you being a fan of kids," Billy noted.

"I wasn't," I said, taking a breath before continuing. When I dated Edward, children were completely out of the picture for me. I never imagined ever becoming a mother because I knew with Edward, I never could.

Children held no interest for me also because I was an only child.

"In Jacksonville, I tutored middle schoolers after school," I added.

"You liked it, huh?" Billy said.

"I did, I liked it more than I imagined I would," I said, nodding. When I worked with them, I found out my preconceptions of children were wrong. Children were curious, wanting to learn about the world around them, and hilarious.

I grew more patience after that experience.

"You'll be a great teacher, Bella," Jake said encouragingly. I flickered a glance in his direction before I beamed at him.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"You know Bella's an artist, too," Charlie boasted. I could feel my cheeks heat up like a tea kettle on a stove at his words. There wasn't a doubt in my mind I resembled a fire hydrant.

How did he know? Did Renee tell him?

"Dad..." I murmured.

"She is, she paints," Jake said. I wanted to slump in my chair.

"Oh really?" Billy asked, clearly surprised.

"She painted at First Beach," Jake said, nodding.

"She's great at it. Renee told me all about it," Charlie added. That explains it, Renee had spilled the beans. She must have found the canvases in my room.

"She's really good," Jake agreed. Lena's words echoed again in my head. _Accept the compliment, allow others to see the good in you._

"Thank you," I said, almost too softly. The rest of dinner resulted in old stories recited by Billy and Charlie about mine and Jake's childhood days. When Charlie had custody of me for the summers, Jake and I were inseparable.

As Charlie and Billy recounted, the memories came flooding back to me. In the past, when I recalled moments most of them were painful causing me to breakdown. These memories were warmer and were actually welcome.

Once Charlie and Billy were finished they put their plates in the dishwasher before heading back to the living room; they left Jake and I alone in the kitchen.

"You're not used to compliments are you?" Jake asked curiously. I nearly dropped the plate I was holding in my hand. As I tried to maintain my composure, I bit my lip. Jake was more perceptive than I gave him credit for.

Although he didn't usually prod, he was curious. He was very careful about when he did ask questions. It completely blew my mind that Jake was able to pick that up from one dinner.

"I am," I said, my voice squeaking. I was a terrible liar, but maybe he would buy it. He pursed his lips before walking closer to me slowly. He stopped when we were a foot apart before staring directly into my eyes.

"Bella, you're a really bad liar," Jake said softly. My eyes traced the tiles on the floor as I collected my thoughts. He was right of course, I was a horrible liar. Renee used to tease me that I had a bad poker face.

"I'm getting better at it," I said, mustering a smile. Jake smiled a tight lipped smile before he shook his head.

"I bet you can tear yourself apart, can't you?" Jake asked, as his gaze met mine. I stared back at him, wanting my gaze to not falter.

"You're a lot better than you were probably, but you're still carrying your scars." Jake added.

"But I bet you reject compliments with a 'you're so sweet, but I'm not.'" Jake said, his voice gaining intensity.

"You're an amazing, smart, and beautiful woman, Bella. I wish you could see that," he said with a sigh.

"I do," I said softly. Two years ago I would easily knock that compliment down because I believed I wasn't enough. I saw myself as used, damaged goods permanently on the clearance aisle.

With time and Lena's guidance, I made a list every day of five things I like about myself. The first days were almost impossible, however Lena continued to push me.

"Can I show you something?" I asked, breaking the silence.

"Yes," Jake said, his eyebrows furrowing together.

"Hold on," I murmured. _Let someone in, Bella. Let him in._ Once I reached my bedroom, I found the journal I was looking for. With my heart pounding in my chest, I walked down the stairs to meet Jake where I left him.

"It's kinda dorky, but when I was in a bad place I started a journal. My friend, Lena, gave me this journal to write down five things I like about me," I said, clutching the journal.

I searched his eyes and face for any sign of fear. Instead, his expression was thoughtful as his gaze met mine.

"You're right, I was terrible at taking compliments. It's still a struggle of mine, but I'm getting better every day," I explained, a hesitant smile forming on my lips. Jake's lips turned upwards into a smile.

"Thank you for showing me, and it's not dorky I promise," Jake assured me.

"I'm not used to letting people in, but I'm going to let you in," I said with confidence.

"You're stronger than you give yourself credit for," Jake reminded me.

"You're really perceptive, I forget that sometimes," I said, shaking my head. Seconds later, I heard Jake's stomach groan loudly.

"Already hungry again?" I asked with amusement.

"Yeah, I have a huge appetite."

"And you have six pack, you suck," I muttered, swatting him playfully on the arm. The serious expression his face held erased as his impish smile spread across his lips.

"Sorry, Bells, I work out," Jake laughed.

"You eat enough food for six people," I said teasingly. Jake grinned cheekily as he shook his head.

"I have a fast metabolism," Jake said, shrugging.

"Like non-human," I said, correcting him. Jake winced for a second before continuing to meet my gaze. Although he only winced slightly, my eyes detected it. My eyes reached the numbers that lit up the clock.

"Do you have to leave soon?" Jake asked quietly.

"Yeah, I do," I said, with a sigh.

"Do you need any help bringing your bags down?" Jake questioned, and I shook my head. Jake was always sweet with offering to help at any opportunity he could.

"No, I'm fine, but thanks Jake. All I have is my backpack and a day bag," I said, as I began to cover the food that was left out.

"Are you going to come back every weekend?" Jake asked. My cheeks flamed scarlet as I processed his question.

"I'm hoping to come back most weekends. Part of the reason I'm going to U-dub is so I can reconnect with Charlie," I admitted as I put the casserole in the fridge. Jake helped me cover the mac and cheese before handing me the container to place in the fridge.

"That's good, Bella. Charlie will love that," Jake assured me.

"Yeah, I'm hoping to start fresh with him," I said.

"Bella, you know he doesn't hold what happened against you," Jake said, reminding me. My eyes flickered to the ground. Jake had managed to say my worst fear: Charlie not forgiving me, or wanting to move forward.

"You don't, do you?" Jake asked softly, his eyes growing tender.

"I'm just worried. I acted like such a...child," I said, crossing my arms around my chest.

"You were, you went through a bad break up. So what? You got back up, and that's what matters," Jake said compassionately.

"But I left him all alone just like Renee," I whispered. When I was driving across the country I constantly feared Charlie wouldn't forgive me because I left exactly like my mother had.

I saw when I lived in Forks how my mother's desertion impacted Charlie. I peered at the ground, scared to see what Jake's eyes held. _It's good you opened up, it's good to let people in._ A few years ago, I would have kept my gaze on the crisscrossed tiles on the floor. Instead, I met his gaze.

I wasn't expecting the tenderness in Jake's eyes, or the emotion held there.

"Bella," Jake whispered.

"You are not your mother, you are his daughter. You are his daughter who needed to lick her wounds, and get back on her feet again. And that's what you did," Jake said, brushing a few strands of my hair that fell in my face behind my ear.

At his words, which I could tell from the intensity in his tone that he meant every single one of them, a smile began to spread across my face. He was right, this was another moment of my insecurity which I had battled by myself for so long that managed to escape.

Charlie had already forgiven me, I didn't have to earn it. As I was standing there, I realized this weekend I'd spent in attempt to earn forgiveness from him. However, Charlie's forgiveness was already earned.

I didn't have to earn his forgiveness, he gave it out without second thought because of his love for me. He wasn't very affectionate, or vocal about his love. Instead, he let his actions speak.

His actions spoke those days when I cooped myself up in my room. Instead of forcing me to get up, he let me grieve. He wasn't ignoring me, he was allowing me to breathe by myself for a while.

His actions spoke again the night when I broke down telling him I wanted to move down to Jacksonville. I remember vividly he held me until I cried myself out before carrying me upstairs.

When I knocked on the door two years later, his actions spoke again by keeping the door open. Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around Jake's torso in an embrace to thank him.

Without missing a beat, Jake laid one arm around me while the other cradled my head against his chest. I could feel tears prick at my eyes, but none of them fell. Moments later, I emerged from his embrace.

"You okay?" Jake asked, taking a look at me up and down.

"Yes," I assured him with a soft smile.

"Thank you for that," I murmured.

"Anytime, Bella," Jake said, smiling cheekily at me. Before I could reply, Charlie and Billy walked in.

"Bells, are you gonna be okay driving back tonight?" Charlie asked, crossing his arms around his chest.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," I assured him.

"Are you all packed?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, Jake helped me bring my bags out to the car," I answered. We small talked for a few more minutes before I told them I had to leave.

"Be safe, okay? Call me when you get back," Charlie said as he embraced me.

"I will, I left leftovers in the fridge which should last you a week," I told him. He grinned before he kissed my forehead.

"You're welcome anytime, Bells." Charlie said before he pulled back.

"I'll be back probably on Sunday for a little bit," I informed him. I turned to Billy and hugged him for a moment.

"It was great to see you, Bella. You've grown into a beautiful young lady. Don't be a stranger, okay? You're welcome anytime at my house, besides I'm sure Jake wouldn't mind the company," Billy said, winking at Jake.

"Dad..." Jake said, sighing.

"Thank you, Billy. It was great to see you, too. I will, don't worry," I said. Charlie and Billy waved before heading back inside the house which left Jake and me alone.

"It was great to get to know you more this weekend, Bella. Thank you for hanging out with me," Jake said as his gaze met mine.

"Thank you for everything, and for listening. I'll come and visit you soon," I assured him.

"Okay, I'm sure I'll start having Bella withdrawals," he teased. I punched his arm lightly.

"Text me when you get back to let me know you're safe," Jake added as he embraced me.

"I will," I assured him. He pressed a lingering kiss on my forehead before I pulled away from his embrace. He watched me as I pulled out of the driveway. I waved at him once more before I saw him in my rear view mirror.

* * *

 **Wow, that was a roller coaster. What did y'all think about Bella's realization about Charlie and her opening up to Jake? Let me know by leaving me a review. Until next time,**

 **Princessinblues**


	8. Like a Rose

**Thank you all for the reviews y'all! Just a warning, a tough subject matter is discussed (mentions of an abusive relationship). Just a warning. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

 _ **Sitting in this diner with a coffee in my hand**_  
 _ **Waiting on a bus to some promise land**_  
 _ **I got a one way ticket as far as it goes**_  
 _ **And I came out like a rose**_

 _ **So I'm headed south to anywhere that ain't so damn cold**_  
 _ **Where I can warm my heart and shake the chill from my bones**_  
 _ **It took a while to get here, it's been a long hard road**_  
 _ **And I came out like a rose**_

 _ **Sitting in this diner with a coffee in my hand**_  
 _ **Waiting on a bus to some promise land**_  
 _ **I got a one way ticket as far as it goes**_  
 _ **And I came out like a rose**_

 _ **It took a while to get here, it's been a long hard road**_

 _ **And I came out like a rose**_

 ** _~Like A Rose-Ashley Monroe_**

* * *

When I finally reached my dorm complex, I let out a sigh of relief. Traffic through Seattle was worse than I remembered, and I was a hair away from falling asleep on the way up the stairs.

I stuck my key into the door before turning the doorknob. The dorm room was empty, and I figured Luna went to the library to study.

With a huff, I fell onto my bed. I rubbed my forehead, worrying that a head ache was approaching. Absentmindedly I checked my cell phone before realizing I needed to text Jake to let him know I was alive.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **Hi Jake! I'm back safe. Thank you for everything this weekend! I hope Charlie let you have some of the leftovers.**

I realized I needed to call Renee, who had been texting me throughout the weekend. Luckily I had her number memorized, so I dialed the number with ease.

After two tones, Renee's enthusiastic voice broke through my ear.

"Hi honey! I was starting to get worried. Tell me all about your week! How were classes? Any roommate problems? Are you making friends?" Renee questioned, rattling off questions like she was an interrogator. I had to take a breath before answering.

"It was good, I really like all my classes. My roommate is okay, we rarely see each other because our schedules are polar opposite. I'm making friends, Mom, don't worry." I found a pencil in my bag as I reached in the depths of my backpack for my planner.

"Some details would be great, baby," Renee said encouragingly.

"Well, I made a few friends in my Anthro class, I think we're going to catch lunch and a few dinners next week. I made a friend in my English class, too," I said, trying to fulfill her want for more details.

"Any cute boys in your classes?" Renee asked excitedly. I rolled my eyes before I flipped open the next week in my planner.

"I haven't been paying attention, I'm more focused on the professor," I answered.

"Bella, stay away from professors," Renee warned. Oh my gosh, my mother had her head in the gutter.

"Mom, you know that's not what I meant," I said with annoyance.

"It's fun teasing you, sweetie. How was seeing Charlie? Did you have a good time?" Renee asked, her voice hesitant.

"Yeah, it was great, Mom. It was hard at first, but it got easier," I admitted.

"What happened, honey?" Renee asked.

"I thought Charlie would hate me after I just picked up and left, but he didn't." I played with my fingers for a moment.

"He loves you, silly girl. You're his little girl, you could rob a bank and he would still love you," Renee said soothingly.

"You're right," I said, a smile forming on my lips.

"Besides, he'd be the first one on the scene if I did," I added with a chuckle.

"That's right. Did you spend time with Jacob?" Renee asked curiously.

"I did, he's a really sweet guy." I answered, as I fiddled with the contents of my backpack.

"That's good, honey. What did you two do?"

"Well, I was actually painting on First Beach when we ran into each other. We went back to his house and he showed me his cars, and then we went to a bonfire at his sister's house," I replied.

"He's a year younger than you, right?"

"Yeah, he's a senior in college and getting his certification to be a mechanic," I said, as I straightened up in my bed.

"Oh, that's great. Is he cute?" Renee asked.

"Mom," I huffed.

"It's a fair question!" Renee shot back.

"He is, but he's just a friend, Mom," I assured her.

"Okay, well make sure you go out this weekend. Maybe you'll meet another cute guy at a party," Renee suggested.

"Mom, there's more to college than cute guys," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You're right, but you work so hard. It's good to unwind," Renee countered. Despite Renee's desire to go to college, she was unable to because she had me.

After she found out she was pregnant with me, she received her G.E.D. and married Charlie soon after. College was always in her plans when she was in High School, and she was crushed she couldn't go.

I knew when I started college Renee would constantly hound me to make sure I was living up my college experience because she never had one.

"Did you go to any parties yet?" Renee asked, her voice shooting up an octave. When I was in High School, I didn't go to parties. During my time in Jacksonville I managed to inch out of my shell, but the idea of partying seemed foreign.

"Not yet, you know parties aren't my thing," I reminded her.

"Go to one this weekend with your friends. You don't have to drink, but at least try it out. You may like them, it's a great way to meet people," Renee suggested.

"My friend Ruby from English class talked about going to one this Friday, so we'll see." I played with the ends of my hair.

"That sounds great, baby, I'm proud of you."

"So how have you been? How's Phil?" I asked, eager to know how everything was with her.

"I miss you tons, it's not the same here without my girl. I'm keeping busy with this new cycling class the gym offers now. When you come and visit on fall break you should come with me. I'm also trying out this new juice cleanse, I think it'll help get some toxins out of my body," Renee rattled off.

"Phil's good, he's doing some training with his high school players, which means he's gone most nights when I get home," Renee added.

Phil and Renee were practically inseparable when I was around. They would go out on date nights every Friday night, sometimes going out on group dates or out to the movie theaters.

She signed them up for couple's salsa classes, which Phil reluctantly agreed to. Renee was smitten with Phil, and he was obviously in love with her.

"Oh okay, I'm sorry," I said, frowning.

"It's okay, honey, it's the way it is right now. I should probably let you get back to homework or whatever you were doing, I'm sure you've heard enough of your old mom," Renee said.

"I'm going to take this opportunity and remind you that people always think you're my sister," I said which earned a giggle from her.

"I still get carded sometimes, too," Renee said with a sigh of relief.

"I love you, Mom. I'll text you tomorrow, okay?" I said after taking a deep breath.

"I love you too, baby. Get some sleep and have fun."

I smiled wryly before we hung up. Renee was a roller coaster, full with high excitement. I played around with my phone for a few minutes before I realized a notification lit up my screen.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Glad you got back safe. II begged for the mac and cheese; I plan on eating the hell out of it.**

I felt my lips turn upwards into a smile as I laid my phone beside me. Looking at my backpack, I reread my notes I took on the readings for English class. An hour went by before I touched my phone again.

With a sigh, my fingers swept across the keypad for a response.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **I'm glad I contributed to left overs :)**

My phone thrummed again, but I ignored it instead focusing on the reading in front of me. Over time, the lines in the book began to blur together as I fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

I awoke to my alarm blaring; with a groan I threw my hand to mute the offending noise. Somehow I managed to roll out of bed before finding a pair of jeans and a tee shirt.

Each time I tried to put on my shoes, I ended up nearly face planting. I threw on a pair of converse before washing my face. I thanked whatever deity there was for the miracle of microwavable oatmeal.

I nearly sprinted out of my dorm room, trying to navigate the plethora of my roommates clothes spread across the floor. I had to run across campus for my first class of the day.

I breathed a deep sigh of relief when I reached the classroom. Other students were filtering in as I found a spot near the front of the lecture hall. My first class passed without a hitch, but with a reading quiz.

After my second class, my stomach was protesting in hunger. My last class of the day was English, which passed by after a long lecture on the importance of metaphors used in Charlotte Bronte's work.

While I was packing up my backpack, I heard my name called. I turned my head to the sound, and was flabbergasted.

In front of me was Angela Weber, the kindest friend I had in Forks.

"Angela," I greeted, clearly surprised.

"Bella, I didn't know you went here," she said, beaming at me.

"Yeah, I moved back," I replied.

"It's so good to see you, you look great," Angela said, adjusting her glasses.

"Thank you, you look awesome too," I murmured.

"Do you wanna catch lunch sometime and catch up?" Angela asked. Never in a million years did I imagine Angela would want to even say my name. I left Forks with the promise of keeping in touch with her, but I never did.

I associated people in Forks, my friends from High School, to Edward. In avoiding them, I hoped I could heal faster. However, this was farther from the truth, instead I learned that I was healing from him, not Forks.

"Yeah, absolutely!" I said, smiling brightly at her.

"Great, are you free now? All my classes are finished for today," Angela offered.

"Yeah, this was my last class too," I said.

"Awesome," she smiled. As we walked through campus to a dining hall, we chatted about our first impressions of the school. We talked about our class together, along with the tremendous amounts of reading.

Once we reached the dining hall, we began to catch up about high school.

"Did you like Jacksonville?" Angela asked as we began to saunter down the counters of food.

"I did, I loved the sunshine and the beach," I answered as I picked an apple and placed it on my plate.

"I bet, I hear Jacksonville has beautiful beaches. You went to live with your mom, right?"

"Yep, her and her husband," I answered.

"Did you like your high school?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, it was an adjustment from Forks, because it's a lot bigger. I really liked my teachers," I replied.

"We missed you, Bella. I mean-I missed you," Angela admitted.

"I missed you too, Angela. I'm so sorry I never kept in touch," I said as we looked for a table to sit down.

"It's okay, Bella, I understand," Angela said, compassionately. One of my biggest regrets when I left Forks was not keeping in touch with Angela. During my few months after the break up, she never pressured me to talk and always tried to draw me out of my self-imposed exile.

"Angela, I want to tell you something," I started, fidgeting with my hands.

"You can tell me anything," she said encouragingly.

"I was terrible to you. I acted like a child by ignoring you, while you continually were so kind to me by inviting me and including me in everything," I said, meeting her gaze hesitantly.

"You have been nothing but kind to me when I didn't deserve it, and for that I'm grateful," I said, my voice stronger. She reached across the table and gently squeezed my hand.

"Bella, you deserve kindness. You do, and yes you were not as engaged as you used to be, but you were going through something. We all deserve breaks, Bella, and please don't apologize," she said, her caring eyes meeting mine.

"You don't have to apologize for leaving, you needed to get away and I understand that. It's so good to see you, you look so much happier," Angela said. My cheeks reddened at her words.

"Thank you, I am happy," I said, finally meaning those words.

"Are you and Ben still dating?" I asked, and she beamed.

"Yeah, he actually goes here too. He'll be thrilled when I tell him I ran into you," Angela said, biting her lip.

"He was a good guy, I'm so happy for you," I said before sipping on my mug of coffee.

"Thanks, he's been so supportive of me. It's crazy to think we've been together for almost three years," Angela said, looking down as blush crept across her cheeks.

"It's great, Angela. You two are great together," I said, smiling. Ben was always such a sweet guy, and adored Angela.

"How about you, Bella? How are things with you?" Angela asked, clearly still not much for being in the spotlight.

"I'm good, Angela. I spent time with my Mom, which actually resurrected our relationship. I spent last weekend with Charlie, and it was really good," I answered, a smile reaching the corners of my lips.

"Any boys?" She asked curiously.

I could feel blush heat my cheeks as I shook my head.

"No, I've been on a few dates here and there, but nothing serious," I answered.

"That's good, Bella. You can focus on you and your classes," Angela said. She was mostly right, without a guy in the picture I could focus my attention on school. I'd learned that being single enabled me to continue to grow my relationship with my parents and have deeper friendships.

The last time I dated, I didn't balance my relationship with him and my relationship with friends and family. Instead, I had tunnel vision on my boyfriend, hardly coming up for air.

Two years later, I learned that a healthy relationship doesn't cause your other relationships to decay. There was a fear as well, starting over with someone knew and going through that process again.

The familiar fear of meeting their parents, baring yourself without make up to them for the first time, and being vulnerable again. However, with time I learned that with the right person all of those steps aren't as scary as I imagined them to be.

"Yeah, that and I can focus on friends," I said which earned a grin from Angela.

"That's a great way to look at it," Angela said in agreement.

"Hey, I'm thinking about going to Seattle to window shop, do you want to come with me?" Angela asked, her eyes brightening.

"I'd love to, what day were you thinking?" I asked, a smile brimming on my lips.

"I was thinking about Saturday, and we could go to lunch and make a day trip out of it," Angela said, excitement in her voice.

"That sounds great, I'm not that great of a shopper," I admitted with a chuckle.

"That's okay, I can teach you. You'll be a pro in no time," she assured me.

"Thanks, Angela, that would be great."

From there she caught me up on her last years of high school. We laughed, and it felt like we picked up right where we left off. During high school, Angela was always more mature and perceptive than I gave her credit for.

She was an incredibly loyal friend to me, considering I barely gave her the time of day.

She didn't hold those days against me and instead embraced me with open arms. After lunch we walked back to my dorm complex, since her dorm was on the way. Once I reached my dorm I navigated around my room in search of my laptop.

When I located it, I stuffed it into my backpack before setting course for the library. I opened the large doors in front of me before finding a chair to begin my classwork. I My phone thrummed in my backpack, I grabbed it before reading the text.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Hey Bella, hope your classes are going great. Currently eating your mac and cheese.**

I felt my chest vibrate with laughter as I shook my head.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **I'm glad you're loving the mac and cheese. I hope you're having a good (or as good as it can be) Monday.**

I sent the text before diving back into the depths of my textbooks. My phoned dinged a few more times, I knew one of the texts was from my mother. felt the chair next to me move; I traced my eyes to the perpetrator of the movement.

Eva, from my Anthro class, smiled at me as she put her computer down on the table.

"Is it okay if I sit next to you?" Eva asked cautiously.

"Absolutely," I assured her, scooting my chair farther so she could have space.

"Thanks, have you started on the Anthro reading?" Eva asked as she fiddled with a ringlet of her copper hair.

"I have, it's not too bad," I answered.

"I have a book report due in my French class," Eva said, turning her nose upwards.

"What French are you in?" I asked, my eyes growing wide.

"I'm in a French composition class," she answered.

"So you're fluent?" I asked.

"Yeah, my Dad is French," she replied.

"Wow," I murmured.

"So are you still up for going out on Friday?" Eva questioned as she played with the end of her pencil.

"Yeah," I said with a smile.

"Awesome, you can come over to my dorm and we can get ready together," Eva suggested.

"Sounds like a plan," I murmured. I grimaced when I realized that my wardrobe collection was hardly noteworthy, but I was fine with my simple wadrobe. Renee insisted on taking me shopping whenever the time arose, which meant I had more of a wardrobe than when I was sixteen.

"Yeah, you can bring your make up collection over and something to wear," Eva smiled. I blanched when I thought of my make up collection. 'Collection' was a stretch, instead it consisted of mascara and eye liner.

Renee pressed me about going to Sephora or Ulta almost every weekend when I lived in Jacksonville. I went twice, with her in tow and picked out a mascara and eye liner.

"My make up collection is a little lacking," I warned her.

"I can help you, I love doing make up. I've been obsessed since I was fifteen," she admitted.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I have a serious shopping problem," she laughed.

"I think I have the opposite problem," I said, playing with the cover of my textbook.

"Don't worry, soon enough I'll have you hooked," she promised with a wink. I rolled my eyes before shaking my head. The idea of make up made me grimace.

"I'll see you later, Bella, I'm off to a study group," she said with a sigh.

"Have fun!" I said, smiling at her.

"Right," she huffed before she packed her stuff up. From what I knew about Eva, she wasn't a big fan of her Calculous class. Eva loved humanities, not math and science. Eva hailed from a small town in rural Georgia.

Eva had a similar story to mine except she was engaged to the guy. I didn't know much about her past, but from what I gathered she and him were high school sweethearts.

I watched as Eva's long blonde hair swished behind her as she headed into a study room. My mind went back to my meeting with Angela. The way I remembered her in high school was vastly different from who she was now.

Angela was more self assured, however she kept her huge heart I took advantage of during High School. During my last months in Forks, I either ignored her or insisted on hanging out with her.

As I finished my class readings, I looked down at my phone and found a text message awaiting me.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Hey Bella, hope you're having a good (or good as it can be) Monday.**

I smiled as I read his text before I typed a response.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **Hey Jake! Thanks, class work is already picking up like crazy. How are you?**

Jake stuck out from any other guys I met. I sometimes forgot he was only a senior in High School. He was self assured without being conceited, he was calm and collected most of the time.

From what I knew and observed from him, he was patient. He showed that by not pushing me with asking about what happened years ago. He was less interested in what happened, from getting to know who I am now.

Perhaps that was the part I liked most about Jake. After another few hours of catching up on class work, I headed back to my dorm. Luna was out as usual, which left me by myself.

My phone thrummed before I looked down at it.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **I bet, you'll do great though. I'm good, just been helping Billy out with some stuff around the house.**

Jake was incredible with his father, from what I saw he was very patient. I knew Jake had to sacrafice a great deal to help his father out more at home. Billy was in a severe car accident when Jake was little, which claimed his wife's life.

Billy kept himself busy with helping out around the reservation. As my finger lingered over the send button, another notification lit up my phone. I pressed the send button before clicking on the next text message.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Eva**

 **Hey Bella, I was wondering if you could come with me tomorrow to get my hair cut. I know I'm a wimp, but I'd love the company. Hoping Anthro reading isn't killing you.**

 **XOXO,**

 **Eva**

I quickly typed out a response.

 **To: Eva**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **Of course! What time are you going?**

I sensed there was something going on so without a second thought I said yes. Eva responded promptly.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Eva**

 **Around 4ish? Does that work for you?**

I went over my schedule in my mind before I typed a response.

 **To: Eva**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **I'm finished with classes at two that day, so that works.**

I hit send before I started to prepare for bed. After completing my night time routine, Eva responded gratefully. I wondered if Eva was still struggling with the aftermath of her break up.

I knew from what she told me it was fairly recent, and the wound was still new. There was pain evident in Eva's eyes, although she put on a happy front. In our Anthro class, boys drooled over her.

I couldn't blame them, she was gorgeous and fully equipped with a soft accent. I realized I hadn't responded to Jake.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **That's really sweet of you, Jake. I'm apparently going to a hair salon for the first time in months so wish me luck.**

Renee pratically dragged me into a hair salon in Jacksonville because she insisted I had disaster worthy split ends. I allowed the hair stylist to cut off two inches of my hair along with layering it slightly.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **You're getting your hair cut?**

I laughed before responding.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **Nope, I'm too attached to my hair. I'm going with my friend Eva, she's having a hair emergency.**

Moments later my phone dinged again.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Oh. Well, have fun. What is a hair emergency?**

I laughed aloud before shaking my head.

 **To: Jacob Black**

 **From: Bella Swan**

 **Girls cut their hair after a break up, I guess it's therapeutic.**

Lena warned me to resist the urge to cut my hair or make a drastic change to my hair because I would regret it later. I was so glad I recieved that sound advice, or else I would probably have a buzz cut by now.

 **To: Bella Swan**

 **From: Jacob Black**

 **Huh. I never knew that.**

I laughed again before I rolled over on my side to plug my phone into my charger. I allowed my eyes to close; I was beyond caring that the lights were still on in the room. Instead, I let my mind drift to Jacob's face lighting up as he spoke about cars.

* * *

The next morning I woke up to the familiar sound of my alarm blaring. I cracked my eyes open before throwing my body out of bed. I grumbled as I stumbled into the bathroom, managing to run a brush through my hair before splashing water on my face.

I found cereal boxes underneath my bed and managed to eat a few handfuls of it before settling on a pair of faded jeans and a loose fitting shirt. Before I grabbed my bag, I found my converses at the foot of my bed.

Luna was fast asleep as I quietly crept out of the dorm. I let my mind drift to running over the class work I had to finish as I walked to class. In the mornings, campus was decently quiet although it grew more alive as the hours went on.

As I walked into the lecture hall, I surveyed the room for a seat. I salvaged a seat closer than I usually sat to the front of the room. I grabbed my notebook before glancing down at my phone.

Class started without a hitch. The remaining classes for the day passed by seamlessly. After an hour in the library spent on studying for my math class, I packed up my notebooks into my backpack.

Eva instructed me to meet her at the bus stop, since she was getting her hair done in Seattle. I found her looking down at her phone before she smiled half-way at me. Her smile didn't reach her hazel eyes.

"Hey," I greeted warmly.

"Hey, Bella, thank you for coming with me," she said, smiling as brightly as she could at me.

"Absolutely," I smiled at her. I tried to create a strategy of how to handle the situation, I could ask her point blank what was going on, or I could just be a shoulder to cry on. I chose the second option.

"What type of hair cut are you planning on getting?" I asked curiously as we walked onto the bus steps.

"I was thinking about layering my hair, but having it cut so it hits just below my collar bones," Eva responded, gesturing with her fingers how short she wanted it cut. Eva's hair reached to the middle of her back.

"That's pretty," I commented. The bus began to start as she bit her lip.

"I just want a change," Eva said hesitantly. I knew she wasn't just talking about her hair. I could remember my utterance of those words years ago.

"Change is good, Eva," I said, gently squeezing her hand. I could see unshed tears well up her eyes as she looked over at me. She collected her thoughts before she sighed.

"You know, I came to U-Dub to start fresh," Eva said, with a frown. I felt my heart swell in my chest at her words. She and I were more similar than I realized.

"You're from Georgia, right?" I asked.

"Yeah, from outside Macon. It's so small, I just needed to get away finally," she murmured.

"Small town?" I guessed.

"Yeah, full of gossip. Not many people get out of there, it's like a cycle," she admitted.

"Women go to SEC schools and join sororities before finding a frat guy and marrying him. Either that or people get hitched right out of high school. I always thought that would be my story too," Eva added as her teary eyes met mine.

"I dated this guy, Josh, since we were freshmen in college. He was the captain of the football team, and I was a cheerleader. I always had good grades, but Josh didn't. He and I were the perfect couple," she continued.

I waited for her to collect herself before she continued.

"He was dreamy and made all these promises to me. He was absolutely perfect, like a real life Prince Charming," Eva said.

"My daddy loved him and Mama was already acting like we were married," Eva added with a chuckle.

"Everything was perfect until our senior year. All the sudden, he got really possessive and constantly had to know where I was. I couldn't go to the parties anymore unless he was with me. He checked to make sure I was where I said I was," Eva said, tears starting to fall. My grip on her hand tightened as she continued.

"We got into a big fight one night, and he grabbed my wrist tighter than he ever had. He cornered me into a wall, and gripped my shoulders so tight while he yelled at me. The next morning, I had angry bruises blooming on my shoulders and my wrist," she said, feeling her wrist like the bruise was still there.

She paused a moment before she continued.

"He apologized the next day with flowers and promised he'd never do it again; I believed him. He promised there wouldn't be any more 'next times'. However, there were so many apologies and flowers. The bruises only got worse. One night, he gave me a black eye. I said I tripped and he was more apologetic than ever." Eva said, putting a stray hair behind her ear.

"It started to get better because I did everything he said. Then one night, he proposed and I said yes. He promised he'd get me a beautiful little house with a wrap around porch, like I always wanted. Not even a week later, the cycle started again." As she spoke, I held onto her hand tighter.

Eva had been through so much. Her resilience floored me.

We reached our stop, and Eva found the chic hair salon she Googled for. We waited for a stylist and she continued her story.

"I thought I could change him, or that if I did exactly as he said he could turn back into the sweet boy I fell in love with. Each day was a gamble with him, I never could predict what mood he'd be in. Until one day, he got mad at me because I was two minutes late for our date, we were looking at venues. Once we got home, he screamed at me. He promised me no man would ever love me as much as he did, and I just needed to behave. He threw me against the wall, and..." her eyes watered up and her voice cracked as she spoke.

I could imagine a million possibilities of what happened that night. Did he break a bone? Did he make her have to go to the hospital? As her watery hazel eyes met mine, pain filled them.

Immediately, I realized the damage toll was worse than I imagined. I knew he stripped her of every compliment she'd ever received, and replaced them with his voice. He took away her ability to love herself.

"Hit my head against the wall so hard I woke up to his face staring over me. He told me we couldn't go to a hospital, so he found a compress in his fridge and put it on my head. I knew I had to leave, or he'd kill me," Eva sobbed. I held her against me in a tight hug as her hot tears hit my shoulder.

It didn't matter that we were in the middle of a hair salon.

"And I don't know, I want to take my life back. Maybe it's silly, but I want change, and maybe changing the one thing he always raved about will help," Eva said, wiping her tears with the back of her hand.

I didn't have the words to soothe her pain, but maybe I could shine light on something.

"Are you doing this for you?" I asked her. She thought for a moment before she nodded.

"Okay," I smiled gingerly.

"Thank you for telling me your story, I'm so sorry you went through that," I said with a frown.

"But Eva, you deserve to live again. Living again means doing things for yourself again, and allowing yourself to grieve. But please don't forget how incredible you are, and how your life isn't close to over. He doesn't get to rob your life away, or take away your future. You deserve to heal and love yourself again," I said, meeting her gaze. The words came out of my mouth with intensity.

"You deserve to accept love from others, and one day all of those nightmares," I said, wincing at the end.

"Will be memories, bad memories. And you will look at the future, at life as beautiful changes where the journey matters more than the destination. But today, you're allowed to cry and grieve and bear this pain-to be vulnerable," I added.

A hair stylist met us moments later, and Eva told her exactly what she wanted. After forty five minutes, and the blood circulation in my hand being cut off from the intensity of her hand squeeze, Eva looked at herself in the mirror.

I could see the beginning of a watery smile spread across her lips.

"You're beautiful," I murmured. I knew she couldn't see it, not with the pains of her past, but I knew one day she'd be able to see herself as the smart beautiful woman she was.

I knew I couldn't take away her pain because the wounds were more than skin-deep. However, I remembered Lena being there, listening to my own story two years ago in her kitchen.

She gave me the gift of someone listening without the intent to fix the problem. I knew I couldn't fix her, only Eva could do that. I could help her as she stumbled and be there when she needed me.

Ultimately the choice to heal was up to Eva, just like Lena laid that reality to me. If I could pass on the torch, pass on the truth of healing-that it's messy and painful and not glamorous with a gorgeous Prince Charming waiting for you at the finish line like the movies portrayed.

Instead, healing was in the nights of tears and small victories until looking back at the mountain that you climbed was a series of pebbles.

She turned to me, and for the first time since I met her I saw a new emotion emerge in her eyes: hope.

* * *

 **I know that was a lot of Eva, but it was very important for Bella's new chapter in her life-helping her friends heal by passing the torch so to speak. Jacob will be in the next chapter more prevalent.**

 **Did y'all catch that she had her first dream of Jacob *insert heart-eyed emogis***

 **What did y'all think of the meeting between Angela and Bella?**

 **PS-If any of you are in an abusive relationship or have been I strongly encourage getting the help you deserve. I'll leave you with some toll-free hotlines.**

 **National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline**

 **National Domestic Violence Hotline**

 **National Youth Crisis Line**

 **National Sexual Assault Hotline**

 **National Center for Victims of Crime***  
 ***Monday-Friday 8:30am-8:30pm ET**

 **These resources are good as well:**

 **National Domestic Violence Hotline (and website)**

 **One Love Foundation**

 **Leave me a review to let me know what you thought!**

 **-Princessinblues**


	9. Running For You

**Thank you all so much for the feedback! I am so sorry that some of you aren't satisfied with the pace of this story. This chapter begins the changing tide in this story.**

 **I don't like stories where Bella and Jake immediately get together and all is right in her world. Because as we know, Bella needed to fix herself before Jake could come into the picture.**

 **Bella is much more cautious because she still carries the baggage from Edward, although she has in my opinion shown incredible growth. Feel free to send me a PM if you're confused or displeased with this story, I'm open to constructive criticism.**

 **This chapter is a good 80% Jake so enjoy. Let me know what y'all think by dropping me a review!**

 **PS: Bella's thoughts are in italics.**

* * *

 _ **But if the rain starts fallin, fallin on you**_  
 _ **And your heart starts breaking, breaking in two**_  
 _ **If the light starts fading, baby don't move**_  
 _ **Just say my name, stay right there**_  
 _ **I'll come running for you, hey**_

 _ **I'm gonna miss you**_  
 _ **Baby there's no way that I can go with you**_  
 _ **So go on and chase it**_  
 _ **I know, I know, I know**_  
 _ **You can almost taste it**_  
 _ **Yeah, time's a wastin'**_

 _ **But if the rain starts fallin, fallin on you**_  
 _ **And your heart starts breakin, breakin in two**_  
 _ **If the light starts fadin, baby don't move**_  
 _ **Just say my name, stay right there**_  
 _ **I'll come running for you.**_

 ** _~Running For You-Kip Moore_**

* * *

Angela and I decided to reschedule for next week, since she had to go home unexpectedly this weekend. As Friday rolled around, I became more and more anxious at the thought of a party.

When I talked to Renee a few nights prior, she was over the moon. She was basically asking me to send her pictures, which was strange but in Renee style. As I finished my last class, I walked back to my dorm.

Eva promised me she'd loan me a dress fit for dancing. Eva was over the moon at the prospect of finally attending a college party. I wasn't too keen on the idea, but I didn't want her to go alone.

I was more of her babysitter that night, which suited me. I headed over to the dining hall for dinner, which consisted of lackluster mac and cheese and chicken nuggets. I decided earlier to keep my drinking cap at one beer.

In Jacksonville, Renee tried to warm me up to the college lifestyle by encouraging to have a glass of wine at dinner some nights. I rarely actually drank because it wasn't my style and I knew I was a light weight.

After dinner, I dropped my backpack at the dorm before grabbing a pair of black flats and heading over to Eva's. I didn't care how much crap I would get from Eva for wearing flats instead of heels, I wasn't about to break my neck.

My balance was already questionable, I didn't want to find out how it was on a slippery beer stained floor. I knocked on Eva's door and she enthuastically greeted me with a hug. She was already dressed in a skintight black dress with cut outs and stilettos.

"Seriously, Bella, flats?" She asked, gesturing to my flats in my hand.

"I have the balance of a new born foal," I reminded her. She rolled her eyes at my attempt of humor before she pulled me into her dorm.

"I think I'm going to curl your hair tonight, you have such gorgeous long hair," she said as she sat me in her chair.

"It used to be almost down to my waist," I laughed.

"Were you a hippy or something?" Eva questioned, raising her eyebrows.

 _A zombie maybe._

"No, I just didn't want to get it done," I shrugged. She split my hair into sections before taking a curling wand and holding a strand close to her.

"So do you have a boyfriend or something?" Eva questioned. Her question caught me off guard.

"No, why?" I asked. My mind traced back to Jacob. _He's your friend, Bella._ I shook my head to rid that thought.

"You just act like you do, you don't ever talk about guys you think are cute," Eva explained. I stopped looking for guys for a while during my post-break up stage. I kept to myself.

After I went out on a date with Ken, I started to date again. None of the guys were serious because I knew I had to leave Jacksonville for school; I didn't want to be tied down again.

I always imagined when I did decide to have a relationship again he would be patient, kind, funny, and loyal. The guys I met so far in college fit none of those qualities; they were too absorbed in themselves and the next party.

"Their personalities aren't cute," I said, scrunching up my nose. Eva laughed as she held firmly onto one section of my hair.

"That's the truth, but there's nothing wrong in just meeting guys and parties and not seeing them the next morning," Eva reminded. I wasn't that type of girl, and although I grew from who I was when I left Forks, I maintained more traditional ideals.

I updated my standards, for a man instead of a boy. I wanted to be taken out on dates or have lazy days instead of crazy nights I wouldn't remember.

"It's not me, Eva. I'm not sure if I'm ready to date because of school and trying to mend broken relationships with my parents," I said, twiddling my thumbs.

"That's okay, Bella. It's okay to not be ready yet, but be open to it," she suggested. After a half hour, my hair cascaded down my back in loose ringlets. Luckily the dress she picked out for me was a simple fitted black dress with sleeves.

The surprise was in the back of the dress which was accented with an open back. She honored my request for light make up, since I didn't like wearing a ton of make up.

She grabbed my arm and we walked to the taxi waiting outside for us.

* * *

When Eva and I arrived at the party, Eva immediately flocked to the dance floor. I nervously followed behind her before she pulled me onto the dance floor with her.

"You're not going to stand there like a creepy teacher chaperone at a prom. You're going to dance," she murmured, her eyes flickering with excitement.

The last time I remembered dancing was with Edward at prom. As my thoughts went back to that day, pain didn't flare up in my chest.

Instead I saw myself in a shiny beautiful blue dress while swaying awkwardly with Edward. I remember at the time how complete I felt in the comfort in his arms and the way my heart fluttered as his warm topaz eyes flickered every moment down to mine.

My memory cut to Jacob cutting in dressed in jeans and a ripped tee shirt. At the time I thought of him as so juvenile compared to Edward.

I realized now I had the situation all backwards: it was Edward who was more childish in his skittish cautious behavior, walking around me like I was a glass doll.

Back then I believed that he was exercising such caution in an act of love, but looking back it was an act of control.

My mind flickered back to the present as Eva took my hand and began dancing with me. The lights flickered into low lights as the music blared from the cheap stereo.

The 'DJ' was dressed in ripped jeans and a beer stained collared shirt. I felt myself constantly bumped up against as drunk sweaty bodies pressed closer to me.

I attempted a smile as Eva and I danced, she was much more graceful than I was. Five minutes later, I realized a tall boy with a button-down shirt and ripped jeans took Eva by the hips. He began grinding on her, one hand found purchase on her hip while the other was dedicated to holding the cheap beer in a plastic solo cup.

I gave Eva a look, but she shot me a look back showing me she knew about the unknown guy behind her. She didn't seem too bothered as she grinded up against him.

I watched as he pushed aside her newly cut blonde tresses to whisper in her ear. He left her for a moment before she gestured she was okay by a thumbs up.

I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing she was comfortable and consenting to his behavior. I walked out of the dance floor, in search of a bathroom.

After passing a few bedrooms with couples making out on the half-made beds, I found a bathroom at the end of the hall.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I could finally hear myself think. The bathroom reeked of stale beer and throw up, but I had a moment of peace.

After a few minutes of getting my bearings back, I walked confidently back to the main room. I found Eva easily under the flashing lights, dancing with the same guy.

I started to dance again, and a few moments later I felt a large hand on my hip.

 _What the heck? He didn't even ask permission to dance with me? Who does he think he is?_

I took a glance behind me and spotted a guy easily a foot taller than me. He had a muscular build and was dressed in a tee shirt with a pocket on the chest along with worn out jeans. I decided I needed to turn around so this guy could actually have the chance to make the right choice.

"Hi, my name is Bella," I greeted as I turned around to see his face. His brown eyes met mine as he let out a lopsided grin.

"Hi Bella, I'm Patrick. Can I get you a beer?" He asked, surprise coloring his tone.

"I'm okay, thank you. You can however have this time to redeem yourself," I said, stronger than I expected.

"For what?" He asked with a chuckle.

"You were grinding on me and didn't ask if I was okay with it," I explained, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I thought since you were dancing…" He started.

"I understand, but I was dancing by myself," I reminded.

"Can I dance with you?" Patrick asked, his eyes hopeful.

"Yes," I said. There wasn't any harm in dancing with him. He grinned before he turned my body around and resuming our previous position.

I wasn't accustom to this body movement that was apparently dancing. I felt like dancing was defined by ball room dancing, or swaying back in forth.

This action that we were engaging in felt more like foreplay. He kept one hand planted on my left hip, his arm wrapping around my waist.

He pressed his cheek against my curled hair. I could smell his breath, which was perfumed with cheap beer.

I was surprised that there was a feeling seeded deep in my belly: this was wrong. I'm not sure how long we 'danced' for. He eventually left, which gave time for another guy to cut in. He spun me around to face him.

"Hi, I'm Leo and I really want to dance with you. Would you like to dance with me?" He asked, hope in his eyes.

Leo was much different than Patrick. For one, he wasn't nearly as intoxicated. I nodded and he grinned by turning me back around and dancing with me much slower.

He was much more smooth, and pushed my hair back to my ear.

"Do you wanna get out of here?" He asked. I looked at him hesitantly before he clarified.

"I just wanna talk and get to know you more," he explained.

"Yeah," I nodded. He guided me away from the crowd by holding my hand gingerly. He took me into the hallway and set me against the wall.

"What year are you? I think I'd remember such a pretty girl," he smiled.

"I'm a first year," I answered. He pressed one hand on the side of my face.

"That explains it, I'm a third year. I'm one of the brothers here," he added.

"Oh, cool," I smiled.

"So Bella, did you come alone tonight?" Leo asked, one hand on my cheek.

"I came with my friend, Eva," I replied.

"You're single?" He asked.

"Yeah," I answered.

"I can't believe such a hot girl like you is single," he grinned shaking his head.

"But I am grateful for it," he smiled as he led me into a unused bedroom. The wallpaper was chipping off the wall and the bed creaked as we sat down.

"So you from around here?" He asked curiously.

"No, I'm from Phoenix, but my Dad lives in Forks," I responded.

"Oh, so you know your way around, huh?" He asked.

"Yeah, I'm not as familiar with Seattle, but I'm familiar enough," I shrugged.

"Can I get you a beer?" he asked sweetly.

"Sure," I murmured. I wasn't planning on drinking a lot, since I was mostly there to supervise Eva. He grinned in response. I requested to come with him, since I didn't know if he was going to slip something in my drink.

He ordered my beer from the bartender who filled my cup up with beer. Leo thanked him before he handed it to me. I took a sip as he walked me back to the bedroom.

"So what's your major, Bella?" He asked curiously.

"I'm hoping English," I answered. I took another sip before he responded.

"That's really cool, our English program is really good here," he smiled. We talked for a solid fifteen minutes, mostly me talking before he switched gears.

"You see, Bella, I love first years. I bet this is your first party? I bet you're such a good girl, aren't you?" He asked as he stroked my cheek.

I felt my head begin to fog up as the pit of my stomach froze in fear.

"You see, Bella, we hold these parties and try to get as many first years as possible. First years are so innocent," he murmured as he stroked my cheek.

"I bet you're such a good girl, aren't you?" He asked before he pressed his lips against mine. His lips were demanding and his tongue thrust itself into my mouth.

He pushed me under his weight and I felt sick to my stomach. I tried to push him off of me, but it was useless. He grounded me further into the bed. I decided to let myself slack as he began his pursuit. His hand went up the side of my dress before he ripped the zipper down.

I waited to summon all my strength. I pressed my leg up closer to his crotch before I popped my knee with all the force I had into his crotch. He doubled over in pain as I stumbled out of the room. I looked over on the dance floor and found Eva, still on the dance floor.

I grabbed her arm.

"I need to get out of here," I said, my voice weak.

"Okay, I'm going to stay but I'll call a cab." She murmured. She whisked out her phone effortlessly and told the address.

"Wait outside, okay? Lock the door behind you," she said softly. I nodded as my mind felt hazy. I sprinted to the door, stumbling as I went.

The cab came a few moments later. I managed to say my dorm name through the fogginess in my head. I felt extremely thirsty along with my stomach feeling uneasy.

As soon as the cab driver got to my dorm, I stuffed money in his hand before stumbling out of the car. I barely made it inside my dorm building.

As each moment passed, my mind became to grow more and more unclear. My vision became less focused, and the stairs seemed to move as I crawled up them.

I made it to my dorm room and somehow stuck my keys in the dorm. I couldn't believe this was the effect of having one drink. I realized I couldn't be alone like this so I picked up my cell phone.

I barely managed to dial Jake's number.

Jake picked up on the first ring.

"Bella?" Jake said.

"Hi, Jake," I slurred.

"Bella, what's wrong? Are you drunk?" He asked, growing more and more apprehensive.

"I only had one drink," I murmured.

"It doesn't sound like that. Did you get your drink yourself?" Jake asked.

"No, I walked with Leo to get it tonight," I murmured, the words coming off my parched lips.

"Bella, I think he may have slipped something in your drink. Are you away from him?" He asked nervously.

"Yeah, I'm back in my…my….dorm," I said, my words coming out weirdly.

"Okay, Bella, is your roommate there?" He asked.

"No, she's out," I answered, barely able to turn my head to check.

"Okay, Bella, I'm coming to get you, okay? Can you stay on the phone with me, sweetheart?" Jake asked, his words coming out stronger.

"Yeah," I bobbled my head.

"Can you sit up against your dresser?" Jake asked cautiously.

"You mean where I put my clothes?" I giggled.

"Sure, sure. Lean your back against the drawer so you're sitting up, okay?"

"Okay, this is silly," I said, shaking my head. As I shook my head, my head swam.

"This is important, sweetheart. Keep talking to me, okay? You need to stay awake," he said, anxiousness clear in his voice.

"Okay," I said.

"How many drinks did you have?" He asked, worry coloring his tone.

"One I think," I said leaning my head back against the dresser.

"In a solo cup?" He asked.

"Yeah, it wasn't all the way full," I said, letting a giggle out.

"Okay, sweet girl. I'm going to be there as soon as I can," Jake assured me.

"Jake this is so silly! I feel so weird like there's colors and the wall is the ceiling," I mused. My eyelids began to flutter close.

"I need you to stay with me, Bella. I need to hear your sweet voice, okay?" He said after a long moment. We kept talking for a few hours.

"Bella, what floor do you live on?" Jake questioned.

"Umm…The fourth," I replied thinking hard.

"Is your door unlocked?" Jake asked.

"Yeah, I couldn't get the key out," I sobbed.

"It's okay, sweetheart. I'm coming up the stairs right now. Do you know what room number you are?" He asked soothingly.

"Four-twelve," I replied, barely managing to keep my eyes open.

"Okay, I'm going to open your door, but it's just me, okay?" He reminded soothingly.

"Jake, he…he…ripped my dress," I said, with a drunken sob. I could hear a covered up growl on the other end.

"I can get you a shirt, okay? You can wear one of mine, I have a blanket for you," Jake assured me.

"I'm so stupid," I said, tears coloring my line of vision.

"You're not, baby girl. I'm opening your door right now, okay?" A moment later, my doorknob clattered open and a worried Jake entered my room.

He saw my slumping body.

"Can you stand up?" Jake asked worriedly.

"Yeah," I said. Did he think I was totally incompetent? As I stood up, I faltered and he caught me.

"I'm going to carry you, okay? I'm going to grab some things for you. Where are your bras and underwear?" He asked.

I snickered, "why do you want those?"

"You need a clean set of clothes, I'm not pulling anything," he said, sitting me down to my former position up against the dresser. I pointed to the drawer. He grabbed a few pairs of each.

He saw the bag I packed earlier in the night for my trip to Forks.

"Did you already pack a bag for this weekend?"

"Yeah," I nodded. He slung the bag on one shoulder before picking me up bridal style.

"I'm too heavy," I complained.

"You're light as a feather," he assured me.

"I feel like a puddle," I giggled. He shook his head before he shut off the light. He locked my door behind us, and jogged down the stairs.

"I really don't feel so good," I murmured, my stomach starting to feel queasy.

"I know, sweetheart. I'm going to take you to a hospital, okay?" He said softly.

"No hospitals! No hospitals!" I nearly screamed.

"Bella, you may have been drugged," he reminded softly.

"He didn't rape me," I murmured softly. He looked into my eye for a moment relief coloring his expression.

"He did enough," he reminded, pain causing a frown on his face.

"It's all my fault," I cried softly as he placed me carefully in the shotgun seat of his car. He wrapped a blanket he brought around me before holding my face gingerly in my hands.

"It's not your fault," he whispered his breath fanning across my face. I felt warm in his hands before he let my face go. Moments later he sat in the driver's seat and clicked his seat belt.

He handed me a trash bag.

"What's this for?" I asked weakly.

"Just in case you get sick," he replied. He turned onto the interstate and I leaned back into the seat.

"Sip on this water if you can," he said softly, gesturing to the bottle of water in the console.

"I'm afraid I'm going to throw it up," I said, shaking my head.

"It's okay if you do, but it's good to have fluids in your system right now. There's a lot of crap in there right now, so if you throw up it's not the end of the world," he said.

"Can you talk to me?" I asked softly, my words still slurring.

"What do you want to talk about?" Jake asked as he briefly looked over at me.

"Anything," I said, starting to feel icky.

"Well, I did eat your left overs for lunch the other day," he said with a chuckle.

"I know food is probably the last thing you wanna hear about right now," he added, guilt coloring his expression.

"It's okay," I assured him, putting my hand on the console. I drank a sip of the bottle of water Jake had for me.

"Do you want me to drive you to Charlie's?" Jake asked softly as we grew closer to Forks.

"No, I don't want him to see me like this," I said, tears rolling down my face. His pained expression met mine.

"It's your choice to tell him or not but he loves you and he's not going to be mad at you," Jake assured me.

"Yes he is," I cried.

"He may be mad for five seconds, but he won't blame you for what happened tonight. It's not your fault and he loves you," Jake reminded me.

"I just don't him to see me right now. He already gets enough of this at work all day," I said my stomach beginning to turn.

"Is it okay if I take you to my house?" Jake asked softly. I nodded and gripped my stomach.

"Do you feel sick? I can pull over…" Jake offered.

"I'm okay," I assured him. He reached his house just in time. I opened the door and promptly vomited and dry heaved. He raced over to me and held my hair back.

Tears leaked from my eyes as I took a deep breath afterward. I held my stomach and peered at an anxious Jake.

"I'm so sorry," I blubbered.

"It's okay," he said, pushing my hair back from my face. He grabbed napkins from his console and handed them to me. I wiped my mouth off.

He helped me steady myself.

"I'm going to carry you, okay?" He said peering down to my eyes. As soon as I nodded, he picked me up like I was a sack of flour.

He opened the front door with ease and laid me on his bed.

"I'm going to run and get your bag, okay? You can change into these if you want," he said, being the gentleman by looking into my eyes amid my state of dress.

I could feel blush pool in my cheeks as I realized I was still in my ripped dress. He closed the door behind him before I attempted to get off the remnants of my dress.

Somehow I managed to get it off, but seconds later I made a stumble for the bathroom. I reached the toilet just in time and emptied my stomach again.

Jake came back seconds later.

"Bella?" He called.

"Bathroom," I wheezed. He opened the bathroom door, almost swinging the door off the hinges. He looked down at me for a moment before once again choosing to be the gentleman.

He opened my bag and fished out my underwear for me.

"I'll be right out here if you need me," he said as he handed me clothes. I managed to put on my underwear without too much trouble. However the sleeves of his tee shirt were more difficult.

I caught a whiff of myself and scrunched my nose.

"Jake?" I called.

"Are you okay, Bella?" Jake asked worriedly.

"Yeah, is it okay if I take a shower?" I asked.

"Are you sure that's the best idea?" He questioned.

"I can sit in the shower," I said.

"It's up to you, I'll go get you a fresh towel," he said before he left. Seconds later I heard a curt knock on the bathroom door. He opened the door inches before slipping a towel to me.

Getting into the shower was a struggle for me, but somehow I managed to slip into the shower. I felt less gross as I showered as I effectively washed the stale stench of cheap beer off of me.

Once I exited the shower I dried myself off before changing into one of Jake's faded ACDC tee shirt that fit more like a dress on me.

My wet hair fell on my back as I found a pair of shorts in my bag for me to put under Jake's shirt. I splashed a little water on my face before I felt my stomach turn again.

Jake knocked on the door to check if I was alright. He burst through the door as I wretched and ran to my side to hold my hair back.

"I think you have a career path in holding hair," I said, still dazed. I saw Jake's impish grin for the first time that night.

"Only for you, Bells," he laughed. He studied me for a moment before he realized blush colored my cheeks.

"You look tiny in my shirt," he said, observing the way the shirt fell just above my knees.

"You're huge," I reminded him. He handed me a bottle of water.

"Can you drink half of this before you go to sleep?" Jake asked, helping me up from my crouched position.

I nodded, which caused my head to swim. He picked me up effortlessly as he saw me teeter.

He laid me on his bed as much as I protested.

"Jake, this is your bed," I said, complaining.

"I have a hot date with the couch tonight," Jake winked. I rolled my eyes at his humor.

"Jake…" I murmured.

"I'm fine, Bella. Stop worrying about me," Jake whispered.

"I'm worrying for your back." I said, knowing the couch wouldn't be a comfortable choice for him.

"I have a young back, old lady," he teased.

"Old lady?" I retorted.

"I'm just teasing you, Bells. You're barely a year older than me." He shut off the lights as I finished drinking half the bottle of water.

"I'm gonna have to pee later," I giggled. I could imagine Jake rolling his eyes.

"That wouldn't be the worst thing for you right now, you need to drink up." He came over and situated me on the bed. He pulled his quilt up so it reached my chin.

"If you need anything, I'm right down the hallway. Get some sleep," he murmured softly, his breath hitting my ear. I nodded my head into his hand which was beside my head.

"Okay, thanks Jake," I said with a smile spreading across my lips. As I closed my eyes and grew closer to dream land, I heard Jake's voice.

"Goodnight, sweetheart," Jake said before he laid a feather-light warm kiss to my forehead.

* * *

Sun crept through the window shades as I scrunched my eyes closed. My head ached with pain radiating from the center. I threw an arm over my face before groaning. By flipping over I realized I should have fallen off of my dorm room bed.

I looked around the small beige room that encompassed me and slowly realized I was at Jake's house. I remembered bits and pieces of the night before although fear was blooming in me at the thought of what came out of my mouth.

I recalled meeting Leo at the party and his sweaty body on top of mine. I remembered vividly running down the hallway of the frat house half sobbing as I held the remnants of my dress together.

I stumbled into the bathroom and caught a glimpse of my dishevel appearance. My hair didn't look as terrible as I imagined, instead my hair fell in soft waves down my back.

My cheeks were redder than usual along with my eyes looking bleary. I splashed some water on my face before scavenging my bag for my tooth brush. I brushed my teeth before I exited the bathroom.

My forehead was still killing me as I walked slowly down the hallway. On the kitchen counter laid a note with my name scrawled on it.

 _Good morning, Bells,_

 _I had to run out for a while, but I made you some eggs before I left. I suck at cooking so I'm apologizing now. Make sure you're drinking a lot of water-I know you have a killer hang over._

 _Be back soon,_

 _Jake_

His kindness made my heart thump faster in my chest. I found the eggs Jake had prepared for me. Although they were burned, the gesture alone floored me. I finished as much of my plate as possible before I turned to the water.

Jake left directions on the counter for how to work the television, however I rarely watched television. I found a book in my bag before I sat on Jake's bed reading. Reading caused my head ache to persist so I had to put the book down.

I hoped that I didn't say anything too incriminating from the night before. I found a notification on my phone from Eva, assuring me she was alright. I had no memory of texting her the night before.

I had flashes of the night before, but I was relieved she was okay. She insisted on how I was doing, since she knew I had a rough night. I assured her I was fine before I resumed staring at the ceiling.

Jake was vastly different from any men I'd met. He wasn't Prince Charming, or even close to it. Instead, he was imperfect and preferred small acts instead of big gestures.

He took care of me the night before without being controlling and instead allowed me to call the shots. He clearly was patient with me, dealing with whatever drugged jargon I'd said.

I heard the door squeal open before I heard Jake's heavy footsteps creak along the distressed floorboards. He opened the door to his room softly before peeking his head in.

"Good morning, Bella, how are you feeling?" Jake asked softly as he opened the door fully before walking in.

"I've felt better," I admitted with a frown. He studied me for a moment before he brushed a few strands of hair away from my face.

"How's your head?" Jake whispered as he pressed gently against my forehead.

"Not so great," I sighed.

"I don't think it's a good idea to take medicine right now. Did you eat something?" Jake asked as he began to massage my forehead.

"I ate your eggs," I answered.

"Were they okay? I know they're burned but I promise I didn't burn the coffee."

"Jake, the gesture meant everything to me," I reminded him. Though pain radiated through my head, Jake's warm gestures made it easier. His eggs were possibly the most disgusting scrambled eggs I'd ever tasted, but it didn't matter.

He set aside the time and energy to make them for me, so that meant everything. I was still antsy around him because I was embarrassed about my actions the night before.

It was out of character for me to call Jake up like that, when I was inebriated. Usually, I liked to take care of myself and put my needs aside. I was genuinely terrified the other night because I thought I was being responsible.

I only had one beer, though I was acting more drunk than I should have been.

"I'm really sorry about last night," I admitted, staring at him in the eyes instead of resorting to the tile floor below me.

"Bella," Jake started.

"No, no, let me say this. It wasn't fair to you to make you drive three hours to come pick me up and have me puke in your house, sleep in your clothes, kick you out of your bed, and listen to my drunken jargon. It's not like me to do that," I admitted, meeting his gaze.

"To do what?" Jake asked, crossing his arms around his chest as he grew closer to me.

"To need a knight in shining armor," I said with a huff. I let go of that fantasy a long time ago. Jake chuckled and shook his head.

"You never needed a knight in shining armor, that's for little girls," Jake said, as he walked closer to me.

"You deserve a man who will walk beside you and do life with you, and I'm very sorry that asshole from last night wasn't him," Jake said, speaking with more intensity.

"You had a bad night, Bells, we all have them. If I see that son of a bitch I'm going to..." Jake said, starting to tremble. Jake looked like a kettle about to boil over.

"Jake?" I called softly.

"I'm safe," I reminded him, walking the remaining distance over to him.

"Bella, don't get too close to me right now..." Jake warned, his dark anguished eyes meeting mine. I wasn't scared of him, but there was something to him shaking like a leaf. He gripped onto the counter and an almost animalistic expression crossed his face.

I was puzzled, he was almost ready to pounce. His actions were so uncharacteristic of him, usually he was calm and collected. In this instance, he was ready to erupt like a volcano.

It reminded me almost of when Edward's thirst rippled through him. Edward's eyes would grow darker, almost to an ebony color. Jake looked nearly as menacing, but I was expecting to feel fear at his behavior.

Instead I felt strangely calm, I was used to weird. I was used to this inhuman behavior, and maybe that's what scared me most. A million questions swirled around in my head about him, and I had a nagging feeling in my stomach there was something he was hiding.

* * *

 **Whoa, talk about an action filled chapter. What did you think of the creep Leo? And Bella calling up Jake? Jake was so sweet in this chapter. Let me know what y'all thought about Jake and Bella in this chapter and what you think will happen next.**

 **Sorry for the cliff hanger, I promise things will be cleared up soon! Leave me a review :)**

 **-Princessinblues**


	10. Keep Me In Mind

**Hey y'all I'm so sorry for the delay! I had my mother-in-law over for the week. I love her tremendously, but the amount of work I had to put in to making the house presentable was insane.**

 **I should be able to update more often, now that my husband is deployed. Anyway, thank you for your patience.**

* * *

 _ **I think about you somedays**_  
 _ **And the way I would lay and waste a day after day with you**_  
 _ **We always go our separate ways**_  
 _ **But no one can love you baby the way I do**_

 _ **Keep me in mind**_  
 _ **Somewhere down the road you might get lonely**_  
 _ **Keep me in mind**_  
 _ **And I pray someday that you will love me only**_

 _ **Well the world can be real tough**_  
 _ **Find shelter in me**_  
 _ **If there's no one else to love**_  
 _ **Keep me in mind**_

 _ **If ever you wanted me, I'll be your man**_  
 _ **I'd be a fool to let you go with someone else**_  
 _ **Whatever you want from me, I'll be your man**_  
 _ **I'd give it all up just to have you for myself**_

 _ **~Keep Me In Mind-Zac Brown Band**_

* * *

"Jake," I said cautiously as his body continued to tremble.

"What can I do to help?" I asked, deducing that this may be an anger management issue.

"Can you just give me a minute?" Jake asked curtly. I nodded my head in response before turning back to the kitchen table. I sat down in a rickety old chair.

I watched him as his eyes shut before he took several deep breaths. He racked a hand through his short hair as he paced back and forth.

I'd never seen this side of Jake before. There was a part of me that was afraid of the behavior he was displaying, however my first instinct was to help him.

I knew deep down he wouldn't hurt me, every action up until now showed that. After a few more breaths he opened his deep brown eyes.

Finally his eyes met mine. His gaze met mine and I tried to convey sympathy in silence. I cleared my throat before deciding to ask him a question.

"Can I get you water or anything?" I asked softly. He smiled crookedly at me before shaking his head.

"I'm really sorry you had to see that, Bells. You didn't deserve that," Jake said, sadness creeping into his eyes.

"It's okay, Jake. As you said, we all have bad moments," I smiled hesitantly at him, trying to convey to him that I wasn't afraid of him. His sudden display of his temper reminded me of my temper when I was younger.

According to Renee, when I was a little girl I had quite a temper. I was extremely stubborn and set in my ways; if I didn't get my way, I would throw a fit.

Renee picked up on the issue early on and helped me manage it. She was flighty most of the time, but she was exceptionally patient with me as a young girl.

"I should have controlled myself better," Jake murmured. I rolled my eyes at his masochism.

"You were fine, I used to have a temper."

"Really?" Jake asked, a he walked over to me.

"Yeah," I nodded before I shook my head.

"I had a really bad temper when I was younger. Renee used to say 'hell hath no fury like me if I didn't get my way,'" I laughed.

"I can't imagine that," Jake shook his head with a chuckle.

"I was very head-strong," I admitted.

"Was?" Jake challenged, raising an eye brow.

"Okay, that's fair. I still am, but I wasn't very patient back then." I used to throw fits at a drop of the hat. Through my mother's patience with me, somehow I managed to gain patience as well.

"How are you feeling? Your head must be killing you," Jake asked, changing the topic. My headache was raging, but I had managed to ignore it.

"It hurts, but I'm okay. I'll just drink a lot of water, I'll be fine," I assured him with a tepid smile.

"Hold on, I'll get you a bottle of water," Jake said as he walked back into the kitchen to grab a plastic water bottle from one of the cabinets.

"Do you catch?" Jake asked, fiddling with the water bottle.

"Charlie taught me the basics," I shrugged.

"Alright, then," Jake grinned before throwing me the water bottle. Somehow, I managed to catch it. I looked down at the water bottle in my hands honestly wondering how my clumsiness didn't appear.

"'Atta girl," Jake said, smirking at me before he weaved around the kitchen back to the table. I opened the cap as Jake sat down across from me.

"So were my eggs that bad?" Jake asked.

"No, they were honestly the best thing I've tasted in twelve hours," I assured him. That wasn't a lie, I didn't eat anything at the party or afterwards.

He thought for a moment before his gaze flickered to me.

"You haven't eaten anything in twelve hours," he reminded.

"It was a compliment," I responded.

"I'll take it, that's the nicest thing anybody has said about my cooking," Jake laughed.

"Who cooks around here then?" I asked curiously.

"We usually have a lot of take-out, delivery pizza, or I pick up something from Emily's," he replied. Emily seemed so kind, my initial impressions of her were that she was exceptionally patient and sweet.

"So you make Emily cook your dinners, huh?" I asked with a chuckle.

"We all go over there for dinners a few times a week," Jake shrugged.

"She's basically Betty Crocker," Jake added.

"I'll say, if she has to cook for your appetite," I teased. I studied him for a moment as my eyes were drawn to the purple bruises underneath his eyes.

"Jake, are you sleeping?" I asked, looking at the bags under his eyes.

"Yeah, I do," Jake shrugged.

"How many hours of sleep do you get?" I asked.

"About four, maybe five on a good day," Jake said nonchalantly. How was he walking? How was he surviving? I looked at him like he had three heads.

"Jake, that's not healthy," I murmured, concern shining in my eyes.

"I'm okay, Bella, really. I take naps during the day time. Naps are great," Jake said, blowing it off like it wasn't a big deal. I wondered how he was able to function.

"What do you do?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows together.

"I help out with security around the rez, so I take the night hours," Jake said.

"I'm confused with this 'security' are you like the police?" I asked curiously.

"Not exactly, we just protect." At his words my eyebrow furrowed with confusion. I was confused with the 'we'. Were there more?

I decided to not indulge with contemplating and theorizing and instead focus on showing my gratitude for Jake's kindness.

"Oh okay," I murmured.

"You should maybe reduce your hours so you can sleep more," I suggested gently. Jake's lack of sleep couldn't be healthy especially since the amount of work he was committed to.

He withheld a chuckle before smiling, exposing his dimple.

"I'll try."

I sipped the mug filled with warm coffee clutched in my hands before Jake cleared his throat.

"So how are you feeling? I bet you have a killer headache," Jake said, concern shining in his eyes. I shrugged, I'd had worse. The pounding in my head seemed to fade slightly as I spoke to him.

"I wouldn't mind a Tylenol, but I'm okay," I answered.

"You really shouldn't have Tylenol," Jake said sternly.

"Why?" I asked, honestly confused. Jake looked at me for a moment almost as if he was shocked at my question. He pursed his lips before answering.

"This is none of my business, but is this your first hang-over?" Jake asked gently.

"Yeah, I only had one beer last night though," I reminded him, furrowing my eyebrows.

"That's true, but your drink had crap in it which can give you hang over like symptoms the next day," Jake said, informing me. He was right, there was little doubt in my mind that Leo had slipped something in my drink.

There were large gaps in my memory, and my hangover like ailments were amplified.

"And this relates to taking Tylenol..." I said, waiting for him to finish my sentence.

"Taking anything after a hang over is a bad idea. The best thing you can do is drink lots of water and just chug through it."

I assumed Jake had more experience in this department than I did. I'd learned a valuable lesson, to always get my drink by myself and open it by myself. Before I could turn on my filter, I managed to blurt out my thoughts.

"Do you have experience with hangovers?" I asked, immediately blushing when I realized I'd said it aloud. Jake laughed as I covered my mouth in embarrassment.

"Hey, it's okay, Bells. Yes, I've had more than I should," Jake answered as he took a sip of his coffee. He was a teenage boy, something I forgot often. Mostly I forgot he was a teenage boy because he didn't act like it.

He was a man with responsibilities and priorities, not a boy with hobbies or petty matters. He was focused on helping others, from his people to his father. I could tell he cared deeply for his sister, although there were misunderstandings.

"I go out drinking a few times with the guys, I used to party a lot," Jake admitted.

"Partying isn't a bad thing," I reminded him. It wasn't my cup of tea, but I could imagine myself hanging out with friends drinking a beer or having a glass of wine.

"It isn't in moderation," Jake replied, pursing his lips. Moderation was a confusing term, mostly because it is purely subjective.

"Well, 'moderation' is kind of up to your own opinion," I cut in.

"I would go out to parties almost every night and have a new girl each week," Jake said, meeting my gaze. I didn't know if he was expecting me to judge him, or for my opinion to change of him.

I figured it was part of learning who you are which took making a less than perfect decisions and messing up along the way.

"Okay," I said, waiting for the punchline.

"You don't care?" Jake asked, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion.

"Of course not, you're allowed to figure yourself out. Finding yourself takes time, and making choices-good and bad." I explained. I found myself by having the ground ripped from under me so I could find a new place to set my feet.

"Partying a lot kept my mind off stuff, off of the growing responsibilities for me," Jake admitted.

"That makes sense." I could understand how partying excessively could take your eyes off of the load life gave you in order to let go for a night. Although I couldn't relate personally, there was such sincerity in Jake's words.

"It was just easier to pretend like crap wasn't happening," Jake replied. Sympathy filled me as I attempted to show the emotion by reaching out on the table to grasp his huge burning hot hand in mine.

Jake looked up at me with a mixture of shock and surprise. Suddenly, I felt a shot of electricity between our intertwined hands. I moved my hand away after a moment and urged him to continue, deciding to ponder the electricity later.

Jake took a moment before he continued.

"But then Sam came and gave me a new responsibility and an ultimatum."

"He told me I had to scale back on it so I could help him out," Jake explained, elaborating further.

"When did that happen?" I asked curiously. He let out a sigh before he answered.

"Almost two years ago," Jake admitted, his gaze meeting mine. Without thinking I began to back trace in my mind; I realized that the timeline roughly matched when I left Forks.

"Oh." I didn't know what to say.

"Harry passed a few months later," Jake commented. I could see the pain in his eyes, losing Harry was detrimental to the community. From what I gathered, I could see that Harry served an instrumental role in holding the thread of the community.

"I'm so sorry," I murmured.

"It's okay, losing Harry was unreal but we had to adjust, and luckily we did."

I knew Charlie was fairly close to Harry, both of them would go out on fishing trips together during the weekends Charlie had off. Billy and Harry were very close as well, which meant Jake had a close relationship as well.

"But helping Sam and his friends helped me grow up," Jake said, sipping the last bit of his coffee. I studied him for a moment noticing the way his baby fat on his face had been diminished over time.

He had a hard jawline instead of a softer boyish jawline. Every once in a while I could see the boyish grin I remembered resurface, but in its absence was a man's confident smile.

Over time, I'd realized growing up wasn't as bad as I feared. I feared every birthday, knowing it took me farther and farther away from the dream. In its wake, I found myself looking forward to time passing, because it meant I was living.

"You grew up fast," I murmured.

He laughed before shaking his head.

"Didn't you?" His question stunted me for a moment. I contemplated his answer for a moment.

"No," I said, shaking my head.

"It was a process," I said, fiddling with the mug in my hand.

"I'm still growing up," I laughed as I saw in the corner of my eye out the window the clouds starting to break.

* * *

"Does Billy know I'm here?" I asked as he turned on the television on the search for ESPN. He took a seat on the worn loveseat. As the square box television dimly glimmered on, he replied.

"Yeah, he's cool with it," Jake said, looking over at me. I knew if the situation was reversed, Charlie wouldn't be 'cool' with it.

"Really?" I asked with surprise. He looked over at me for a moment with that boyish grin.

"Yeah, he trusts me. He knows I fear Charlie," Jake laughed.

"Charlie loves you," I reminded him.

"Yeah but he loves you, and if I do anything out of life he won't hesitate," he said, leaning back into the couch. We fell into a comfortable silence as I sat with my feet under me.

I let the weight of the past few days fall on me. I couldn't believe that Jake never once asked about the party, or scolded me. Instead of giving me the tongue lashing I deserved, he was there.

He could've yelled at me, or called me out for not using my head. I fully expected that he'd badger me with questions when I got in the car about where I'd been, he was almost mechanical.

He asked the necessary questions, but kept putting me in line out of it.

"Jake, I have a question for you," I said, twiddling my thumbs.

"Shoot," he said, muting the television and giving his full attention to me.

"Why didn't you call me out last night?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion. I watched as his eyebrows knit together for a moment before his forehead relaxed.

He sucked in a breath.

"Because making sure you were safe mattered more," Jake replied simply. I looked at him with confusion before he explained further.

"All that mattered was that you were safe. I'm not your Dad, Bella. I'm not going to ask questions that drive you further away from me. You're a strong woman, Bella, not a girl who needs saving. You wanted me to help you get back up on your feet again, not babysit you."

"You make choices, and if you want I'm here to support you in every decision you allow me to be a part of." Jake looked at me with such intensity I could feel my heart hammer in my chest at his words.

He wasn't giving me more leash, he was respecting my freedom.

"But I want to clarify something," Jake said, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"Don't think for a second I didn't want to go rip the asshole's throat out who pulled that on you. I was scared shitless when you called me because you didn't sound like you. You were hurting and a lot of miles away from me. So I broke the book of driving laws to get to you, but I don't regret it for a second," Jake said with fervor.

I bit my lip as the weight of his words hit me. Jake didn't want to impede on my freedom, he loved it. He drove a few hundred miles for me, just to deal with my drunken self.

He let his pride go and getting the last word and instead dealt with the problem at hand. He wanted to help, not control the decisions I made. He didn't try to change the decision or force my hand.

* * *

Jake got a text from Sam inviting both of us over for dinner. Jake agreed, not wanting to turn down an opportunity for food.

"So how long have Emily and Sam been together?" I asked curiously as Jacob turned onto the main road. He looked at the road ahead for a few minutes as he gathered his thoughts.

"About three years," Jake answered, tapping his finger against the steering wheel.

"They're engaged, right?" I asked, recalling Emily had mentioned it at Rachel's house. Jake nodded his head softly while pursing his lips. I didn't remember or recall how they met. The way Emily and Sam moved around each other was almost magnetic; even if they weren't touching, they'd adjust to each other's movements.

"How did they meet?" I asked, honestly curious. Jake took a sharp intake of breath before he replied. I could see Jake looked frazzled.

"It's a long story," he said after a few moments of silence.

"Oh," I murmured, realizing that I was digging too deep.

"They met through Leah," Jake said stiffly. Although I'd never met Leah, I knew she was Sue's daughter. Jake spoke about her a few times and from what I gathered she was strong headed. She had Seth, who was a few years younger than her.

"I haven't met Leah, have I?"

"No, she wasn't at the bonfire. You will tonight, so get ready." Jake said with a chuckle.

"What is she like?"

"She's stubborn, and can come off kinda bitchy. She can be a pain, so if she's hard on you just let it go. She's got a lot going on," Jake answered, momentarily taking his eyes off the road to meet my gaze.

"She lost her father," I reminded. I couldn't fathom the amount of pain she's endured because of that monumental loss.

"She did," Jake said, the corners of his lips drawing into a frown.

"She hosts pity parties a lot, so don't get drawn into them," Jake said almost like a warning. She went through a tremendous loss therefore I didn't mind if she threw 'pity parties.'

"You're being hard on her," I said, slightly chastising him. His returning glance was animated; he looked at me with bewilderment.

"You can hold judgement until you meet her," Jake suggested. He was right of course, I shouldn't have preconceptions of her.

Jake pulled up into a gravel driveway. At the end of the bumpy driveway laid a small cottage with a porch. The porch housed two wooden rocking chairs.

After Jake parked the car, he came around to open the door for me. No matter how much time I spent with him, his habit of opening the door for me managed to surprise me.

"You always look so surprised when I open the door for you," Jake said, raising his eyebrows in confusion.

"It just takes some getting used to," I admitted, sticking my hands into the pocket of my jeans. Jake looked me over for a minute, shaking his head.

"When you're with me it'll be an every day thing," Jake said, almost like a promise.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" He asked as we walked up the steps onto the porch. My eyebrows rose up as a smile spread across my lips.

"Yes."

"If your head starts hurting or…" Jake started, I chuckled at how much he was ovvereacting.

"I'm a tough girl," I assured him. Jake smiled, agreeing with my statement. He opened the screen door wide before letting me pass the threshold first. I was still not accustom to not knocking on the door.

"Hey!" Jake greeted, his voice booming. Emily stepped out of the kitchen, outfitted in an flour dusted apron.

"Hey Jake, hi Bella," Emily greeted, her smile constrained to one side of her face. I smiled warmly back at her before she drew me in for a hug.

"It's so good to see you again, you can go sit down at the kitchen table," Emily gestured to the full table on the side of the room.

There were Sam, Embry, Quil, Jared, Kim, and a younger woman with long ebony hair that spilled onto the chair she was sitting in.

"Hey Bella," Sam greeted, waving at me.

"Hi Sam." The whole table waved at me except for the woman with the long silky jet black hair.

"You must be Bella," she said, standing up. She looked me over with an accusing glare; she studied me as if I was a disappointing art piece at an art gallery.

Jake stood behind me, clearly throwing her a look. I decided to walk closer to her and wave at her.

"It's nice to meet you, Leah," I said, smiling hesitantly.

"You're the girl who dated…" She didn't have to finish her sentence.

"Leah, really?" Jake boomed. I turned around to meet Jake's gaze.

"It's okay," I mouthed to him before turning around.

"I dated Edward, that's right," I said, shrugging. She simply pointed out a fact, and I didn't need Jake to come to my rescue.

I dated Edward for almost a year, so I couldn't blame her for pointing it out; along with the fact that I saw him as my whole world.

The whole table looked tense as I awaited Leah's response.

"A Cullen," Leah stated. Once again, she was pointing out a simple fact. I could hear Jake take a deep breath, ready to fire back.

Before he could respond, I took the opportunity.

"Yeah, it wasn't one of my finer moments," I said with a chuckle.

"But my name is Bella and that was two years ago. So I'll start this again," I murmured, sticking my hand out for a handshake.

I didn't need her to point out the skeletons in my closet for me.

"I'm Bella, it's nice to meet you, Leah." I smiled gently. Leah looked at me again as another agonizing moment passed by.

I was hoping that since we had the elephant in the room spoken we could move on.

"Leah, you just got served!" Quil piped up. The whole table let out a nervous chuckle along with me.

"Shut it, McCall," Leah sneered.

"I think you just got out sassed, Leah," Jake said with a laugh.

"It's nice to meet you too, Swan. It sounds like you have a backbone," Leah said, shaking my hand in defeat.

* * *

I joined Emily in the kitchen a few moments after Leah and I's tense accord.

"Do you need any help?" I asked, shuffling my feet around.

"Can you check the chicken in the oven?" Emily asked, focused on tossing the salad in front of her. I opened the oven door, noticing the chicken was browning nicely.

"It still needs some time," I said, reporting back to her.

"I figured. I'm sorry I'm all frazzled, this was just a day," Emily admitted, placing her hands on the counter in front of her before turning her head to meet my gaze.

"Don't apologize, it's okay. Are you okay?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah, it's just..." Emily started, swiping a hand over her forehead clearly stressed out.

"Leah and I..." Emily said, her voice lowering. I noticed when I came in that she and Leah seemed tense.

"Oh," I murmured. I knew they used to be close from what I observed, but there was obviously a rift in their relationship.

"I thought it was starting to get better and I just don't know what I'm doing wrong," Emily said, shaking her head. She was blinking back tears; I bit my lip as I tried to figure out what I could do.

"You two aren't in a good place." Emily looked at me for a moment before she winced.

"We haven't been in a good place for a while," Emily admitted.

"She's hurting," I murmured. As soon as I caught a glance at her, I could see a deep sorrow plaguing her. I didn't know the roots of the sorrow, but I could tell by the way she spoke to me.

"She is, she hasn't been happy in a really long time," Emily said, frowning.

"I just want to help her, you know? She just pushes me out every time I try to help. She's just become this bitter person and I don't know how she's going to act. Sometimes, we can talk without her snapping and walking out of the room and other times..." Emily murmured, looking down at the counter.

"She's putting up a front, this tough girl take no crap front. But underneath all of that is a woman filled with sorrow. But she's got to dig herself out of it, Emily. You're not responsible for saving her," I said crossing my arms around my chest.

"She has to save herself, and she will. You have to love her while she pieces herself back together," I murmured. Emily studied me for a moment with amazement.

"You picked that up after spending ten minutes with her?" She asked in bewilderment. Thanks to Renee, I was perceptive. Leah reminded me a lot of myself, when I was trying to put myself back together again.

Leah's bouts of anger were similar to my temper tantrums when I first moved to Jacksonville.

"Yeah."

"But...how?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I was just like her, all that pent up anger...My father had to pratically walk on eggshells when he talked to me. I let my loss, my pain...my heartbreak define me. I took out my frustration with myself on my family and friends. I shut out everyone..." I admitted.

"But I healed, it took days of wallowing in my own sadness. Eventually I picked myself put myself back in the saddle and dealt with it. I put the pieces back together and they didn't fit like they used to...But I learned to love the woman I became and let the sad girl behind," I added. The words came out easier each time.

I didn't know Leah's pain, or where the roots of the pain laid. I did know how the anger stemmed out of pain, frustration at not healing or moving on. I knew the deep want to move on, but stuck with insecurities.

"You're very strong, Bella. I just don't know how to help her," Emily admitted.

"Just love her, where she is right now so she can get where she's going," I advised.

"I'm sorry I just unloaded all of that on you, but thank you for listening and opening up to me," she said, a smile budding on her lips.

"Absolutely," I smiled at her.

"She will heal, in time. She'll put herself back together," I assured her. Emily's eyes flickered to mine before she exposed a gentle smile. I opened the door of the oven before giving Emily the thumbs up.

I pulled out the kitchen before placing it on the counter to cool off.

"That's a lot of chicken," I observed.

"They have huge appetites. I never know how much is enough, I have to estimate," Emily laughed.

"It looks great, Emily."

She called them a moment later to serve themselves. The chicken was decimated in a matter of minutes along with the mashed potatoes she'd made. The salad remained for the most part untouched, as I predicted.

I stuck to a salad and a lone piece of chicken. Jake peered at me, an impish smile spreading across his lips. He sat next to me at the table with Emily and Sam sitting across from us.

"So Claire's at her Grandma's?" Embry asked Quil.

"Yeah, she'll be back soon," Quil answered sadly. I remembered meeting Claire at the bonfire, I wondered why Quil was so distraught over Claire's absence. They must be cousins or something.

Quil seemed to dote on her every passing moment at the bonfire. I took a mental note to ask Jake about that later.

"I'm sorry, bro. That must be killing you," Embry said as he dug into the chicken on his plate.

"Oh my god stop being so dramatic," Leah said with a scoff.

"Leah, he misses Claire," Emily said, chiding her softly.

"She's a child," Leah said with a huff.

"Leah..." Sam said with a warning tone.

"It's just disgusting," Leah said with her nose upturned.

"Do you have to comment on everything?" Quil asked with mild annoyance.

"No, I just think it's disturbing," Leah said, shrugging.

"Let's just get off this topic. Emily, I really like the work you've done on the house. The shutters look great," Jake said, which earned a hesitant smile from Emily.

"Thank you, I wasn't so sure about the green but Sam convinced me. He put in all the manual labor," Emily said with pride.

"Sam picked the green?" Embry asked, holding back a laugh.

"He came to Lowe's with me to pick out the color. I was leaning toward gray, but he chose the forrest green," Emily answered.

"Dude, turn in your man card," Embry said to Sam.

"My man card is intact, thank you. Just remember I get to have her in my bed every night," Sam winked. Emily responded swiftly by elbowing him.

"Seriously, Sam?" Emily asked with a huff.

"It's just the truth, babe. I get to have a few un-manly moments so I can bang..." Sam started.

"Oh dear God, please no," Leah moaned with disgust. Emily blushed at Sam's statement, while Jared laughed.

"True, dude," Jared said with a grin. Kim who remained silent through the whole exchange blushed scarlet red. As dinner went on, I slowly began to feel like I was part of the family.

Jake turned to me with an impish smile as if he could read me gradually becoming more and more comfortable around them.

* * *

Emily gave me a huge hug before we left that night. Sam waved as Jake backed out of the driveway.

"You handled yourself really well with Leah," Jake commented as he turned onto the main road.

"Thanks, she didn't bother me," I said as I played with a few strands of my hair.

"She's like that...just flat out rude sometimes. It just gets old," Jake said, with a frown.

"She's been through a lot, it's how she copes," I said, recalling Emily and I's conversation from earlier that night.

"Don't let her make you pity her too much," Jake said as a warning.

"Jake..." I murmured.

"I'm just going to tell you, okay? Just listen," Jake said, shooting me a glance before turning his attention back to the road.

"She and Sam used to date, they were High School sweethearts. Sam changed...over a few months and through his...umm...changes he and Leah stayed together. One weekend, Emily, Leah's cousin came to visit her. Leah and Emily were best friends as well as cousins," Jake said, turning to me for a moment.

"Then Sam saw Emily for the first time. He was immediantly attracted to her, but he tried to fight it. Emily was oblivious at first, but then she started to feel something too," Jake continued.

I could already deduce this wasn't a completely happy story. Instead, I could start to see where Leah was coming from.

"He pushed back those feelings for a long time, and Emily was...attacked by a bear...and after seeing her like that he couldn't take it anymore. He broke it off with Leah. Emily was really mad at Sam for a while because she didn't want to hurt Leah," Jake said softly.

"Leah was pissed of course. Emily came around and began to date Sam, and the rest is history. Leah hasn't forgiven Emily, or Sam. Sam doesn't care that she hasn't forgiven him, but he cares that Leah hasn't made up with Emily because she's takes it hard," he said, shaking his head.

As Jake pieced the story together I understood where Leah came from. I could sympathize with her feeling as though she was second best or thrown away like garbage.

"Poor Leah," I murmured.

"It's been three years now," Jake said with a huff.

"Was it like love at first sight?" I asked curiously. I couldn't fathom how Sam could just throw away a long term relationship that quickly.

"Sam and Emily?"

"Yeah."

Jake took a deep breath before he pursed his lips. He hesitated for a few seconds, trying out the right words.

"Kind of," Jake nodded. I could sense there was something big he wasn't telling me. Throughout the night I felt like there was a crucial part of the puzzle I was missing; it was nagging at me all night.

"There's more to it, isn't there?" I asked, my words hanging in the air for a few seconds. I could see the indecisiveness in his expression.

"Yes," he said, gulping.

"I promise I'll tell you, just trust me, okay?" Jake asked, taking his eyes off the road in order to look at me. I took a deep breath before nodding my head slowly.

Jake hadn't given me a reason not to trust him.

"Okay," I said softly while leaning back against the seat. I let my mind rest from deducing before closing my eyes.

* * *

 **Bella's finally starting to put the pieces together! Let me know what you think by leaving me a review. Expect an update in about 1-2 weeks. Thanks again for your patience! Next chapter is the one that really gets the ball rolling and pretty packed with the pieces coming together fully.**

 **-Princessinblues**


	11. Demons

**Wow, y'all it's been a while hasn't it? If there's anyone still with me, thank you thank you thank you. Life has been insane between my master's research and moving into my husband and I's first actual home I haven't had a minute to myself in a while.**

 **I hope y'all had a good holiday season. My life has slowed down a little bit, thank goodness. I had some time to write this while my husband was away this past weekend for training.**

 **This is where crap hits the fan-where Bella puts the pieces together.**

 **I've enabled anonymous reviews and I'd love to hear your feedback.**

* * *

 _ **I wanna hide the truth**_  
 _ **I wanna shelter you**_  
 _ **But with the beast inside**_  
 _ **There's nowhere we can hide**_

 _ **No matter what we breed**_  
 _ **We still are made of greed**_  
 _ **This is my kingdom come**_  
 _ **This is my kingdom come**_

 _ **When you feel my heat**_  
 _ **Look into my eyes**_  
 _ **It's where my demons hide**_  
 _ **It's where my demons hide**_  
 _ **Don't get too close**_  
 _ **It's dark inside**_  
 _ **It's where my demons hide**_  
 _ **It's where my demons hide**_

 _ **At the curtain's call**_  
 _ **It's the last of all**_  
 _ **When the lights fade out**_  
 _ **All the sinners crawl**_

 _ **So they dug your grave**_  
 _ **And the masquerade**_  
 _ **Will come calling out**_  
 _ **At the mess you made**_

 _ **Don't wanna let you down**_  
 _ **But I am hell bound**_  
 _ **Though this is all for you**_  
 _ **Don't wanna hide the truth**_

 _ **~Demons-Imagine Dragons**_

* * *

I was frustrated at Jake, I knew both of us had our secrets but it seemed he was keeping something big from me. The rational part of me knew he had his reasons, but as I went in to Emily's house I felt going without a valuable part of the puzzle.

Deep down I trusted Jake, which was a huge step for me considering I kept my walls up most of the time. Overtime, I slowly began to gradually allow people in.

Lena phrased it as allowing others to love me. I accepted the fact that I had a big heart, sometimes that meant I loved the wrong people too strongly, but I took strength in the fact that I could love people with all of me.

"Bella," Jake said, breaking the silence. I opened my eyes before blinking a few times, adjusting to the night sky in front of me.

"Did I upset you?" Jake asked as he turned onto his driveway. I could either give him the honest answer, or I could resort back to letting it slide.

"A little, but I understand, Jake." There was truth in those words, although I decided to steer away from being totally blunt.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm just waiting for the right time," Jake admitted, his shoulders dropping as he put the car in park. I could see the agony plain as day on his face.

"It's okay, Jake. You can tell me when you're ready," I said, my lips breaking into a small smile.

"Thanks, Bella, I just..." Jake hesitated for a moment. I knew what he was trying to say.

"I know, it must be really hard for you. But I'm here, Jake, whenever you need to talk," I said, opening my door so I was able to walk out. His lips which were drawn into a frown turned upwards for momentary tight lipped smile.

"Thank you, Bella," he said. I could tell by the intensity burning in his deep brown eyes that he was grateful. At that moment, with him standing a few inches away from me, I decided to do something completely out of character.

I pressed myself up on my toes to wrap my arms around his strong neck for a hug. With the moment that passed he gradually thawed up before returning my hug.

I kept forgetting how freakishly warm he was, and I buried my face into the tee shirt covered planes of his chest. I heard him take a deep sigh before he pushed me even closer to him.

No matter how much time I spent with Jake, I would never fully accustom myself to his warmth. I released my hold on his neck as I pulled away from him. Without saying a word, I pulled back to meet his gaze.

I looked up, tracing my eyes up from his chiseled jaw to his dark chocolate eyes. I wish I had the words to assure him that I understood, we were both still getting used to each other.

Instead, I maintained the eye contact between us to attempt to convey to him that I wasn't mad at him.

"Thank you," he murmured to me before guiding me up the steps to his house.

* * *

I didn't want to take advantage of Jake's already kind offer of allowing me to crash at his house the night before. Plus, I didn't want Billy to feel uncomfortable, even though he was playing it off like he was okay with it it must have still been awkward for him.

"You called your Dad?" Jake asked, knocking on his bedroom door. I let out a chuckle, he was knocking on his own bedroom door.

"Yeah," I replied, answering his immediate question. Charlie was all over having me back at his house, partially because he was ready for an actual meal again.

However, we were truly starting to forge a relationship again which brought me hope.

"Good, I bet he's excited to have you for an extra night," Jake said, walking into his bedroom where I was trying to stuff all of my clothes back in my bag.

"I think it's because the quality of food is about to improve," I said, zipping up the bag.

Jake chuckled before shaking his head.

"He loves you, Bella. Not just your food," he said. I absorbed his words before I let a smile fall on my lips. With a final tug, I managed to close the bag.

"I know," I murmured, mustering a smile.

"You were struggling with that for a while," Jake said, gesturing to the bag in front of me. I pushed back a stray piece of hair that managed to interrupt my line of vision.

"Only for like five minutes," I replied curtly.

"I watched a good ten minutes of top ten plays on Sports Center," Jake said with a wink. I rolled my eyes at his teasing as he walked toward me.

"I can bring this bag to the car if you want," Jake said, and I could feel the blush pool in my cheeks. He was incredibly thoughtful and always asked permission first.

He didn't need to assert himself because he had a quiet confidence.

"That'd be great, Jake," I said appreciatively. My first inclination was to take the bag myself, but I decided to let him do it for me. Jake grinned before he hoisted the bag up easily on his shoulder.

"You just picked up that bag like it was a sack of flour," I said, marvelling at how he took an easily twenty pound bag in his arms as if it was no big deal. Jake grinned cheekily at me.

"You haven't seen anything yet," he waggled his eyebrows. Before I had time to react, he picked me up in his other arm.

"Jake!" I protested. He was being utterly ridiculous. My lips turned upwards before I let out a string of giggles.

"Put me down, you cocky jerk!" I exclaimed. He responded by laughing as he walked us into the main room of the house.

"C'mon Bella, now both my hands are full. I felt very off balance." I rolled my eyes at his response.

"I'm perfectly capable of walking and you're just showing off," I muttered.

"Maybe," he replied as he continued to walk us outside toward his Rabbit. He slung the bag in the trunk before sliding me so I was cradled on his chest. He faked almost dropping me.

"Jake!" I yelled.

"I'm just kidding, Bells," he assured me before placing me securely in his arms.

"You gave me a heart attack!" I said, catching my breath. That was one aspect I was learning, Jake and I could do a complete one-eighty; we could go from an intense moment back to the easiness I was accustom to.

I wasn't expecting that being with Jake was as easy as breathing, he wasn't much for drama. He had baggage, I'm sure but I realized he would reveal it to me in time.

He knew I had baggage, and although I opened up to him easier than I imagined there were still parts of me he didn't know.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, worry crossing his face.

"I didn't really scare you did I? That wasn't..." Jake started to blabber on and apologize, which was sweet but not necessary.

"Jake, stop being silly," I said, with a chuckle. His eyebrows gradually pushed apart so they were relaxed as he took in my words.

"It's just being with you is easy, Bella," Jake said, meeting my eyes. Before I could reply, he threw me one more lingering glance before he closed the door. I could feel my heart flutter in my chest at the intensity of his expression with his words.

I realized that there was deeper meaning to his words, he could be himself with me. Slowly, I was allowing him to see who I was in return. I let him see me in a vulnerable state, and he was still here.

He let my not so great moments go instead of holding onto them. Seconds later, I realized his words still hung in the air. I met his anxious gaze before I turned my lips upwards.

"You don't have to be anything but yourself around me," I murmured, fixing my eyes on his.

"You know the same goes for you, Bells," Jake smiled, exposing a dimple before he checked to make sure I was safely inside then shut the door.

* * *

When Jake's Rabbit pulled up into Charlie's driveway, Charlie opened the front door. He walked out, still in his uniform along with his badge. He waved at us as Jake put the car into park.

I turned to him before he opened his door to get out.

"Thank you for everything, Jake. You went above and beyond for me," I said, trying to convey to him how appreciative I was. Jake grinned before he mussed my hair for a moment.

"No problem, Bells, anytime," he assured me before he opened his door. He opened the trunk before grabbing my bag out for me. I opened the door and protested that I could take my bag inside.

"I already got it," he winked.

"She's stubborn as a mule, Jake, I would tell you to just give in sometimes," Charlie said with a grin.

"Oh I know, she's hard-headed," Jake said with a chuckle.

"Jerk," I muttered, swatting him. Charlie raised his eyebrows at my remark.

"He's stubborn too!" I said, raising my voice slightly. Jake chuckled as Charlie offered to take my bag.

"Oh I know, he gets that from Billy," Charlie said with a laugh.

"Did you two have fun?" Charlie asked, looking over at me.

"Yeah, we had dinner at Emily's," I answered which earned a smile from Charlie.

"She's a sweet girl, it's a shame what happened to her with that animal attack," he said, shaking his head. Jake winced at his words, even though I was sure I was the only one who noticed.

"She's great," I smiled.

"Well Bella, I wasn't sure if you've eaten so I went ahead and ordered pizza," Charlie admitted.

"I'm really full, but thanks Dad," I said.

"Emily's food pretty much gives you a food coma," Jake said, inserting himself into the conversation. Charlie let out a laugh before he started to move towards the porch.

"I bet. It was great to see you, Jacob. Tell Billy I say hello and drive safe," Charlie said as Jake started to close the distance between himself and the car.

"I will," Jake said. Charlie walked through the door before leaving it slightly ajar. Jake's eyes met mine as he let an impish grin cross his face.

"It was good to see you, Bells. Thanks for coming to Emily's with me." I smiled as I met his gaze.

"Thank you for going above and beyond for me this weekend. I'll see you soon," I murmured.

"Do you need a ride back to school tomorrow?" Jake asked. I thought for a minute before I responded. I could check and see if there was a train or Charlie could take me. Charlie's cruiser was on the fritz already so I took Jake's offer.

"That would be great, I can reimburse you with gas money," I assured him.

"Don't worry about it, Bella. Let me know what time you wanna leave tomorrow," Jake said, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"I will. Drive home safe, Jake," I said. I reached up on my tip-toes to latch my arms around his neck for a hug. He embraced me gently, burying his face in my hair for a moment.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bells," Jake said as I began to pull away.

"See you tomorrow," I repeated as he opened the door of his Rabbit. As Jacob pulled in reverse, I watched from the porch. I waved as he drove off before unlatching the door to walk inside the house.

I was greeted with the smell of cheese and pepperoni wafting through the air.

"Hey, Dad!" I said, walking into the living room. He was sitting on the love-seat with a beer along with a few slice of pizza with cheese melting off the side of the plate.

"Hey, Bells," he said before he took another bite of pizza. Another Mariners game flickered on the television as I sat in the rocking chair beside him. I'd grown somewhat of an appreciation for baseball, mostly because Renee would drag me to all of Phil's games.

I sat cross legged in the chair as Charlie enjoyed his pizza. He flickered off the television, which was a very odd move for him. I peered at him inquisitively.

"Did you have a good time with Jake?" Charlie asked, knitting his eyebrows together.

"I did," I murmured, nodding my head.

"Billy called me and told me you spent Friday night at his house," Charlie said, looking worried.

"Yes," I murmured.

"Bella, you're an adult now and you can do whatever you want. Just know if you need something, I'm there," Charlie said, his eyes meeting mine. I was surprised he wasn't chiding me.

"Thanks, Dad. A party I went to got a little out of hand so I called Jake to come and pick me up," I said, deciding to tell him the truth.

"No problem, Bells. I'm glad you're being safe," Charlie said, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Of course, Dad. Jake was being a good friend," I said with a smile.

"I'm glad. I like that kid," Charlie commented. Before my mind could fully process the scene unfolding before me, Charlie wrapped his arms around me for a hug.

In response, I wrapped my arms around him tight. He kissed my forehead before he pulled away.

* * *

The ride to school with Jake consisted of small talk and talking about his post graduation plans. As we pulled up into my dorm parking lot, I saw Angela waiting for me.

I sent her a text earlier saying I wanted to catch a late dinner with her after I got back. I waved at her as I got out of my seat while Jake went to get my bag from the trunk.

"You're Jake, right?" Angela asked as she walked over.

"Yeah, you must be Angela," Jake said, smiling and sticking his hand out for a hand shake.

"It's nice to meet you, Jake," Angela smiled. She appraised him like a prized hog at a state fair. I threw her a glare, which she promptly responded by sticking her tongue out at me quickly.

"Yeah, you too. I recognize you from somewhere," Jake said, trying to recall the memory.

"Prom night," I said, filling in the blanks.

"That's right! You were the guy that crashed prom," Angela said with a chuckle.

"I just interrupted a dance," Jake smiled cheekily.

"Well, it's nice to finally meet you. Bella has talked a lot about you," she said which resulted in blush accumulating in my cheeks. Jake threw me a grin before turning to her.

"Oh yeah?" Jake grinned.

"Yeah, it's great you two finally reconnected," Angela said, flashing a knowing smile on her lips.

"Yeah she's a lot different than the little girl I made mud pies with, but I'm not complaining," Jake smiled, turning to me.

"I better be getting back, but it was nice to meet you, Angela." Jake smiled at her as he started to step away.

"Thank you again for the ride and the weekend, Jake." I said, turning to him.

"Of course, Bella, anytime. Have a good week and I'll see you soon," Jake murmured before he pressed me in closer for a hug. I hugged him back as I took a deep breath.

I pulled away and walked to the sidewalk with Angela before waving as he drove away.

"You didn't mention he's tall, dark, and handsome," Angela commented. Blush colored my cheeks at her words.

"I didn't think it was necessary," I laughed.

"Bella, he's gorgeous. And he's into you," Angela said, winking.

"What?" I asked. Jake was my best friend, he went out of his way for me. I would do anything for him, but we were both on the same page of being friends.

"We're friends," I corrected.

"You can say that all you want, but the way he looked at you..." Angela said, turning to me.

"He looks at you like you're the reason his world goes round, like you're the best thing that's ever happened to him," she continued. I felt my stomach begin to flutter, which I attributed as a fluke.

"Angela, you're being crazy," I murmured, feeling my cheeks heat up.

"He's in love with you, Bella, and it's clear he's being a gentleman and not forcing you," Angela said, disregarding my previous comment.

"But the way he's looking at you isn't the way friends look at each other, and you're crazy for not seeing it," Angela said, meeting my gaze. I looked down at the pavement below me before letting out a scoff.

Jake was my friend, nothing more. Jake was exceptionally kind and arguably one of the best friends I've ever had.

"Have you been reading those cheap romance novels again?" I asked, which earned a harsh chuckle from Angela.

"Maybe, but it still doesn't change anything," she said, elbowing me gently.

"Angela, he's a great guy. He's wonderful to me, but we're just friends," I said, turning to her and meeting her eyes. She frowned before she nodded.

"Okay, Bella but let me know when you decide to jump him," Angela winked. I could feel my cheeks heat up at her words.

"Angela!" I squeaked in embarrassment.

"Oh please, if I wasn't dating..." Angela said, but I quickly interrupted her.

"Angela, I really don't want to hear this..." I muttered.

"Okay, just hear me out," Angela pleaded.

I let out a deep sigh before answering.

"I am, Ang," I promised.

"You might not be ready yet, but just think about it," she advised.

"I will," I said, smiling at her.

* * *

"Thanks helping me get all of this in my car," I said after Angela threw my weekend-bag in the trunk of my car.

"Of course, I'm sorry I had to bail this weekend..." Angela apologized with a frown. She and I planned to have another movie night along with studying for our upcoming exam.

Ben needed help moving into his new apartment, since he'd finally found a better one; his old apartment had to be fumigated and was infested with cockroaches.

"It's okay, Ben could need all the help he can get," I assured her.

"Still, I feel awful about it," she said with a sigh.

"Don't worry about it, Ang. There's plenty of weekends," I said, giving her a hug. She hugged me back before letting out a deep breath.

"True, and Ben's away next weekend..." Angela said with a wink.

"We can go shopping or something," I suggested.

"Or go through another bottle of wine while watching chick flicks," she winked. I laughed before shaking my head.

"Have fun this weekend, make sure you see that hunk," she grinned.

"Angela!" I exclaimed.

"What, he's yummy. If you need to talk about anything, I'm always here unless my arms are occupied with boxes in which case I'll call you back."

"Thanks Ang, I'll text you when I get to Forks," I murmured.

"Tell your Dad I said hi," Angela smiled as I started to get into the front seat. She waved as I backed out of my parking space. As I began driving down the highway, the storm clouds in the sky released rain.

I let out a sigh before turning my windshield wipers on. My phone lit up in my cup holder; I peered down to see a short text from Jake.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Jacob Black**_

 **Hey Bells, be safe out there. Nasty storm.**

 **-Jake**

A smile crossed my lips before I returned my gaze to the road ahead of me. I called Charlie earlier while he was on his lunch break to remind him I was coming home this weekend.

He was ecstatic of course and mentioned the baseball games on television; he also told me he was on night duty. My stomach groaned obnoxiously as I grew closer to Forks.

Angela's conversation from earlier lingered in my mind. Did Jake really see me that way? There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Jake held a special part of my heart.

He allowed me to be myself, without any strings attached. Spending time with him meant the hours passed by quickly. Was I attracted to him? Sure, he was a good looking guy. He looked much different from the boy I saw at prom.

Did that mean I had feelings for him? I wasn't sure.

* * *

When I pulled up to the gravel driveway, I let out a sigh of relief. The skies had cleared up a little bit to allow a glimmer of sunshine light up the deep forrest green scenery around me.

I hurled my back pack along with my suitcase on my back before sliding my hand in my pocket to find the key. I entered the house with ease before setting my sights on my room.

After putting my luggage down, I peered down to the last drawer in my closet. The drawer was slightly opened with a pair of crop leggings peeking out. I grabbed the pair curiously before my eyes landed on my running shoes.

Making a rash decision, I decided to change into my leggings and running shoes. I found a ratty tee shirt to wear with them. I played with the key board on my phone for a few minutes before I decided to give in.

When I was on campus, I ran early in the morning around the grounds.

 _ **To Jake**_

 _ **From Bella**_

 **Going for a run. Want to join?**

A few moments passed by before my phone lit up. I let out a sigh of relief.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Jacob Black**_

 **Sure, I'll go easy.**

I rolled my eyes at his comment before we coordinated the time. I fixed my hair back in a ponytail before looking at the mirror in front of me; I decided I looked presentable.

I jogged down the stairs before grabbing my keys on the counter. Jake refused to run around a track so we usually ran around the forrest. Jake knew the woods like he knew the back of his hand.

I met him on the edge of town a mile away from La Push.

"Jake," I greeted him as I stepped out of my car. Jake was wearing cut offs and a holey tee shirt.

"Aren't you freezing?" I asked him. He laughed before he shook his head.

"Nope," he replied, popping the 'p.'

"You're crazy, at least put on a sweat shirt!" I said, looking around the trunk of my car for a spare one of Charlie's. I threw one of Charlie's at him.

"You steal Charlie's sweatshirts?" Jake asked with a chuckle as he easily caught it.

"Yeah, he doesn't care," I shrugged.

"I really don't need this," he laughed trying to pass it back to me.

"Just humor me," I said, meeting his gaze. He looked at me longily for a moment before he grumbled to himself. To my surprise, he threw the sweatshirt on.

It was a little tight on him which made me let out a chuckle.

"You'll have a nice view from behind," he chuckled. I slapped him with the back of my hand playfully.

"What are you talking about? You'll have the view from behind me," I said. He hesitated for a moment before he responded.

"A little cocky, huh?" Jake asked; it was clear I caught him off guard.

"I've been practicing," I grinned.

"Let's see if all that practicing helped," Jake said as he began to jog. He had a clear advantage because his legs were much longer than mine. I jogged alongside him, somehow able to keep pace with him.

"It has actually," I retorted.

"Whatever, Bells. I thought you were going to spend time with Angela this weekend," Jake said as he led us to the cusp of the woods. I vaguely remembered mentioning my original plans to him in the beginning of the week.

"She had to help Ben move. He finally got his apartment after it was fumigated," I explained.

"Oh, right, you told me his apartment had cockroaches or something."

"Yeah, he stayed with his friends for a while. He's a year ahead of Angela because of all the credits he brought in," I responded. I looked over at him for a brief moment; I observed he had dark circles under his eyes.

"Jake, have you been sleeping recently?" I asked, my eyes still on the dark bruises under his eyes.

"I'm getting enough," Jake answered. I rolled my eyes; he never gets the sleep he needs.

"Are you having trouble sleeping?" I asked curiously.

"Nope, I sleep like a baby," Jake replied.

"Is your Dad doing okay?" I asked; I figured maybe he was up late taking care of Billy...

"He's good, Bells. I just have to work nights sometimes," Jake replied simply.

"Did you get the job at that auto place?" I questioned. Jake told me a few weeks ago that he applied to work at a mechanic's place.

"I work a few times a week there that's mostly during the day though."

Suddenly, it dawned on me Jake helped out as a 'protector.'

"Is it that unofficial police stuff you do?"

"Yeah," Jake said with a half smile.

"If you don't want to do it Jake I'm sure they could find someone else to replace you..." I started.

"It's not like that, Bells," Jake said with a sigh.

"Jake...you're working, you take care of your Dad, you go to school..." I trailed off.

"It's something I have to do, sweetheart." Jake said, pursing his lips. I knew how dedicated Jake was to his father and to his community, but the dark circles underneath his eyes showed a different story.

"I just wish you thought of yourself sometimes," I admitted; meaning for my words to remain in my head. As the words came out I felt my cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

He let out a snort before he replied.

"You're one to talk," Jake said, shaking his head. I felt my eyebrows knit together in contemplation.

"You barely think of yourself. You come home almost every weekend to be with your Dad, you work all the time in that dining hall, you barely sleep, you drop anything for Angela..." Jake trailed off.

Most of those he described I did, however there was one that stuck out.

"Jake...I don't come home every weekend to see Charlie. I mean, I want to heal that relationship. But don't paint me as a martyr, I also come to see you." I said, looking away from the ground underneath me to look at him.

Suddenly, Jake stopped. I realized after a second and walked back to him.

"Jake?" I asked, millions of questions surfacing my head.

"You're my friend. You're not just someone to use. Yes, I did that in the past to fill an emotional void in my heart because I had this longing in my heart to be loved. Then, I grew up and realized that the love I was searching for I could live without because it wasn't healthy." I confessed.

"So I started to build friendships and if a relationship budded out of that, great, but if not it's not a big deal." I added.

"You've been so amazing to me, from literally picking me up off my butt to seeing you Jake. You, as a person, are so dedicated and driven to help others...And I haven't seen that in anyone."

"Come on! Let's finish this run, slow poke!" I urged. A smile crept across his lips before he murmured, "game on."

* * *

After we finished our run I drove back to Charlie's. I fiddled around in the kitchen, searching for something to make for dinner. I found a few chicken thighs in the fridge and settled on baking chicken.

Renee rubbed off on me so I also incorporated vegetables in my meal. After I was finished cooking, I left a portion out for me before leaving the rest in the fridge for Charlie to have later.

I pulled out assigned reading for my classes before opening my planner. As I began reading for English, I made a mental note to complain to Angela on the volume of reading Professor Gallagher gave us.

Sometime later I heard the front door's latch click before the door swung open. Charlie shuffled through the doorway before throwing his jacket on a hook. He put his badge and his gun away with care in a cubby.

"Hey, Bells," he said with a grin. Although his expression reflected exhaustion, a big smile framed his lips.

"Hi, Dad," I said, pushing my chair behind me as I gave him a hug. He caught me awkwardly before embracing me for a moment.

"Did you have dinner?" I asked him.

"Nope, I'll just order some pizza," he replied.

"I left some chicken from earlier in the fridge. You can heat it up in the microwave," I said, gesturing to the fridge.

"Thanks, Bells, you didn't have to do that." Charlie said, raising his eyebrows before walking to the fridge.

"I figured you'd get home late from your shift and I made extra," I explained nonchalantly.

"Veggies?" Charlie said, observing the plate I'd made for him.

"They're good for you, Dad," I smiled. He huffed before putting them on a plastic plate. I got up from my seat before reaching for a glass plate in the cubbard.

"Here. Plastic is bad for microwaves," I said, correcting him.

"I've done this hundreds of times and it's been fine," he said.

"It's sheer luck it hasn't exploded or something," I sighed. He chuckled before sliding his dinner on the plate I gave him.

"Did you see Jake?"

"Yeah, we went for a run," I smiled.

"Good. He's good for you, Bells," Charlie commented as he punched in the cook-time on the microwave.

"He is," I agreed as a smile tugged on my lips.

* * *

Charlie and I spent the remainder of the evening catching up. The next morning I woke up bright and early to go on a short run. I debated texting Jake, but he needed his sleep.

I left a note for Charlie before I grabbed my keys from the counter. Before I shut the door, I grabbed a bananna and ate it in my car on the way there. I had a preference for running on the beach so I settled for First Beach.

The beach was empty as I expected it to be. After I stepped out of my car I tied my shoe laces before jogging.

I made myself a mental checklist of what I had to do. I hadn't talked to Renee in a few days so that went at the top of my list. I remembered Angela was moving Ben in today and I needed to text her to see how that was going.

Charlie was off-duty tonight so I needed to run to the grocery store because the refrigerator was practically empty besides cans of beer. Charlie mentioned that I should invite Jake and Billy over for dinner tomorrow night.

As I ran, I began to hear rustling behind me. It was windy out, so I assumed it was the breeze. I cut off into the woods about twenty minutes in. After a few minutes of running in the forest I began to see a dark figure darting across the forest.

I made it to the clearing before the figure stopped. I blinked a few times, figuring that maybe it was a trick of the eye.

"Bella," the voice of my nightmares hissed. I felt my heart drop to my stomach as my heart sped up exponentially. In front of me, Laurent paced back and forth. His crimson eyes studied me for a moment.

"You look different, but you smell the same," he observed as he slowly began coming towards me. I felt my heart pound in my ears as my throat grew dry.

"Edward's not here anymore," I said, my voice cracking.

"He stopped using you as a blood bag? I doubt it!" He chuckled.

"He's gone, he left me. Please let me go," I pleaded.

"Victoria has had a vendetta against you...I don't blame her, your mate did kill hers," he cackled.

"He's not my mate," I argued.

"Edward would not have killed James if you were just a pet," he shook his head.

"He's gone," I said, raising my hands up in surrender.

"You should be grateful I found you instead of Victoria; she would have dragged this out. I'll be quick, I promise," Laurent said. At his words, I began to shake in fear.

"Ple-please you don't want me. I don't know where Edward is, let me go,' I pleaded.

"You should be thanking me...she's been planning your death for quite some time. You're a hard one to track, little one," Laurent continued. He darted closer to me so that were practically a breath away.

"I'll be quick. I almost didn't recognize you, but then I smelled you..." He said, sniffing the air.

"Please," I murmured, my teeth chattering with fear.

Just as he placed his hands on my neck and pinned me to the ground, his weight vanished. Surrounding me were four wolves and I braced myself for impact. They were disinterested in me.

Instead, they placed their full attention on Laurent. Adrenaline coursed through me as I shuffled before sprinting through the foorest towards the beach. My heart pounded in my chest as my mind replayed the images of the wolves.

I'd never seen wolves that size before, they were piratically huge. I found my car with ease before stuffing my keys into the ignition. I couldn't believe Laurent found me. After all this time I was sure I was safe again.

The four wolves varied in color-one deep brown, one grey, one black, and one red.

The deep chestnut colored wolf's eyes met mine for a moment back in the clearing. The dark brown eyes were so familiar, and shined with concern. I knew those eyes, but I couldn't place them.

Somehow, I made it to back to Charlie's without having a full-fledged panic attack. I unlocked the door before I sprinted up to my room and closed the door. I worked on leveling out my ragged breathing.

I found my laptop before opening up Google. With my hands shaking I typed the word: "werewolves." I tapped my fingers anxiously against the desk. I scrolled through the results before I found a legend about werewolves.

Strangely, the legends originated from the Quileute tribe. Jake's words echoed in my head: "legends." Old Quil's origin legend played in my head before it clicked. Werewolves. Protectors. Jake.

My mind traced back to moving into my dorm. Seth said something so insignificant it completely went over my head at the time. However, the pieces began to connect.

 _I haven't seen you since Sam brought you out of the woods that day," Seth chimed in. Instead of pain flaring in my chest, I didn't feel anything at his comment._

 _"Yeah, it's hard to believe that was almost two years ago," I murmured, shaking my head._

 _"I'm so glad we haven't seen the bloodsuckers since!" Seth exclaimed. Jacob shot him a warning glare._

Seth shouldn't know about Edward's family; he had no reason to know they were vampires unless...

It made perfect sense, if vampires were real there had to be something to counteract or challenge them.

I heard a knock at the door sometime later. I ran down the stairs, my heart thumping my chest.

Jake stood before me, his brown eyes meeting mine. Suddenly it all clicked. His eyes: the same eyes I'd seen in the chestnut wolf.

"Bella, we need to talk," Jake said, his tone strangely even.

"I know what you are," I murmured, my voice shaking.

* * *

 **Well, that's a cliff hanger. It had to happen, sorry y'all. How much is Jake going to tell her?**

 **And I know this mirrors the encounter with Laurent in _New Moon._**

 **Leave me a review to let me know what you think!**

 **Until next time,**

 **Princessinblues**


	12. Butterflies

**I'm back! I'm sorry it's been so long, my mother in law ended up staying with me for a while which added a whole new dimension of cramped in our tiny home. Student teaching started which means I have little time other than getting phone calls in the middle of the night from my husband because we're in two different time zones (thank you deployment.)**

 **Thank you all for your patience. Next chapter coming soon, let me know what you think of this one.**

* * *

 _ **I was just coasting, never really going anywhere**_  
 _ **caught up in a web, I was getting kind of use to staying there**_

 _ **Out of the blue**_  
 _ **I fell for you**_

 _ **Now you're lifting me up, 'stead of holding me down**_  
 _ **Stealing my heart, 'stead of stealing my crown**_  
 _ **untangled all the strings, round my wings, that were tied.**_  
 _ **I didn't know him, and I didn't know me**_  
 _ **cloud nine, was always out of reach**_  
 _ **now I remember what it feels like to fly**_  
 _ **You give me butterflies**_  
 _ **You give me butterflies**_

 _ **Kiss full of color, makes me wonder where, you've always been**_  
 _ **I was hiding in doubt, 'til you brought me out, of my chrysalis**_

 _ **I came out new**_  
 _ **all because of you**_

 _ **Now you're lifting me up, 'stead of holding me down**_  
 _ **Taking my Hand, 'stead of taking my crown**_  
 _ **untangled all the strings, round my wings, that were tied.**_  
 _ **I didn't know him, and I didn't know me**_  
 _ **cloud nine, was always out of reach**_  
 _ **now I remember what it feels like to fly**_  
 _ **You give me butterflies**_  
 _ **You give me butterflies**_

 _ **~Butterflies-Kacey Musgraves**_

* * *

"Bella, can we go somewhere to talk?" Jake asked, anxiousness coloring his tone.

"Yeah, I really don't think I should drive right now..." I trailed off, knowing I was still in a state of shock.

"I don't want you passing out on me," Jake agreed. He looked at me with a silent invitation as I closed the door behind me. I tried to regulate my breathing which was nearly impossible considering my heart was jumping out of my chest.

Although Jake's eyes were anxious, he seemed strangely calm. We drove in silence to First Beach where I was only hours earlier. Thoughts swirled in my head as I expected him to confirm my suspicion.

He opened my door for me and walked beside me as we reached the beach. He sat beside me, waiting for me to fall to pieces. I grasped the grains of sand as his eyes met mine.

"You're a werewolf," I blurted out. Jake pursed his lips before he nodded.

"How did you figure it out?" Jake asked.

"It took me a while, but after this morning...I saw that wolf's eyes, Jake. I couldn't place those eyes, but I knew in that moment that the wolves weren't going to hurt me. I got home somehow without having a panic attack and Googled werewolves," I answered, crossing my arms around my chest.

"I clicked on a link that gave me a Quileute legend and that reminded me of Old Quil's legend...And suddenly it all made sense...You talked about how you are a protector and Seth said 'blood sucker.'" I admitted.

"Then, I remembered those dark brown eyes the brown wolf had...And I remembered who they belonged to," I confessed. Jake listened with rapt attention as he sat criss-crossed.

"Bella, there were a thousand times and if you don't want to talk to me after this, I understand," Jake said, studying me for any signs of distress. There was a lingering question that bounced around my head...

I knew that vampires could hurt people, after all they can kill people. Edward's family was a fluke; most vampires fed on humans. If vampires can kill people, could Jacob?

"Jake, I just have one question for you," I murmured, meeting his anxious gaze.

"Only one?" Jake asked, with a chuckle. The hardened line his lips made vanished for a moment.

"This one is important," I said, playing with my fingers.

"Do werewolves kill people?" I asked, my voice shooting up an octave. He studied me for a moment before he chuckled and shook his head.

"Remember how I told you I was a protector?" He asked softly. I bobbed my head before he responded.

"We are designed to protect people. Since they exist, we do," Jake explained. My eyebrows furrowed as I thought about who 'they' were. Then, it occurred to me, he was talking about vampires.

"So you don't kill people?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Bella, do you seriously not care that I morph into a giant dog?" Jake asked, raising his eyebrow. My eyes widened as I looked at him with confusion.

"You didn't answer my question," I said, urging him.

"You're scared that I'm a murderer?" Jake questioned.

"I can't sit around and look the other way if you're hurting people...There are innocent people, Jake, people like Charlie..." I said, heat coursing through me as I said the words with venom.

"Is that it? Really?" Jake asked, a smile breaking across his face.

"If you're hurting people..." I began, but before I could finish he lifted me into his arms. He wrapped me in his arms so tightly, I struggled to breathe.

"You're scared because you think I'm a murderer, not because I turn into a furry massive dog," Jake said with relief. I didn't understand why it was such a hard concept to grasp, he was still Jake.

"Jake-can't-breathe!" I said, beating on his chest in attempt to break free.

"Oh! Sorry honey," he murmured, releasing me. I took a deep breath appreciating the air filling up my lungs.

"I'm not a murderer," he said softly. I let a sigh of relief leave me before I wrapped my arms around his neck. I didn't care that he could turn into a wolf, I cared if innocent people were hurt.

"If I was, it would kind of defeat our whole purpose," Jake laughed.

"What do you mean?" I pulled away to look at his expression.

"We're protectors, Bella. We exist because they do," he explained. My eyes widened as I understood who he meant by 'they'. If Jake knew that there were vampires that meant...

"Vampires?" I said.

"What happened to Laurent?" I asked, fear gripping me. What if he was still out there? If he was out there and knew where I was then that meant that Victoria could find me easily.

"The black-haired leech?" Jake asked.

"He's gone, Bella. He was almost too easy for us, we can take down one bloodsucker with the size of our pack," he answered. I breathed a sigh of relief before I pressed my cheek to his chest.

"How did you know him?" Jake asked. I gulped before I replied. I couldn't find the words to adequately explain so I pulled away from him for a moment. I felt my left hand for a moment before locating the scar.

I held up my hand for him to inspect it. He looked inquisitively at me for a moment before recognition flooded his features.

"Bella, did he bite you?" Jake asked, clenching his fists.

"Do you remember my accident last year?"

"Yeah, you were in a cast at prom," Jake answered, clenching his fist for a moment.

"It wasn't an accident," I murmured.

"What happened?" Jake asked, anger flooding his features. I closed my eyes for a moment to collect myself.

"I was with Edward's family last year when we ran into some trackers...James caught my scent and became obsessed with finding me. They tried to protect me, but I thought he had my mom..." I broke off, recalling James' threat.

"James beat me up pretty bad; he bit me," I admitted.

"How are you not one of them?" Jake asked, beginning to shake. He reminded me of when I told him about the guy at the party. I took a cautious step back before I continued.

"Edward sucked the venom out, but the scar is still there." I replied.

"So, Laurent was James' friend?" Jake asked.

"Yes, but he came to tell me something else," I said, fear returning to my features.

"Bella, you're safe, he's gone. He can't hurt you anymore," he soothed, pressing me to his chest. He didn't realize the gravity of this situation with the all-too real reality that Victoria was looking for me.

"It's James' mate, Victoria. He came to warn me about Victoria..." I admitted, tears filling my eyes.

"Victoria wants revenge?"

"She wants a mate for a mate," I confessed.

"Bella, I promise we will keep you safe. She won't get to you, I won't allow it," Jake assured me. I didn't want him getting hurt in the crossfire for me. I couldn't allow him to sacrafice himself for me.

"Jake, this is my fight," I reminded him. I didn't want Jake fighting my battles for me even if Victoria was way stronger than me.

"Bella, she's a vampire. No offense, honey, but she can kill you. Hell, that black haired leech was set on killing you," Jake reminded.

"Jake..." I started, but he cut me off.

"Bells, this is what we do. We protect our people, it's our job. I will keep you safe," he promised, gently reaching to push a way-ward hair behind my ear.

"Charlie..." I murmured, my voice cracking. I could deal with her coming after me, but Charlie was off limits.

"We'll run a detail on your house, he'll be safe," Jake suggested.

"Thank you," I said, pressing my face into his chest. He chuckled before his thumb found my chin; he tilted my chin up so he could look at me.

"For what?" He asked, his breath fanning my face.

"For saving me earlier," I answered. If Jake and his pack didn't arrive when they did, I would have been Laurent's next meal.

"Of course, Bella, anytime," Jake said, pulling me closer. I pulled away a moment later before I started to walk along the shore. The wind cut across my cheeks while arranging my hair into a tangly mess.

Jake looked ahead at me before he asked.

"Do you need a minute or?"

"Come on," I urged. He probably thought I was still in shock over his admission. His signature lopsided grin spread across his lips before he joined me.

"How many of you are there?" I asked curiously while I looked at the sand under me.

"Well, there's a pack. There's Sam, Quil, Embry, Leah..." Jake answered. I raised my eyebrow as I cut him off.

"Leah?"

"Yeah, that was a surprise. She started phasing with her brother after her father died," Jake explained. Poor Leah, it must have been hard for her to lose her father and then find out...

"Poor Leah," I said with a frown.

"Don't feel too sorry for her, she makes our lives hellish on a regular basis," Jake said with a sigh.

"It must have been awful to lose your father and then," I said, thinking aloud.

"It was rough on her," Jake agreed.

"Who else?" I asked, squinting to meet his gaze. He stuck his hands in his ripped jean pockets as he continued.

"Jared, Seth, Collin, and Brady," Jake answered.

"So how do you become a werewolf?" I asked, curiously.

"Do you remember the origin legends?" Jake asked. I recalled Old Quil's telling the legends during the bonfire.

"Yes," I nodded.

"Well, it's a genetic thing really. The original members of the tribes, like the chiefs, were werewolves. They're often called shape-shifters. Anyway, some of us are born with the gene and we don't start phasing until we're teenagers," Jake replied.

"That's why you look so different now," I said, my eyes widening.

"Yeah, I started phasing soon after you left for Jacksonville. At first I phased all the time. I grew like a foot," Jake said. My mind flashed to prom night when I saw him with his long hair; I recalled his hair reached his shoulders.

"You cut your hair..." I murmured. Jake pushed up the sleeve on his left arm. On his tricep was a intricate tattoo.

"When did you get that?" I asked, studying the intricate design.

"After I joined the pack," Jake answered.

"Sam was the first, right?" I questioned.

"In my generation and he's the alpha or the head of the pack," Jake explained.

"Does the gene skip generations?"

"Yeah, sometimes. We've had more members since..." Jake trailed off. I felt an eyebrow raise at his words. What external circumstance could trigger it? He looked at me hesitantly fora moment before he continued.

"The Cullens came," Jake said, he seethed. I nodded my head as I possessed the information. It all made sense though, if vampires settled near then there had to be a counter-effect.

"It makes sense," I agreed.

"Did the numbers decrease when they left?" I asked. Jake looked confused as I fired off my next question.

"Well...Um...Yeah, I guess. I don't know, there's been more phasing recently," Jake responded, tripping over his words.

"Are there vampires in the area?" I asked curiously. If there were vampires in the area an increase in numbers of the pack could be explained. Jake shifted for a moment before he looked out to the crashing waves in the distance.

"We ran across a few scents, but until today we haven't actually seen one," Jake answered. I must have looked green because he moved his hands to my shoulders as if he was trying to steady me.

"Bella, you're safe. I promise," Jake said, his ebony eyes meeting mine. I let out the gust of air I was holding after he spoke. I closed my eyes before taking a deep breath.

I was certain that when I left for Jacksonville, I circumvented the danger. Since Edward left, I figured her vendetta would expire.

"I believe you. I trust you," I smiled halfway at him. Jake already won my trust, he did so many months ago, even in my inebriated state many months ago, I trusted him.

"Thank you," he muttered like an answered prayer.

"Bella?" He called. There was something else on his mind, I could tell by the crinkle on his forehead.

"Yeah?"

"Are you really okay with all this wolf stuff? I mean, I was fully expecting you to run away and scream." Jake said, his eyes meeting mine. He crossed his arms around his chest.

I thought I made it clear that I didn't care what he was if he didn't hurt people. Jake couldn't choose what he was, it was already determined for him. On the other hand, I wished he told me earlier.

At this point, I didn't even know what normal was. Seeing Jake this vulnerable was strange; he was always such a macho-man. He acted tough all the time, but underneath that cool and confident exterior...

"Bella?" He tried again, attempting to get my attention. I drew myself out of my thoughts.

"I'm sorry it wasn't more of a theatrical performance on my end, I should have run away and screamed bloody murder," I said slightly teasing. A smile broke out across his lips as he chuckled.

"You're my best friend, Jake, no weird supernatural stuff can change that," I assured him. His eyes tightened as I spoke before he enveloped me in his arms. My eyes closed as I breathed a sigh of relief; no more secrets.

* * *

When we left the beach, Jake drove us over to Emily's. As we entered the dirt driveway I noticed many cars lined up.

"Is there a gathering or something at Emily's?" I asked Jake. He turned to me after parking at the end of the driveway.

"Not really, she has dinner sometimes at her house. With her, it's always an open invitation," he answered. He shut his door before he came around to open mine.

"Do Emily and Rachel know?" I asked curiously.

"Yep, they've known for a while now," Jake replied.

"How did they respond?"

He chuckled before he shook his head.

"Not as well as you did." My eyebrows furrowed at his words. This wasn't my first time dealing with the supernatural. When I left for Florida I envisioned myself finally cutting free from the supernatural.

It was clear life had different plans for me. If there were vampires, there had to be an enemy to them; it was simply nature balancing itself out. I could feel Jacob's gaze on me as I kept my attention on the loose gravel crunching below me.

"I was expecting..." Jake said, trailing off. He didn't have to finish the sentence; I already knew what he was going to say. Running. Screaming. Fleeing for the roof tops.

"Did Emily and Rachel react that way?" I asked curiously.

"Along those lines," Jake replied. We reached Emily's creaky porch before he opened the screen door for me.

"It's customary to knock you know," I said, reminding him. Jake shot me a smug grin before chuckling.

"It's hard to sneak up on werewolves," Jake winked. As I was rolling my eyes at his smart-ass comment, Emily greeted me.

"Bella, it's so good to see you! There's a plate waiting for you in the living room," Emily said, a wide smile across one side of her face.

"Thank you, Emily, it's great to see you as well," I murmured before embracing her for a moment.

"Hey Em," Jake said, waving.

"There's two plates waiting for you," Emily said with a chuckle. I peered over at Jake before rolling my eyes at him; his appetite was insane. Jake smiled impishly at me, then winked at me.

He walked over to Sam as I heard Leah call my name. I scanned the room to see her; she was lounging on the couch sipping a beer.

"You know, don't you?" Leah asked, her deep brown eyes piercing mine. I suspected she meant that Jake was a werewolf.

"How'd you know?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing together.

"I'm perceptive. Wild stuff, huh?" She asked, with a snicker. The supernatural became common place for me so I shrugged.

"I forgot you were vampire girl," Leah said, with a frown.

"For a while, I guess," I said, with a huff.

"Glad you're on our team now," Leah smirked. Rachel stared at me from the opposite side of the living room as she propped herself against the wall. Her dark ebony eyes met mine before she walked over to me.

"Jake told you," she murmured, setting her hand on the table. I nodded.

"I guess you took it well, since you're still here," Rachel said, raising an eyebrow.

"It was a surprise, but it makes sense," I said, meeting her glare.

"I know all about you, Bella," Rachel said, sipping her beer. I wasn't about to stoop down to her level.

"Really?"

"You dated a vampire for a while and you went home to Jacksonville to escape. And now you come back and waltz into Jake's life," Rachel said shaking her head.

"I'm not going to hurt Jake," I said, realizing she was probably scared I was going to hurt her baby brother.

"How much longer are you going to string him along? He's not a crutch you can just use when you're lonely," Rachel huffed. I was taken aback at her comment. I knitted my eyebrows together as I shook my head.

"Jake is my best friend, he's been incredible to me. He helped me out on a bad night, and yes, I made a mistake that night. I own up to my mistakes. But I'm not the girl who left this town two years ago, I grew up. I don't need to be saved, I picked up the pieces by myself," I said, standing up. Although I was a few inches shorter than her, I stood firm.

"I understand you want to protect your brother, and I'm not going to hurt him. I really don't appreciate being judged by you or being pushed down for messing up when I was seventeen. I'd like to think we're all better than our worst days," I murmured.

"We're both women, and the last thing we should do is tear each other down. We should be on the same side, we've both got enough to deal with," I said, trying to compromise.

Jake walked quickly up to my side. I could feel Jake's frustration radiate off his body as he began to shake

"Rachel, lay off," Jake instructed, meeting his sister's gaze.

"Jake, I'm fine," I assured him, turning to him for a brief second. For a brief second, his eyes grew lighter and he grew less tense. As he met Rachel's gaze again, his body tightened. He seemed to try to press in front of me to protect me. I edged him so that we were hip to hip, I didn't need protection.

"I don't want to hear it, I've had enough of your high school drama. You've been nothing but a royal pain to Bella. You should apologize to her," Jake said, his dark eyes growing angry.

"She doesn't have to apologize. I want a genuine one," I cut in. Rachel's eyes grew wide as she took in my words. Jake looked down at me with a smirk.

"Damn Rach, you just got out sassed," Embry hollered. Rachel shook her head before she retreated. Paul walked after her in attempt to calm her down. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes.

"Good for you," Emily said, bringing me in for a hug. Leah arose from her seat on the couch and held out her hand for a handshake.

"It's about time someone shut up her whining," Leah chuckled. Jake leaned down to whisper in my ear.

"'Atta girl," he whispered, his breath heating my ear. I could feel my cheeks heat up as his warm breath enveloped my cheek. Emily smiled, noticing my cheeks reddening at Jake's proximity.

"Jake and Bella," Sam called, beckoning us over to him. I looked at Jake questioningly before walking beside him to Sam.

"Jake told you," Sam said, his dark eyes meeting mine.

"Yes," I murmured, knowing immediately what he was talking about.

"I won't tell anyone," I promised, answering his unspoken question.

"It's best for everyone's safety," Sam said.

"She figured it out on her own," Jake said, meeting Sam's gaze. The corners of Sam's lips lifted slightly.

"That doesn't surprise me," Sam laughed.

"She's a smart woman," Jake agreed, winking at me. My thoughts shifted to Rachel; I wondered if she was upset.

"Is Rachel okay?" I asked, slightly above a whisper. Jake chuckled before shaking his head.

"She's fine, she needed a minute to cool off," Sam assured me. I didn't mean to hurt her feelings, I simply wanted to stop being a doormat.

"She was treating you like shit, don't over think it," Jake whispered in my ear. I let out a breathless chuckle, he knew me too well.

"I don't want to burn bridges," I murmured.

"She'll get over it," Sam said, with a small smile.

"Bells, do you want to go back to my house?" Jake asked suddenly. Charlie was on duty all night which meant I'd be at the house alone.

"Sure," I nodded.

"It was great to see you, Bella. We'll see you soon," Sam said, smiling brighter at me.

"Thank you for having me."

"Bella!" Emily called, running in from the kitchen.

"It was so good to see you, Bella. Please come around anytime," Emily smiled before enveloping me in a hug.

"Thank you, Emily. I will," I assured her.

"Do I have your number? We should hang out sometime," Emily said, whipping out her phone. I laughed as she handed me her phone. After I put my number into her phone, we said our goodbyes.

Jake and I walked side by side on the gravel drive way.

"You held your own back there," Jake said, breaking the silence.

"Thanks, I'm not used to it," I shrugged. From childhood to near adulthood, I rarely spoke up for myself. I learned gradually overtime, but it did not come easily for me.

"You're a strong woman, Bella. Start seeing yourself as one," Jake suggested.

"Thanks, Jake," I said, blush creeping on my cheeks.

"You're welcome," he smiled, showing his dimple. I felt bad that I put him in an awkward with his sister. Jake walked around the car to open my door for me.

Jake opened the door for me hundreds of times, but I almost forgot what it was like to have a man open a door for me.

We drove past a few forests as I laid my head against the window's cool glass.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Jake asked curiously.

"I'm sorry I put you in an awkward situation," I murmured.

"Bella, can you move your face away from the glass?" Jake asked, shaking with laughter. Crimson flooded my cheeks as I adjusted.

"I'm sorry I put you in an awkward situation," I said more clearly.

"You don't have to apologize. Stuff between us has always been awkward," Jake shrugged. I put my hand on his arm, "I'm sorry," I murmured.

"She and I are just different. She went off to college and became a nurse and then suddenly comes back to La Push after pretending like we don't exist for four years.

"After Mom died...she just changed, we all did. But she turned colder I think to hide the pain. Paul encouraged her to be more open about it and she's getting better," Jake admitted.

She and I shared leaving our hometowns in the dust to escape the pain. I couldn't imagine losing my mother like Rachel and Jacob had.

It made total sense why she was so guarded and withdrawn; wounds cause people to turn into people they weren't before.

"Poor girl," I muttered with a frown.

"It's hard to like her sometimes, but I love her. She's my sister, you know?" Jake asked, the corners of his lips turning upwards for a moment. I pursed my lips for a moment; I always admired how Jake was so dedicated to both his sister and father.

"I understand," I nodded.]

"Don't try to overthink it, Bells. You stuck up for youself, something you should do more often," Jake said, his eyes drifting away from the stretch of road in front of us for a moment.

"Thanks, Jake for helping me," I said, as I leaned back against the leather seats. He let out a huff before he rolled his eyes.

"It's all you, Bells," he assured me. He was wrong though; he never shied away from calling me out when I was being ridiculous.

Jake allowed me to be exactly who I was, I didn't have to change. The most bizarre component was that the more time I spent with Jake I became more myself more.

I always wondered how Jake was still single; he never talked about dating. He was very busy between helping with the pack and his dad.

Still, Jake could have any woman he wanted. He was such a gentleman, but not in the Victorian way. Instead, he was a modern gentleman who simultaneously respected a woman's freedom while somehow not being an asshole.

The next time I opened my eyes, Jake's gray garage door greeted me. He was already out of the car, walking around to my side.

He opened my door gently, he still didn't think I was awake.

"Hey sleepy girl," Jake murmured softly.

"Sorry," I apologized, my throat thick with sleep.

"Aren't you a sleep-deprived college student?"

"Yes," I laughed.

"You're fine, Bells. If you're beat, you can sleep in my bed. I have some work in the garage to do," Jake offered.

"Jake, you don't have to give up your bed." I chided.

"Bells, I barely use it," Jake reminded me. I rolled my eyes; he didn't' use it because he was out on patrol so often.

"That isn't a good thing," I reminded.

"That's fair, but you're practically dead on your feet," Jake said, kneeling so he was eye-level with me. He pushed gently back a few way-ward hairs behind my ears.

"Ugh, fine," I muttered as I got up. Jake walked beside me, making sure I wasn't going to topple over. He opened the front door. He navigated me through a few narrow hallways until he flickered on the light to his bedroom.

Jake's bedroom was accented with gray except for his blue striped comforter.

"How do you fit in this?" I asked.

"I don't, my feet usually dangle off. But you on the other hand should fit," Jake answered as he pulled the covers to expose the sheets.

I laid down in his bed, my head finding purchase on his pillow. Jake knelt next to me as he fixed the covers around me.

"Get some sleep, sweet girl. Give me a holler if you need anything, I'll be in the garage." Jake spoke, his dark ember eyes meeting mine.

"Thank you, Jake," I murmured.

"Anytime," he whispered. I heard him flip off the light as I snuggled closer in the comforter. As I started to drift off, I heard his footsteps across the floor. I felt a slight warm pressure against my forehead before I heard the door creak close

A few years ago, I would have flinched at the forehead kiss; now I welcomed the warmth as I drifted deeper into a comfortable slumber.

Sometime later, I woke up to the sound of the coffee maker. I knew Charlie was out of town, so I didn't have to tell him why I wasn't home.

I blinked a few times before I stumbled over to the lightswitch to turn on the light. I caught a glance of myself as I walked by Jake's bathroom mirror.

My hair was a mess and half my face was red from my pillow's imprint.

"Jake?" I called, opening the bedroom door.

"Hey sleepy girl," Jake called back. I followed the sound of his voice into the kitchen.

"Why are you making coffee at…" I said, skimming around the kitchen for a clock.

"Nine at night?" I asked curiously.

"Dad and I aren't morning people and I wanted to make sure there was coffee when you woke up," Jake said, shrugging.

My heart swelled at his kindness.

"Jake…" I murmured, throwing my arms around his neck. He caught me and steadied me before winding his arms around my waist.

"All this for making you coffee?" Jake asked with a snicker.

"Coffee is very important," I argued against his chest.

"It is," Jake agreed. I let go of him as I stepped out of his embrace.

"Where's Billy?" I asked.

"Some fishing trip," Jake rolled his eyes.

"No wonder he and my dad are such good friends," I laughed.

"They're two peas in a pod," Jake agreed.

"What have you been working on in the garage?" I asked.

"Why don't I show you?" Jake asked, leading me out of the kitchen. We walked side by side until we reached the garage.

Inside the garage, Jake was working on a car. It was clear the car was an antique; from my first glance at it I could tell it was a Mustang.

Charlie was obsessed with older cars and always wanted to buy one.

"Is that a '67 Mustang?" I asked curiously. Jake's eyebrows shot up as my words registered.

"Yeah, it is," he said, quickly recovering.

"My dad loves his Mustangs and I picked up a little bit from him," I answered his unanswered question as he got back under the car.

"I remember the first time you saw a Mustang in my garage," Jake grinned.

"You have a thing for them?" I asked with a chuckle. He pushed out from under the car so he could look at me for a moment.

"They're classics," Jake said.

"If you're just gonna stand there and stare at me can you get me a wrench?" Jake asked cheekily.

"I might as well hit you with it if that's the way you ask," I said, easily finding the wrench on his station.

"Can I get a re-do?" Jake asked.

"Try and I'll see if it works," I said, bartering.

"Beautiful Bella, can you please hand me a wrench?" Jake asked. Blush heated my cheeks at his words as I handed him a wrench.

His warm hand sought mine as I let go of it.

"You're blushing, aren't you?" Jake asked with a chuckle. He wasn't even looking at me when he said it.

I huffed as I leaned up against the wall.

"I can read you like a book, Bells." I loved and hated that about him.

"I know," I rolled my eyes.

"You talk in your sleep; do you know that?" Jake asked as my eyes grew wide.

"Did you watch me sleep?" I asked, my voice raising an octave.

"No, I went to check and make sure you were alive and you were talking up a storm," Jake laughed as he rolled out from underneath the car.

"What did I say?" I asked, combing my head through every embarrassing secret I had.

"You said 'home' a few times," Jake said with a crooked smile. I laughed, that wasn't as embarrassing as I thought.

"Well that's not so bad," I smiled. Jake became one of my favorite reasons for coming home, and in many ways, he became home.

"You like being back in Forks, huh?" He asked.

"Forks is nice, even though it's rainy and dreary. But that's only part of it," I smiled, pushing myself off the wall.

"What's the other part?" Jake asked.

"Well, home also means who you're with; and this right here is home," I explained, meeting his gaze. As his dark brown eyes met mine and he smiled impishly I felt the soft beating of something I never imagined I'd feel again.

Butterflies.

* * *

 **Wow. Well that chapter was heavier than usual.**

 **Leave me a review to let me know what you thought about it.**

 **XOXO,**

 **Princessinblues**


	13. If You Told Me To

**Guess who just finished her Master's degree? I just graduated this weekend! Anyway, after celebrating by having a Skype date with my husband (thank you deployment) I had extra time to sit down and write this.**

 **This is an important chapter everyone! Let me know what you think about it by leaving me a review. I'll update periodically over the next few months before the school year starts.**

* * *

 ** _I'd paint you a picture, write you a song_**  
 ** _And I'd do it all over if I did it all wrong_**  
 ** _I don't wanna steal you away_**  
 ** _Or make you change the things that you believe_**  
 ** _I just wanna drink from the words you say_**  
 ** _And be everything you need_**  
 ** _Yeah I could be so good at loving you_**  
 ** _But only if you told me to_**

 ** _I've seen a lot of good love go to waste_**  
 ** _And I don't wanna look back on these days_**  
 ** _Knowing all the things you'd never know_**  
 ** _If I never said a word and let you go_**  
 ** _I don't wanna steal you away_**  
 ** _Or make you change the things that you believe_**  
 ** _I just wanna drink from the words you say_**  
 ** _And be everything you need_**  
 ** _Yeah I could be so good at loving you_**  
 ** _But only if you told me to_**

 ** _I don't wanna steal you away_**  
 ** _Or make you change the things that you believe_**  
 ** _I just wanna drink from the words you say_**  
 ** _And be everything you need_**  
 ** _Yeah I could be so good at loving you_**  
 ** _But only if you told me to_**

 ** _Maybe this is something I'll never be_**  
 ** _But I'll be right here till you tell me._**

 ** ** _~If You Told Me To-Hunter Hayes_****

* * *

I twirled a curl absentmindedly around my finger as I chewed on the inside of my lip.

"It's great you're spending more time around Charlie, I'm sure he appreciates that," Renee said as I held the phone closer to my ear.

"We're so much alike it freaks me out sometimes," I sighed. Renee let out a chuckle and I imagined she rolled her eyes at my answer.

"You two are carbon copies except for your looks." I rolled my eyes at my mother's comments. Of course she would assert I got my looks from her.

"Mom..." I protested.

"You have my hair, you're welcome for that. You do not have your father's eyes," Renee argued. My eyes were brown much like Charlie's, but Renee believed the green and blue speckles near my cornea were hers.

"Mom, I have brown eyes just like him," I reminded her.

"That's true, but when you turned six months old my blue eyed baby had green and blue speckles in those eyes," Renee said with a giggle.

"Right, Mom. Anyway, how has your weekend been?" I asked, eagerly changing the subject.

"Well, Phil and I went on a romantic walk on the beach yesterday and we just came home from dinner. We went to that sushi place you always raved about and now Phil is watching film," Renee said as I peered out my window.

"You mean Kabuto? I didn't know you liked Sushi," I murmured, surprise coloring my tone.

"Well, I wanted to try something new and I remembered you liked that sushi place," Renee explained.

"And Phil was into it?" I asked with a chuckle.

"He tried it for me, I'm sure he'll order fried chicken later," Renee laughed.

"I didn't think sushi was really Phil's thing," I laughed. Phil loved American food, like fried chicken and pizza, and stayed in his comfort bubble.

"How's Jake?" Renee asked suddenly. My stomach did a summer sault before I responded.

"I just got home from Jake's like an hour ago," I responded as I heard her intake of breath.

"You spent all day with him?" Renee asked curiously.

"Most of it, yes. Charlie is on duty and he won't get back until tomorrow morning. I'm leaving him left overs in the fridge," I answered. Whenever Charlie came home from patrol, I heard the refridgerator door open as he scoured for food before conking out in his bed.

"What did you two do today?" She asked excitedly.

"Well, we went to the beach earlier before we went to Emily's house. After that, I fell asleep in his car so he let me sleep at his house for a bit while he worked on his Mustang," I replied.

"Emily is Sam's girlfriend, right?" Renee asked.

"Emily is Sam's wife, they just got married over the summer," I corrected her.

"Oh, wow! Was Rachel there?" I let out a sigh before I answered.

"Rachel was there," I replied, putting a hand on my forehead.

"Was she nice to you this time?" Renee asked.

"Eh, not really. She's still warming up to me I guess," I shrugged. She was warming up to me about as fast as a glacier.

"What a brat, can't she get over herself?" Renee huffed.

"Mom, she is Jake's sister and I'm sure she has her reasons," I reminded her. I didn't like gossipping about her even if I wasn't her biggest fan at the moment.

"I forgot how mature you are sometimes," Renee sighed

"I would have kicked her ass by now. It sounds like she needs to be put in line. I mean, how could she not like you? I'm a little biased, but I think my baby girl is incredible. It's clear she has a stick up her butt or something," Renee added.

"Mom..." I murmured.

"What did she do today?" Renee asked.

"Nothing she hasn't done already, Mom. It's fine, I promise. I stuck up for myself today," I assured her.

"You did! I'm so proud of you; I know how hard that is for you," Renee said, her voice growing softer. Renee was perceptive; she knew me better than I knew myself sometimes.

"Thanks, Mom," I murmured softly.

"It sounds like you and Jake are really comfortable with each other now. How long have you two been friends?" Renee asked curiously. I knew where she was going and I decided to go with it.

"Since I came in August, so around six months," I responded.

"And you two are just friends?" Renee inquired.

"Yes, Mom," I said with a sigh.

"And I'm guessing you're the one who drew the boundaries there," Renee commented. I rolled my eyes at her; I didn't write the boundaries. With Jacob the boundaries came naturally.

"I don't think we ever really drew boundaries, Mom. Being with him is easy as breathing," I admitted. I remembered a few months back when Jacob made a similar statement.

"Have you ever thought of redrawing them?" Renee questioned.

"Mom, he's a great friend and I really don't want to mess up what we have. He's not pushing me, and I don't know..." I shook my head as I chewed on my lip.

"Baby, you can move on you know. You're allowed to love again and fall in love again. It may never feel like what you had for him but you deserve to be with someone who loves you and in your own time. I'm not pushing you here, I'm just suggesting it doesn't hurt to put yourself out there every once in a while," she suggested.

I knew she was right, there was still a part of me that kept everyone at a distance. I didn't want to compare Jacob and Edward because they were like apples and oranges. I knew that Edward would always own a piece of my heart because he was my first love.

I was confident however that he wasn't my last and that comforted me. He would always be a happy memory of butterflies and innocent love. Now, I believed I outgrew that kind of love.

Instead, I wanted a love that could withstand the every day disasters. I didn't have to feel a rush when I was with them; I could feel safe. I didn't have to feel my heart take off my chest because I knew that's not what a long term love does.

Love that lasts is eerily simple, it involves coming back to the person even after a fight. Most of all, that kind of love may fade but over time it shines brighter through the trials.

"What are you thinking about, babydoll?" Renee asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"I'll be open to it if it happens," I promised her. I couldn't deny the way my feelings grew for Jake over the past few months. He was my soft place to land and my rock admist the change in my life.

He didn't push me to be anything I didn't want to be. He let make choices while promising to stand with me through them. Most of all, he let me fall without letting me go.

"Good, baby. I'm proud of you. I remember when you first came to Jacksonville; you were skin and bones. Now, you're healthy and your hair shines again. I see your smile more often now, the same smile I saw when I fed you your favorite meal when you were a baby," Renee said with a giggle.

"Cheerios?" I guessed. Renee always commented on my love for Cheerios from an early age.

"Of course," she replied. She was missing a very important piece of the puzzle. Without her guidance and her constant presence I wouldn't have healed. She didn't have long speeches about how it would get better, she was just there.

She held me on the cool bathroom tile when I cried my eyes out on the bad nights. She brought in burned dinner when I didn't venture out of my room. She pushed me to brush my hair when it was the last thing I wanted to do.

"Mom, you were the one who helped me heal. Not Jacob, it was you. You were there through every bad night. You watched crappy rom-coms with me and threw popcorn at the television _Legally Blonde_ style. You made me brush my hair and get up to go to school every morning," I reminded her. I never imagined how close I would get to my mother during my time in Jacksonville.

Part of it was I let her get close to me. I let her see me at my most vulnerable.

I could hear her sniffle on the other line. Before I could comfort her she let out a laugh.

"You were the one who got yourself out of bed every morning. Yes, I may have encouraged you by ripping your blanket off of you," Renee reminded. I let out a laugh.

"All I did was encourage you, baby to see yourself as the incredible woman you are. I hope one day if you choose to have children you will do the same for your daughter," Renee added.

"Thanks, Mom." I murmured.

* * *

After the phone call with Renee, I rushed down to the kitchen nearly tripping down the stairs. Charlie wouldn't be home until the early hours of the morning knowing him. I scavenged the fridge and found some ground beef for chile.

Grandma Swan's chile was delicious. I somehow found the recipe by accident when searching for my keys by the entry way earlier. I knew Charlie would be thrilled to have it again.

I heard my cell phone ring off in the distance before trying to remember where I threw it. I sprinted around the kitchen searching for it before finding it in between the couch cushions in the living room.

"Hello," I answered, still catching my breath.

"Jeez Bella, hi to you too," Angela laughed.

"I just ran around the room looking like an idiot to talk to you," I said with a sigh.

"You lost your phone again, didn't you?" Angela asked.

'"Guilty as charged, but hey it was misplaced, not lost." I reminded her.

"Okay clearly you're absorbing something out of our debate class. Where are you?" She asked.

"I'm at Charlie's, how did Ben's move in go?" I asked, remembering she was probably knee deep in boxes.

"It was a pain, but he's all moved in now. I never thought men had a lot of crap, but he does," she said with a huff.

"Well he is living there for the next few years," I reminded her.

"That's true, but my arms are gonna hurt like hell tomorrow. How are you? How's your weekend been?" Angela asked curiously.

"It's been good so far; Charlie is out on call now so I spent most of the day with Jake," I answered.

"Ooh, did any action happen? Did you finally cross the friend zone?" She asked, rushing out questions quickly.

"Ang, we're friends. We did take a walk on the beach and go to Emily's house for a while," I replied.

"Friends? Right. They're called romantic walks on the beach, Bella. How was Emily? Was Rachel there?" Angela questioned. I forgot I told Angela about Rachel. I decided to ignore her other comments on the friend zone.

"Emily is good, she and Sam look so happy together. Rachel was there too," I replied, chewing on my lip.

"Did you two finally duke it out?"

"Angela!" I said in alarm.

"What? It's a legitimate question," Angela said.

"No, it's still awkward though. I did stick up for myself," I admitted.

"'Atta girl. What did you say'?"

"I basically told her to stop tearing me down. The last thing women need is to be torn down by other women," I said with a shrug.

"Amen, women need to stick together." Angela said in agreement.

"I'm proud of you, Bella. I know how hard that must be. Did you go back to Jake's after that fiasco?"

"Yeah, I fell asleep in the car so I slept on his bed while he worked in the garage," I replied. I knew I had to fill more details for that situation because if I didn't, it would open up a whole different can of worms.

"What a gentleman," Angela commented.

"He is," I agreed. I didn't know if I should tell her about the butterflies I felt in his garage. Maybe she could give more insight into that situation and my feelings toward him. Without a doubt my feelings for him changed over the past few months.

Angela must have noticed the silence as she cut in.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Angela questioned. I forgot how perceptive Angela was; she was somehow able to read people like a book. I took a deep breath before answering.

"It's probably nothing, but when I was in the garage with Jake I felt something," I admitted, closing my eyes as I awaited her response.

"Like what? A leak coming from the ceiling? Lust? Love?" I cracked up as she listed off those scenarios.

"Butterflies," I replied, a smile crossing my lips.

"Well, it's about time, babe. I've been waiting to hear those words from you for months," Angela said with enthusiasm.

"I just don't want to mess it up...Our friendship I mean. I mean, I haven't felt this way about a person since...And there's still.." I blabbered on.

"It's okay to be a little scared, Bella. That's normal. Jake is a good guy and he loves you. I bet he's been waiting for you to make a move. You have to make a decision; if you want to act on the way you feel or if you want to continue with the unspoken. I can't say for sure, but Jake seems dedicated to you. I doubt he's gone on dates since he started hanging out with you," Angela said as I pursed my lips.

"What do you mean?" I asked. How did she know Jake wasn't dating?

"I've seen the way he looks at you, Bella. I've seen that look before; it's the look my grandfather gives my grandma after fifty years of marriage. It's the look I see when I photograph weddings when the groom looks at the bride. That 'look' can't be manufactured or faked," Angela explained.

"So your whole theory rests on a look?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Trust me on this, Bella. If I'm wrong I'll happily admit how wrong I am for the rest of my life. But I don't think I am," Angela responded. I shook my head as I processed her words. Jake spent considerable time with me and even drove three hours to pick me up. He dropped everything on a Friday night to help me and witness me at my worst.

He went above and beyond the call of friendship. Could that mean he had feelings for me? I remember the way he looked at me the day I moved into my dorm. He immediately expressed incredible concern over a bruised foot.

"You don't see it, do you?" Angela asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

I didn't have to do mental aerobics to figure out what she meant. Could he have been waiting for me to catch up the whole time?

"Jake has been an incredible friend, Ang. It's possible has feelings for me," I answered.

"You dodged the question. Bella, you don't have to call him up and show up on his doorstep to proclaim your undying love for him right now. I just think it's important to be open to your friendship morphing into something more. Sometimes, when we focus on friendships we end up surprised to find those friendships morph into a relationship. That's what happened to Ben and me," Angela said urgently.

Angela was right, I didn't have to rush it. I knew in the back of my mind that my budding feelings would make encounters awkward with him. There was something different and slightly terrifying about flipping to a new chapter.

However, I was confident this chapter was different from the last and held brighter horizons.

* * *

"Bella?" I heard Charlie's voice break through my sleep-induced haze. I readjusted, realizing that I fell asleep with my face in a textbook again. I could feel the imprints on my cheeks from the page's edges.

Somehow I made it to a sitting position as I tried to move my neck to release a kink from it.

"Dad," I murmured, putting a hand over my eyes.

"You fell asleep in a book again," he chuckled as he leaned against the doorway.

"Mhmmm," I muttered, my voice groggy with sleep.

"I woke you up because in your sleeping positions you'd wake up with a massive head-ache; you looked so uncomfortable," Charlie explained as he came closer.

"Did you find the left overs?" I asked as I tucked myself under the covers.

"I did, thank you, Bells. Did you have a good time with Jake today?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah, it was good. We went to Emily's and then Jake worked on his Mustang," I replied as I laid my head against the pillow.

"I'm glad you had a good time. Get some shut-eye and we'll go to the diner for breakfast tomorrow morning," Charlie said softly as he turned my beside lamp off.

"Mmm pancakes," I murmured as I closed my eyes. I heard Charlie laugh before he closed my door gingerly behind him.

* * *

Sunlight peeped through my blinds as I woke up the next morning. I heard Charlie rustling downstairs and I rushed to put on clothes. After I glanced in the mirror, I decided to forego make up.

I splashed water on my face before haphazardly tied my hair back with a loose bun. I rushed down the stairs to meet Charlie in the kitchen. It was a rare sight to not see him in his uniform. Instead, he was dressed in jeans and a flannel.

"Dad," I greeted. He turned around from his spot in front of the refridgerator. I caught a glance at the photo of me holding a fish as a five year old on the fridge.

"Do you remember this?" He asked, pointing to the picture. I studied the photograph more intently, noticing the Marlins jersey that overwhelmed my five-year-old frame. My hair was back in uneven pig-tails.

"Yeah, I caught it on my Barbie fishing rod," I said, with a smile. On my first cast, I almost dropped the whole rod in the river.

"It was your first one," he laughed, his eyes twinkling.

"Anyways, you don't wanna listen to your old man reminisce. You hungry?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Starving," I answered. He chuckled before he slid on his police jacket along with strapping on his concealed gun to his ankle.

"You're armed wherever you go?" I asked curiously.

"Even when I'm off duty, I can be on duty on a moments notice," Charlie answered. I shrugged on my pea-coat as he opened the front door for me.

"It's been a while since we were last here, do you any recommendations?" Charlie asked once we were at the restaurant.

"You'll recommend the breakfast platter with eggs over easy," I said, rolling my eyes.

"You still remember," Charlie commented.

"Of course, you know the menu by heart," I laughed.

"That's true, Bells. I used to come here all the time," he admitted as he met my gaze. I knew he probably came here when I was away in Jacksonville. I could imagine he ordered pizzas and take-out.

"You get a home-cooked meal every once in a while," I winked at him.

"I'm very grateful, I missed your cooking," Charlie laughed.

"I bet you did."

"Bells, is school going okay? I know you come home every weekend, and I'm just ugh...worried. I love that you're here, but you can stay on campus too," Charlie said, discomfort in his tone.

I let a small smile creep across my lips. Charlie tried to stay out of my business most of the time.

"Dad, school is great. I'm just personally not into the party seen at UW. I reconnected with Angela over the past few months. I want to spend time with you and I like seeing Jacob too," I replied.

Charlie's lips turned up in a smile.

"You're spending more time with Jake. He's a good man, but is there anything between you two?" Charlie asked curiously. Blush pooled in my cheeks as I shook my head.

"We're really good friends, Dad," I responded.

"Any boys at school?" Charlie asked.

"Nope, a lot of them are frat guys," I said, rolling my eyes. Washington had a mixture of either guys who barely came up to breathe from their textbooks or frat guys.

"I find them in the woods all the time drunk during their hazing rituals," Charlie said, grumbling. I blinked a few times to dispel any mental images of that taking place.

"Great," I muttered.

"I'm glad you're staying away from them," Charlie said.

"Of course, Dad. My days of dating boys are over," I assured him. With that, he let out a big grin as he dove into his breakfast platter.

* * *

A few weeks passed as I busied myself with group projects. Angela practically lived in the Chemistry building as I lived in the English building. Before the last few weeks of school, I declared English as my major.

Stress induced finals week passed in a blink of an eye. Jake drove all the way from La Push to deliver coffee and my favorite pancakes during a late-night study session in the library.

After I finished my first year, Charlie took me out to celebrate at his favorite diner. Renee was busy with Phil as he criss-crossed around the country for training camps.

During the lull week after finals, I managed to find a job as a waitress. It was vastly different from Newton's Outfitters, but it helped me finance for an apartment in the fall.

May was still a relatively cold month so I threw on a lightweight hoodie and a pair of cropped jeans. I caught a glance in the mirror as I threw on Charlie's old baseball cap to camouflage the bad hair day.

Charlie was on duty again for the second Saturday in a row, even though he requested off. As I walked down the stairs, I found the coffee pot filled with coffee. I smiled as I realized Charlie left some for me.

The pot was still warm as I poured some into the travel mug Charlie gave me for Christmas. It was only fitting that it was branded with the Forks Police Department insignia.

I packed my paint set along with two canvases into the trunk of my car. I grabbed my coffee cup before I locked the door behind me. When I heard the lock click I turned my head to see the night sky above me.

I decided to drive to First Beach again to draw the sunrise. Every time I planned to come on a clear morning, I slept through it. After I grabbed my two canvases from the back seat I found a spot on the seemingly endless sand.

I dug my coffee cup an inch into the sand so it wouldn't topple over due to a rogue gust of wind. I began to sketch with a pencil as the sky slowly changed colors.

Often in Jacksonville, I painted the sunrise. However, the sunrise on First Beach differed greatly. There weren't any pollutants in the sky to impact the sky color. Instead, the sunrise was surprisingly pure.

As the sun began to rise, I reached for my paint set. As I painted, I managed to spill paint on my hoodie near my wrists. I pulled back the sleeves of my hoodie as I continued to paint.

After I painted the sky I turned my attention to the blue-green ocean waves. I sunk my toes into the cold damp sand as I began. Sometime later I felt feet smack into the sand.

Usually, the beach was fairly vacant. The footsteps drew closer before I raised my eyes to see the visitor.

"Hey Bells," Jake greeted. I drew a sigh of relief as my eyes met his.

"You scared the crap out of me," I admonished.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. You're up early," Jake murmured as he stood in front of me. I pretended that my heart didn't speed up as he grew closer.

"I wanted to see the sunrise. I always sleep through it or it rains," I said, with a shrug.

"Do you mind if I join you?" Jake asked, his dark ember eyes meeting mine.

"Sure," I said, my cheeks reddening. I felt the sand dip as he sat beside me. He sat resting his palms behind him. Without thinking I shielded my painting from him.

"Why are you hiding your art?" He asked, noticing my behavior.

"Because..." I started. Part of me wanted to say it wasn't that great. Instead, I decided to go with, "it's not finished yet."

"It looks great so far, Bells. Are you sure you're not an art major?" Jake asked, teasingly.

"Painting is a hobby, Jake. It helps me think and relax," I explained. My eyebrows furrowed as I realized he was up early too.

"What are you doing up so early?" I inquired.

"I just got off patrol and I saw you," Jake replied. He was already so sleep deprived and now he chose to be even more sleep deprived? Was he mad?

"Jake, you should go home and catch up on some sleep," I suggested.

"I can do that later, Bells. I haven't seen you in a while," Jake said, his lips turning downwards in a frown. He was right, I came up with a bunch of bogus excuses for why I couldn't hang out with him last weekend.

The underlying reason was I didn't know how to deal with the flurry of emotions.

"Did I do something wrong?" Jake asked, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He didn't do anything wrong, he was doing everything right. Maybe I was scared because I didn't want to mess things up with him.

Over the past few weeks my feelings continued to grow.

"No, of course not!" I said, raising my voice slightly.

"What's wrong then, Bells?" Jake asked, shifting so he sat in front of me. I bit my lip as I tried to find the words to explain. My eyes turned towards the grains of sand below me.

I took a deep breath before Jake's finger gently upturned my face so he could look into my eyes. I decided to brace myself for the onslaught of awkward that was about to take place.

"Jake, do you go out on dates anymore?" I asked. I smacked myself internally for how stupid that sounded. Jake's eyes popped open as wide as saucers as he raised his eyebrows.

"That's random," he commented. I bit down on my lip harder.

"No, I don't. I haven't gone on a date in months," Jake admitted, putting his hands on his knees.

"Why?" I asked, letting out a breath.

"Let's go for a walk," Jake suggested, as he got up. He held one massive hand out to me to help me up. I grabbed it as he hoisted me up so I was vertical. I walked beside him as he grew closer to the shore.

"I don't want to," Jake answered simply. I raised an eyebrow at him.

"That's the answer that you thought was 'let's take a walk' worthy?" I asked, my voice raising an octave. He let out an uneasy laugh as his gaze flickered to mine.

"You've been avoiding me, Bells. And I don't want you to ever feel uncomfortable around me," Jake explained. He was right, I was avoiding him but more than anything I was avoiding the feelings I had for him.

"It's not you, Jake. I just want to make sure I'm not standing in your way of seeing someone," I admitted, drawing my eyes to the waves lapping at the shore.

"What do you mean?" Jake asked with a chuckle.

"You hang out with me almost every weekend and I just don't want to hold you back," I responded.

"Holding you back? You make this sound like you're taking me hostage or something," Jake quipped. I elbowed him in the stomach as I held back a laugh. Damn him for making me laugh when I wanted to have a serious conversation with him.

"If you want to go on dates or see someone I just don't want to be in your way." I repeated.

"Where did this come from, Bells? If I wanted to go out with someone, I would," Jake said, his eyebrows furrowing together as confusion laced his tone. Did he not want to date anyone?

"Are you just not into dating? I know this is none of my business..." I began, fumbling with my words.

"Bella, we've been friends for months now. You can ask me anything, there isn't anything off limits. And yes, I'm not dating anyone right now," Jake asked.

"I wanted you to know that if you wanted to go on a date with someone you can talk to me about it," I said, biting my lip. Jake stopped in his tracks before he turned to face me. He gently took a hold of my hand so he could spin me around to face him.

"There is one woman I'm interested in, but I'm waiting until she's ready," Jake murmured. I retraced memories back in my head for any woman he could be talking about. Maybe it was a girl at school, or a girl on the reservation...

"Those wheels are turning again, Bells, and I can't believe you can't see it," Jake said, shaking his head. He met my gaze as he waited for me to process. I bet I looked clueless.

"Bella, it's you," Jake admitted. I felt blush pool in my cheeks as I processed his words. Me?

His warm welcoming eyes studied mine.

"Jake..." I managed as my heart went off like a helicopter in my chest.

"I need to say something first. Bella, I'll wait forever. If you want to be just friends that's fine with me. I'm not going to push you, I just wanted you to know it's you, Bella. It's always been you." Jake said steadily as he was mere inches away from me. His warm hand sought mine.

"Jake you're going to get paint all over you," I mumbled weakly. Jake shook his head before he met my gaze.

"Sweet girl, I've dreamed about holding your paint covered hands," he said, lacing his fingers through mine. Blush heated my cheeks at his words.

"I'd love to take you out for dinner sometime, on a real date," Jake added. I parted my lips as I waited for words to come out.

"I'm scared," I blurted out, immediately covering my mouth after I said it. He gingerly squeezed my hand in his.

"Why are you scared?" Jake asked tenderly as he swept a way-ward hair behind my ear. He wanted me to explain it? How could I explain it? I was scared because I felt something for him that I couldn't compare anything to.

The depth of my feelings scared me. He was such a gentleman, so patient with me...My eyes widened as I realized the emotion I saw in his eyes so many times before.

When he came into my dorm that night and carried me into his car. When he came so easily to my defense when Rachel grilled me. When he looked at my paint covered hands with such admiration in his eyes.

That day on the beach when I defined our friendship. He always wanted more, but was willing to settle. There wasn't a reason a sane person could stay with one person even when they didn't feel the same way...Unless, the expression in his eyes was love.

The same 'look' Angela pointed out on that phone call some months ago. He drove three hours to deliver coffee and pancakes to me...

Jake's love was different, it was patient and held no conditions.

"Bella?" Jake called anxiously, drawing me back into the present.

"I've never felt anything like I've felt for you and I'm terrified. I'm terrified because I don't know if I'll live up to your standards or I'll mess it all up," I said, tears collecting in my eyes.

Jake saw the un-shed tears and carefully pressed my head against his chest.

"Bells, I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here and I'm staying here," he assured me. He didn't have eloquent words or a movie worthy line to comfort me. Instead, he stood there like my rock in the storm.

"What do you think we should do?" I asked him, shaking as I looked up at him.

"How about we go on three dates," Jake suggested. Dates? Plural? Don't most people decide if they want to continue after a single date? He wiped the few tears that fell over my eyelids.

"What if it blows up?" I asked my eyes growing wider. I didn't want to lose his friendship if things went south.

"It'll be something to laugh about years down the road. We'll go back to being friends, Bella." He made it sound so easy. I wondered why he suggested three dates.

"Why three?" I asked.

"First dates are always awkward, Bells. People walk on egg shells around each other. The second date is when people start to feel comfortable around each other," Jake explained. He still didn't justify the third one.

"The third?"

"Three is my lucky number," he grinned as he kissed my forehead. I managed to roll my eyes and let out a giggle as I pressed my face into his chest.

* * *

 **It finally happened y'all. Next chapter is date time! Let me know your thoughts by leaving me a review. Until next time!**

 **-Princessinblues**


	14. Begin Again

**Hey y'all it's been a while! Good news is this is the first date chapter and a peek into the second date. Life has been crazy lately, between teaching and prepping for next school year. Let me know your thoughts on this chapter!**

* * *

 _ **I've been spending the last eight months**_  
 _ **Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end**_  
 _ **But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again**_

 _ **And we walked down the block to my car and I almost brought him up**_  
 _ **But you start to talk about the movies that your family**_  
 _ **Watches**_  
 _ **Every single Christmas and I want to talk about that**_  
 _ **And for the first time what's past is past**_

 _ **'Cause you throw your head back laughing like a little kid**_  
 _ **I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did**_  
 _ **I've been spending the last eight months**_

 _ **Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end**_  
 _ **But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again**_

 ** _~Begin Again-Taylor Swift_**

* * *

"Are you attached to your sandy coffee?" Jake asked as we walked back over to my previous spot on the sand. The tense moments dissolved between us in a matter of seconds.

"I only had a few sips of it," I shrugged. I looked down at the sand covered travel mug as I spoke.

"Can I get you a new one?" Jake asked, his eyes meeting mine. The man knew the fastest way to my heart was through caffeine.

"Sure," I agreed. I knelt down to grab the travel mug before walking alongside him to the parking lot. Jake helped me put the canvases in the trunk of my car.

"If you want, I can drive us there or you can follow me," Jake suggested. I remembered that I was spending the night at Angela's.

"I can follow you," I responded. Jake nodded as he walked towards his Rabbit. Taking a deep breath, I leaned up against my car. There wasn't a doubt in my mind Angela would freak out when I told her.

When Jake pulled out, I followed behind him. He led us to a small strip mall. La Push was fairly small and I remembered him telling me they had a strip mall. There were stores scattered throughout the reservation.

He pulled into a parking spot in front of a small coffee shop; the coffee shop had a few outside tables. I looked down at my hoodie and realized I had paint splattered on the sleeves and on my midsection. I pulled down the driver mirror and grimaced as I saw paint streaks on my cheek.

How could Jake take me serious when I looked like this? I attempted to rub away the paint with my thumb. Jake tapped on the glass moments later to grab my attention.

I shut the mirror before I opened my door.

"Why didn't you tell me I had paint on my face?" I asked him. He let out a chuckle as he walked me to the front.

"It suits you," Jake replied. I rolled my eyes.

"You always have paint on you, when you don't I get worried," Jake explained. He did have a point; painting served as a coping and relaxing mechanism for me.

He opened the rickety door for me. The coffee shop played traditional Quilieute music, I picked up a few of the songs by the bonfires I'd been to.

"Is this the place you got coffee from when you brought it to me for finals?" I asked curiously.

"Yep, I'm not a Starbucks guy. And there's no Starbucks in La Push," he responded. I wasn't a fan of Starbucks either and the coffee he brought me that day was excellent.

I looked at the menu for a moment before I decided to stick to black coffee.

"Hi, can I have a medium hot coffee?" I asked the friendly barista.

"Of course," she replied.

"That'll be two dollars," she said.

"Do you mind if I cover it?" Jake whispered in my ear. I felt goosebumps where his lips brushed my ear.

"No," I replied almost breathlessly.

"I'll have the same," Jake said to the barista. She poured us both coffees in mugs before she handed them to us. He handed her a five-dollar bill before he walked us over to a small round table.

"I forgot you drink it black too," I mused with a laugh.

"Charlie likes all the crap in it, doesn't he?" Jake asked as he held the mug.

"Yeah, I'm trying to wean him off it," I laughed. I studied his face for a moment before I noticed the prominent circles under his eyes. He always had dark circles under his eyes.

"Jake, do you ever sleep?" I asked, concerned.

"I nap a lot," he responded. I rolled my eyes at his response.

"Jake...sleep is healthy, you know. Besides, do you ever get a night off?" I asked. Surely he had to get a night off. I imagined his patrol could be similar to Charlie's...

"Nope, but it's what I have to do, Bells," Jake said before he took a sip.

"But it can't be healthy what you're doing. Are there really any vampires here?" I asked, whispering. Jake took a deep breath before he pursed his lips.

"We caught a scent of a new one a few weeks ago...We've been on alert since," Jake admitted. He cautiously worded his statement which was interrupted with pauses; he had a calculative expression on his face. Maybe he was waiting for me to fall to pieces at his words.

I could feel my heart drop to my stomach as I gulped. Could that mean Victoria was back? Or maybe one of the Cullens...

"The animal attacks," I murmured, remembering Charlie mentioned something about it a few weeks ago. Those took place in Port Angeles though. I imagined they were by a vampire.

"They're not by wolves," Jake said, gripping his mug tighter. If not by wolves that left one supernatural creature I knew of left...

"So vampires?" I whispered, trying to keep my voice down.

"Yeah, they're happening once or twice a month now...The police let the case grow cold until a new one shows up," Jake replied. Those poor people...I hated that innocent people were victims of these crimes.

"Do you think there's more than one?" I asked.

"We've only gotten the trail of one, but it's possible," Jake replied. He could see the fear in my eyes as his hand stretched across the table to hold mine for a moment.

"I will keep you safe, Bells. I promise, they won't touch you," he vowed.

"I just don't want you to get hurt," I murmured. I didn't want Angela to get hurt or Charlie because of this. I couldn't put the pieces back together if Victoria was back, but the last thing I wanted to have happen is any one to get hurt in the crossfire.

Jake chuckled before he rolled his eyes.

"Bella, I'm fine. We can deal with this," Jake assured me. Victoria managed to outsmart the Cullens almost three years ago. The wolves were powerful, but Victoria was older and craftier.

She managed to evade the Cullens and she sought revenge. I could feel the color fall from my cheeks as I stared at the coffee in my mug. Jake must have noticed my change in demeanor as he reached across the table to gently take hold of my hand.

"Don't worry about this, we'll take care of it. You're safe with me," Jake said with confidence. As his deep soulful brown eyes met mine I believed him. At his words, color returned to my cheeks.

Jake saw my return to calmness as a chance to change the topic.

"So about these three dates..." Jake began with excitement blooming in his tone.

"Does this count as one?" I asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.

"Nope," Jake said, popping the p. It had been months since I'd been on a real date. Sure, Angela and I went out with fake IDs to bars for drinks a few nights at the end of the semester, but that hardly qualified as a date.

"I was thinking dinner," Jake said for clarification. I worked a few days this week at the diner.

"I work doubles on Monday and Tuesday and Thursday," I said, biting my lip.

"Does Wednesday night work?" Jake asked.

"Yeah." Charlie was on duty that night which left me at home with an empty house.

"Are you gonna give me any hints about what these three dates entail?" I asked as I sipped my coffee. Knowing Jake, he wouldn't reveal anything. A sly grin spread across his face before he replied.

"Nope, I was excited you even said yes," he admitted his cheeks tinted pink. He was ridiculous, of course I would say yes. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Of course I said yes," I said, meeting his gaze.

"It was one of the best surprises of my life," he laughed.

"Good, I'm excited for the next three in my life," I murmured raising my eyebrows as I saw his impish grin reach his lips.

* * *

After Jake and I grabbed coffee I drove to Angela's house. Angela told me earlier her brothers along with her parents were away for the weekend. I knocked twice on the old wooden door waiting for her to answer it.

A moment later, Angela opened the door wide. She huffed a few loose hairs escaping from her messy bun away from her face.

"I got your text! Tell me everything," Angela said with a grin as she grabbed my hand to lead me inside. She sat down on a burgundy 'L' shaped couch then patted a space for me to sit down.

"We talked it out and he asked me out on three dates," I replied, placing my hands neatly in my lap as I sat down.

"Come on, more than a sentence. I want a novel," Angela said, rolling her eyes.

"I thought about what you said and I realized he didn't go on dates. I felt so guilty because he could use the time he hangs out with me to do that. I didn't want to stand in his way," I said, elaborating.

Angela waited with baited breath for me to continue.

"And he said he wasn't dating anyone and he wasn't interested in dating," I said. Looking back at that moment, I realized he fumbled with his words then just as much as I did.

"He said he's waiting on one girl, and that girl is me. He asked if I wanted to go on three dates because first dates are awkward as hell and second dates are usually better," I said as I tried to read her expression.

"Three?" Angela asked, knitting her eyebrows together.

"It's his lucky number," I laughed.

"Where were you two? I need to know for my speech at your wedding," Angela said with a wink. My cheeks glowed red in response as I rolled my eyes.

"First beach, I was painting," I answered. She leaned back against the pillows as a smile spread across her lips.

"How are you feeling?" She asked. My focus went back to my hands in my lap. Immediantly the word nervous came to mind. Jake was different and maybe that's what scared me.

I was scared to put myself out there again. Vulnerability was never my strong suit. The feelings I had for Jake were incomparable to any I had before for anyone. The last time I dated someone seriously I was sixteen.

I knew there was a very real possibility I could be in a serious relationship with him.

"I'm kinda nervous," I said as I let out a forced chuckle.

"It's okay to be. First dates are scary especially when it's your best friend," Angela said, touching my hand soothingly.

"He's different, Angela. I haven't been in a serious relationship with someone since I was sixteen," I admitted. Angela's eyes grew soft as she gripped my hand tighter.

"You don't have to think about that right now. Go on that date with an open mind and heart. All you have to think about is if you want to go on another date with him," Angela reminded.

She was right, I often looked at the finish line before I looked at the start line.

"I already have feelings for him, Ang. Isn't that not supposed to happen before a first date?" I asked, my eyebrows furrowing together.

"Not necessarily. You've been friends for a while now," she shrugged.

"But still...What if I do something weird? Like have toilet paper stuck on my shoe? Or spill my drink all over my lap? Or trip?" I asked, listing off entirely possible scenarios.

"You're weird, Bella. I love you, but you're weird. Jake knows this and I think he kinda likes it," Angela said with a laugh. The tenseness in my shoulders relaxed at her words.

"I guess so," I nodded my head. I had to let go of my insecurity that ruled my life for so many years; I couldn't blame it exclusively on that alone because I had let it consume me.

"You're blind. These past two semesters at school I've wanted to hit you with a two-by-four so you would see," Angela laughed rolling her eyes. I slapped her playfully in response.

"So what are you wearing? Has he told you where he's taking you?" Angela asked curiously. I pursed my lips before I answered.

"He hasn't told me specifics," I admitted. He was super cryptic about the details because he intended for the dates to be a surprise. Angela huffed before she looked at my phone as if she was questioning to use it. I nodded, raising an eyebrow unsure what her next move was.

She picked up my phone and scrolled for a moment before she found her target. She pressed the speaker button as I read the number on the screen.

"Angela! Why are you calling him?" I asked, my voice shooting up a few octaves.

"He's being an asshat in not giving specifics so if he wants to keep it a surprise from you that's fine. But, in order to get you ready I need to know some parameters," Angela explained.

Jake picked up on the second ring.

"Hey Bells," he greeted his voice warm.

"Hey Jacob, this is Angela, Bella's friend. We're trying to figure out what she should wear for Wednesday," Angela said, cutting straight to the chase. I could feel my cheeks glow with blush.

"Bella will look beautiful no matter what she wears," Jake answered.

"That was cheesy and sweet as hell. I'm gonna transfer you off speaker phone so I can ask you where you're taking her," Angela said as she reached to take the phone off speaker phone.

Angela nodded as Jake told her his plans.

"Awesome, well thanks. Don't screw this up. Bye," Angela said before she ended the call. She scanned me a moment.

"Do you own any dresses?" Angela asked curiously.

"Maybe like two," I answered. Angela raised her eyebrow for a moment before she grabbed my hand. She dragged me up the steps to her bedroom. Sea-green walls greeted me along with pictures covering the walls.

Angela sat me on her bed before she opened her closet door. Rows of dresses colored her closet; she organized them by color. She yanked out many dresses before she turned around.

"You look great in blue, green, and red. Here," she said, handing me dresses.

"Try these on," she said encouraging. I combed through her choices before I disappeared into the bathroom. I put on the first emerald colored wrap dress. The dress itself was simple, which I appreciated. While it hugged my chest to my stomach, it flared out at my waist.

"Bella!" Angela called impatiently. At the sound of her voice, I came out of the bathroom and walked carefully back into her bedroom.

"You look gorgeous, Bella," Angela complimented.

"What do you think?" She asked as I took in the reflection of the girl staring back at me in the mirror.

"It looks good," I murmured.

"Try on another one, but this one is a contender," she commented. I trudged back into the bathroom before zipping myself out of the emerald number and into a cobalt colored dress.

I let a half smile spread across my lips as I realized the strong resemblance to the dress my mother gave me back in Jacksonville. The dress was made out of a tee-shirt material and featured a sweetheart neckline with an empire waist.

The dress made me look like I had more curves than usual.

"Damn," Angela said as soon as I walked out.

"You look great in blue," Angela said, adding on. I felt blush pool in my cheeks at her words. I studied my reflection in the mirror for a moment as Angela waited with baited breath.

I could wear blue, but I was inching towards the green. The green dress was something new and outside my comfort zone.

"Bella?" Angela said, calling me back. I shook myself out of my thoughts as I met her gaze.

"The green one," I murmured.

"I thought for sure it'd be the blue, but the green will be great," she mused. The blue was the safe choice because I wore the color often. However, green was more outside my comfort zone and thus reflected my leap of faith.

"I want to try something new," I said with a smile framing my lips. Angela beamed at me as she registered the weight of my words.

"Oh Bella, I'm so proud of you," Angela said, bounding up from her spot to envelope me in a warm embrace.

* * *

The emerald dress contrasted the deep wine colored comforter on my bed. I twisted my hands together as I stared at it while I donned an old white robe. My hair was still damp from my shower.

Angela assured me that the dress would look beautiful on me, but my worries weren't on the dress anymore. Instead, I felt butterflies tremble in my stomach as I realized I was going on a date.

Not just a date, but a date with Jake. Part of me rationalized that he was my best friend. Being with him was as easy as breathing, but as the months went on I grew nervous around him.

The gravity of my feelings stunned me. I took a deep breath before I held up the dress with shaky fingers. I slid the dress on before I paused at the zipper. Closing my eyes I exhaled as I felt the zipper glide up.

Once I was in the dress I examined myself in the mirror. The girl with bright eyes and color in her cheeks again was me. Now I could see what Jake saw and it had nothing to do with the dress.

Instead, I saw the woman with light curious brown eyes and a sky sized heart. As I managed to put a light covering of mascara on my lashes along with a swipe of eye-liner I saw my phone light up.

To: Bella Swan

From: Angela Weber

Send me a pic when you're ready! So excited for you. I'm expecting all the deets afterward.

I beamed before I set my phone back on the counter. My hair cascaded into curls down my back after I dried it with a hair dryer. I caught one last glance at myself before I grabbed a pair of gold sandals from my closet.

Angela reccomended heels, but I wasn't that brave; I knew my limits. A shrill high pitch dinged echoed through the house. Charlie arose from his lounging position in his Lazy boy chair.

"Jacob, it's good to see you," Charlie said, opening the door. I paused at the top of the stairs as I took him in. He wore a dark pair of blue jeans and a gray shirt rolled up to his elbows. Jake gave Charlie a hand shake before he responded.

"Good to see you too, Charlie," Jake said without missing a beat.

"You be good to her, got it?" Charlie said gruffly.

"I will," Jake vowed. I walked the remainder of the stairs as I reached Charlie's side. Jake took a deep breath as he scanned me from head to toe.

"You look beautiful," Jake said, with an impish smile as he presented a bouquet of sunflowers. He remembered my favorite flower. I smiled brightly at him as I reached for a vase.

"Thank you," I murmured, both at his compliment and for the flowers.

"Nice choice," Charlie commented as he glanced at the flowers.

"Thanks, chief," Jake said with a grin.

"Have fun tonight," Charlie said as he eased away from the door. I smiled at him before I closed the door lightly behind me. Jake's gaze met mine as if he'd been zeroed in on me the whole time.

"Hi, beautiful," Jake said, beaming we walked to his car.

"I wasn't expecting flowers. They're beautiful, Jake. Thank you for remembering," I murmured, feeling the butterflies in my stomach starting to do the salsa.

"Sunflowers are very you, Bells. They can grow almost anywhere and wherever they grow, they blossom." Jake said and I could feel my stomach flop at his words.

"Wow, Jake, you're smooth," I said teasingly.

"I hope so," Jake said cheekily.

"So you've been secretive about where we're going," I said as he opened the passenger seat door wide for me. His small gestures made my heart beat staccato in my chest.

"You're not much for surprises are you? Well, I wanted it to be special. I know you could do a hell of a lot better than me, but I want to treat you as you deserve to be treated," Jake answered. My eyebrows furrowed together as I contemplated his words.

"You've been treated like a breakable doll and you're not. You're tiny, that's true but Bella there's a fire in your eyes. A fire that others have tried to dim but it still burns even after buckets of water have been thrown on it," Jake said, as we started driving down Forks' main road. For once, I didn't have the urge to correct him to reject the compliment.

Jake didn't throw around compliments like confetti.

"Heaven help the person who thinks you're a glass doll," Jake said with a chuckle.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked, holding back a chuckle.

"You're a tough woman; you're brave, fierce, and most of all kind. You haven't let the world make you hard," Jake admitted.

"That's what I lo-like about you the most," he added, blush heating his tan cheeks as he stumbled through his words. We reached La Push in a matter of minutes. As the car pulled into a parking spot I surveyed around. There was an older diner with plenty of cars around the parking lot.

Before I could open my door, Jake appeared to open the door for me.

"Thank you," I murmured as I grasped onto his large calloused warm hand to help me out of the Rabbit. I was surprised that he settled on walking beside me instead of holding my hand as we walked.

"This is a La Push classic, it's been around for years. I know it's no five-star restuarant but I would stick out like a sore thumb there," Jake chuckled. I laughed at his honesty as I shook my head.

"I'm not cut out for it either, I'm simple," I admitted as he held open the door for me. Instead of a hostess, guests sat themselves. Jake found a fairly secluded two person table with a checkered table cloth.

"I like this place," I said with a smile as I looked around at the cozy woodsy atmosphere around me. There was a small bar in the middle of the restuarant.

"It's one of my favorite places to go," Jake agreed.

"I don't eat out much anymore, but Charlie loves the Diner in Forks. Renee can't cook so I ate out way more in Jacksonville," I commented.

"So who taught you how to cook?" Jake asked curiously. My mind wound back to learning from Grandma Swan. I barely reached the counter so she found me a stepping stool to use as her worn hands kneaded bread dough.

"My Grandma Swan taught me when I was little. I learned a lot after I got tired of eating delivery pizzas," I laughed.

"I bet Charlie is grateful," Jake said as a waitress walked over. She took our drink orders before promptly leaving the table.

"Holidays were always interesting between both houses," I murmured shaking my head.

"When I was little, Charlie and Renee split holidays. The Christmases and Thanksgivings I spent in Forks Charlie relied on take-out from the Diner," I said with a chuckle as the vivid memories of eating mash potatoes and gravy came back.

"Renee?" Jake asked curiously. Before Phil came in the picture, Renee didn't bother with Christmas decorations around the house. Instead, she took me along for last minute gift shopping on Christmas Eve.

"Renee always had grand plans for each holiday, but on Christmas Eve she took me along to go last minute shopping. She told me to close my eyes when she bought my gifts and of course she took advantage of the free wrapping most department stores offered. At the end of our shopping extravaganza she would lay on the couch with a glass of wine and I had hot chocolate as we watched a Hallmark romantic comedy. When Love Actually came out we just watched that every Christmas," I said with a chuckle.

"No kid movies?" Jake asked, raising an eyebrow.

"My mom always said I was a forty year old in a five year old's body," I shrugged.

"I remember when you spent Thanksgivings here, Charlie would always bring you by," Jake said with a grin.

"Which resulted in mudpies," I said as I took a sip of my water.

"You always ended up covered in mud," Jake said with a chuckle.

"Only because you pushed me into it!" I said, reminding him.

"Guilty as charged," Jake said, surrendering. I remembered spending countless hours in Jake's backyard. Rachel and Rebecca were a few years older and primarily kept to themselves.

"Christmases at our house centered on food. We always had a gathering on Christmas Eve. On Christmas morning, we opened presents and later had another dinner with friends again. Billy always insisted on Christmas day we plant a tree to replace the one we cut down," Jake added.

"Is that a Quileute thing?" I asked as I took a bite out of my dinner.

"Nah, it's Billy thing," Jake said with a chuckle.

"It makes perfect sense," I said.

"Rachel, Rebecca, and I cut down the tree and then on Christmas we planted the new tree together," Jake explained.

"Family bonding," I commented.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that. Rebecca always managed to make the bottom of our tree uneven. We made our own ornaments and she always placed them on the left side. Rachel would of course rebel by placing them on the right side. So our tree always had personality," Jake said with a laugh.

I forgot the anxiety and apprehensiveness that pumped through me before the date. Instead, I found myself belly laughing as he told stories about the pack. I noticed that it was almost pitch black outside.

The waitress came by a few moments later.

"Hi, I'm sorry to disturb you, but we are closing in a few minutes," she murmured apologetically.

"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry!" I said, covering my mouth in embarrassment. I let out a slew of apologies to the waitress who accepted them. After the waitress left and Jake settled the tab, he led me outside.

"Bella you don't have to apologize for everything. I let time get away from us," Jake said as he led me to the car. A part of me wanted to deny him, but I knew he wasn't criticizing me.

After Jake and I arrived in my driveway, he stopped the car. He came around to open my door in typical gentlemen fashion. I shut the door as I walked alongside him.

"Bella, I want to tell you something," Jake said as we walked up the rickety steps. I nodded as I stopped on the welcome mat.

"Those gears in your head have been turning all night, and I want you to know that I'm nervous. I don't know what the 'etiquette' is about first dates and what you're supposed to do. I can tell you what I know though," Jake said as he gingerly took both my hands in his.

"I like you a lot, Bells. There's nothing you can do to make me feel otherwise. Give me a chance to earn you. Let me show you how a woman deserves to be treated. Heaven knows I'm not perfect," Jake admitted as his dark eyes burned with intensity.

"I want to treat you right and as you deserve to be treated for the incredible and smart woman you are. Let me," he begged, his voice growing softer. The most incredible part was that I believed him.

I felt safe with him. My lips pulled up into a smile as I reached on my toes to wrap my arms around his neck. My whole body shook with nerves, but my voice rang out clearly.

"Yes," I murmured in his ear. He wrapped his strong arms around me as he lifted me off the ground for a moment.

"Thank you," he said with relief and gratitude. After a moment, he let my feet reach the ground.

"Two more dates, huh?" I asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah, and hopefully many more," Jake said cheekily. My heart hammered in my chest in anticipation as he reached down. Is he going to kiss me? His lips found purchase on my cheek.

I never knew my stomach could do somersaults from a kiss on the cheek. However there was a first time for everything. His arms remained wrapped around me as I closed my eyes feeling completely at ease in his arms.

"Goodnight, sweet girl. I'll see you soon," he murmured in my ear.

"Thank you for tonight," I spoke softly.

"Thank you for giving me the honor," he said with an impish smile. He pressed a searing kiss on my forehead as my eyes drifted closed. After a few moments of silence, he cleared his throat.

"If I don't leave now I won't be able to. Goodnight, beautiful," Jake said as he placed one last kiss on my cheek before he pulled away.

"Goodnight," I said, barely managing to get words out. He waved as he walked down the steps before I opened the front door. I leaned up against it, touching the spot on my cheek where his lips were moments ago.

I took a deep breath as I watched in my peripheral vision his car fade away from view.

* * *

"So how was it?" Angela asked, her enthusiasm radiating through the phone.

"It was great, actually," I admitted. I always imagined first dates as awkward for everyone. However, with Jake as Angela predicted, there wasn't any room for growing pains or awkward. There were moments where boundaries were muddied.

"We both just had ideas about what a first date is supposed to be like and what is appropriate," I added. Mainly, we were able to have an honest conversation about it instead of ignoring the elephant in the room.

"It's a load of bull crap, the whole fairy tale first date business," Angela said, cutting in.

"I just don't know what to do," I admitted, lying back onto my bed.

"What do you mean?" Angela asked.

"I feel like second dates are harder because you have to let them in more," I responded.

"You two already know so much about each other and he's seen you at your worst. You could show up in sweatpants and he wouldn't care," she reminded. I wasn't worried about what I looked like.

I let Jake in on my life-however vulnerability was never my strength. There was an undeniable pull between us which encouraged me to be vulnerable. I let a half-smirk reach across my lips.

Let her in, Bella.

My breath came out in a whoosh before I answered.

"I'm worried that once he sees the not so great parts about me..." I started.

"Oh please, you're thinking he's a Greek God or something. Do you think anyone likes to be seen scars and all? Bella, there are parts of him that he's not so proud of, too. You're not the only one who pulled a bad card," Angela said, interrupting me.

Angela called me out on my crap and I loved her for it.

"That's true, Ang. Thank you for calling me out," I said with a chuckle.

"That's what I'm here for, Bella. In all seriousness, the jitters and nervousness you feel is so normal, but don't let it consume you. If he doesn't take full stock of who you are and treat you like a queen, find someone else who will. You're strong and enough all by yourself."

Her words struck a chord within me as I let out a deep breath. I was strong and more importantly enough.

* * *

I chewed my lip as I stared at the sunflowers soaking up water in the vase. Angela sent me a text earlier letting me know she was coming by the house to drop off a few dresses.

While Jake insisted the dates and details remain a surprise, Angela was privy to the details. She gave advice on what to wear for each date. Angela came around noon to drop off two dresses.

An indigo fit and flare dress along with a crimson fit and flare dress lay on my wrinkled bedspread. Be bold, Bella.

With a huff, I pulled out the red dress. After I put it on, I dashed into the bathroom to apply a light layer of mascara and eyeliner. I peered curiously at the counter top to find a curling iron with a note attached to it.

"Hey girl, try some curls tonight. XOXO, Ang."

I shook my head as I plugged in the curling iron. I managed to curl my hair into ribbon curls cascading down my back. Once I finished, I grabbed a pair of nude colored flats as I walked down the stairs.

My heart pounded in my chest as I heard a knock on the door. I closed my eyes for a moment and let out a deep breath before I reached for the doorknob.

"Bella," Jake said as I opened the door wide. He was handsome in a pair of dark colored jeans and a gray short sleeve shirt. He paused as he studied me, his eyes tracing up and down.

"I'm a lucky man," Jake said with a grin under his breath.

"Hi beautiful girl. It's cheesy as hell, but you took my breath away," Jake said with an impish grin. I let out a giggle as I linked one arm around his neck in an embrace. His warmth radiated through me as I snuggled closer to him. He reached to put a hand tenderly in my hair while the other found purchase on my waist.

"Hi, Jake. You made me blush as red as my dress," I said, teasing him. In response, he smiled hugely as his white teeth shined in the dim glow of the porch light.

"You ready?" Jake asked, holding his arm out for me to hold. I responded in lacing my arm around his.

"Your chariot awaits, m'lady," Jake said with a grin. I let out another laugh as he opened the door for me. He never knew how much those small gestures meant to me. Those doubts and insecurities I discussed on the phone with Angela earlier vanished as I looked at the caring, beautiful man beside me.

* * *

 **What did you think? Isn't Jake the sweetest? And are you ready for date two coming next chapter? Let me know your thoughts by leaving me a review!**

 **Love always,**

 **Princessinblues**


	15. Be With Me

**Sorry for the long wait, y'all. My first year of teaching has been crazy. Anyway, as promised here's the next chapter.**

* * *

 _ **You could be the president, you would get my vote**_  
 _ **You could be the captain of whatever floats your boat**_  
 _ **You could be the singer, girl, you'd hit every note**_  
 _ **Like ooo**_

 _ **Like your daddy told you when you were a little girl**_  
 _ **You could be anything**_  
 _ **Why don't you be with me**_  
 _ **Why don't you**_  
 _ **Why don't**_  
 _ **Your momma brought you up in a women's world**_  
 _ **You could be anything**_  
 _ **Why don't you be with me**_  
 _ **Why don't you**_  
 _ **Why don't you be my drink, be my song, be my bed, be my car, be my photograph**_  
 _ **Be my day, be my night, be my right, be my wrong, be my first and last**_

 _ **A tiger versus you, girl, ain't even a fight**_  
 _ **Next to you the sun can't even call itself a light**_  
 _ **All the girls are jealous 'cause all the guys are like ooo**_  
 _ **Yeah**_

 _ **Like your daddy told you when you were a little girl**_  
 _ **You could be anything**_

 _ **Why don't you be with me**_

 ** _~Be With Me-Old Dominion_**

* * *

After Jake opened the door for me, he raced around the car to get into the driver's side.

"Can I ask where we're going?" I asked, my curiosity peaked. He let out a chuckle as he put the keys into the ignition.

"You really don't like surprises, do you?" Jake asked cheekily.

"It's not that, it's just a little early for dinner, isn't it?" I asked, my eyes peering down to the dashboard clock. My father sometimes had dinner at four, but I certainly didn't.

"I'm game for food anytime, Bells," Jake said with a laugh. I raised my eyebrow at him as I questioned his sanity. He did eat portions fit for five people.

"We're doing something before," he said, observing my expression. What did he have planned? I pursed my lips as I thought of the possibilities. Did he have to run an errand? Did something come up with the pack?

"Is everything alright with your dad?" I asked nervously.

"He's great, he's watching the game with your Dad I think. They're probably two beers in by now," Jake answered. I rolled my eyes at his response.

"The pack?" I asked, trying again.

"My patrol starts later tonight," Jake replied.

"They gave you the night off?" I asked, surprise in my tone.

"Not exactly, I just get the early morning shift," Jake explained. Immediantly guilt washed through me. I couldn't imagine his sleep pattern ever becoming regular. He read my expression quickly.

"Bella, don't you dare feel guilty. I slept the best I ever slept last night," Jake said, meeting my gaze for a moment. A brief smile spread across my lips, I knew Jake hadn't been sleeping regularly in quite some time.

"I'm glad," I murmured with a smile. He pulled into an old dance hall with a porch.

"Jake?" I said, my words floating in the air.

"When was the last time you went dancing?" Jake asked with an impish grin. My eyes grew wide as saucers as his word registered.

"Jake, I'm the clumsiest person ever. I trip while walking on flat surfaces and you trust me to dance?" I asked, my voice going up octave in shock. Jake's deep brown eyes met mine as he shook his head.

"Bella, trust me. I won't let you get hurt," Jake assured me.

"The last time I danced was at prom with a bum leg!" I said, my cheeks turning a million shades of red. Even then, I swayed back and forth.

"You'll be even better now with both legs healthy," he grinned. I swatted him playfully with my hand, still deciding if I was furious with him or excited. Jake came around to my side and helped me out.

"Don't let one bad dancing experience ruin it," Jake said compassionately.

"Last time I remember you were tall and lanky and almost as uncoordinated as me," I said.

"Ouch, Bella," he said, with his hand over his heart like he was wounded.

"I think my coordination improved greatly. Has yours?" Jake asked, teasingly. As we reached the steps I threaded my fingers together in nervousness.

"When was the last time you tried something new?" Jake asked, nearly a whisper as we reached the door. I bit the inside of my cheek as I traced back in my head.

"Last night," I said lifting my eyebrow in challenge. He threw me a questioning look, urging me to explain.

"I haven't gone on a date in over a year or worn green," I answered his unspoken question.

"Okay, fair enough," Jake said as he twirled me around in a circle.

"Where did you learn to dance?" I asked, honestly with his skill. The last time I danced with him, he was gangly and awkward. I was nearly positive confidence played a key role in his skill.

Jacob was self-assured while humble, a combination rarely found in this world.

"Billy, actually," Jake said, a smile tugging on his lips. Before Billy's accident he was a real outdoorsmen. However, I was surprised Billy was also a talented dancer.

"Really?" I asked, peering up at him. His deep eyes beamed down at mine as he nodded his head.

"Before his accident, he used to take Mom here every Friday; it was their date night," Jake explained. My lips tugged down for a moment as my expression reflected sympathy.

"Dancing was one of mom's favorite things to do so Dad learned," he murmured.

"So they taught you how to dance," I said, surmising.

"Yeah, Mom was a salsa dancer and Dad's favorite was ballroom dancing," Jake replied, pulling me closer as we swayed.

"I hate to break it to you, Jake, but dancing isn't my forte."

"Have you ever learned?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Does dancing on Charlie's feet count?" I asked with a giggle.

"You can't shoot yourself down when you haven't tried it before," Jake reminded. In his gaze I could tell we weren't just talking about dancing anymore. His eyes silently pleaded to give him a chance.

My heart tugged in my chest as I laid my head on his warm chest to hide my expression from him. I couldn't deny the pull between us, or the way I felt so safe in his arms.

There was still a part of me afraid to open my heart completely to him. He wasn't the boy in my past, he was the man standing in front of me offering himself completely to me.

I could see now that every time I was with him, he extended the same silent offer.

For so many months, I denied it.

"Bella?" Jake asked softly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I blinked before I turned my gaze to his.

"Where did you go?" He asked compassionately, his warm breath fanning my face. I moved my hand to grasp his soft shirt in my fingers. I didn't need a translation, I knew he asked where my head went.

My lips pressed together as I pondered what to say next.

"I don't want to mess this up," I admitted softly. He took my chin gingerly in his large hand.

"Are you going to let fear boss you around?" Jake asked, his volume soft but his words rang out clear. I looked down at my feet for a moment, knowing the truth in his words.

He took my silence for a moment before he spoke.

"Just dance with me, Bella. Keep your eyes on me, I won't let you fall," Jake promised, his passionate gaze meeting mine.

 _I think I already am._

I took his advice as he led me to a salsa, the music speeding up behind us. With bravery, I met his unwavering gaze as I let him guide me. He didn't force me to do anything, instead each move was an invitation.

In minutes, a smile spread across my lips as we moved to the beat of the music. Jake had me giggling as he twirled me around. Jake wore his impish grin as I felt like I was flying as he lifted me up in his arms.

Suddenly, there on the dance floor I realized I didn't have to change who I was for him. He never complained when I stepped on his toes half a million times as we danced.

Even though my hair was a tangled mess of curls after the numerous twirls he didn't seem to notice. As we glided around the dance floor, I never felt more free. Time seemed to stand still for a while as we became the last ones on the dance floor.

"You hungry?" Jake asked, slowing us down to swaying again.

"Famished," I said with a smile as blush heated my cheeks. Our bodies came to a stop as he walked beside me to the door. Even in his manneurisms and his body language he was a gentleman.

He walked beside me, not in front of me like he wanted to be a partner and not a life source. He put his hand on the small of my back to guide me, not push me. Every move he made came with a non-verbal request.

"It's later than I thought, are you okay with a drive-in?" Jake asked as he opened the door for me.

"Like movie?" I asked, my eyebrows raising in question.

"No, like a drive-in diner," Jake said with a chuckle.

"They still have those?" I asked, astonished.

"Yeah," Jake said with a grin.

"It's like a Sonic, but family owned," he added, in attempt to clarify further. He opened the car door for me without skipping a beat. After I managed to slide in the car, he started the engine.

"I've never been dancing like that," I murmured, a smile playing on my lips.

"Did you like it?" Jake asked, anxiousness in his tone. I could see the worry lines etched into his face as he awaited my answer; he didn't have to worry about my answer. Although I was initially reluctant, dancing with him was lovely.

Even though he did most of the work, I never felt more coordinated in my life.

"Yes, I really liked it," I said, blush creeping into my cheeks.

"Thank you for taking me tonight, I know I gave you grief about it at first," I added, meeting his gaze. Finally, the impish smile I loved spread across his lips in relief.

"I'm glad you liked it. I had a blast dancing with you," Jake admitted as we reached the drive-in diner.

"How do you feel about milkshakes with dinner?" He asked curiously as he found the line easily.

"I love them. When I was little, Charlie used to take me out to get milkshakes," I said as I stared at the menu.

"Charlie has a serious sweet tooth," Jake commented.

"Yeah, and I got it honestly," I said with a giggle. After we ordered, the sun began to set behind the clouds. We watched the sunset, transfixed on the warm amber sky.

"I know this place isn't a five star restaurant..." Jake began. He didn't have to continue, I already knew he was going to apologize. I wasn't a five star resturant person anyway, I liked simple.

"Stop, Jake," I said, interrupting him. He looked at me, surprised at my outburst.

"I'm not a fancy girl, Jake. I like simple, and I love milkshakes; I'm surprised you haven't already inhaled yours," I said, teasingly. After a moment of realization, his warm eyes flickered to me before he sipped his milkshake through the straw.

"What flavor did you get again, Bells?" He asked curiously.

"You just want to eat mine, pig," I said as I sipped mine.

"Bella..."

"Okay I got cookies and cream," I sighed, giving in. His eyes remained glued to my cup as I continued to sip.

"Just take a sip, I know you're going to do it," I muttered, rolling my eyes. I handed him over the cup as he took a sip through the straw.

"Eh, mine is still better," he said after he took a taste.

"I'll be the judge of that!" I said as I stole his cup from him. He laughed as he realized I did it. His was chocolate chip cheesecake, which was good as much as I didn't like to admit it.

Dark eyes met mine as he realized our proximity to each other. The tension between us intensified as I studied the brown streaks in his eyes. As I began to shake out of my stupor, he pulled away.

My heart pounded in my chest as my gaze met his. For a moment I thought he was going to kiss me as his jaw tightened before he pulled away slowly. Was there going to be awkard silence? Would we sit in silence the rest of the date?

"Bella, there are moments when I act less than gentlemanly," Jake admitted as he shook his head. My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion.

"Jake, you're always a gentleman," I argued.

"It takes every ounce of self control not to kiss you right now. Believe me, I want to kiss you. But, in the middle of an old drivethrough is not what you deserve," Jake said as he pursed his lips.

"Jake..." I started to reprimand him.

"Bells, you're a once in a lifetime girl," he said as he leaned to kiss my cheek. My cheeks flamed where his lips made contact. At his words, my heart beat staccatto in my chest. I waited expectantly for his next move.

"And I'm not gonna let myself mess this up," he sighed as he pulled away. He couldn't mess up what I already felt and knew. For the first time in my life, I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be. My eyes widened as I realized that Jake didn't want to fix me.

He never pushed out of me the past. His eyes were always on the future and he wanted me for me. There was a frightening unspoken in the back of my mind that he saw me as a pity project.

Jake was a mechanic, he loved fixing things. I never wanted to be fixed like a motorcycle he worked all day on.

He wasn't my superman. I wasn't Lois Lane.

He was steady and dependable, and I wasn't his kryptonite. I was his equal, his Wonder Woman.

"Bells," he gently eased me out of my thoughts.

"Do you wanna talk?" Jake asked, his eyes full of concern. I blinked as I brought myself back to the present.

"Jake, I need to tell you something," I said, playing with my fingers in my lap.

"I've been holding you at arms length because there was this doubt in the back of my mind...I know Billy and Charlie must have talked about me and my downward spiral, and I was always worried you saw me like one of your bikes," I admitted, biting my lip.

"Bella, I can promise you I don't see you like one of my bikes," Jake said with a chuckle.

"You're a mechanic, Jake. You love fixing things and I thought in the back of my mind that I was a project to you. That you were trying to fix me," I said, meeting his gaze. He opened his mouth to respond.

"I see now that you're not. You want me for me," I said, before he could reply. Jake's deep ember eyes met mine as an impish grin spread across his face. His warm hand found purchase on my cheek as he slid closer.

He placed both his hands on the sides of my cheek so I could meet his gaze.

"You were never a project. Old men gossip, but I didn't care. I knew the girl I saw that night at prom, who was only a shell of who you could be. He was holding you back even then, Bella. And I never wanna do that, sweetheart. I just wanna be the man next to you while you change the world, baby girl." Jake murmured as tears twinkled in my eyes.

At his words, my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. Tears sprouted as I blinked to stop them from falling.

"Jake..." I began, slightly chocked up.

"Bella, I'm here. I'll wait as long as you need me to," he said, his dark eyes meeting mine. I knew someday soon he wouldn't have to wait much longer.

* * *

Jake kept one hand on the steering wheel while the other held my hand in his. There wasn't any awkwardness as we drove in silence. I leaned my head against the head rest as I rested one hand in my lap.

"Did all that dancing wear you out?" Jake asked, breaking the comfortable silence.

"Definitely, but it was worth it. I've never danced like that before," I murmured. It was truly a miracle that I didn't end up falling flat on my face. Of course, Jake was the prime reason I didn't end up in the emergency room.

"I'm glad you liked it," Jake said, squeezing my hand gently. I smiled as my unoccupied hand reached down to release my feet from my flats.

"Do your feet hurt?" He asked as he observed my shoeless feet.

"A little," I admitted.

"Are you okay? Do you need band aids or anything? I can stop by Sue's..." Jake started, listing off the possibilities.

"Jake, I'm fine," I said with a laugh. He was ridiculous; my feet hurt and he made it sound like I broke my foot.

"I didn't mean to cause you pain," Jake said with a frown.

"Now you're being ridiculous. I'm fine, it means I was having a blast with you. Blame the shoes," I responded. As we reached my driveway, Jake pulled in slowly. I collected my shoes, sliding them on my feet. Jake came around to open my door for me.

I landed unsteadily on my feet and Jake quickly secured his arm around my waist. I walked beside him as my feet protested. Underneath the porch light, Jake stared at me for a moment.

"Thank you for tonight," he murmured as he edged closer to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck to close the distance between us.

"Thank you, I had so much fun," I said with a grin. My feet started to burn as I stood. As I winced for a moment, Jake immediantly noticed.

"Come on, Cinderella," Jake said as he swept me into his arms. Charlie was sitting in the kitchen as we strode in.

"Your feet hurt, and you're the worst liar," he explained.

"Jake..." I said, as I met his gaze.

"Please let me help, Bells," Jake asked. _Stupid dark puppy eyes._

"Fine," I muttered in defeat as I unlocked the door. Charlie was sitting in the kitchen reading the newspaper as we came in. He got up quickly, clearly worried I was hurt.

"Is she hurt?" He asked worriedly.

"We went dancing tonight and her feet hurt," Jake answered. At Jake's words, Charlie visibly relaxed. '

"You took her dancing? She's in and out of the ER, Jake," Charlie reminded him. Jake let out a chuckle.

"She did great, Charlie," Jake assured him.

"Did you have fun, Bells?" Charlie asked, his eyes on me.

"I did, I've never danced like that before," I said with a smile.

"I'm glad you two had fun," he said with a half smile.

"Is it okay if I bring her up to her bedroom? I'll leave right after," Jake asked.

"Ask her," Charlie said, gesturing to me.

"Bells?"

"Yes, that's fine," I assured him. I let out a deep breath as I relaxed in his arms. I snuggled closer to his chest as he walked us up the staircase. He opened my bedroom door before he laid me on my bed.

"Goodnight, sweet girl," he murmured as he kissed my forehead.

"Thank you," I murmured, embracing him.

"Text me when you get home," I reminded him.

"I will," he promised. He held me closer to him for a moment before he released me. As he reached my door, I called out to him.

"Jake?" I called. He turned around at my voice.

"You won't have to wait much longer," I promised him. His answering smile was brightened the dark room as he closed the door halfway on his way out.

"So have you made up your mind about him?" Renee asked, drawing me back from my thoughts.

"Hmm," I murmured, sticking my lip between my teeth. There was a part of me that wanted to deny it; reject that these feelings I initially called flukes only increased as time went on.

"It's okay to fall in love again, baby," Renee said softly. As much as she was child-like in many aspects, she was also very perceptive. Renee was with me during the dark months.

My throat went dry as I realized the weight of her words. I took a deep breath as I shut my eyes. It wasn't about him anymore, it was about my fear of getting hurt. My fear of putting myself out there again.

"I'm just..." I said, twiddling my free hand.

"Scared?" Renee said, finishing my thought for me.

"A little," I admitted, pressing the phone closer to my ear.

"Falling in love is scary business, Bella. But, so is sky-diving. So is being a mother. Baby, I wish I could tell you that life isn't scary that it's as simple as a chess board but it's not. It's messy, and it's frustrating. It's terrifying and not fair," Renee said soothingly.

"But, there are moments, Bella. When the stars seem to align and everything falls into place. You can't be fearless and hide your beautiful loving heart away forever, baby. It was only a matter of time before someone would fall for you. Someone would love you and see the incredible light you are.

"And now, it's your choice to let them in. I'm glad it's Jake, Bella. I knew the minute he came home with you on Spring break how in love with you he was. He played baseball with Phil and kept an eye on you. He didn't hover around you like you needed saving. He stood beside you and woke up early just to make you coffee in the morning. When I confronted him about it, he wasn't ashamed about it." Renee said as I covered my mouth with surprise.

She spoke to Jake? She had the audacity to ask him? Jake never said anything about that conversation. I must have overslept that morning and the conversation concluded before I woke up.

"Mom, what did you ask him?" I asked, my voice shooting up a few octaves.

"I asked him if he was in love with you," Renee said, nonchalantly. Her words hung in the air for a few moments as I bit my lip. Jacob never said the words explicitly, but his actions shouted them every day.

"And he said yes," I murmured.

"Without skipping a beat," Renee added.

"Mom, it's not that simple. What if we lose our friendship?" I asked.

"It doesn't have to be complicated, baby. Just, breathe and tell that nagging voice in your voice to shut the hell up," she answered. I chuckled at her answer.

"Mom..."

"Bella, there are people on this planet that won't leave you. But, you have to give them the chance to show you first," Renee interrupted. Lena's words on the beach two years ago echoed in my head.

 _You have to let them love you._

There was little doubt in my mind that I loved Jake. He was constant, like the waves kissing the sand on La Push Beach. He was steady as the drums in the song we danced to on that dance hall.

He was faithful, he stood up for me so many times before.

"Okay," I said shakily, breaking the silence.

* * *

"So how was it? Was he a good dancer?" Angela asked as she laid on my bed. I laughed as I sat beside her.

"He was, it's the same place he took his father took his mother," I admitted, half smiling. I couldn't imagine the grief and pain Jake went through due to the loss of his mother. Billy's accident uprooted their whole family.

"That's beautiful," Angela said, a sad smile spreading across her face. Sometimes I forgot how perceptive Angela is; she's able to read people easily.

"I never danced like that before," I admitted, blush heating my cheeks.

"What type of dancing was it?" Angela asked, her eyes bubbling with curiosity.

"It was ballroom dancing, the last time I danced with Jake he was lanky and awkward. This time, he was so sure of himself and dancing with him was like..." I said, trailing off. I remembered the dull lights beaming down on us and the way his deep eyes reflected back into mine.

"Home," Angela said, filling in the silence.

"Yeah," I chuckled.

"Bella, do you want to be with him?" Angela asked bluntly. A gust of air came out of my mouth as I could feel my stomach flip.

"It's okay to be scared, you know. I was scared too," she admitted, grabbing my hand to hold in hers. I knit my lips into a neat line as I closed my eyes for a moment.

"You don't have to be fearless all the time," Angela added, sensing my inner turmoil. For many months I put on a face every morning to get through that day; I never wanted to excel I wanted to survive.

"But if you never try, you'll hate yourself later. It's your call though and whatever you decide I'll back you up," she said, promising me. I nodded at her encouragement with a small smile spreading across my lips. I peered at the outfit choices Angela laid out on the bed earlier.

"We're kinda sitting on all your hard work," I said with a laugh.

"Oh crap, you're right. Come on," she said, grabbing my hand to bring me to a standing position. My eyes traced to the cobalt tee-shirt material dress. My fingers reached to play with the soft fabric for a moment.

"Go try it on, if you don't like that color I have the same dress in red and purple," Angela said, assuring me. She threw me a knowing look; I explained to her months earlier why I hesitated to wear blue.

I grabbed the dress in my hand before I went into the bathroom. After I managed to pull the dress over my head I studied myself in the mirror. Slowly, a smile crept across my lips as I looked at the girl in the mirror.

I walked out to my bedroom and found Angela sitting on the bed.

"Oh Bella, you look beautiful," Angela said, her voice bubbling with excitement. I studied myself in the mirror.

"Blue is my color," I said, my words slightly shaky. I met Angela's gaze as she leapt up from her spot to envelope me in a hug; she realized the weight of my words.

* * *

Winding the last piece of hair around the curling iron I took a deep breath. My unoccupied hand played with the hem of the cobalt dress. With a sigh, I released the piece of hair from the barrel.

I studied the woman in the mirror staring back at me. Her cheeks looked flushed, without any blush. Brown eyes flecked with green stared back at me. My phone buzzed loudly and I saw 'Angela' flash across the screen.

 _ **To: Bella Swan**_

 _ **From: Angela Weber**_

 _ **Have fun tonight and be brave. XOXOXO.**_

I smiled brightly before I walked to open the bathroom door. My eyes first landed on the pair of black flats in the corner, but I knew they weren't me. I found my black pair of Converse next to my bed and put those on instead.

Charlie was on patrol again at work. Somehow, I heard a faint knock at the door. Immediantly, my stomach began to flutter. I grabbed my phone and my wallet before sprinting down the stairs.

Miraculously, I managed to avoid falling on my face as I opened the front door.

"Hi Bells," Jake said, grinning impishly. He looked handsome as always, in a pair of dark jeans and a blue short sleeve shirt. Before I responded, I reached my arms around his neck to envelope him in a hug.

At first, he froze not expecting my display of affection. After a moment, I felt his warm arms wind around me.

"Hi Jake," I whisper in his ear as he leans down.

He releases me, but maintains a gentle grip on my hands.

"You look gorgeous," he says as his eyes trace from my head to my converses. He walks alongside me as we reach his car.

"Where are we going this time?" I ask him as I hop into the passenger side. Jake chuckled as he put the key into the ignition.

"Can you smell what's in the back seat?" Jake asked with a chuckle. My eyebrows furrowed as I sniffed. Then, I smelled the fried chicken and mashed potatoes; this man knew the way to my heart.

I loved mash potatoes and fried chicken-it reminded me of when I was little and going to the diner with Charlie. Renee swayed me towards healthy foods during my time in Jacksonville with her kale.

However, I had a deep seeded love to comfort food.

"Jake, how did you know?" I asked, a smile spreading across my face.

"Emily told me," he responded cheekily. I must have slipped that I loved comfort food when I was with her.

"Did you make it?" I asked as he began to drive on Fork's main road.

"I wish I could say I did, but I'd probably end up burning the house down," Jake said with a laugh. There was some truth to that; Jake wasn't the best cook. I loved his gesture, but he burned even eggs.

"The diner?" I suggested.

"Yes ma'am," Jake said, nodding his head. I laughed as I met Jake's gaze.

"Good choice," I said, praising him.

"I know it's not the most romantic...getting fried chicken I mean," Jake said, fumbling with his words. Rarely I saw Jake flustered, but I saw his tan cheeks heat up with a tinge of pink.

"Shut up, I told you. I'm simple, Jake. You don't need to get a five star dinner to wow me," I reminded him as he parked. He came around to help me out of the passenger seat. I felt the wind cut my cheeks and blow my hair as I smelled the sea air.

"Hold on," Jake instructed as he opened the trunk of his car. He came around with a patterned blanket.

"Is it a picnic?" I asked, hopefully.

"Ding ding, you got it," Jake said, as he led me onto the beach. Seconds later he opened the blanket to set it on the sand beneath us.

"I love picnics, and the view is incredible," I murmured, looking onto the rough waves. Jake chuckled as I felt his gaze on me.

"I agree," Jake said, and my cheeks heated up in response. His gaze never left my face as he opened the food in the tin foil.

"This is perfect, Jake," I murmured, leaning back on my elbows. Out of my peripheral vision I saw him assemble paper plates in front of us along with plastic silver ware.

"I wasn't sure what you wanted to drink so I brought waters," Jake said, tossing me a plastic water bottle.

"Water is great," I assured him as I screwed the cap off.

"Did you get off patrol tonight?" I asked curiously, taking a sip.

"Yeah, I got the first half off," Jake answered before he took a bite of of his chicken. I scooped some mash potatoes to put on my plate.

"What time does your shift start?" I asked before I took a bite of mash potatoes.

"Around two," Jake replied. He must have saw my horrified expression as he took my hand gently in his.

"It's early, but mornings aren't so bad anymore," he promised me. Mornings became more tolerable after I began painting. However, willingly choosing to defend people against scary vampires seemed daunting.

I didn't like that Jake was put in harms way almost every night. If he got hurt...

"Bells, it's boring most of the time. I end up running around chasing Embry half the time," Jake said, drawing me out of my thoughts. I could see that, Embry and Quil were pretty juvenile sometimes.

"Jake, aren't you a mechanic now?" I asked, I knew he graduated from High School last spring.

"Yeah, I'm working on the Res. You got a car problem?" Jake asked.

"No, but I know where to go now," I said with a grin.

"Quil and I are thinking about renting a place on the Rez," he commented.

"You're moving out of Billy's?" I asked, surprised.

"I'll be close by to help him out. I feel bad waking him up whenever I come back from patrol," Jake said with a grimace.

"That's understandable, I'm sure the house will be quiet without you," I said teasingly.

"What makes you say that?" Jake asked playfully.

"Your footsteps sound like Bigfoot sometimes," I replied with a giggle.

"Big foot? I do transform into a huge wolf so I guess that makes sense," Jake laughed. I rolled my eyes as I swatted his arm. We finished our dinners while talking about my major and Angela's meddling.

Before we knew it, the cloudy overcast sky turned into night. The night sky lit up with a tapestry of stars.

"Wow," I murmured as I stared at the reflection of the moon against the water.

"Yeah, it's pretty incredible," Jake agreed. I laid back against the blanket and seconds later I felt Jake lay back beside me. He was close enough to feel his warmth radiate against my side.

I must have shivered because the next moment I felt Jake envelope me into his arms. I rested my head against his chest and pressed my nose against his shirt. I could feel his heart hammer underneath his shirt. He smelled like woods and campfire.

Every once in a while, Jake would circle one of my curls around his fingers. I felt so at peace in his arms as I heard the crickets sing a lullaby. In his arms, I felt safe.

"Bells," Jake whispered, and I blinked my eyes open. My cheeks heated up as I realized I must have fallen asleep.

"Oh jeez Jake, I'm sorry!" I apologized, covering my mouth in embarassment.

"Hey, don't apologize. You're cute when you sleep," Jake assured me.

"Oh man did I drool on you?" I asked, my eyes growing wide.

"No, you silly woman. Come here," Jake said, standing up. I took his hand as he helped me get up. He walked us to the banks before he took my two hands in his.

"Bella," Jake started and I already knew where this conversation was headed. He wanted to define the relationship and I knew he wasn't going to rush me. He thought I was going to ask for more time, or want to just be friends.

"Jake, I told you I wouldn't keep you waiting for much longer," I said, my heart hammering in my chest.

"You've been incredible to me. You've accepted me and been there so many times for me. You've held my hair back when I was sick and dealt with me on my bad nights. You brought me coffee during finals. For so long, Jake, I believed I would never feel that way again," I said, my voice soft. He looked expectantly at me, urging me to continue.

"And I was right. I'll never feel that way again," I murmured and Jake's face fell.

"Because the way I feel now is so different. Jake, I tried to fight what I was feeling since I met you. I'm in love with you, Jake. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out," I said, studying his deep soulful eyes.

He smiled impishly as he lifted me into the air for a moment. I giggled as he lowered me down.

"Bella, there's something you should know," Jake said anxiously. I furrowed my eyebrows together in confusion at his words.

"I haven't told you this because I wanted you to have a choice. I wanted you choose to love me," Jake explained, kissing my hand in his.

"Okay, I don't see how this changes anything," I said with a nervous chuckle.

"I'm a werewolf and there's legends that say werewolves imprint," Jake said, steadying me.

"What's imprinting?" I asked softly.

"Nobody believed it happened until Sam and Emily. It's how werewolves find their soulmates. It's rare, and it doesn't happen to everyone," he said. Soulmates. There was a nagging feeling that maybe he found someone else.

 _"It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like… gravity moves… suddenly. It's not the earth holding you here anymore, she does… You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend."_ Jake continued as I remained remained still.

"I imprinted, Bella," Jake said and before he could continue tears began to form in my eyes. Was it another girl? My head was spinning at the possibilities.

"Jake..." I murmured my mouth growing dry.

"Oh who? A girl you met on the reservation? Did you imprint on her before or after these three dates? I was vulnerable with you, Jake. Dammit, I left my heart out there on the line. Do you know how much I didn't want to tell you? I didn't want to get hurt again, Jake!" I said, my eyes filling with tears. If he couldn't love me, I'd survive.

I could get over the heartbreak. But allowing someone to see the vulnerable parts of me would take time. I began to walk away as angry tears began to fall down my face.

"Bella!" Jake called as I shuffled my feet forward in the sand.

"Don't, Jake, you've said enough," I muttered. He grabbed my arm gently as he once again stood in front of me.

"I imprinted on you, silly woman," Jake said, his pained gaze meeting mine. _Me?_ Did that mean he was forced to love me? Part of me was relieved; relieved that he returned my feelings.

"When?" I asked, the air coming out of my lungs.

"In the parking lot of your dorm. I saw you standing there trying to unload a box that was bigger than you and I just knew. Suddenly, gravity moved. All I could see was you, everything else just looked black and white around me. You screamed at me in color.

"From that day, I became what you needed me to be. I fell in love with you that day you were on the beach. You had paint all over you, but you looked so at peace. And each day I've spent with you, I fall in love with you all over," Jake said passionately. The angry tears that harbored behind my eyes began to dry up.

My heart thudded in my chest as I pursed my lips together to hold the tears at bay.

"I love you, Bella. I'm so in love with you. But now it's up to you. I wanted you to have a choice, and I know you're scared. I know the last guy did a number on you, but Bella I'm not him. I'm not going to break your heart and I give you permission to hit me with a socket wrench if I do," Jake said, pushing a wayward hair behind my ear.

I let out a mixture between a chuckle and sob. Jacob was right, he wasn't Edward. Jake loved me in the truest form, he gave himself to me. He's sacraficed for me so many times, and he's in front of me with his heart in his hands.

"Are you forced to love me?" I asked. I always wanted him to have a choice. Was this all just magic?

"No, Bella. I choose to love you, but it's so easy to. You don't even have to try, today you shut me up when I was so worried this date wasn't so romantic. I know you could do so much better than me, but if you give me your heart I promise to treasure it. I want to walk beside you and be your man," Jake said, squeezing my hand in his.

My heart ached at his words.

"Is this all just magic? Would you have fallen in love with me without the 'imprint?'" I asked, fear clouding my voice.

"I've been in love with you since we made mud pies in Billy's driveway. When I saw you at prom and when we walked on the beach earlier that year I had a huge crush on you. But this year, regardless of the imprinting business I fell in love with you. I fell in love with the woman you are, Bella. From your paint stained hands down to your converses," Jake admitted.

My head swirled with the amount of information he unloaded on me.

"I can be whatever you want to be. I can be your best friend if you need me to. It's your call, Bells," Jake said, assuring me.

"How is that fair? You spent months loving me and I didn't even know! How fair is it to be completely in love with someone while they're too chicken to be anything more?" I asked him, frustration in my tone.

"You didn't even get a choice," I muttered, a tear falling down my face.

"Bella, I did. I can be whatever you need me to be," Jake assured me. How was this fair? Jake could never find someone else? Jake could never love someone else? I didn't want to sentence Jake.

Was this holding him back?

"I need time, Jake. Can you take me to my house?" I asked, finally able to form words. I saw pain flicker on his face and I hated myself for being the cause of it.

"Of course," Jake murmured, trying to mask his pain. We drove back to my house in silence as I held back the tears.

"Call me when you're ready," Jake said as he walked me to the door. My tear-stained eyes met his.

"I'm sorry," I blubbered.

"It's okay, sweet girl. I'll be here to listen when you're ready," Jake assured me, wiping my tears away. He pressed a searing kiss on my forehead before I opened the front door. Jake's headlights reflected against the window pane.

I finally let the tears fall from my eyes as I shakily took my cell phone out of my pocket. My fingers shook as I scrolled through my contact list before I clicked on the person I needed to talk to.

"Emily..." I began as she picked up.

* * *

 **I know another cliff hanger, but it finally happened! I used some lines from page 122 of _Eclipse._ **

**I know...I'm a little pissed at Bella too. But I get it being dumped with that much information is tough! She just needs time. Anyway, leave me a review to let me know what you thought.**

 **Jake is the sweetest.**

 **Emily will bring some light and guide Bella.**

 **I'll update in about a month hopefully. (But don't worry, I know where this story is going).**

 **Lots of love,**

 **Princessinblues**


	16. Ready to Love Again

**As promised (although a little late) the next chapter. I'm finally on break and have some extra time on my hands. For all of you who celebrate Christmas, Merry almost Christmas! I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season.**

 **I know I'm trying to clean up the house before my MIL (mother-in-law) comes and visits me before I head out to see my family. I just sent out my husband's care package two weeks ago and I'm hoping he gets it on time! No husband this holiday, but he'll come home soon.**

 **Anyway, here's the next chapter. Let me know what you think by leaving a review!**

* * *

 _ **Seems like I was walking in the wrong direction**_  
 _ **I barely recognize my own reflection, no**_  
 _ **Scared of love but scared of life alone**_

 _ **Seems I've been playing on the safe side baby**_  
 _ **Building walls around my heart to save me, oh**_  
 _ **But it's time for me to let it go**_

 _ **Yeah, I'm ready to feel now**_  
 _ **No longer am I afraid of the fall down**_  
 _ **It must be time to move on now**_  
 _ **Without the fear of how it might end**_  
 _ **I guess I'm ready to love again**_

 _ **Just when we think that love will never find you**_  
 _ **You runaway but still it's right behind you, oh**_  
 _ **It's just something that you can't control**_

 _ **Yeah, I'm ready to feel now**_  
 _ **No longer am I afraid of the fall down**_  
 _ **It must be time to move on now**_  
 _ **Without the fear of how it might end**_  
 _ **I guess I'm ready to love again**_

 _ **So come and find me**_  
 _ **I'll be waiting up for you**_  
 _ **I'll be holding out for you tonight**_

 _ **~Ready to Love Again-Lady Antebellum**_

* * *

"Bella, it's good to hear from you! How are you?" Emily asked, her bright voice coming through the phone. I wiped up stray tears from my cheeks.

"I'm not the greatest. I'm sorry to be calling so late. How are you?" I asked with a chuckle, my voice rough from crying.

"Don't apologize, I'm good. What's wrong, Bella?" Emily asked compassionately. I leaned my back against the wall as I slid to the ground.

"Jake told me some stuff and I thought you were a good person to talk to about it," I murmured, scratching the back of my neck in uneasiness.

"What did he tell you?" Emily asked and I let out a sigh.

"He told me about imprinting...He told me Sam imprinted on you," I admitted, biting my lip. I heard a gust of air come out of Emily's lungs.

"He told you, didn't he?" Emily asked with a sigh.

"You knew?" I asked, surprise coloring my tone.

"There's not many secrets in the pack. Do you want to come over and talk? Sam's out on patrol and won't be back until morning so it'll be just us," Emily suggested. I found my car keys on the counter as I headed to the door.

"Umm, sure. Can you text me your address?" I asked, reaching for the door knob.

"Of course, see you soon!" Emily said. Then, I realized I was still in what I wore earlier. I sprinted up the stairs to my bedroom to find a pair of yoga pants and a loose tee shirt. I washed off the remainder of the make up on my face before running down the stairs a second time.

I ran out to my car before putting the key in the ignition. I wiped the tears away as I backed up. I turned on my GPS as I turned onto Fork's main road. Jake was so calm and collected, which was maybe the most infuriating part about all of us.

He didn't ask for this; he didn't sign up to be a werewolf. Now, on top of all that responsibility he doesn't get to choose who he falls in love with. Jake was the most patient and compassionate man I've ever met.

Shouldn't the universe cut him some slack? I pulled up to Emily's cabin and parked on the gravel driveway. After I cut off the engine, I took a moment to collect myself. I walked up to Emily's porch before I poised my hand to knock.

Before I could deliver the knock, Emily opened the door wide.

"I saw your headlights, come on in," Emily said, ushering me in. She led me to the kitchen before she grabbed a mug filled with warm tea and handed it to me.

"Here, drink this," she instructed before she gestured to the kitchen table. I took a sip of the warm green tea as I sat down in the green wooden chair.

"What's going on in your head right now?" Emily asked as she took a seat beside me.

"How are you okay with all of this?" I asked, staring at the liquid in my mug.

"I'm not, it's kinda like being told all those fairytales are real. Imprinting isn't a fairytale, but I don't regret the sacrafices Sam and I both made," Emily answered as she took a sip of her tea.

"What do you mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's pretty obvious, Bella. My face wasn't always this way," Emily said, her lips turning downward. Jacob never told me the details of her accident. I hardly noticed the scarred side of her face anymore.

"When Sam and I first met, Sam was dating Leah. He tried to reject the imprint at first. Leah was heartbroken, and didn't speak to me for months afterward. I came to visit her three years ago, and it happened. When he told me the truth, he lost control and phased," she explained.

I gasped in horror as I realized Sam was the one who hurt her.

"Sam was by my side after that happened. I didn't want to be in love with him because of Leah. I felt like I was ruining their lives. But slowly, I fell in love with Sam. It took months, but I knew it was inevitable," Emily continued.

"I forgave him, Bella. I finished college and came back to live in La Push. Leah and I are still aren't on great terms, but with time I think we will be," she said, her mouth turning upwards to a smile.

"Bella, Sam and I both made sacrafices. Our love story is far from conventional, but I don't regret a moment of it. Sometimes fate gives us a good kick on the butt to show us where we belong. I just wish Leah didn't have to get hurt," Emily admitted.

"I'm sorry to hear about you and Leah," I murmured as I met her gaze.

"It's okay, we'll never be as close as we were, but with time we can salvage a relationship," she said, with hope.

"Is there any other imprints?" I asked curiously.

"Kim and Jared," Emily answered.

"Kim was the girl who always had a huge crush on Jared. She passed him a pencil one day, and it happened. She felt like her dreams were coming true when he told her. My point is that imprinting impacts everyone differently. No two couples are the same," she added.

She was right, even though imprinting drove each couple together, everyone had their own story. Maybe Jake and I could have ours too.

"Is Jake forced to love me?" I asked, meeting her deep chocolate colored eyes. Emily smiled a tight lipped smile as she reached to hold my hand in hers.

"No, he's not. It's not like love-at-first sight," Emily assured me as she squeezed my hand.

"It's more like fate kicking your butt so you know this person is meant for you. Soulmates happen in every day instances, I believe. Taha Aki imprinted on one of the women in the tribe. He defended her and she sacrificed her life to be with him," she said as she gripped her mug in her left hand.

"My parents were soulmates. Yes, this kind of love doesn't happen naturally. But in all love stories, there's an element of magic," Emily said as she met my gaze. My lips knit into a frown as I realized my parents broken love story.

I didn't have a good model of love when I was little. My father's love for my mother was one sided. Renee practically threw him out like old take-out to write her own happy ending.

"Jake loves you. He was excited to come and help you that day and afterward I've never seen him so happy. The magic didn't make him that way, Bella. You made him happy and you make him happy.

"Jake is finally the man we all knew he could be. He's a leader now because he met you. You taught him how to lead and how to be compassionate. When he brought you over for dinner the first time, I saw the way he looked at you.

"He looks at you like you are the _Mona Lisa_. You are the answer to every prayer he's ever had. He would do anything for you and he thinks you're the most brillant person he knows. He doesn't shut up about you. Every time he came over while you were away at school, he'd talk about your newest accomplishment," Emily said, a bright smile crossing her lips.

"That isn't a man who is miserable, Bella. That is a man who is in love. Jacob is a passionate man, and everything he does he puts his whole heart in it. When it comes to you, he's all in."

I took a deep breath as I contemplated her words. She was right, Jacob was happy. Billy made a point a few times how happy Jacob is now. Perhaps the part I love most about Jake is his passion and drive.

He never gives up on people, especially me. He waited for so many months so content with being in my life.

"But all of this isn't as important as my next question for you," Emily said, interrupting my train of thought. She grasped both my hands in hers.

"How do you feel about him?" She asked, searching my face for an answer.

"I love him. I never thought I could fall in love again because I was too scared to be vulnerable again. I was fine watching other peoples love stories because I never really believed I would have one. I was fine on my own," I admitted.

"The more time I spent around him the more I realized that I had feelings for him. He was the opposite of every man I met before. He was so sure of himself and he accepted me-all of me. He's not romantic, or a smooth talker. But he showed his love for me through his actions. He was there for me without asking a question. I was fine without him, but when I'm with him I feel free. He doesn't try to outshine me, he lets me shine by myself," I murmured, a smile forming on my lip.

"I love him," I added, wiping a stray tear away.

"Okay, so what do you want to do?" She asked, a cautious smile spreading across her lips.

"I want to be with him," I said, wiping the last tears away. Emily's eyes lit up at my answer as she squeezed my hands softly in hers.

"Then tell him when you're ready. You don't have to have everything figured out right now. Sam and I don't have everything figured out and we've been together for two years. That's the beauty of it all, you both get to figure it out together," she murmured.

I tend to overanalyze situations; I was cognizant that sometimes I put too much pressure on my plan unfolding exactly how I wanted it to. However, life throws curve ball sometimes and fate laughs and gives you something better.

Jake was the curveball that challenged me in ways I couldn't fathom. Instead of not swinging or stepping up to the plate like I'd done so many times before because I let fear control me, I was swinging this time.

"Okay," I murmured, as I got up from the chair. Then, I realized I was going to proclaim my love for Jake in a pair of yoga pants and a discolored UW shirt.

"Oh god," I muttered as I looked down at my ensemble. I was making every romantic comedy director yell for a costume change.

"What's wrong?" Emily asked anxiously.

"I just remembered I'm in yoga pants and a tee shirt. I'm pretty sure I still have mascara streaks on my face," I explained with a huff.

"You're ridiculous. You got all the mascara off your face. Jake adores you, he'd think you're beautiful in a burlap sack," Emily said encouragingly.

"You think?" I asked, turning up my nose.

"Go get your man," Emily said, enveloping me in a warm hug.

"Thank you for being my voice of reason and being there," I murmured.

"Of course, Bella, anytime. I'm planning to see you around more now. Call me and let me know how it goes," Emily said, releasing me from her embrace.

"I will," I promised.

* * *

As I sat in the driver's seat of my car I contemplated calling it a night. I could tell Jacob the next morning and have the whole night to sleep on it. After Emily's talk, I realized my feelings didn't change.

While Jake's news came as a shock, I knew doubts stemmed from my insecurity. I wanted Jake to have a choice. Jake was right, we can't choose the people we love. However, we can choose to deliberately love them every day.

Jake showed me love in action every day throughout my time back in Forks. His actions spoke loudly and I was a fool to ignore them. Jake could have chosen to have me because of all people he imprinted on me.

However, he didn't. Instead, he loved me in a way that seemed so foreign and unknown to me. He gave himself and constantly went out of his way to learn more about me. He listened and called me out when I was wrong.

Hours earlier when Jake laid his heart out to me, he told me he wasn't Edward.

Jake was a man, not a boy. Therefore, he loved me maturely. He did't have to check constantly where I was. He wasn't my keeper, he realized I had a life before him; he just aims to be a part of it.

He never made me doubt myself or question my abilities. Instead, he empowered me and served as a support system. Jake never made me change, instead he loved me where I was.

He wasn't the fairytale ideal; he wasn't Prince Charming. He wasn't complicated, I didn't spend my nights analyzing every situation.

He was simple, like the hum of my old truck. Jake was dependable like the rain coming every other day. I couldn't run from feeling anymore. When I ran away from what I felt, I never stopped feeling.

Instead, I was simply denying the issue in the first place. I took a deep breath before closing my eyes. I leaned my forehead against the steering wheel before I sat up straight and shoved the key in the ignition.

I didn't bother looking at the time as I drove down the familiar road. The dim porch light flashed on and off as I drove into Jake's gravel driveway. I could see Billy's outline on the screen door as I parked.

As soon as I shut the car door, I began nearly sprinting to the stairs. My heart hammered in my chest so hard I could feel the vibration in my ears. I held my fingers together to prevent Billy from seeing them shake.

I knocked swiftly on the door.

"Bella," Billy said, observing my nervousness. He immediately swung open the door before gesturing for me to come inside.

"Hi Billy," I said, trying to keep my voice level.

"Jake is out in the yard," Billy said, answering my unspoken question. I nodded my head as he pointed towards the back door. Once I reached the back door, I swung it open. In the moonlight, I could see Jake sitting on the grass.

With his super human hearing, I know he could hear me. However, he remained completely still as I advanced towards him. I plopped down beside him, taking a deep breath.

"Bells," Jake greeted, meeting my gaze. The pain in his eyes made me nearly tear up. The light in his dark eyes seemed so much dimmer than hours ago.

"Jake, I'm sorry," I said, my eyes pleading with his.

"You don't have anything to apologize for," Jake said with a sad smile. I couldn't believe him; he'd laid his heart out on the line and I trampled it. Yet, he acted like it was already forgiven.

"Yes I do," I said with a huff.

"Bells..." Jake started off.

"No, you don't just get to push your feelings aside for my benefit. You're always honest with me, Jake. And so I have to be with you," I murmured as I played with my fingers. A calculating expression crossed his face.

"I like to run, not like the running we do sometimes in the forest. I like running away from my problems because deep down I'm terrified of getting hurt. I don't like being vulnerable and having my heart on my sleeve. After everything, I just believed it was better to make it alone. I like to keep a safe distance so I can protect myself," I said, rushing out.

"From the day you helped me move in you had me confused. I couldn't just leave when I felt uncomfortable or when we got too close. You didn't try to change me or take my independence away. You took care of me when I was messed up, but you didn't see me as a project to fix. You brought me coffee and never asked about my past. You welcomed me in and invited me in to your world," I said, a smile spreading across my lips. Blush heated my cheeks as Jake gazed at me like I was the only part of his universe.

"You chose to do all of those things. Imprint or not, you chose to be with me. Even when it was probably easier to walk away," I said, tears shining in my eyes.

"Bells, what are you saying?" Jake looked at me completely clueless and with a slight glimmer of hope. He wasn't much for lengthy declarations.

"I love you, Jake. I'm in love with you," I said softly, almost inaudibly. Shutting my eyes, I let out a deep breath. I let Jake in, after so many months of keeping him at the gates, I let him into the castle of my heart.

Before I could utter another word, Jake pulled me gently to my feet. I could feel his chiseled arms circle around me as I pressed my face into his shirt. He put his chin on the top of my head for a few minutes.

Then, I felt his index finger underneath my chin. He coaxed my chin up so he could see my face. His dark eyes searched mine for any sign of doubt before he pressed his warm lips to mine.

At first, I stood there immobilized. Jake's hand found purchase on the small of my back to press me closer to him while the other hand tangled in my hair. I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck as he lifted me off the ground. I giggled against his lips.

"In case it wasn't clear, I love you too, baby girl. Thank you for making me the happiest man alive," Jake said with an impish grin as he pushed a stray hair back behind my ear.

"Jake, I'm sorry I didn't realize it earlier," I said, looking down and blushing.

"Hey, don't apologize. You realized it eventually," Jake said with a wink.

"Thank you," Jake whispered, peppering my face with kisses. I felt his lips kiss my cheek, my forehead, my nose, my eyelids, and then I felt his lips find where I wanted them the most.

His lips met mine earnestly, a stark difference between this kiss compared to our first kiss. His calloused hand stroked my cheek before he pulled me against him. I could feel every line of him press against me.

His heartbeat beat through the thin material of his shirt. I felt my feet leave the ground as his strong arms lifted me. After a few moments, he lowered me to the ground slowly before breaking the kiss.

"I've waited so long to do that," Jake said with a chuckle as his bright eyes met mine. Before I could respond, I heard a thunder clap before rain began to pour down. I giggled as the first drops of rain fell on my hair before the rain picked up intensity.

"We should probably go inside," Jake suggested as his fingers interlocked with mine.

"No, I like it," I argued. There was a new beginning on the horizon, and the rain proved the past could be washed away. My shirt along with my hair became soaked and Jake looked at me like I had three heads.

"Bells, it's pouring. I don't want you to get sick," Jake said, pleading with me. Screw him and his puppy dog eyes. I rolled my eyes, which Jake knew as acceptance. Wasting no time, he pulled me into his arms and carried me bridal style inside.

Catching my breath as we came indoors I looked at him.

"It would start raining when I proclaim my love for you, huh?" Jake said with a cheeky smile as he shuffled to the closet to fetch a few towels.

"I take it as a good sign," I said, realizing I must look like a lunatic. He peeked across the corner and saw me shiver. He grabbed two towels before walking in front of me.

"You're freezing, Bells," Jake said, a frown punctuating his lips. At that moment, I remembered stepping out of my car on to the wet grass as rain poured down; that first moment in Forks when I recoiled from the rain.

The rain reminded me of the sun being covered, unable to shine. However, I never felt more alive. My heart was pounding in my chest as I felt rain drops fall on my face.

"C'mon, silly woman," Jake said, as he wrapped a soft ebony towel around me. My teeth chattered as he gently led me up the steps to his bedroom. He practically tore through his dresser to unearth an old Metallica shirt and a pair of sweat pants.

"Jake, what are you doing?" I asked him, observing him taking apart his room. He held the tee shirt and sweatpants in his hands as he gently placed them in mine.

"You can change into these," Jake said, his warm concerned eyes meeting mine. I could feel my heart skip a beat in my chest as I fell in love with him all over.

"Jake..." I mumured.

"They'll be big on you, but it's not good to stay in wet clothes," Jake said with a frown. I peered up at him as I kissed his cheek. Of course he was right; the ensemble was almost comical on me.

After I dressed, I mustered a look at myself in the mirror. My hair was a lost cause, hanging in stringy wet brown curls falling to my mid back. I decided I needed to look slightly more presentable so I splashed water on my face.

My heart pounded in my chest as I tried to will it to slow down. _Why was I nervous?_ Jake is my best friend, but suddenly the big elephant in the room trampled in. Relationships were a relatively foreign concept to me, and largely my anxiety stemmed from my fear.

With Edward, I never confronted the source of my fears. Largely my fears came from watching my father grapple with my mother's desertion. I never witnessed a love that lasts before, which explains my cynical view towards love.

I knew Jacob was a different man, he was dependable and most of all he loved me. He was not perfect, nor could he solve my problems. However, he could walk along side me and support me.

"Bella?" Jake asked, his concerned voice echoing through the door.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I said, quickly running a hand through my almost dry hair as I attempted to tidy up my wet clothes. Taking a deep breath, I opened the bathroom door wide.

I met Jake's gaze as he scanned me for a moment.

"Good Lord, you're so sexy," Jake said as he whispered in my ear. I giggled as I put my arms around his neck.

"I made you some tea," Jake said, a few minutes after we stood there in silence.

"You're wonderful," I said with enthusiasm. He pressed a lingering kiss on my forehead before he walked beside me in the kitchen. He handed me the warm mug as he leaned against the counter.

"Thank you for the clothes," I murmured before I took a sip.

"No problem, Bells," Jake said with an impish smirk. He led me over to the living room couch before we both sat down beside each other.

"I went to Emily's," I said, as I met his gaze.

"Yeah? How did that go?" Jake asked, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.

"I had a bunch of questions after you told me. She told me what happened to her," I said, my lips turning downward in a frown.

"Sam still beats himself up about it every day," Jake said with a sigh, shaking his head.

"It was an accident, and Emily forgave him," I said, reminding him.

"What else did you talk about?" Jake asked curiously.

"Imprinting," I replied. Jake gave me a look to encourage me to continue.

"She cleared up a few questions I had. I felt so bad for you, Jake because at first I didn't think you had a choice. I believed you were forced to love me. Maybe those stray wishes on stars when I wished for a partner made the universe deal you the cruel card...But as Emily talked about how you were after the imprinting happened, I knew you weren't miserable," I said with a smile towards the end.

He studied me for a minute as his deep ebony eyes meshed with mine. With ease, he moved my legs up on the couch so we were facing each other.

"Far from miserable, Bells," he said as he held my hands in his.

"Do you ever miss not being a werewolf?" I asked curiously.

"I wish I didn't have to worry about turning into a massive hairy animal every time I get pissed off," Jake said, chuckling.

"But it gave me a family. Sure, I had a family before, but after Mom died it was just Billy and me. Then, once I transformed, I got close with Sam and Jared and then Embry, Brady, Quil, Paul, and Seth. Sure they annoy the hell out of me sometimes, but they're my family," Jake explained.

His tone shifted into a more serious one as his dark eyes fixed on mine.

"With or without magic Bella, I would have fallen in love with you. It was only a matter of time, babe. You were the girl I made mudpies in the driveway with, the girl I caught fireflies with, the girl in the blue dress who took my breath away standing across the room knowing she wasn't mine..." Jake trailed off.

If only I knew then that the boy clumsily dancing with me would become the man I fell in love with...

Jake was imperfect, he didn't say all the right words. His eyes, however practically screamed 'I love you' every moment.

"But now you're my girl," Jake said, pulling me closer to him. He saw me yawn as he pulled me into his warm arms. Without skipping a beat, he picked me up bridal style to gently lay me on his bed.

"Where are you gonna sleep?" I asked, peering at him. He adjusted the covers around me before he kissed my forehead.

"I'm not, I'll be out on patrol." Jake murmured as his warm eyes met mine.

"I can take the couch," I offered.

"Bells, the couch and I are in a very serious relationship," Jake said with a wink. I slapped his chest lightly.

"I'll be back after patrol. Get some sleep, sweetheart," he said as he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"Be safe, I love you," I said, my words beginning to slur.

"I love you too, sweet girl," he murmured, turning off the light switch before closing the door behind him. As I heard the door click, I snuggled closer Jake's pillow that smelled like him.

* * *

When I awoke hours later, the space beside me was vacant. I reached out my arms to feel if Jake came back and was dissappointed by the cold sheets beneath my fingers. I did hear the rumble of the coffee maker in the other room.

I peered outside the foggy window to find the sun wasn't up yet. I stumbled into Jake's bathroom, throwing some water on my face before shrugging on one of Jake's frayed sweatshirts; I knew he wouldn't mind.

I tiptoed into the hallway, realizing I was the first one awake. Once I made it to the kitchen, I looked over my shoulder to find Jake passed out on the couch. As he promised, he was sound asleep on the couch. He was shirtless and didn't have a blanket on.

His feet were hanging off of the fold out couch. I walked softly over to him before spreading a throw blanket over him. The dark purple circles under his eyes were slowly beginning to decrease.

I somehow managed to make it back in the kitchen without tripping. I opened the fridge before finding a carton of eggs. I decided Jake and Billy may want an omelette. I figured Jake probably ate around four eggs in the morning considering the size of his appetite.

Last night seemed so surreal; I couldn't believe the handsome man on the couch was mine. Even with the baggage and the freak-out I had, Jake accepted me without question. He wasn't my fairytale man.

He wasn't my knight in shining armor because I didn't need him to be. He wasn't here to save me because I don't need saving. He was the man who treated me like the woman I am and never wanted me to change.

He was steady, like the rain falling on the window pane every Saturday morning. He had a heart the size of the sky and most of all he was simple. I was tired of games and Jake never made me question myself or what his motives were.

I was terrified he was simply stuck with me and had no choice in the matter. Due to my own blindness I couldn't see that every day he chose deliberately to be with me whether I knew it or not.

He had his demons too and his baggage. He was secure in himself, but he always questioned if he was doing enough. If he did enough for his dad, if he was good enough as a son.

He worried if he was romantic enough with me and if he could give me everything I wanted.

As the eggs simmered in the pan, I added cheese as I continued to cook the eggs. After I finished cooking the eggs, I threw some bacon in the oven. I looked over into the living room to find Jake still sound asleep.

I put the omlettes on two plates before I began pancakes. When I was half-way through making the pancake batter, I felt two warm arms encircle me. Jake. I leaned back in his embrace as he kissed my temple gently.

"Good morning, beautiful girl," he murmured, his words muffled by my hair.

"Good morning, Jake," I greeted as I poured a little bit of the pancake mixture into the frying pan.

"I thought you'd be asleep. I had this whole plan of waking you up," Jake murmured as my stomach did summersaults at his words.

"Oh really?" I said, turning around to face him after I flipped the pancake over. His playful eyes met mine as he put both hands on the counter beside my body.

"Yep, I was going to make you coffee and take you out to breakfast," Jake said as he leaned closer.

"You were snoozing when I came in," I reminded him.

"Yes, because it's six-thirty in the morning," Jake said with a chuckle.

"Oh," I muttered, blush flooding my cheek.

"I don't mind that you're in my kitchen, believe me. I dreamed of you wearing my clothes and spending mornings with you," Jake said, before he leaned down for a kiss. His lips were warm as I lifted my heels off of the cold tile to reach his lips more easily.

Realizing my predicament, Jake lifted me with ease off the floor. Kissing Jake was unlike anything I experienced before; he kissed me like I wasn't breakable. Instead, he didn't hold back.

Slowly, Jake lowered me to the ground.

"I had to pinch myself this morning," Jake said, keeping his arms around me. I poured more batter into the pan as I realized what his words meant.

"Holding you in my arms," Jake said, musing as I rolled my eyes.

"I did the same this morning, I can't believe it happened." I murmured, kissing his cheek before I flipped the pancake over.

"Bella, sweetheart," Jake began, with a deep breath.

"I know you let me in last night into the vulnerable parts of you. I love that you give so much, but I want you to know you do not have to make it up to me by making me breakfast. Nothing you tell me can ever make me love you any less," Jake began, turning me around to face him.

"The skeletons in your closet don't scare me, Bella. Do you remember the time you made me breakfast after I picked you up after that party?" Jake asked. Of course I remembered, I made a fool out of myself.

"You made me breakfast the next morning and I know how your brain works. Whenever you let someone in, you reward them for sticking around like someone would run away from you after you let them in," Jake continued, sweeping a loose hair behind my ears.

"You feel the need to compensate for someone staying. You give to people to earn their love, like it's a chore to love you" Jake added. I felt the tears burn behind my eyes as he spoke. He was right; I was terrified of people leaving as much as I tried to hide it.

"I saw the way you came in this morning like you were scared I'd be out the door," he spoke, his words burning with intensity. How did he know?

"Bella, you are not a burden. Someone's love for you does not come with a need to earn it. Baby girl, my love for you and your family's love for you is not dependent on you doing something for them. I want you to repeat these words anytime those bad thoughts come in your head," Jake said, placing his hands on both sides of my cheek.

"I am not a burden. I deserve to be loved and appreciated for the woman I am and the fire I've had to step in to become her. I do not have to earn love because I already am loved by all who meet me," Jake said. I let out a huff.

"All who meet me?" I said with a chuckle.

"Any idiot with a brain should love you," Jake said, rationalizing.

"Jake..." I started, but he interrupted me.

"You're always enough for me, Bella. In fact, I'm dating up. I am going to give you a loving kick in the ass when you don't see yourself clearly," Jake said, his gaze meeting mine.

He could call me out on my bullshit and for that I loved him so much.

"I love you, Bells. I'm not running, I'm not like the other idiots who didn't appreciate you in the past. Hell, I am kind of grateful because they allowed me to know you and love you," Jake said, intensity burning behind his words.

"I love you, Jake," I murmured pressing myself into his chest. In response, he wound his arms around me as he put his chin on the top of my head. I turned around a moment later before I finished up the remainder of the pancake mixture.

"I just wanted you to know that you don't have to do things to earn my love anything or keep me around," Jake said, whispering into my neck.

"How do you know this breakfast wasn't just for me?" I asked, turning around to face him. Just like that, we went from serious to playful in a span of two minutes. Jake opened his mouth in astonishment as he shook his head.

"I love a woman who eats," Jake said, smiling impishly as he hugged me to his chest.

"And I love breakfast," I said, shifting out of his arms to flip the last pancake. Once I managed to put the last pancake with the rest of the stack, I turned off the stove unit. As soon as I turned around to face Jake, he lifted me in his arms.

"Jake! I'm too heavy, put me down!" I said in protest.

"Bella, really? You're like a hundred pounds soaking wet," Jake reminded with a chuckle.

"It was hard enough cooking with you all up on me," I muttered. Not that I minded of course.

"I'm sorry for distracting you," Jake apologized half-heartedly.

"Do you want breakfast? Because it's all ready," I reminded him.

"That can wait," Jake said as he carried me over to the pull-out couch. He pretended like he was going to throw me onto the bed before he gently placed me on the bed. He jumped on the bed, making it bounce.

"Jeez," I murmured with a chuckle as he laid down next to me. He wrapped me in his arms as I laid my head down on his chest.

"How was patrol?" I asked, peeking up at his face.

"It was okay, kinda boring. They couldn't stand me last night," he said with a sigh.

"And why was that?" I asked curiously.

"I couldn't wait to get back to you," Jake answered. I snuggled closer to him as I just let myself relax in his arms. We laid in silence for a few minutes as every once in a while I felt him kiss my forehead, cheek, nose, and lips briefly.

"Sam told me Emily wanted to have us over at lunch today, does that sound okay?" Jake asked, threading his fingers through mine.

"Yeah," I said, a twinge of nervousness in my tone.

"Are you nervous?" Jake asked, reading me like a book.

"A little," I admitted with a huff.

"Bella, they already love you. Emily is ecstatic," Jake said, pulling me tightly to him. There was a lingering worry in my head; I knew Jake's sister wasn't a fan of mine. There was a rational part of me that reminded me it didn't matter.

"I'm just worried about Rachel," I admitted, chewing the inside of my cheek.

"Don't be, she can say whatever she wants but it doesn't change anything." Jake reminded me.

"Do you want me to say something to her?" Jake asked, meeting my gaze. I could handle it, I could speak up for myself. I was touched by his willingness to do so.

"I can handle it," I assured him. Jake smiled crookedly for a moment.

"Yeah, you can, but I'll be there right beside you," Jake promised, kissing my lips chastely.

* * *

 **Wow, that was an emotional roller coaster. Bella really opened up in this chapter and Jake was perfect as usual.**

 **Let me know what you thought! Leave me a review if you can :)**

 **I hope all of you have a safe and relaxing holiday. And for all who are traveling I hope you get there safely!**

 **-Princessinblues**


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